If you are interested in entertainment, 2016 is going to be a fantastic year. We have Batman Vs Superman, Deadpool, Captain America: Civil War, X-men: Apocalypse, Now You See Me 2, The Secret Life of Pets, Ghostbusters, Star Trek Beyond, Suicide Squad, Dr. Strange, Jack Reacher 2, Fantastic Beasts, Rouge One, and that's just the ones I am aware of.
There are certain to be others that will blow me away, especially low budget ones that fly under the radar until word of mouth catches up. Ex Machina was one such rare treat this year and It Follows to a lesser extent as that one bordered on dull sometimes with an ending I figured out five minutes into the film. But it was creepy. I want a scary horror film for once, something I don't think I've seen in a theater since The Descent. Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be any on the horizon so my comic book geek self will have to deal with the glut of superhero movies that all sound or look good.
Deadpool, Dr. Strange and Captain America have me giddy as I am a Marvel fan over DC. However, Suicide Squad looks great and say what you want, I really like Ben Affleck and am curious to see how he does with Batman. He's a better actor than most people give him credit for.
TV will continue to rule/suck depending on what is on. Heroes reborn bit the dust bin again this past year and has me worried about the upcoming X-files return, another series which died a painful death in it's final, really awful last season. At least Scully and Mulder are back which is the only reason I am going to give a chance to this show written by a hack, Chris Carter, who hasn't had even a smidgen of success with any other show since. The final episode of the X-Files was one of the worst series enders ever. Hard to bounce back from that, but I will see, with hopes so low a guy laying on a skateboard couldn't limbo under it.
Legends of Tomorrow can't get here fast enough. This show is going to rock and I am so hoping for a second season so Constantine may join. Angel From Hell shows promise. Lucifer will piss of the religious so it has that going for it. American Crime Story lets America relive the OJ Simpson trial. Game of Thrones and Deadliest Catch will be back soon. Preacher looks awesome. Luke Cage, who already is in the awesome Jessica Jones, returns. Westworld is back.
2016 for entertainment looks great. Too bad the rest of the world won't be.
Monday, December 28, 2015
Sunday, December 27, 2015
DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK:MATT BEVIN!
This is what happens when you don't vote. This week, not one, but two GOP Governors got into some hot water with their actions that seriously question their competency. As bad as Democrats are, and they do indeed suck hard, they do not constantly keep doing things that fuck over the poorest people in our society while cheering on others to revel in their suffering. What is wrong with this country? Let's see those runner ups.
10)Donkey Cartel- The worst rap named person ever died this week after an ill advised shooting at a NC mall involving a fight between gang rivals, which of course had to include guns because America is filled with pussies who can't fight without them. His real name was Daquan Antonio Westbrook, 18, and was a failed rapper who had already been in and out of prison several times before dying stupidly. His rap album has a picture of him in an orange jumpsuit flashing gang signs. Clever. An off duty policeman killed him when this idiot starting firing into crowds of people during the Holiday rush. Past offenses for Donkey induced shooting a 12 year old in the leg and a recent charge of assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill. Yet somehow, this ass is free to walk the streets so some other innocent guy has to sit there for a pot charge. This is why the War on Drugs is moronic but I am glad this fuckwad is dead, hopefully before having a slew of bastard kids.
9)Jim Webb- After getting 0% of the Democratic vote, this loon has peeked back up to insult Hillary Clinton and threaten an independent bid. This is fine with me because his views mirror closer to the right side and will siphon more votes from the GOP contender than the left. Why can some people never go away?
8)Peyton Manning- While it is still too early to throw stones at the quarterback great, past experiences suggest there may be something here. Allegations about him using human growth hormone have surfaced along with a bunch of other athletes including Mike Tyson. Denials mean nothing now since Bill Cosby, Josh Duggar, Jared Fogel and one nut wonder, Lance Armstrong have all tainted that by lying through their teeth until it came clear that they had indeed done what they were accused of. There may be nothing here, but unfortunately, chances are they all cheated which makes them worse than Brady and the Patriots, not that many of you out there will see that and still invent awful memes about Deflategate.
7)Madonna- In what can only be described as the worst parenting skill ever, Madonna actually sued her 15 year old son so he would come home and spend the holidays with her, rather than her ex Guy Ritchie in the UK. He's 15 not three, Madonna. He has free will and if he doesn't want to spend Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever weird ritual you celebrate in December, he doesn't have to. Suing him seems a sure fire way to never see him again. Even after a judge ruled he had to return, Ritchie and his son said "make me," which is unlikely to get anyone to extradite over this. This woman is deranged.
6)Steve Harvey- I love Steve Harvey. I think he is funny, quick witted and one of the best hosts of Family Feud ever. However, reading is not his strong suit as demonstrated by his disastrous one week hosting of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? in which he mangled words so badly it merited a riotous SNL sketch. This time, he may have misread a cure card or the card was misprinted, but either way, Harvey announced the WRONG winner at the Miss Universe Pageant which is pretty bad as you now have to ruin some poor girl's life when you say Oops! I still love you Harvey but there are some ruthless memes out there that I will have to share because of this.
5)Lakeisha Holloway- This 24 year old homeless woman decided she wanted a roof over her head for the rest of her life and thought the best way to do that was run a bunch of people over her car, killing one and injuring almost 40 others. Oh, and she had her three year old in the back that she will now never see again. Cops have ruled out terrorism, but not mental illness, which seems rather cut and dried. Tell me again how keeping guns out of the hands of lunatics will keep us safe?
4)Chipotle- Anyone eating here is literally taking their lives in their own hands. Another E-coli outbreak, this time down south, has hobbled more people. It also turns out that this has been going on for some time with past outbreaks over the years sickening over a thousand people now. How are they still in business? What idiot eats food from this place? Go to Q'Doba for some of the best tacos I have ever had and e-coli free. This business needs to go bye byes.
