DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: RON JOHNSON, DEVIN NUNES AND THE REST OF THE TRUMP SYCOPHANTS!

The Republican party is becoming dangerously close to treason at this point. This week we saw several morons crow about a secret society that they felt was the smoking gun about a "deep state" attack on Trump. When that blew up in their face, their deception was revealed and at this point, anyone voting for any of these assholes come 2018 should be examined for brain damage. The Republican party is not fit to run a Chucky Cheese let alone the country. If you can't see that, you are no better. Let's see those runner ups.

10)Marlene Johnson- This story is happening way too often lately. This 66 year old from North Carolina was found guilty this week of murder and will spend the rest of her life behind bars. Her crime? She murdered a woman who she suspected was having an affair with her husband and, of course, wasn't. So she killed an innocent woman and then went on to deny any involvement even though her DNA was all over the place. Why are criminals always so stupid?

9)Joshua Boyle- I didn't like this guy before he was accused of being a rapist dick. This is the same ass who took his pregnant wife for a hike through the Afghani wilderness because nothing says vacation like a trip though terrorist country. They were of course kidnapped and spent years as a captive before being released. Maybe the confinement broke him because he is now accused of 19 charges of rape, kidnapping and sexual assault. Maybe we should have left him there. Oh well, he's Canada's problem not ours.

8)Poland- There is a new law being passed in the increasingly fascist country of Poland that says history books are no longer to say that death camps in Poland are actually Polish. Instead they are blaming the Nazi for all of it and not admitting to any of their culpability, which is bull as like the French during the war, many there helped the Nazis. This is more revisionism where truth is blacked out for national pride. That is dangerous as history has a tendency to repeat itself.

7) The Grammies- I like all forms of music some more than others but no form is all terrible all the time. That being said the worst music being put out right now is by and far rap and R&B which has taken over country for being the worst form of music around. Country has taken a rock edge with acts like Chris Stapleton or fabulous harmonies with groups like the Band Perry vastly improving that cowboy crap we have been forced to listen to for decades now. Rap on the other hand, once a vibrant and powerful sound, has devolved into misogyny and racism with sad beats and little to no music ability. The fact that the Grammies are chock full of these terrible rap and R&B songs make me wonder if people with ears actually understand music anymore. Rap needs a reinvention like country has. Then, we can get back to some great acts again. Right now, these guys suck.

6)The Flu- Many don't know this but the flu kills people every year and they are not always old, real young or sickly. This latest round is proving that as scores have died, many of whom were in their twenties and healthy. I have been lucky in that I have only had the flu twice and haven't had it since I was 19. That is probably good as my health would definitely be in the sickly category now. If you get the flu, stay in bed, drink lots of fluids if you can and don't go to the hospital unless your fever spikes hard. They can't help you. Our government was supposed to develop a universal fly vaccine but it never got the funding it needed and with Captain Dumbass in charges, he wants to cut that back even further. When we all start dying from the next pandemic, blame Trump. He will be the death of us all.

5)Sean Hannity- This guy is such a dick. On a show last week, he went off on how the whole Trump was going to fire Mueller story was "fake news," until one of his guests confirmed it did happen and he had to 180 it fast. Flash forward a day and Hannity is back to "fake news" again somehow unaware of his own program just 24 hours earlier denying it. He can't even keep a story straight on his own program. Who watches this guy?

4)James Franco accusers- This is just getting sad at this point. If there was ever a moment that the #MeToo movement jumped the shark, this was it. Three more accusers came forward with "allegations" against the actor and not one was anywhere near sexual harassment let alone assault, which some were claiming. One claimed Franco pressured her into oral sex. That sounds bad right? Except for fact that they were DATING at the time. If men pressuring their girlfriends into sex is a crime, a lot of us are going to jail. Even dumber was another accuser who said she felt humiliated after he had the audacity to ask her to take her clothes off during a low budget movie. How will she go on with that hanging over head? Please. I worked in the film business and if nudity isn't your thing, find another job. I watched people destroy their career for refusing things like this because you get labeled as difficult. During the filing of our movie we had a similar argument with one of our actresses who felt it wasn't right for her character to get naked. Guess who got replaced? This is NOT harassment or assault and men have to start calling women out about it. Last night, SNL did a great skit about the whole Aziz Ansari thing were people at a dinner party were tripping over themselves not to offend anyone about their ideas on the subject. It was clear even from the women in the sketch  that these stories are going too far now and are intersecting with things like dating and sex and NOT assault. This is not to say that there are serious charges to be leveled against some. See below.

3)Steve Wynn- As I said above, there are a lot of stories out there that are nonsense. But for every ten of those we see, there are a least three that are true. Eliza Dushku's story about molestation on the set of True Lies seems true. Accuastions against Stephen Seagal, with a new one this week, also seem credible. But the biggest story was billionaire idiot Steve Wynn who was accused this week of rape, assault and harassment for years. He paid almost eight million to a woman who accused him of rape a decade ago along with more than two dozen other people coming forward with horror stories. This has proven a real problem for the RNC since they decided to weaponize the #MeToo movement when Harvey Weinstein got caught and they raised holy hell for his democratic contributions. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, they have a real problem as Wynn was the financial chair for the entire RNC. Are they too going to give back all the money he raised? Stay tuned for more how this turns out.

