Sunday, March 26, 2017

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: WE HAVE A TIE AS PAUL RYAN AND DONALD TRUMP OUTSTUPID ONE ANOTHER!

If you were a Republican this week, you had a very, very bad week. The Republican attempt to "fix" healthcare is as DOA as 24 million might have been had this crappy thing passed. Has anyone else noticed just how bad Ryan is at his job? Policy wonk my ass. This douche keeps giving us the exact same plan for everything since 2010 which is tax breaks for the super rich while taking away programs that keep people alive to pay for it. Not surprisingly, few like it. Yet, this ass keeps trotting whatever plan he had stashed in his desk every two years with a few minor tweaks and that's it. And then we have Orange Hitler, who couldn't be bothered to even attempt to come up with his own plan because that would of course require hard work which this guy knows nothing about. Let's see those runner ups.
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10)The Rockland, Maryland rape case- This week, two Hispanics, one illegal, allegedly raped a 14 year girl in the high school bathroom. I do not understand why if we pick someone up for being here illegally, as the older boy was, why release him back and not deport him immediately? And why should our schools be teaching people here illegally? I am not unsympathetic to immigrants but this is affecting our children too, sometimes here violently. This is why immigration reform is so crucial and because the only options we seem to have are let them all stay from the left (not wise) or deport them all from the right(equally stupid). Can't we come up with a smart compromise? Not in today's super polarized world. And how come this wasn't a bigger story outside of the right wing media? It did happen and ignoring it doesn't help guys.

9)Colin Kaepernick- I would like to say I support the former QB for his protest during games by kneeling. However, free speech works both ways and when you a public figure, taking a divisive stance can ruin your career, especially if you are not a Tom Brady. After being let go by the 49's, he has struggled to find another team which is not all that surprising. He is a lightning rod, much like Michael Vick without the talent, which is why he was able to come back, somewhat, but never achieved the glory he had before. Most teams have said they don't want the hassle he will bring. Tim Tebow found that out the same way when his strong Christian beliefs and mediocre gameplay pushed him out and he is now sucking at baseball instead. You are free to say what you want in this country. You are also going to pay a price sometimes for it.

8)Sears/JC Penny's- Both stores are at death's door according to sources. Sears was like being in the Hunger Games as survival became a team sport, wrecking moral and the company. JC Penny's was equally mismanaged, especially when the owner dropped sales and went after the mythical rich hipster class that does exist but only in tiny numbers. This move decimated the store as long time customers left and new ones never came because they are rarer than Bigfoot. Idiots are ruining the world for us and here is solid proof.
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7)P. Diddy- Proving my point about black racism, this dick is getting sued by three former employees from Revolt TV, which I have never heard of but I am the wrong skin color for that. I am equally sure that no one there ever saw or even heard of Bass Masters. Three executives are claiming they were treated badly because of their white skin color, called racist names, ignored and unfairly singled out for things that black people at work did worse and received no punishment at all. When they got fired and replaced by a younger black demographic they sued. I hope they win so we can forever put to rest that black people can not be racist. They are and sometimes far worse than whites. I've seen it first hand.

6)Judge Napolitano- Much like Kaepernick without the social justice behind him, this guy got castrated this week from his bullshit claim about Obama tapping the White House and Trump. When it all blew up in his face, he got fired from Fox News. Just as bad, he may be facing ethics charges from the NY and NJ ABA because he is still calling himself a judge, even though he stepped down in 1995, which is a big no no apparently. The law states if you are a judge, or even a former one, and use the title AND put forth knowingly false information you could face ethics charges and even be disbarred. Next time we see this idiot, he may be just MR. Napolitano.

5)Rex Tillerson- This guy is such a MORON! Not that we didn't see that coming. An oil CEO with zero experience in diplomacy you say; what could go wrong? He has limited the press covering him, which he doesn't seem to understand is a huge part of the job. When we can't see what is going on, conspiracy theories arise instead and that isn't good for anyone. Then, in a true tone deaf fashion, is planning on skipping his first NATO meeting to go to Russia, where he has deep ties. Meanwhile, treason talks connecting Trump and Russia are swirling and this is where you draw your line in the sand? Good luck dick. Your entire administration is on the brink.
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4)Paul Manafort- Russia is going to play "bigly" into the rest of this column. Next up, we have Manafort who got slammed this week with major stories about his ties to Russia, including a ten million dollar payday from Putin for "stabilizing US/Russia relationships," but is really, most likely, treason. This is on top of the $750.000 he illegally took from Ukraine or the millions he received from back door policies. It hasn't been widely reported but Putin has been offing a lot of people lately, including an Ukrainian set to testify against Manafort, Putin and the former Ukrainian leader but came down with a serious case of lead poisoning when he was shot a bunch of times. Manafort is set to testify in the kangaroo court run by asshole Devin Nunes tomorrow. Don't expect to find out anything as Nunes is in the bag for Trump.

3)Devin Nunes- I have never seen anyone ever run an investigation this poorly. The FBI did better with the anthrax case and that is saying something. This week, this fuckwad has done everything wrong, even pissing off his own party. On Wednesday, he held a press conference saying that he has explosive information that Obama was indeed tapping Trump, but was rather wishy washy with the details, even contradicting himself in the same press briefing saying Obama wasn't involved. Then we found out, this press conference and his previous visit to the WH was never discussed with even his own party of members from anyone in the committee he chairs. By Friday, it all turned out to be bullshit, most likely falling victim to some right wing smear story about NSA documents that were about to be released any minute that would prove Trump right. Had this idiot done even a the slightest research would have found out that the alleged documents were coming through Joe Arpaio, the same schmuck still claiming Obama was born in Kenya and keeps telling us he has concrete evidence that we never see. Even Republicans may be asking for a special prosecutor because this ass is a Trump stooge and always has been. He worked on Trump's campaign so there is that fact. McCain and others are losing faith in him as are a majority of the public. This won't end well.

2)Republicans- You guys sucked this week. Most of you fought against the health care bill, not because it was too expensive or wouldn't work, but because it didn't kill more people. Wow! Whoever is still supporting these asses is just as dumb as they are. Everything they have done is to give more money for rich people while taking away from you. Their tax reform bill should be equally horrendous and even less likely to pass than health care. 2018 is coming quick and those midterm may be ugly at this point.
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1)Trump and Ryan- I don't know who was worse. Trump is an idiot and Ryan is a fool. And these two are some of the most powerful people on Earth. Trump can't be bothered to govern because he is lazy and incompetent. Ryan can't get anywhere outside of trickle down economics, a proven failure. Their tax plan is going to be a joke. Trump's budget is DOA before it even got looked at as even Mitch McConnell said yuck to it. Ryan's will be another laugh riot as it will try to cut money from places where some politician will bitch to high heaven, especially when lobbyist get involved. Take the border tax. Target and Walmart hate it as they will lost a fortune and consumers will get sacked with higher prices. How likely is that to pass when people like Tom Cotton stand against it? There is almost zero chance that they will have any better luck with this than health care meaning they are going to have two big loses back to back. I guess Trump was tired of all the winning. And then we have Russia ties which sources tell me are not going well for the President and could be facing serious charges, especially if Mike Flynn has turned evidence over to the FBI as some are speculating. Word is that there are explosive charges against Trump cohorts and Russia, and possibly Trump himself. If true, he is on borrowed time. As long as a huge terrorist attack doesn't happen anytime soon and then we really get Orange Hitler, we may be alright. Trump and the Republicans cannot govern. And if they can't, their days are numbered. Congratulations Trump and Ryan, you are both indeed douchebag of the week.

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