3)Oberlin College Students- You have officially crossed the Rubicon if I can no longer distinguish between satire and reality. This story was it. In it, people of all races were incensed over food or lack thereof at Oberlin college dining halls. Not that the food was bad, as it usually is, but that it was prepared in ways that were "culturally unacceptable." The Japanese bitched about the sushi. The Vietnamese complained about how their Bahn Mi sandwich was made, unaware of the irony that this was being served at all, let alone correctly. Black people complained about the lack of fried chicken, claiming it was racist not to have that on the menu. My favorite was the Chinese whining about the General Tso's chicken being culturally hurtful as they used the wrong sauce, somehow oblivious to the fact that that dish is American born. The younger generation is too stupid to live. If this is our future, I'd like to get off this ride sooner than later.
2)Susanne Martinez- The Governor of NM was recently caught being drunk in public while admonishing the police who came to some party at a posh hotel where her guests were being louder than she was, a true feat, while doing douchebag things like throw bottles from the balcony down below where people were walking. The whole thing was also caught on audio tape. She repeatedly demanded to know who filed the complaint against her, which the police wisely said no to. Right after this, Republican Sec. of State Dianna Duran was being booked for embezzlement to fund a gambling addiction. Because of this, and other allegations of this witch using her political clout to get what she wants, at least three FBI probes are being investigated against her. This once rising star was now fallen to Earth, like most GOP hopefuls.
1)Matt Bevin- No one was worse than this asshole, Teatard schmuck who is now Governor of Kentucky because democrats didn't vote and just fucked a sizable portion of that state's population right in the ass. First, he reversed his predecessor's ruling and now 140,000 former felons cannot vote, a fact that should be unconstitutional. Once you've served your time, you should be allowed to vote. Period. Then he removed clerks names from marriage licenses so douchebags like Kim Davis can stop bitching 24/7 about how God hates gays. He has also said he will repeal Medicaid expansion for the state, which would put millions of people back on the street with no access to health care, even though seven in ten residents there want and/or need it. Once again, who cares about the public when big business is all that matters. So way to go Kentucky voters for putting this dick into office. Remember that come 2016. Congratulations Matt Bevin you are indeed douchebag of the week.
This will be the last douchebag column for 2015. Read my year end round up of the worst of the year this Thursday. Hope everyone had a good holiday. The above idiots sure didn't.
10)Donkey Cartel- The worst rap named person ever died this week after an ill advised shooting at a NC mall involving a fight between gang rivals, which of course had to include guns because America is filled with pussies who can't fight without them. His real name was Daquan Antonio Westbrook, 18, and was a failed rapper who had already been in and out of prison several times before dying stupidly. His rap album has a picture of him in an orange jumpsuit flashing gang signs. Clever. An off duty policeman killed him when this idiot starting firing into crowds of people during the Holiday rush. Past offenses for Donkey induced shooting a 12 year old in the leg and a recent charge of assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill. Yet somehow, this ass is free to walk the streets so some other innocent guy has to sit there for a pot charge. This is why the War on Drugs is moronic but I am glad this fuckwad is dead, hopefully before having a slew of bastard kids.
9)Jim Webb- After getting 0% of the Democratic vote, this loon has peeked back up to insult Hillary Clinton and threaten an independent bid. This is fine with me because his views mirror closer to the right side and will siphon more votes from the GOP contender than the left. Why can some people never go away?
8)Peyton Manning- While it is still too early to throw stones at the quarterback great, past experiences suggest there may be something here. Allegations about him using human growth hormone have surfaced along with a bunch of other athletes including Mike Tyson. Denials mean nothing now since Bill Cosby, Josh Duggar, Jared Fogel and one nut wonder, Lance Armstrong have all tainted that by lying through their teeth until it came clear that they had indeed done what they were accused of. There may be nothing here, but unfortunately, chances are they all cheated which makes them worse than Brady and the Patriots, not that many of you out there will see that and still invent awful memes about Deflategate.
7)Madonna- In what can only be described as the worst parenting skill ever, Madonna actually sued her 15 year old son so he would come home and spend the holidays with her, rather than her ex Guy Ritchie in the UK. He's 15 not three, Madonna. He has free will and if he doesn't want to spend Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever weird ritual you celebrate in December, he doesn't have to. Suing him seems a sure fire way to never see him again. Even after a judge ruled he had to return, Ritchie and his son said "make me," which is unlikely to get anyone to extradite over this. This woman is deranged.
6)Steve Harvey- I love Steve Harvey. I think he is funny, quick witted and one of the best hosts of Family Feud ever. However, reading is not his strong suit as demonstrated by his disastrous one week hosting of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? in which he mangled words so badly it merited a riotous SNL sketch. This time, he may have misread a cure card or the card was misprinted, but either way, Harvey announced the WRONG winner at the Miss Universe Pageant which is pretty bad as you now have to ruin some poor girl's life when you say Oops! I still love you Harvey but there are some ruthless memes out there that I will have to share because of this.
5)Lakeisha Holloway- This 24 year old homeless woman decided she wanted a roof over her head for the rest of her life and thought the best way to do that was run a bunch of people over her car, killing one and injuring almost 40 others. Oh, and she had her three year old in the back that she will now never see again. Cops have ruled out terrorism, but not mental illness, which seems rather cut and dried. Tell me again how keeping guns out of the hands of lunatics will keep us safe?
4)Chipotle- Anyone eating here is literally taking their lives in their own hands. Another E-coli outbreak, this time down south, has hobbled more people. It also turns out that this has been going on for some time with past outbreaks over the years sickening over a thousand people now. How are they still in business? What idiot eats food from this place? Go to Q'Doba for some of the best tacos I have ever had and e-coli free. This business needs to go bye byes.