2)Donald Trump- Turns out he really did try to fire Mueller about one month into his investigation. Oops. And yet another lie from Orange Hitler. Worse, anyone interviewed by Mueller who stated under oath that Trump didn't try to fire Mueller is now guilty of perjury. Word is what Mueller has is radioactive to the nth degree. If this all comes out, Trump is toast and may take a good part of the RNC with it. This man is in very thin ice as the investigation is wrapping up. We should know by spring what is what. God know what will happen after all of this comes out but peaceful transition of power is hardly likely. Dragged out kicking and screaming is much more likely.

1)Ron Johnson, Devin Nunes and the Stupid Bunch- I fucking hate Devin Nunes. If you vote for this ass in 2018 you are a true traitor to this country. This week, Johnson, Nunes, Getz, Gowdy and a few others honed in on a text sent by fired Mueller staffers that were also having an affair. In it, they joked about a secret society. Well that was all these brainpowers needs to declare the deep state was going after Trump and they were not going to stand for it. They didn't wait for any context as they only had the one tweet but that was the evidence they needed that heads were going to roll and this was the biggest story since Watergate. When the rest of the messages got released it was painfully clear that the entire thing was a joke and no secrets society existed. Oops. If I was running against Ron Johnson in 2020 I would run this bit over and over to demonstrate how unfit for office he is. As it is, Gowdy, Nunes and Getz should get the same treatment in November as none of them deserve to be re-elected. These douchebags are pissing on America and some of you out there are all for it. Feel free to move to Russia if you like it so much. The Republican party is proving to be traitorous to us all as well as ANYONE voting for these dicks. So congratulations to Johnson, Nunes and the rest.You are indeed douchebag of the week.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: DONALD TRUMP! AND REPEAT!

It's like a broken record lately. Trump does something stupid, blames the other side and a third of America buys it. Trump is 100% responsible for this shutdown as he did everything he could to make sure it happened. Ironically, in the past he blamed the president for the shutdown in 2013. Now it IS his fault. Let's see those runner ups in a dying society too stupid to know any better anymore.

10)Tom Petty- Another death, another round of fentanyl. I was in excruciating agony for almost nine months and I never even asked for something that strong. Also, I was never a recovering drug addict who should never have had ANY painkillers as relapse will happen. Petty instead decided to take all sorts of painkillers as well as anti-depressants and for some inane reason, a sedative. It is no wonder he died. Heroin and the like are awful, pointless drugs. As someone who had to take painkillers and had zero problem getting off them, I have to wonder how weak we have become. Our kids all have autism, asthma and allergies far beyond what I remember. The adults are not much healthier. And heroin is EVERYWHERE. This drug has been around forever. Why is it such a problem now, beyond its increasing strength? Are humans becoming sicker and more prone to addiction because, let's face it, our civilization is dying? Maybe. It is not a comforting thought. Either way, stay the fuck away from heroin. It is a gateway to nowhere good.

9)Stormy Daniels- The porn star got pulled into the spotlight when an old allegation of an affair between her and the president resurfaced with barely a yawn. Is this really what we have become because I remember impeaching a president for a BJ? Trump could fuck his daughter on national TV and Fox news would celebrate as him being a true family man. The funny part about this is she settled for a measly $130,000 from Trump when, if she had sold her story to say the National Enquirer, she could have gotten WAY more. All porn starts are not brainless morons but Daniels is certainly not a Mensa member for sure.

8)Dr. Larry Nassar- What a perv. The former doctor for what appears to be most, if not all of the girl's gymnastic teams, was convicted this week of molesting dozens of young girls over the years, many of whom are Olympic medal wearing athletes. Before sentencing is to occur, one that will most likely see him behind bars for the rest of his life, the girls all got to say their peace to him. This dick had the balls to tell the judge it was hurting his feelings. WAAAAAA! She rightfully laughed in his face. Good. I hate people like this. Something tells me he is going to to do very badly in the hardcore prison he is headed for, a place where child molesters have a short life span.

7)Woody Allen Accusers- For fuck's sake Woody Allen is not a child molester. I am sick and tired of watching Hollywood bend over backwards to go after these long discredited stories about Allen and heap scorn upon him with NO evidence beyond the word of a little girl who was most likley manipulated by her mother, pissed she was left by her ex and her adopted daughter (not Woody's as many seem to think). The courts found NO evidence about this, found direct evidence Mia Farrow coached her daughter and several witnesses, including her son Moses, say that nothing happened. Yes, others say something else and the one court, while finding nothing to actually charge Allen with, went off on him regardless, reading stuff into the case I am not sure warranted the charges against him which the same judge ultimately dropped. Maybe that judge hated his movies or something. The facts are though that he was never charged with abuse, the court system found no evidence to bring it to court and several witnesses have discounted what Mia and her daughter have suggested. Proof means something. This witch hunt is getting ugly. Plus, how come there have been exactly ZERO others to come forward with any accusations. Like eating just one potato chip, I have never seen this happen without other cases too. Just saying.

6)Dr. Ronny Jackson- This man is a traitor to this country and should be treated as such. ANYONE who lies for the president as this asshole did this week should be tarred and feathered as our democracy is at stake. With a straight face, he came and said the president was the healthiest president who ever lives. Right. Somehow, he gained an inch because there is NO way Trump is six foot three, 239 pounds. At best, try six one and two sixty. No one grows TALLER as they age. This guy is a fucking liar.

5)Kristjen Nielsen- Another liar who this week committed perjury when she said she never heard the president say the word shithole during a meeting, in which everyone else not a butt kissing Republican confirmed. Even funnier, she claimed to have no knowledge about there being lots of white people in Norway, the country Trump wants more from (ie not black) and her name is KRISTJEN NIELSEN. Talk about Nordic, Danish actually. But not knowing there are not a lot of black people in that area hardly requires being from there, just demographics. The Republicans are proving they will lie to protect their leader. The last time we saw levels of sycophancy like this, Hitler came to power. Do not think it can't happen here.

