DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: DONALD TRUMP!

I don't know which is scarier: the fact that this blowhard is actually running or that he has propelled himself to the number two spot in many polls. Voters do know if they pick this guy, whoever the democrat is, will win in a landside reminiscent of the Regan/Mondale slaughter from 1984. He has pissed off the Hispanic voters, without whom he cannot win. He has hardly made himself any friends with the gay community (although to be honest he is light years ahead with that demographic considering almost all his opponents are anti-gay bigots) and has a huge negative factor that no other candidate, not even Hillary or Bush has, that would be near impossible to overcome. Sigh, America. Let's see those runner ups in this shortened week.

10)Sharks- Will someone please remind all the sharks swimming out there that we are not in fact food? How many times have we told you that we taste terrible. We are a species filled to the hilt with artificial preservatives, yucky chemicals, pollution and other poisons that give us the flavoring of Taco Bell that has been sitting in the sun all day. So why have you decided that North Carolina swimmers are now on the menu? The seventh attack on a swimmer happened this week which begs this question as well: what idiot is going swimming off the coast of NC right now? Someone with a death wish or a limb amputation fantasy, I guess. Stay out of the water as lack of food may be driving these creatures closer to shore, otherwise known as that global warming thing that so isn't happening according to half the population and all of the GOP. This is more of that proof you keep screaming about wanting. If you don't believe me, by all means Republicans senators, put on your bathing suits and take a nice cool swim with the sharks that you say isn't being caused by climate change. Please, do that. Get back to me after you haven't been nibbled to death.

9)TV Land- I totally get not wanting the Confederate Flag flying over state houses. That is really wrong. However, if you want to have one in your house, in front of your house, or on your car, that is your given right as an American. Be prepared to be called a racist, which let's face it, many of the bearer's of the flag aren't, but much like the swastika has forever been ruined by the Nazi's (it's actually a good luck ward against evil in Indian culture), the Confederate Flag has been sullied by the KKK and Dylann Storm Roof. But now we always have gone too far with TV Land taking Dukes of Hazard off the air because of the Confederate Flag on the car, the General Lee. There are no racist connotations on that show, it's fairly tame by today's standards in general, and Daisy Duke set many a pre-teen's heart racing, ushering him into manhood as the first hot woman some of us noticed. Bring the show back, even if I haven't watched it since it first aired, for the people out there who do like it and are not racists. This is PC nonsense run amok again.

8)David Vitter- How this pig is still in office says loads about Republican voters. Hillary Clinton writes an email saying she was thirsty and all hell breaks loose. This douchebag, another "family values" idiot, was caught years ago sleeping with prostitutes, and an apparent diaper fetish (YUCK!), but still kept his job. WTF? So what do this ass do this week? When gay marriage was legalized, he used Twitter (something the Republican party grew to regret from multiple candidates this week for whom Twitter was devastating to them), by writing out for all to see  "A Chick-Fil-A kind of day," accompanied by a picture of him eating said meal. This of course, led a lot of people to write on his Twitter feed about his past, reminding him that gay people are at least trying to be monogamous legally with their partners as he cheated on his wife with hookers. What a dick.

7)Airlines- For me to get from either Logan or TF Green to Philly costs as much as going to California or Europe lately. The reason for this is because airlines like Southwest and JetBlue stopped flying those routes meaning the only to get there is through US Air/AA, one of only five airlines left in the country. Now comes word that four of the five have conspired with each other to deliberately block routes thus increasing costs for seats. This is why monopolies are dangerous, why we should have never deregulated the airline industry and why we definitely shouldn't have allowed only five companies to remain. The airlines are screwing us. Must be Thursday.

6)Claire McCaskill- This bitch Senator from Missouri needs a swift, sharp kick in the ass as voters should be outside her office right now with pitchforks and torches. Coming off like Diane Feinstein, another democrat who should be tarred and feathered for traitorous votes, this absolute idiot is selling us out bit by bit. It's bad enough she helped the fast track get by for the fascist TPP to pass, she now is now shilling for Hillary calling Bernie Sanders an "extremist" and "too liberal" for America. Yeah, because Hillary is NOT liberal enough, you cunt! To say I loathe this woman would be an understatement. She spent the better part of an interview slamming Sanders for things, she herself supports. What a tool. The fact she wants to kill the Cleary Act, which makes mandatory reporting of school shootings to students in harm's way, a real head scratcher, and all because she it creates too much paperwork. Boo Hoo. Next time this whore is up for re-election, vote her out. She is dangerous to this society and should be removed from office post haste.

5)Ted Cruz- Speaking of idiots who should never be in office, Cruz made the bizarre decision to post a video this week of him doing terrible impressions from famous Simpson characters. I can honestly say I have never seen anything like it. On top of that, he went into full on moron mode after the Supreme Court ruled against some of his pet projects and he now wants term limits on the Court because of it. To be honest, I don't think that is such a bad idea as morons like Thomas and Scalia would have been sent packing years ago. Be careful what you wish for because term limits for justices may lead to a much more liberal, and therefore, reasonable court.

4)Scott Walker- This blowhard will officially enter the race this week, bringing the total number of Republicans running to all of them. I have heard rumors that some are even planning on digging up the grave of Ronald Regan and throwing his hat back into the ring, Weekend At Bernie's style. Yet another unpopular governor thinking he has any chance which he probably doesn't. When your numbers are underwater at home, and you have done a disastrous job to earn that negativity, how long before the rest of the country catches up?

3)Chris Christie- This guy is even less popular than Walker and Trump and has absolutely no chance of winning. We already have our blowhard quota sewn up tight with those two in there and there will not be room for a third, even one as big as he is. He missed his moment in 2012. 2016 will not be kind. His poll numbers in his own state are hovering around 30%, is under several FBI investigations still, lied to the public about pension reform and is 48th in job creation in the country. Good luck Fat Boy you are going to need it.

2)EU/IMF/Banks- The EU is playing chicken with the world, the IMF is helping and banks have huge liability issues with Greek and Puerto Rican debt. None of this had to happen this way but rich people are refusing to carry their fair share anymore and want the rest of us to live in unending poverty while they live the high life. They do know that is not possible right? Next week a reckoning may be coming.

1)Donald Trump- No one has done more damage to the GOP and his own brand than the Donald lately. He was fired from Macy's, Univision and NBC this week and now Serta has severed ties with him as well. His insistence in labeling Mexicans as criminals is killing his chances in the wider election. And worst of all for Republicans, he is sucking up all the oxygen out of the room for anyone else. Say what you want about the guy, but he knows how to self-publicize, good or bad. Reince Priebus, the head of the RNC, acknowledged that fact this week, which is kind of damning praise I guess. Democrats are thrilled with this as Trump is a lightning rod which will cause all press to be about him for some time and 99% of it is really bad. If he becomes the nominee, Republicans will stay home in droves and democrats will show up just to vote against him. As the Supreme Court ruled against gerrymandering rules in states that want to opt out them, the House is now in jeopardy in states like Arizona and five others where independent committees will set the voting districts instead of Republicans which skewer the numbers in their favor. Wherever that has occurred, no matter how red the state is, seats are being lost on the right due to the rigged nature of districts. So congratulations Donald Trump, you are indeed douchebag of the week.