3)Oberlin College Students- You have officially crossed the Rubicon if I can no longer distinguish between satire and reality. This story was it. In it, people of all races were incensed over food or lack thereof at Oberlin college dining halls. Not that the food was bad, as it usually is, but that it was prepared in ways that were "culturally unacceptable." The Japanese bitched about the sushi. The Vietnamese complained about how their Bahn Mi sandwich was made, unaware of the irony that this was being served at all, let alone correctly. Black people complained about the lack of fried chicken, claiming it was racist not to have that on the menu. My favorite was the Chinese whining about the General Tso's chicken being culturally hurtful as they used the wrong sauce, somehow oblivious to the fact that that dish is American born. The younger generation is too stupid to live. If this is our future, I'd like to get off this ride sooner than later.
2)Susanne Martinez- The Governor of NM was recently caught being drunk in public while admonishing the police who came to some party at a posh hotel where her guests were being louder than she was, a true feat, while doing douchebag things like throw bottles from the balcony down below where people were walking. The whole thing was also caught on audio tape. She repeatedly demanded to know who filed the complaint against her, which the police wisely said no to. Right after this, Republican Sec. of State Dianna Duran was being booked for embezzlement to fund a gambling addiction. Because of this, and other allegations of this witch using her political clout to get what she wants, at least three FBI probes are being investigated against her. This once rising star was now fallen to Earth, like most GOP hopefuls.
1)Matt Bevin- No one was worse than this asshole, Teatard schmuck who is now Governor of Kentucky because democrats didn't vote and just fucked a sizable portion of that state's population right in the ass. First, he reversed his predecessor's ruling and now 140,000 former felons cannot vote, a fact that should be unconstitutional. Once you've served your time, you should be allowed to vote. Period. Then he removed clerks names from marriage licenses so douchebags like Kim Davis can stop bitching 24/7 about how God hates gays. He has also said he will repeal Medicaid expansion for the state, which would put millions of people back on the street with no access to health care, even though seven in ten residents there want and/or need it. Once again, who cares about the public when big business is all that matters. So way to go Kentucky voters for putting this dick into office. Remember that come 2016. Congratulations Matt Bevin you are indeed douchebag of the week.
This will be the last douchebag column for 2015. Read my year end round up of the worst of the year this Thursday. Hope everyone had a good holiday. The above idiots sure didn't.
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
THE ANNUAL WARMONGER SINGALONG: HELLO AND GOODBYE!
To the tune of Hello by Adele, not that 99% of you didn't already figure that out.
Hello, it's me,
I'm lost inside a world of pure insanity.
Trump's in the lead,
God, why?
Cause the rest of these idiots running can really make you cry.
Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dehydrating cause water ain't where it used to be.
But now,
the GOP,
wants us all to believe climate change is one giant fantasy.
There's a problem, with us,
and millions of idiots.
Hello, from the left side.
I must have told you a thousand times,
that your religious nonsense,
has no business on
political discourse
and I hate your guts.
Hello, from the left side.
The right hates gays far and wide,
and abortion,
is a personal choice,
that is none of yours, so butt out
and I hate your guts evermore.
Hello, it's the right,
I am so sick of PC pussies that I really want to fight.
I hope
they go to hell,
where they get served donkey ass and pig balls till their stomach swells.
It's no secret,
That all of us are running out of time.
Hello, from the right side
Hillary's a demon with a huge behind,
She is awful,
and lies all the time,
and we will do whatever we can
to make her lose.
Hello, from the right side,
Let me scream about Benghazi for the millionth time.
And Obamacare,
let's not forget that
and repeal it again,
as we hate it's guts evermore.
Oh, Evermore
Oh, Evermore
Oh, Evermore
Hello, from the normal side,
you guys are crazy left and right wise,
How did we
get to be this
sad and stupid,
and pathetic all at the same time.
Hello from the sane side,
stop acting like children playing in high tide
you'll kill us all,
trying to save your sorry hides,
as we all drown
because of you, goodbye.
Hello, it's me,
I'm lost inside a world of pure insanity.
Trump's in the lead,
God, why?
Cause the rest of these idiots running can really make you cry.
Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dehydrating cause water ain't where it used to be.
But now,
the GOP,
wants us all to believe climate change is one giant fantasy.
There's a problem, with us,
and millions of idiots.
Hello, from the left side.
I must have told you a thousand times,
that your religious nonsense,
has no business on
political discourse
and I hate your guts.
Hello, from the left side.
The right hates gays far and wide,
and abortion,
is a personal choice,
that is none of yours, so butt out
and I hate your guts evermore.
Hello, it's the right,
I am so sick of PC pussies that I really want to fight.
I hope
they go to hell,
where they get served donkey ass and pig balls till their stomach swells.
It's no secret,
That all of us are running out of time.
Hello, from the right side
Hillary's a demon with a huge behind,
She is awful,
and lies all the time,
and we will do whatever we can
to make her lose.
Hello, from the right side,
Let me scream about Benghazi for the millionth time.
And Obamacare,
let's not forget that
and repeal it again,
as we hate it's guts evermore.
Oh, Evermore
Oh, Evermore
Oh, Evermore
Hello, from the normal side,
you guys are crazy left and right wise,
How did we
get to be this
sad and stupid,
and pathetic all at the same time.
Hello from the sane side,
stop acting like children playing in high tide
you'll kill us all,
trying to save your sorry hides,
as we all drown
because of you, goodbye.
Monday, December 21, 2015
BEST AND WORST TV OF 2015
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. In TV's defense, unlike feature films, there was a lot to like about this past season. Films not so much as there were a few that rocked, a lot that were okay and even more that sucked moose balls. But scripted TV is at record highs with over 400 programs to choose from across a plethora of formats. It is quite impossible to watch them all so if your favorite is not on here, chances are I didn't watch it because I have to sleep at some point. That is not to say there were not some stinkers this year as well, which did indeed stink like fish left out on a hot day. Let's see what I thought swam and what sank like a stone.