4)Devin Nunes- He may be the second most dangerous man in Congress. Anyone voting for this ass should be forced to watch Floribama Shore on a loop. Fuckwad is pushing to release a classified memo that alleges to show abuses by FISA warrants by the FBI, allegedly so bad it could shut down the Mueller probe. From what I hear from people who know the memo is a highly subjective cherry picked evidencebcrapfest that is specifically designed to look worse than it is and in a partisan way. Several of his toadies like Steve King and Matt Getz are spinning this hard. 2018 better spell the end for all three of these dicks.

3)Tom Cotton- This ass is killing this country. He is far more radical than most in the Senate and his inaction on DACA caused this shutdown. He has been talked about being possibly moved into a higher position like AG. He would make Sessions look tame in comparison. This firebrand is sinking this country with his no compromise bullshit. He is up for reelection on 2020. If he is still has his seat, send him packing. Please.

2)Republicans- They certainly screwed the pooch his week. They managed to cobble together a compromise which Hurricane Trump torpedoed because, well no one really knows because he is maddeningly unclear in that department. They have not helped by digging in their heels and not negotiating one whit. It is like the Republicans have no idea how to govern. Mitch McConnell has threatened a one AM vote tomorrow but, even if all the Republicans switch back and the same five democrats keep their's, they are still at four vote shy. How is this a threat? Back my play or we'll vote for failure again? Does he understand how this works? The chances of them biting next year are super high as special elections are almost all going Democrats way lately, and even the races they lost, they made significant gains in. Generic ballot has the Democrats as a ten point average advantage. Past trends say they should pick up 60 plus seats, gerrymandered or not. The wave is coming.

1)Trump-My God what an ass. He started off the week calling Africa and Haiti shitholes,which while not entirely inaccurate, is not something the president should be calling people out on. This helped torpedo any deal, further hampered by the president own inability to negotiate in good faith. Several on both sides have become exasperated by this, with one person saying it "was like dealing with jello." He would agree to something one minutes and change his mind the next. Anyone who makes Obama look like a dealmaster is really tanking it hard, especially as he is supposed to be good at this. Orange Hitler spent the rest of the week blaming democrats for the shutdown he himself is almost solely to blame. He again went after McConnell for not scraping the filibuster, which if it goes our democracy with it as whoever is in power will whiplash the country back and forth between radical positions the minority will have no ability to stop. Thankfully, as over sixty senators have signed a pledge to keep the rule, they cannot get rid of it as a simple majority is not possible yet. Good as this means there is some common sense in Congress. This guy is fucking dangerous and if you can't see it God help you when either evidence comes up that he is beyond guilty of probably everything you can be guilty of or a major war that wipes out most of humanity. Either way, when support for Trump leaves you are either shunned or dead because history shows enablers get fucked later. Don't be one of those. So congratulations Trump once again you are douchebag of the week.

WORST FILMS OF 2018 BECAUSE TRUMP WASN'T BAD ENOUGH!

A government shutdown looms and it is ALL the Republicans fault. Making deals to keep the government running is what Democrats did with Republicans for the last six years. Now they have to make concessions they are telling the Democrats to pound sand. Good luck with that strategy as a majority of Americans want DACA to stay. Add to that the historical issue that whoever is in power gets the blame for a government shutdown and multiply that by the absolute hatred some of us have for all of the GOP and 2018 is looking to be a blowout. But let us look back at those films that reminded us why the last year sucked so hard. There were so many bad films that some will be listed as a category with multiple losers. I am glad I saw none of these in the theater.

WORST OF 2018

10)Animated films- Wow did animated films suck hard this year. I usually see at least one but only two looked entertaining, Ferdinand the Bull, which I hear was good, and the Pixar film Coco which looked just like Book Of the Dead from some years back and I was meh about. The rest of the fanfare was atrocious, from the idiotic Emoji Movie, which got a righteous F from many a critic, to both Boss Baby and Despicable Me 3, neither of which I made it all the way through they were so unfunny. But hands down the worst of the bunch was Nut Job 2, the sequel literally no one was asking for. We know this because this film made less money than any animated movie ever. Ouch. Make better kids movies guys because these were just lazy.

9)Gross out comedies/TV remakes- Much like animated films this year, comedies crashed and burned fantastically. For original fare, nothing was as bad as The House, which had such talent in it like Will Farrell and Amy Poehler and it still sucked anyway. Having a script is necessary instead of just putting the cameras on funny people and hoping magic will happen. It sure didn't here. Way worse were the TV remakes of CHIPS and Baywatch, which both had exactly one really funny scene in it and the rest was torture. The later was even less forgivable with some of the worst action directing I have seen in some coupled with a tone deaf soundtrack and bargain basement special effects. It was really sad, especially since they seemed to think Baywatch was watched by women instead of men considering how much time they spent on men's bodies instead of the obvious hot girls. If you are going to make a movie eye candy make sure you are pandering to the right demographic idiots.