BEST OF TV 2015
10)Family Guy- A spectacular season for the aging show, especially one of the latest episode which had Peter accidentally shooting Cleveland's son, resulting on claims of racism by angry mobs, as well as Cleveland, toward Peter who is definitely not racist. The best part is when Cleveland takes responsibility for shooting his own son, resulting in the press and mob dispersing quickly as black on black crime is "not news." That's funny. And, unfortunately, true.
9)Fargo- Unlike True Detective (which we will see later on the next part), Fargo's second season was a riot filled with great performances from people like Bookem Woodbine, fat Matt Damon look alike, Jesse Plemons and the always awesome, Jeffrey Donovan. Taking place in 1979, we see young Molly, the cop from the first season now a nine year old girl, and her father who is a cop investigating a mob showdown leading to a bloody finale. A chance death caused by two locals start a mob war that kills almost everyone involved. The fact it was very funny too tells you how much a line they had to walk and succeded.
8)Inside Amy Schumer- This girl had a great year with a hit movie, Trainwreck, a comedy special on HBO, and this show which was the best sketch comedy show of the year (sorry SNL but your star is fading). The "too old to fuck" sketch with Tina Fey and Julie Louis Dreyfus was fantastic as was the half hour spoof of 12 Angry Men where they debated whether Amy was hot enough for TV which won them some awards, which they should have. This woman is not only hot, she's on fire. I look forward to more from her.
7)John Oliver- No fake news show made me laugh harder or think more than Oliver's show, Last Week Tonight. It exposed every hypocrisy out there, spending a lot of time on FIFA, which proved to be one of the most corrupt organizations on Earth. Oliver as the British outsider is pitch perfect in his outrage and his key phrase, "I swear that this is true," never fails to amaze that it is indeed true and almost always shockingly unbelievable. The Daily Show missed out big losing Oliver because while Trevor Noah has done a great job taking over for Jon Steward, Oliver was the heir apparent.
6)Marvel Agent's of Shield- I was on of the few who actually liked this first season and didn't complain like a little girl about the lack of super powers on the show. Well, that is no longer a thing as there are several character that DO have super powers now, the show's writing is still as sharp as ever, and damn if they don't know how to end a season or a midpoint. Last season saw Gemma sucked into a rock that not only has been resolved, but added a new threat as well, and a really interesting one at that. I cannot wait for this show to come back.
5)Walking Dead- Again, I do not care what the whiners had to say about Glenn's "death," I thought this season was really excellent. The first few episodes were so intense I had to drink during it to calm down. There were some narrative flaws, such as the easy way to avoid zombies that no one seems to do except on rare occasions, and a terrible mid season ending episode where both of Jessie's kids deserved to die (I am still hearing mom, Mom, MOM reverberate in my ears), the rest was series gold. Another show I am looking forward to in February.
4)Big Bang Theory- After a rough start with some lame episodes involving Leonard admitting kissing another girl right before he and Penny were getting married seemed contrived, ill advised, and worst of all, not funny, the break up and rekindling of Amy and Sheldon have been comic gold. The two sleeping together for the first time was worth the wait as the rest of the guys went to Star Wars. Hysterical.
3)Daredevil- The show that made me get Netflix streaming was an action packed thrill fest that had great character development, some of the best fight scenes on TV, and a great use of the superhero that was far superior to the still not as bad as you have heard Ben Affleck one. The spin-off Electra was far, far worse. Even the villain, Kingpin, was given a background that made him sympathetic even when he was killing anyone who got in his way. Kudos for that.
2)The Muppets- Yet another show that a lot of people hated, I loved every minute of. Not one episode has gone by where I didn't laugh out loud like when Scooter went flying off the gold cart, the Swedish Chef doing Karaoke, or Gonzo wanting to relive his daredevil days. Much was made about Piggy and Kermit's break up but I found gave the show a lot of heart. It's getting a make over when it returns and I fear the sanitized version may make the show unpalatable to everyone. Here's hoping it is still funny.
1)Ash VS the Evil Dead- My favorite show of the year hands down as Bruce Campbell returns as the aging Lothario Ash, who after stupidly letting the evil out again from the Necronomicon, teams up with two work mates to fight evil all over again. Lucy Lawless has been in a few of the episodes as some one NOT human who also wants the book for reasons yet unknown. Funny, gross and very reminiscent of the films, STARZ had done the impossible and made this work without being derivative or contrived. Thank God this has been renewed for another season because this show needs to go on until Ash is a pile of bones himself. Long live Ash and the deadites.
Honorable Mentions- Dr. Who, Arrow, The Flash, Scorpion, The Nightly Show, The Daily Show, Bill Maher, Supernatural, Brooklyn 99, Mr. Robot, Undateable, @ Midnight, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Elementary, Hawaii 5-0, Fresh Off the Boat, Last Man on Earth, South Park.
WORST OF TV 2015
10)The Slap- You know a show is going to suck when you can't watch the previews without laughing and it's not a comedy. Some bratty kid gets slapped by someone not the kid's parents and all hell breaks loose I guess, as I never saw one second of this show and it was cancelled soon after. Those that did said they sympathized with the guy slapping the kid as he was so out of control to oblivious parents, many said they would have done the same. I'd like to slap whoever thought this was agood idea for a show.
9)Wicked City- Wicked bad rating doomed this show three weeks after it aired. It was something about a serial killer in the 80's, and the only thing that died was the producer's dreams of a mansion in the LA hills from this debacle. In a season where many shows were left to die on their own, this one was one of the few to get axed quick.
8)American Horror Story- What happened here guys? This was the first season that spun off the rails with vampires, ghosts, a haunted hotel and nothing making a lick of sense. Lady Gaga was the one bright spot doing what she could with a boring character that, like everyone else in this show, no one cared about. The worst was Chloe Sevigny, who looked drugged every time she showed up and whose character was so stupid and badly written, I've been looking forward to her death which still hasn't happened. Next season better be WAY better than this drek.
7)Heroes Reborn- Stillborn maybe, this disaster came from a series most of us were glad was gone. The final season ended poorly, and this latest take on it was all over the place, with terrible writing and the same plot failures that doomed it the first time. I made it three episodes in before realizing that everything I hated about this show was still there. Please just stop with this show. No one cares.
6)Minority Report- Based on the movie of the same name, this show died a painful death and at least that one had Tom Cruise and Stephen Speilberg. This one had two leads that looked like they would rather be on any other show, CGI effects that appeared to be done on a laptop, and plot lines that was nothing more than procedural of the week with a little sci-fi thrown in. This would have been more agreeable on Sy-Fy where crap like 12 Monkeys and Helix have some life (both were terrible, just not enough to make this list). This show was one of the first that wasn't exactly cancelled, but was not renewed past the initial episodes either. It will not be missed.
5)SNL- I have been watching SNL since 1975 when I was just a tot, but one who much like today, didn't like going to bed early. There have been ups and downs but this year is just plain frustrating. There is a lot of talent to draw from, minus Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennet whom I have begun to hate, yet the writing is so sub par that many episodes are just painful to watch. One of the funniest women alive is Amy Schumer and her appearance was godawful. How do you make her NOT funny? The women are kicking it right now, led by Leslie Jones, Cecily Strong and Kate McKinnon, who are funny in almost every sketch they do even if the material sucks. The men need to step it up, particularly the news desk which is still not jelling right, with far better work. Maybe it's time to fire everyone and start anew. Almost the entire female cast will go on to bigger and better things. Kyle Mooney could get a new job at Staples. He is making me miss Melanie Hutsell.
4)Best Time Ever- I hate variety shows. They used to be great but for some time now they have become the bane of my existence. The last good one was Viva Variety which ran on Comedy Central back in the 90's with now famous stars, Tom Lennon, Kathy Kinney Silver and Michael Ian Black as Euro-trash hosts to a show that successfully combined music, comedy and stunt work into a viable program. NPH tried to replicate those kind of shows with this wild misfire that I barely got through the first episode. Stop doing these. They suck.
3)Under the Dome- What started off as an interesting take on the Stephen King novel devolved into a combination Matrix/Days of Our Lives plotline that was so uninteresting I tuned out before it ended. Aliens? Really? This was one of my favorite books and had they stuck to the original plans to make this a miniseries, rather than episodic programs, it might have worked. Instead they dragged it out, changed key parts that made the plot soggy, and came up with a truly awful ending. Once people started going in and out of the Dome, I lost interest. And according to the ratings, so did everyone else.
2) True Detective- While I wasn't as enamored with the first season as some, it was still a decent show. This one, which was a whole new take and missing the director who went on to did features, sucked from minute one. The characters were all interchangeable, the plot was incomprehensible, and starred two box office disasters Vince Vaughn and Colin Farrell, who also managed to sink this show as well. If this comes back, it will need a huge rush of adrenaline to make up for this abortion.
1)Knock Knock- Lasting all of two episodes, this terrible game show had Ryan Seacrest showing up at people homes live and getting them to compete for prizes. It's actually even more boring than it sounds. When a cannon was used to blast money up in the air while people fought each other for handfuls of it, it seemed not too far from the Hunger Games. This was one show that thankfully America said NO to and deservedly so.
Dishonorable Mentions- Blackish (still racist), Code Black, anything with a Kardashian, anything on NBC with the word Chicago in it, Stalker, Agent X, Rosewood, Life in Pieces, Blood and Oil, any of the debates, Helix, 12 Monkeys.
BEST OF TV 2015
10)Family Guy- A spectacular season for the aging show, especially one of the latest episode which had Peter accidentally shooting Cleveland's son, resulting on claims of racism by angry mobs, as well as Cleveland, toward Peter who is definitely not racist. The best part is when Cleveland takes responsibility for shooting his own son, resulting in the press and mob dispersing quickly as black on black crime is "not news." That's funny. And, unfortunately, true.
9)Fargo- Unlike True Detective (which we will see later on the next part), Fargo's second season was a riot filled with great performances from people like Bookem Woodbine, fat Matt Damon look alike, Jesse Plemons and the always awesome, Jeffrey Donovan. Taking place in 1979, we see young Molly, the cop from the first season now a nine year old girl, and her father who is a cop investigating a mob showdown leading to a bloody finale. A chance death caused by two locals start a mob war that kills almost everyone involved. The fact it was very funny too tells you how much a line they had to walk and succeded.
8)Inside Amy Schumer- This girl had a great year with a hit movie, Trainwreck, a comedy special on HBO, and this show which was the best sketch comedy show of the year (sorry SNL but your star is fading). The "too old to fuck" sketch with Tina Fey and Julie Louis Dreyfus was fantastic as was the half hour spoof of 12 Angry Men where they debated whether Amy was hot enough for TV which won them some awards, which they should have. This woman is not only hot, she's on fire. I look forward to more from her.
7)John Oliver- No fake news show made me laugh harder or think more than Oliver's show, Last Week Tonight. It exposed every hypocrisy out there, spending a lot of time on FIFA, which proved to be one of the most corrupt organizations on Earth. Oliver as the British outsider is pitch perfect in his outrage and his key phrase, "I swear that this is true," never fails to amaze that it is indeed true and almost always shockingly unbelievable. The Daily Show missed out big losing Oliver because while Trevor Noah has done a great job taking over for Jon Steward, Oliver was the heir apparent.
6)Marvel Agent's of Shield- I was on of the few who actually liked this first season and didn't complain like a little girl about the lack of super powers on the show. Well, that is no longer a thing as there are several character that DO have super powers now, the show's writing is still as sharp as ever, and damn if they don't know how to end a season or a midpoint. Last season saw Gemma sucked into a rock that not only has been resolved, but added a new threat as well, and a really interesting one at that. I cannot wait for this show to come back.