8)Horror films- Get Out was brilliant as was IT. The rest were subpar. Flatliners was the remake no one wanted as the title described its box office. Hell the first one wasn't that great. We started in January with such crap as the Bye Bye Man which did just that after two weeks. Summer was no better with the Mummy stinking up the joint and Tom Cruise's star power getting hit with not one but two disasters (American Made which was actually a good film but died anyway). The Mummy was a clear remake of the Brendan Frasier one instead of making it into a horror film, which in hindsight was a bad idea. This films sucked so hard the rest of Dark Universe is up in the air. Also next time, don't hire a director who only has two credits and neither was that great. The worst of this bunch was the Snowman, a film that failed to film huge parts of the screenplay, making the decisions of A-listers to be in this shitshow much more understandable. The end result is a film that makes no sense, such as the decision to make a movie without having enough money to finish it.

7)King Arthur- I love the King Arthur myth having written about it extensively in high school for a term paper. Having seen every movie ever made about the king I can safety say this is one of the worst ever made. Guy Richie flames out hard removing key parts of the tale, adding in anachronistic ideas and really bad acting and you have a hard film to sit through for over two hours. Next time, read about the character before you make a movie about him. Trust me it shows.

6)Transformers 456- JUST! FUCKING! STOP! ALREADY! These films have sucked since they started and they are not getting any better. Thankfully this film tanked which hopefully means the end of these shitty movies. This is another Universe film that tried to copy Marvel and got spanked as a result. Let us hope the planned sequels all get squashed because I can't take anymore of these. Neither can most audiences considering the awful BO.

5)Geostorm- Disasters movies were all the rage before we had Hurricane Trump wipe out most of the country. This Dean Devlin misfire had everything that should have been a clear sign it was loser: Gerald Butler, sub par effects and a genre losing it's luster as we have to face REAL disasters every day, both natural and man made. I go to the movies to escape reality not be reminded of it. Audiences felt the same and stayed away in droves.

4)Book Of Henry- This film was so bad the director lost his job with the new Star Wars film. Ouch. Coming off of Jurassic World, Colin Trevorrow was hot property. Then came this film about a genius kid warning his mom about an abusive stepfather. Smaltzy as hell, the sickly sweet production gave people diabetes just watching it and they fled in large numbers. It was so bad, he got fired. That had to hurt. It reminds me of Eddie Murphy, riding high off of Dreamgirls and looking at an Oscar nod when Norbit came out and ended that talk. This was much the same.

3)Alien:Covenant- Alien and Aliens are two of my all time favorite movies. Three was okay, four sucked and Prometheus was back to okay. This latest one however is the worst of the bunch and beating Alien: Resurection is a feat as the original screenplay was one of the greatest I ave ever read, and then they butchered it on then big screen, rewriting huge parts of it for no apparent reason other than to make it suck. This one didn't even have that going for it. It made no sense especially as the film Life had a similar premise and that was way better. I was rooting for the alien to eat everyone and I guessed the ending way before the characters did. This film was awful.

2)It Comes at Night- Not one word in that title makes any sense. There is no It, it doesn't come at night, or ever for that matter as most of the film is people sitting around and talking about how sucky life is. Yawn. A plague has wiped out a large portion of humanity and some survivors in a remote cabin decide to take in a family who needs a place to stay and they start to suspect they have other ideas other than just survival. Nothing happens ever in this movie. Much like Mother, this was billed as a horror film when it was just a character study of dullness. The fact it lasted two weeks in the theater, with Megan Leavey only lasting one after opening the same week, says everything. This film was so stupid and dull I am stunned not to see it on more worst of lists. Nothing happens in the movie at all. Watch at your own risk unless you are an insomniac looking for a good night sleep.

1)The Dark Tower- No film in recent memory was this bad. This is my favorite book series from Stephen King, having read Drawing of the Three at least a dozen times along with the Wasteland and others. This film was nothing like any of the books making me wonder if anyone actually read any of them who was involved with this. Putting aside the fact that Roland is white for a reason, Idris Alba is probably the best thing in this movie along with Mathew McConaughey who does not suck as Randal Flagg. Other than that, everything else is wrong. The directing is terrible, the screenplay atrocious and even the set design is off from the pictures in the book. Roland's world is supposed to be dying and instead looks like some offshoot of Star Trek. Worst of all it is so short and gives no development of anyone or anything. Allegedly there is a TV series coming out but I wouldn't hold my breath considering. Avoid this film like the plague.

BEST OF FILM 2018 BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T WRITE ABOUT TRUMP TODAY!

Here are the best films that I saw last year. If your favorite isn't on the list, like Shape of Water which I missed and am not happy about, understand these are ones I truly liked. And while there a was a lot of crap this year, there were also some real winners, especially if you like superhero movies which by and far were the best of all, minus Justice League of course. Let's see those winners.


10)Mother-This film got some love from critics and an F from audiences. Part of that problem was they marketed this as a straight up horror film when in reality it was far more subjective and weird. JLaw stars as a married woman whose life in a country home goes bad when guests arrive and will not leave. The film gets stranger and stranger and even devolves into rape and cannibalism as the party guests become more and more insane and violent, This was not a film for everyone, the dead baby scene had many running for the toilet, but if you have a strong stomach and like these types of films, this one will haunt you for weeks afterward.

9)Get Out-What could have been a tirade against white people turned out to be a socially important, scary horror film directed by a comic who should have failed miserably at this but didn't. Jordan Peele is a front runner for best director and he should get it as this movie about a black guy finding members of his race being turned into Stepford wives in a CT town is really well done. The fact that Peele didn't go for the obvious racism angle made this a real winner.

8)John Wick 3- Any other year, this may have been my top pick. But because Marvel and even DC put out such strong work, this fell further down the list. Picking up a few weeks after the last one, Keanu Reeves returns as the quiet assassin, forced into a job that he does not want to do in Italy. We get to see even more of the Continental and even find out that it is global, with new tailors, gunsmiths and even a guy with blueprints to help our favorite anti hero. The violence is awesome and Ruby Rose is stunning as the mute bodyguard to the bad guy. A must see for action aficionados.