5)Walking Dead- Again, I do not care what the whiners had to say about Glenn's "death," I thought this season was really excellent. The first few episodes were so intense I had to drink during it to calm down. There were some narrative flaws, such as the easy way to avoid zombies that no one seems to do except on rare occasions, and a terrible mid season ending episode where both of Jessie's kids deserved to die (I am still hearing mom, Mom, MOM reverberate in my ears), the rest was series gold. Another show I am looking forward to in February.
4)Big Bang Theory- After a rough start with some lame episodes involving Leonard admitting kissing another girl right before he and Penny were getting married seemed contrived, ill advised, and worst of all, not funny, the break up and rekindling of Amy and Sheldon have been comic gold. The two sleeping together for the first time was worth the wait as the rest of the guys went to Star Wars. Hysterical.
3)Daredevil- The show that made me get Netflix streaming was an action packed thrill fest that had great character development, some of the best fight scenes on TV, and a great use of the superhero that was far superior to the still not as bad as you have heard Ben Affleck one. The spin-off Electra was far, far worse. Even the villain, Kingpin, was given a background that made him sympathetic even when he was killing anyone who got in his way. Kudos for that.
2)The Muppets- Yet another show that a lot of people hated, I loved every minute of. Not one episode has gone by where I didn't laugh out loud like when Scooter went flying off the gold cart, the Swedish Chef doing Karaoke, or Gonzo wanting to relive his daredevil days. Much was made about Piggy and Kermit's break up but I found gave the show a lot of heart. It's getting a make over when it returns and I fear the sanitized version may make the show unpalatable to everyone. Here's hoping it is still funny.
1)Ash VS the Evil Dead- My favorite show of the year hands down as Bruce Campbell returns as the aging Lothario Ash, who after stupidly letting the evil out again from the Necronomicon, teams up with two work mates to fight evil all over again. Lucy Lawless has been in a few of the episodes as some one NOT human who also wants the book for reasons yet unknown. Funny, gross and very reminiscent of the films, STARZ had done the impossible and made this work without being derivative or contrived. Thank God this has been renewed for another season because this show needs to go on until Ash is a pile of bones himself. Long live Ash and the deadites.
Honorable Mentions- Dr. Who, Arrow, The Flash, Scorpion, The Nightly Show, The Daily Show, Bill Maher, Supernatural, Brooklyn 99, Mr. Robot, Undateable, @ Midnight, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Elementary, Hawaii 5-0, Fresh Off the Boat, Last Man on Earth, South Park.
WORST OF TV 2015
10)The Slap- You know a show is going to suck when you can't watch the previews without laughing and it's not a comedy. Some bratty kid gets slapped by someone not the kid's parents and all hell breaks loose I guess, as I never saw one second of this show and it was cancelled soon after. Those that did said they sympathized with the guy slapping the kid as he was so out of control to oblivious parents, many said they would have done the same. I'd like to slap whoever thought this was agood idea for a show.
9)Wicked City- Wicked bad rating doomed this show three weeks after it aired. It was something about a serial killer in the 80's, and the only thing that died was the producer's dreams of a mansion in the LA hills from this debacle. In a season where many shows were left to die on their own, this one was one of the few to get axed quick.
8)American Horror Story- What happened here guys? This was the first season that spun off the rails with vampires, ghosts, a haunted hotel and nothing making a lick of sense. Lady Gaga was the one bright spot doing what she could with a boring character that, like everyone else in this show, no one cared about. The worst was Chloe Sevigny, who looked drugged every time she showed up and whose character was so stupid and badly written, I've been looking forward to her death which still hasn't happened. Next season better be WAY better than this drek.
7)Heroes Reborn- Stillborn maybe, this disaster came from a series most of us were glad was gone. The final season ended poorly, and this latest take on it was all over the place, with terrible writing and the same plot failures that doomed it the first time. I made it three episodes in before realizing that everything I hated about this show was still there. Please just stop with this show. No one cares.
6)Minority Report- Based on the movie of the same name, this show died a painful death and at least that one had Tom Cruise and Stephen Speilberg. This one had two leads that looked like they would rather be on any other show, CGI effects that appeared to be done on a laptop, and plot lines that was nothing more than procedural of the week with a little sci-fi thrown in. This would have been more agreeable on Sy-Fy where crap like 12 Monkeys and Helix have some life (both were terrible, just not enough to make this list). This show was one of the first that wasn't exactly cancelled, but was not renewed past the initial episodes either. It will not be missed.
5)SNL- I have been watching SNL since 1975 when I was just a tot, but one who much like today, didn't like going to bed early. There have been ups and downs but this year is just plain frustrating. There is a lot of talent to draw from, minus Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennet whom I have begun to hate, yet the writing is so sub par that many episodes are just painful to watch. One of the funniest women alive is Amy Schumer and her appearance was godawful. How do you make her NOT funny? The women are kicking it right now, led by Leslie Jones, Cecily Strong and Kate McKinnon, who are funny in almost every sketch they do even if the material sucks. The men need to step it up, particularly the news desk which is still not jelling right, with far better work. Maybe it's time to fire everyone and start anew. Almost the entire female cast will go on to bigger and better things. Kyle Mooney could get a new job at Staples. He is making me miss Melanie Hutsell.
4)Best Time Ever- I hate variety shows. They used to be great but for some time now they have become the bane of my existence. The last good one was Viva Variety which ran on Comedy Central back in the 90's with now famous stars, Tom Lennon, Kathy Kinney Silver and Michael Ian Black as Euro-trash hosts to a show that successfully combined music, comedy and stunt work into a viable program. NPH tried to replicate those kind of shows with this wild misfire that I barely got through the first episode. Stop doing these. They suck.
3)Under the Dome- What started off as an interesting take on the Stephen King novel devolved into a combination Matrix/Days of Our Lives plotline that was so uninteresting I tuned out before it ended. Aliens? Really? This was one of my favorite books and had they stuck to the original plans to make this a miniseries, rather than episodic programs, it might have worked. Instead they dragged it out, changed key parts that made the plot soggy, and came up with a truly awful ending. Once people started going in and out of the Dome, I lost interest. And according to the ratings, so did everyone else.