7)Star Wars: The Last Jedi- A lot of people I know did not like this movie. I was not one of them. I was actually thrilled that it was a new movie and not rehash as the last one was (not Rouge One which was new and different but the Force Awakens.) Daisy Ridley is gorgeous and I could stare at her all day, which is funny because apparently the Chinese say different. This movie is tanking there, petering out at around $50 million, and one of the reasons is audiences say the cast isn't pretty enough. Is the entire country gay? Part of the problem is Disney is putting out too many of these films and diluting the brand. The new Han Solo movie looks terrible for example and will most likely be the first Star Wars film I don't see in the theater. Maybe pull back a little guys as the world is getting sick of Star Wars.

6)The Big Sick- This is everything I love about films. A romantic comedy that thinks outside the box and becomes a real winner as a result. Kamil Nanajani wrote and stars here about an Uber driver who finds love with a white girl, even though his parents want a arranged marriage. When he breaks it off, she is devastated and in the process of getting through this, she gets real sick and falls into a coma. When he comes to visit, he meets her parents and realizes he made a huge mistake. The rest of the film is him and his ex-girl friends parents coming to terms with love, death and mistakes. Best of all, this is a true story about how Kamil met his wife in real life. Don't miss this great film which better be up for best picture.

5)Spiderman- This movie should have sucked. It was the third reboot in a decades and the last two were just awful. But, when Marvel got involved again, they knocked it out of the park with this tale of high school Peter Parker (which is really what the character is) fighting the Vulture, played expertly by Michael Keaton. This movie is funny, sharp and fits right into the Marvel universe. We will see him again in Infinity Wars later this year which will probably be the greatest film ever made.

4)Guardians of the Galaxy 2- Another film that any other year may have hit the top spot. This was a winner in which the break out star was David Batista's Drax who was probably the funniest person in all of cinema last year. Considering how bad the comedies were this year that is not a high bar. Baby Groot got a lot of love, but Rocket was also a huge part of the movie as was Michael Rooker and Nebula who really added a lot of depth to what could have been a silly movie. And no film with Kurt Russel can ever really suck. This film was awesome and they too will be seen again in Infinity Wars, giving Thor a ride home apparently according to the previews.

3)IT- This was a really scary horror film that I will watching again real soon. Pennywise was terrifying and the cast, which had to measure up to the excellent ABC miniseries,  knocked it out of the park. Finn Wolfhard did double duty as both Richie and Stranger Things this year as he was the go to kid for 80's retro films and Sophia Lillis was a breakout star here. Expect to see her in many more things, like Millie Bobby Brown as 11 is now too. The first attempt at a screenplay died and thank god because this was way better than what I heard they wanted to do like change the names of everyone for no apparent reason. Watch this with the lights on.

2)Wonder Woman- The only good film from DC so far was awesome. Gal Gadot shines as the title character in such strong ways I am pissed she isn't up for best actress anywhere. Christ, best picture should be given to this anti war film but it won't because that gay drama about underage homosexuality is still up for awards, which strikes me as odd in the days of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein. They do know this kind of stuff is unacceptable now right? I could stare at her reading the phone book and be happy

1)Thor:Ragnarock- This film Ragnarocked. I knew it would as I am a huge fan of the director who I still felt got robbed of awards last year for the funny, charming Hunt for The Wilderpeople. By and far, this and Guardians were the two funniest movies of the year. Considering neither was actually one, that means comedies this year sucked and they did as you will see on my worst of lost coming soon. Hulk's face plant was hilarious and I am still laughing about it. From Jeff Goldblum as the Grandmaster to Loki having to team up with Thor, this film was non stop action and hilarity. I cannot wait to watch it again and again.

Runner ups- The Shape of Water, The Belko Experiment, Hitman's Bodyguard, The Foreigner, Logan, Kong: Skull Island, Dunkirk, Kingsman 2, Blade Runner 2049.

DONALD TRUMP IS SUCH A DOUCHEBAG THE WORLD MAY END BECAUSE OF HIM!

I warned people that if Trump became president, the world would most likely end. That prediction appears to be coming true in spades. Even worse, the Republican party is aiding and abetting him in true treasonous form. Our democracy is on the ropes and a third of this country is applauding it. What the fuck is going on anymore?

The fact that traffic to this website has dwindled drastically tells me that no one cares anymore. I've told you what would happen for almost eight years now. It is the reason I write this as I was correct that mankind is too far gone to do anything about it. I also did it to see if one person can make a difference. The answer sadly is no. And it's getting worse. Stupidity is celebrated. Fame is the end game over substance. And because we cannot look at anything rationally anymore, our entire civilization is about to go poof.

Trump's shithole statement just threw cold water over any deal that could have been made with the democrats. As a result, there is a 75% chance of a government shutdown. Trump has been screaming about building the border wall which Democrats are never going to go for. DACA has been held up by the Freedom Caucus who want no part of it. They cannot pass a bill without democratic help and instead of negotiating, a factor that somehow our current president is WAY worse than Obama (a huge feat as until now, he was one of the worst presidents when it came to deals), he has stalled talks completely. Trump really is a moron as I have never seen anyone this bad at making deals, the ONE fucking thing he is supposed to be good at it and isn't.