2) True Detective- While I wasn't as enamored with the first season as some, it was still a decent show. This one, which was a whole new take and missing the director who went on to did features, sucked from minute one. The characters were all interchangeable, the plot was incomprehensible, and starred two box office disasters Vince Vaughn and Colin Farrell, who also managed to sink this show as well. If this comes back, it will need a huge rush of adrenaline to make up for this abortion.
1)Knock Knock- Lasting all of two episodes, this terrible game show had Ryan Seacrest showing up at people homes live and getting them to compete for prizes. It's actually even more boring than it sounds. When a cannon was used to blast money up in the air while people fought each other for handfuls of it, it seemed not too far from the Hunger Games. This was one show that thankfully America said NO to and deservedly so.
Dishonorable Mentions- Blackish (still racist), Code Black, anything with a Kardashian, anything on NBC with the word Chicago in it, Stalker, Agent X, Rosewood, Life in Pieces, Blood and Oil, any of the debates, Helix, 12 Monkeys.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: MARTIN SHKRELI!
Some day's it is a pleasure to wake up, turn on the news and feel all is right with world. With all that sucks and blows in society, it is refreshing to see someone as douchey as Martin Shkreli getting arrested for running a Ponzi Scheme, perp walk and all. Let's see those runner ups in another shortened week.
10)Koch Brothers- These assholes are set to pump $900 million, or just shy of a billion, to get a Republican in office, unless it's Donald Trump and then do not be surprised if they switch to Hillary, as she would be far less damaging to the status quo than Trump may be. Since the arrival of Citizen's United, corporate power is on the rise and with it, the dark specter of fascism. We face a lot of uncertainty over how long we have before this new form of government becomes unstoppable.
9)Phillip Chism- The budding psychopath was just 14 when he raped and killed his teacher in a MA school two years ago. While incarcerated, he tried to strangle another female worker. His lawyers pleaded that he was insane but videos and eyewitness testimony say he knew what he was doing and is beyond dangerous. Because of Supreme Court rulings, he can neither be put to death nor given life without parole. That is dangerous as this guy can never leave prison as he is far too evil and now faces a possibility where parole may let him out again. This dick should be dead by tomorrow if common sense was available.
8)LA School System- What a bunch of pussies. This week an obvious hoax terrorist plan was announced online and these idiots panicked and closed the whole school system. The threat was so stupid and beyond belief I cannot comprehend any rational person falling for it. In it, a bullied teen said he and a gang of others had joined ISIS and were going to attack using pipe bombs and guns and many schools would be affected. Then they misspelled Allah which should have been a big clue some idiot teen wrote this who didn't want to go to school that day. To cover his tracks I guess, he sent another to NYC, who immediately didn't believe it and went about their day. Stop falling for this every time because it makes us look weak. Grow a pair and go about your day. If something like this were to happen, there would be dead Muslims knee deep across this country the next day.
7)Bill Cosby- Can this man sink any lower? This week this rapist dick actually sued seven of the women suing him for, wait for it, defamation of character. So he's mad because he raped them and then they had the tenacity to report it? That takes balls. See you on my douchebag of the year list in two weeks, mother fucker.
6)Melissa Perry Harris- What does it take for a person to get fired off of MSNBC? This week, this black racist hit bottom when she started arguing with Tea Party activist/former TV star, Janine Turner, which turned into a new low over who could out-stupid the other. It began with Harris claiming Star Wars was racist because Darth Vader was black, with a black man's voice but when his helmet came off, he was white. She does know the color black is associated with evil (because we fear the dark) and white with good (Light good), regardless of race. Sorry the genetic lottery picked that skin tone for you but understand just because life made the colors of good and evil that way, it doesn't mean we look at black people as all evil or all white people as all good. This column has people of all colors and creeds on it. Turner went on to challenge the assumption, not always using accurate terms, but far better than Harris which may be the first time in history a Tea Party supporter had better facts than an alleged reporter. This woman needs to go.
5)Debbie Wasserman Schultz- Speaking of liberal women I truly loathe, Schultz is coming under fire for her debate schedule that basically buries the next two debates in time slots that even the most die hard viewers, like me, won't be watching as I have better things to do on a Saturday night than listen to three hours of drivel which the MSM will spin in whatever direction they feel like. She screwed up the last election by giving up on it before it even started and now is trying to give us Hillary with no debate on it before hand. Like Harris, this bitch needs to go.
4)Ethan Couch- The Afflunza Kid, fresh of his being captured on video drinking at a beer pong game, and being in violation of his parole because of this, is now missing, having not been to see his probation officer all week. Oddly, the latter part is much more serious than the video and an arrest warrant has been issued for his capture. His mother is also missing and many have feared they have left the country. What a family of dicks. If he gets arrested again, he faces real time behind bars. Now that is a reality show I'd watch.
3)MSM- After the debacle that was this past Tuesday's debate, the media outlets all blew themselves on national TV, telling each other what a great job they did, regardless of the fact that the questions sucked, the followup was nonexistent, and basically it was like listening to Charlie's Brown's parents talk for two and a half hours. By the time it got to closing statement, I had already tuned out. This debate was awful, half of the people shouldn't have even been up there according to their own standards they had set out, and can we please stop having a kiddie table debate as none of those people have any reasonable chance of a single state win let alone the nomination. Start questioning the candidates and calling them on it when they lie or say something dumb which is almost always. When Fiorina started naming off generals that Obama "fired" she named one that quit to run the CIA, one who left in disgrace and another who quit six years before Obama was even President. No one at CNN noticed. Figures.