Trump epitomizes the modern rich: stupid beyond words. They got their money not through skill or hard work but by luck or inheritance. As a result, they lost huge sums of money but made windfalls to cover those loses with other factors that went their way. Anyone else without unlimited funds would have lost it all years ago. Trump declared bankruptcy six times to avoid that which would have felled a poorer person. He isn't good at anything. He just has a lot of money helped by a system designed to keep him rich and the rest of us poor.

When the government does shut down, most people are going to blame him and the Republicans according to several polls and they should as they are to blame here. There is a bipartisan bill that would pass the House and Senate, but Trump and the GOP leadership don't want to do that. So let's be clear, the only reason the government shuts down is because Trump, Ryan and McConnell are assholes not because the Democrats are dragging their feet. And that is going to sink them even further in November.

That is if we even get to November. Chances are high we go to war with North Korea long before that. After Hawaii got the scare of their of their lives thinking they had minutes to live, Japan just did the exact same thing. So either we have systems world wide to warn us of an incoming attack that are alarming way too easy to activate or this is done on purpose for nefarious reasons. I have a harder time trying to get out of Amazon Prime. Unlike America though, the Japanese went about their business as usual instead of panicking like the US did. The reason? They said why panic as they had no idea where to go and they would probably die soon anyway. Japanese people are weird in this but I like that attitude. I still think there are a few people who, thinking they were going to die, professed their love to another or told their boss to fuck off or slept with you roommate in what you thought would be your first and last gay encounter only to realize it was a mistake.

There is also another possibility that these tests are being done ON PURPOSE. There are psychological tests that could be given to us to see how we would react in the face of death. In that context, Japan passed while we acted like drunken idiots. Figures. The more likely explanation though is human stupidity. The election of Donald Trump proved there is no invisible hand fixing elections (unless the Russian count) and there is no Illuminati running the world. No way would they let that happen as it has destabilized a world they need to live on too.

We know that 46,000 troops went somewhere, most likley South Korea or Japan. We know that there are several aircraft carriers and at least one nuclear powered sub off the coast. We know they have been training several groups for things like nuclear disarmament plans against them, assassinations of Kim Jun Un, and the effect of drone strikes on their infrastructure. On the flip side, we know North Korea is building another nuke test site after their last one collapsed killing hundreds. And we know that a test flight last year went rogue and wiped out one of their cities. If that happens and Japan gets hit, it is game over.

We are headed for a collusion course with North Korea the same as the looming government shutdown. If we had a president with more than a single IQ digit, I would feel a lot better about our future. But because we have pudding heads running the government now, our time appears to be coming to and end.

You could have stopped all of this America. But you didn't. And now we all have to pay the price. We get what we deserve. We are all to blame for what will almost certainly be the end of the world. We'll see how much longer I keep doing this as, to be honest, it is barely worth it. I make no money off of this and few are reading this anymore. So if I disappear one day, know I did what I could but I have better things to do than this. Wise up America. Open a fucking book once in a while.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: DONALD TRUMP! AGAIN AND AGAIN!

Should be back to regular posting this week which is just in time to watch Republicans sink fast. Every stat, poll and pundit says there is no chance the Democrats don't take the House next year and that isn't considering there is a strong chance the Supreme Court is going to overrule gerrymandering laws, as a NC federal court just did, and action that could gift democrats three seats in that state alone with no effort. All of that would have been bad enough, but after Orange Hitler went full on racist behind closed doors, all hell broke loose. The clock is ticking on the Trump presidency. Let us see those runner ups.

10)H&M- The level of ignorance in corporate america today is truly stunning. In what can only be described as tone deaf to the nth degree, this company thought in their infinite wisdom that making t-shirt with pithy comments on them would be cute, while somehow not noticing how fucking racist the ad campaign and clothing line were. In a photo shoot, one that would have required dozens to oversee this and not see a problem, decided that putting a little black kid in a green hoodie with the words "smartest monkey in the jungle," was not going to be a problem. They were of course, very, very wrong. People complained to high heaven and in South Africa, were anti-white sentiment is growing, their stores were vandalized. Those clothes are now pulled which makes me think that somewhere in Africa soon, some poor child is going to be wearing these when get donated and that is not any better. Wise up America.

9)Bella Thorne- Talk about spoiled white privilege. The red headed actress got herself in all sorts of hot water when she tweeted about how pissed she was she couldn't get to her boyfriend's concert because of mud slides. Twitter was quick to remind her that people died in that mudslide and she should show some respect. At least she acknowledged her mistake unlike some, the president hack cough, but still our youth have to realize the world does not revolve around them and them alone.

8)Anthony Fontana- Another asshole who doesn't realize the world has changed. This Louisiana superintendent was confronted by a teacher during a open hearing as to why it was okay he got a huge raise while the teachers have gotten nothing for years. He responded by having her arrested. All of this was caught on camera of course and now someone is getting death threats. There are cameras everywhere people. Act accordingly.

7)Logan Paul- I hate internet stars. They are almost always loud, obnoxious losers with no filter and no talent. That being said, I was willing to give this guy a little slack for his tasteless video of finding a dead body in the suicide forest in Japan and then snickering about it. Then my Japanese fiancee showed me some other videos from her homeland and nope this guy is an asshole. I watched him act disgracefully at a temple, throw things at people that, had he done these same things here would have resulted in anywhere from a beating to getting shot, and other obnoxious actions. She begged me to put him on this list and I agree. He somehow makes around twelve million dollars a year doing this. Young people apparently have no sense of humor because this shit is rancid.

6)H.R. McMaster- Why is it that every general we get introduced to over the last few decades isn't fit to run a fast food joint let alone the most powerful military on Earth? This is what happens when you promote because of connections and not talent. People like McArthur and Patton would never have made the grade today and as a result we get idiots like Petreaus, Powell and McCrystal. Joining that list is this ass who for some inane reason is the brain power pushing for the "bloody nose" strategy in attacking North Korea, in which we launch some sort of token attack, showing we mean business. This scenario will almost certainly lead to a nuclear war and this ass, who allegedly studied Vietnam and all it's errors, is making the exact same mistake. Unbelievable!

5)#MeToo- This movement is really burning out fast. There was another spate of accusations this week and they got more and more bizarre as they went on. Paul Haggis' accusers got a slap to their face when his ex-wife defended him against several of the accusations, saying it was impossible for them to have happened, and there is solid proof of it, especially his back surgery that laid him out for weeks when some of these attacks allegedly happened. Eliza Dushku says she was molested on the set of True Lies and her story rings true. But then we whiplash back to accusations against James Franco, none of which I believe or in some cases, care. Two women were "distraught" he asked them to get naked on the set of the movie he was directing and was pissed when they wouldn't. Oh the horror. Acting sometimes requires nudity. Get used to it or find another job and no that is not sexual harassment. Aziz Ansari was even more distressing because the story against him seems like a guy trying to get laid and the woman not sure she wants to. However, she never once SAID no, instead, saying she gave "lots of nonverbal cues that she was not interested." Unless you say NO, guys are going to keep going. In no universe is thinking no the same as saying it. And can we leave Woody Allen out of this please? He had one, ONE accusations against him, made by his ex-lover days after he left her for her step daughter. Yeah, no motive to lie there. Can we get back to evidence before we condemn someone to death please?

4)Hawaii- If you were in Hawaii yesterday, there was probably a run on clean underwear after some idiot hit the wrong button and told the entire island that a nuclear missile was on the way and they should kiss their ass goodbye. Panic ensued for 38 MINUTES where children were thrown into storm drains, stores were emptied of goods and, most likley, an awkward exchange between roommates who decided to fuck as the world was about to end. The fact this went on for 38 minutes before anyone realized it is even worse than the initial mistake.

3)Joe Arpaio- In what can only be described as a gift for democrats, disgraced ex-sheriff and convicted felon (now pardoned) has decided to run for the Senate seat. Roy Moore part 2 anyone. This act has sent Bannon acolyte Kelly Ward to the bottom of the polls and she tried to distance herself from Bannon  and Arpaio while also saying she loves Trump, which doesn't really work as Trump and Arpaio are best buds. Now it comes down between McSally and Arpaio and, as a result, a hard right primary that may fatally damage whoever wins. Arizona is looking more and more likley to go blue, especially if Arpaio wins the primary, this will send Hispanic votes rallying against him, like black people did in Alabama. If McSally wins, she may be too heavily damaged to win the moderate votes she needs. Good luck Arizona. You are going to need it.

2)Republicans- What a spineless bunch of butt lickers these guys have turned into. Several more house seats opened after two California Republicans, Issa and Royce, saw they had zero chance of winning reelection and bolted for the hills instead. Trey Gowdy stepped down from the ethics chair, signaling that Trump may be in more trouble than we think. The crowning achievement was bending themselves into a pretzel to either deny or obfuscate the president's racist statements during a meeting. Cotton and another Senator said they never heard the president call Africa a "shithole," meaning they are both deaf and should get fitted for a hearing aid because many others there confirm he said just that. They are going to get walloped later this year at this rate.

1)Trump- This week, he proved he is a racist. After calling Africa a "shithole," he then asked we why we don't have more people coming to America from places like Norway. So to recap, he asked why are there so many brown and black people coming here and not enough white people? Yeah that is not racist at all. Besides, no one from Norway comes here willingly because it is way better to live there than here. They have free health care, six weeks vacation and make twice as as much as the average person here. Yeah, they will be lining up to halve their salary and benefits? The denial he said was laughable as he definitely said this. This of course set up it's own shitstorm as Africa demanded an apology and Haitian Americans like Congresswoman Mia Love called him out over his racist comments. Pundits bent over backwards to clarify the statements but they went nowhere fast. This was Hillary's deplorable comment all over again. Africa is indeed a shit hole. But the people aren't. I dated a girl from Haiti back in college and have known several black immigrants from places like Ethiopia and Somalia over the years and the one thing they all had in common was a drive to work real hard. Lazy is not in their vocabulary. Who doesn't want people like that here? Orange Hitler apparently who wants everyone to be a lot more Aryan. Who does that remind you of? Trump is a monster who thankfully seems to be on borrowed time. Democrats are poised to take back the House and every poll shows Trump losing in 2020 to literally everyone, including Oprah. His days may be even further numbered when Mueller comes out with what will almost certainly be damning evidence against him. So enjoy it while you can Trump because you are indeed douchebag of the week.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: JEFF SESSIONS!

Sorry for the spotty columns but I am surprisingly busy at a time where normally I have nothing to do. Trump is clearly losing his marbles and a new book this week confirms it as does a leading expert of dementia who says she went to the White House to tell them exactly that. Our president appears to be no longer in full control of his faculties and that still didn't get him the top spot as Jeff Sessions appears to be swirling the drain by literally pissing off just about everyone regardless of party. That takes talent. Let's see those runner ups.

10)Mother Nature- Fuck it is cold. I was supposed to go to Boston this weekend but it was too freaking freezing to even contemplate it. The temperature right now is around 15 below zero and it's only one o'clock. Tonight the temperatures are going to drop to around thirty below. It is going to be colder in some places on Earth than on Mars tonight. BRRRRRRR! Oh and this is explained by climate change as weather patterns are being disrupted causing the jet stream to drop like this so if someone says some pithy comment about global warming, smack them up with science and perhaps a slap to the face.

9)Cleveland Browns- Congrats to the Browns for being only the second team in history to not win one game against anyone. Way to go. Even worse, the last game was a worthless one for their opponents, the Steelers, so they sat out all of their major players for the day and they still lost. It is pretty sad if you can't win against a B team with no reason to fight. Even more stunning is their coach, with a combined two season record of one win and 31 loses, still has his job. Why?

8)Stock Market- The Dow has been soaring lately. It is also way overdue for a correction, one that will most likley be at least thirty percent and chances are good it will happen this year. All signs point to a slow down such as terrible job numbers last month that both the press and White House are jumping up an down about which strikes me as odd. We only gained officially around 150,000 but not much worse than a year ago. However as that number overestimates job growth by around 120,000, most likley only thirty thousand jobs were actually created and all signs point to even further slowing as has been happening since 2014. When the bottom falls out, Trump, who has been taking credit for an economy he had nothing to do with, will get a face plant when it all goes south.

7)Star Wars: The Last Jedi- I haven't seen this movie yet which probably explains why it isn't do so well. It also doesn't help that the target audience are people like my eight year old nephew and he didn't care for it. I can't say what the problem is until I see it later this week, but movie going is slowing down in general for two major reasons. One, the films that came out this year were overwhelmingly terrible and people are going less, myself included. And two, movies are so expensive and terrible, it is far cheaper to stay home and watch it on Netflix of cable. Considering credit card use went way up this year says people are tapped out again and that means a crash is coming. Putting out a Star Wars movie every year is also probably not a wise business decision either. Next year gives us the troubled Han Solo movie. I don't think it will do that well is current trends continue.

6)#Metoo- We are getting dangerously close to a point where men and women cannot work together anymore. This week came unsubstantiated claims against Ben Vereen and Paul Haggis. Vareen has admitted he acted badly (can no man keep it in his pants anymore?) while Haggis seems unknown, especially as the main accuser appears to be a blackmailer. Three others have come forward but what they are suggesting, rape and the like, could be true or it could be attention seekers.My problems now is why didn't this come out months ago. Are newspapers just sitting on stories waiting for one to break away from the others or are women coming forward with dollar signs in their eyes? It is getting to a point where women are going to be treated way different at work from men and their careers will suffer for it.

5)Iran- The country erupted in anger this week, setting up mass demonstrations in a place where that is normally forbidden. The biggest crowds since 2009, they chanted things like "death to the Ayatollah," a welcome refrain from death to America. Police stations were attacked as well. This is far different than 2009 as that had to do with an election dispute while this is about economics. People are mad about lack of jobs and high inflation. Sounds like both Iranian citizens and US citizens agree that their governments suck.

4)Republicans- These losers are trying to kill this country. There has been a concerted effort to diminish the news, the FBI and everyone in this country not a Republican. They have gone after everyone in law enforcement who isn't a Trump butt kisser. They have attacked Mueller as corrupt and out of his depth. They say Trump is a genius. None of that is true. What is true is that anyone voting for these assholes should be shot. Traitor comes to mind as a word.

3)Steve Bannon- Sloppy Steve got run over this week when all the power he construed came crashing down. The book Fire and Fury along with an interview in the Guardian, showed Bannon throwing serious shade at the President. As a result, his major backer, the Mercers, pulled all their funding and rumor is he is going to be fired from Breitbart. So much for running for President in 2020. You'll be lucky to get a job at Barnes and Noble.

2)Trump- What an ass he was this week. The book that came out scorched him badly and instead of damage control he all but guaranteed it to be a huge hit by screaming about it like a two year old. Ironically, that is the common theme of the book where everyone who meets the president thinks he acts like a child. His tweets have become even more deranged lately and many in the expert fields say Trump is showing clear signs of dementia, a fact I concur with. Check out old videos of Trump and he comes across far smarter than now. There is something wrong with the man who not only has access to nuclear weapons but an insane desire to use them. If we don't get rid of this man soon, we may all perish.

1)Jeff Sessions- Nobody was as stupid and unaware as the rabid Keebler elf found this week when he managed to piss off just about everyone, Republican and Democrat alike. The Freedom Caucus wants him gone so they can get a lackey in there to fire Mueller and demanded that this week. Vulnerable politicians in pro pot states lost their minds when dumbass rescinded an Obama era law that prevented federal prosecutors from going after legal weed. The damage was immediate. Polls showed that now 80% want Sessions fired for this. Senator Cory Gardner from Colorado told Sessions he will holdup all Justice Nominees until he backs off and the federal prosecutor of the same state told Sessions to pound sand. He got sued by several states and a twelve year old girl who has NO seizures since being prescribed weed. Good luck with that. Part of me wants him gone and the other part wants him to stay so Mueller doesn't get fired causing the next revolution to begin, which it will. This guy, like almost all of Trump's picks so far, have been horrendous but I have to say he has been the worst at it, barely edging out Betsy Devos. Ryan Zinke or whatever ass will soon run the EPA. Congratulations Jeff Sessions, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

Columns will be spotty again this week. I will be back by Wednesday or Thursday to explain what giant fuck up will happen with Trump at the helm. Impeachment better happen soon because we are not going to last three more years.