2)Republicans- What a trainwreck this past week has been. They have a budget deal that looks likely to pass which is a compromise which must taste like ashes to the Tea Party faithful. Compromise, they say, YUCK! In exchange for oil now being sold world wide, democrats got the 9/11 responders bill, some environmental deals and other left wing goodies. Then there was the debate which made all of them look like runner ups for the next election. Half of them said they'd bomb Russia if Putin looked at them funny, a third wants to deport anyone who isn't white, and all of them have economic ideas that would ruin this country. AGAIN! Does no one remember what happened when Bush and the rest of the country was run by Republicans? The economy crashed! And some of you out there want it again. Christie is a blowhard. Fiorina is unfit to run a Dunkin Donuts. Carson appears to be in a coma. Cruz is certifiable. Rubio is the establishment player running in the wring cycle for that. Jeb cannot speak in complete sentences. Leaving Trump at the top of the heap as the rest are so unpalatable. How bad does that make everyone else?
1)Martin Shkreli- The Big Pharma CEO just found out that when the world needs a scapegoat, picking the douchiest one is best. He was arrested this morning on several counts of conspiracy to commit fraud, and fraud, and now faces 20 years behind bars. I couldn't be happier. So the dick who raised two drugs that people need to live to astronomical levels may lose everything. That's funny. His past shows how he made a lot of money in just two years out of college by shorting the system, screwing people out of money and basically behaving like a non-killer psychopath. He once made money short selling a pharmaceutical company while making sure the drugs they had never saw the marketplace, netting him a lot of money with a situation he created. His whole life is filled with awful things he has done and now fate has caught up to him. I laughed myself back to sleep after finding this out this morning. So congratulations Shkreli, you are indeed douchebag of the week and a real contender for douchebag of the year. Right now the police, Republicans and Bill Cosby are also in the hunt. Be back next week for another abbreviated week due to holiday commitments.
10)Koch Brothers- These assholes are set to pump $900 million, or just shy of a billion, to get a Republican in office, unless it's Donald Trump and then do not be surprised if they switch to Hillary, as she would be far less damaging to the status quo than Trump may be. Since the arrival of Citizen's United, corporate power is on the rise and with it, the dark specter of fascism. We face a lot of uncertainty over how long we have before this new form of government becomes unstoppable.
9)Phillip Chism- The budding psychopath was just 14 when he raped and killed his teacher in a MA school two years ago. While incarcerated, he tried to strangle another female worker. His lawyers pleaded that he was insane but videos and eyewitness testimony say he knew what he was doing and is beyond dangerous. Because of Supreme Court rulings, he can neither be put to death nor given life without parole. That is dangerous as this guy can never leave prison as he is far too evil and now faces a possibility where parole may let him out again. This dick should be dead by tomorrow if common sense was available.
8)LA School System- What a bunch of pussies. This week an obvious hoax terrorist plan was announced online and these idiots panicked and closed the whole school system. The threat was so stupid and beyond belief I cannot comprehend any rational person falling for it. In it, a bullied teen said he and a gang of others had joined ISIS and were going to attack using pipe bombs and guns and many schools would be affected. Then they misspelled Allah which should have been a big clue some idiot teen wrote this who didn't want to go to school that day. To cover his tracks I guess, he sent another to NYC, who immediately didn't believe it and went about their day. Stop falling for this every time because it makes us look weak. Grow a pair and go about your day. If something like this were to happen, there would be dead Muslims knee deep across this country the next day.
7)Bill Cosby- Can this man sink any lower? This week this rapist dick actually sued seven of the women suing him for, wait for it, defamation of character. So he's mad because he raped them and then they had the tenacity to report it? That takes balls. See you on my douchebag of the year list in two weeks, mother fucker.
6)Melissa Perry Harris- What does it take for a person to get fired off of MSNBC? This week, this black racist hit bottom when she started arguing with Tea Party activist/former TV star, Janine Turner, which turned into a new low over who could out-stupid the other. It began with Harris claiming Star Wars was racist because Darth Vader was black, with a black man's voice but when his helmet came off, he was white. She does know the color black is associated with evil (because we fear the dark) and white with good (Light good), regardless of race. Sorry the genetic lottery picked that skin tone for you but understand just because life made the colors of good and evil that way, it doesn't mean we look at black people as all evil or all white people as all good. This column has people of all colors and creeds on it. Turner went on to challenge the assumption, not always using accurate terms, but far better than Harris which may be the first time in history a Tea Party supporter had better facts than an alleged reporter. This woman needs to go.
5)Debbie Wasserman Schultz- Speaking of liberal women I truly loathe, Schultz is coming under fire for her debate schedule that basically buries the next two debates in time slots that even the most die hard viewers, like me, won't be watching as I have better things to do on a Saturday night than listen to three hours of drivel which the MSM will spin in whatever direction they feel like. She screwed up the last election by giving up on it before it even started and now is trying to give us Hillary with no debate on it before hand. Like Harris, this bitch needs to go.
4)Ethan Couch- The Afflunza Kid, fresh of his being captured on video drinking at a beer pong game, and being in violation of his parole because of this, is now missing, having not been to see his probation officer all week. Oddly, the latter part is much more serious than the video and an arrest warrant has been issued for his capture. His mother is also missing and many have feared they have left the country. What a family of dicks. If he gets arrested again, he faces real time behind bars. Now that is a reality show I'd watch.
3)MSM- After the debacle that was this past Tuesday's debate, the media outlets all blew themselves on national TV, telling each other what a great job they did, regardless of the fact that the questions sucked, the followup was nonexistent, and basically it was like listening to Charlie's Brown's parents talk for two and a half hours. By the time it got to closing statement, I had already tuned out. This debate was awful, half of the people shouldn't have even been up there according to their own standards they had set out, and can we please stop having a kiddie table debate as none of those people have any reasonable chance of a single state win let alone the nomination. Start questioning the candidates and calling them on it when they lie or say something dumb which is almost always. When Fiorina started naming off generals that Obama "fired" she named one that quit to run the CIA, one who left in disgrace and another who quit six years before Obama was even President. No one at CNN noticed. Figures.
2)Republicans- What a trainwreck this past week has been. They have a budget deal that looks likely to pass which is a compromise which must taste like ashes to the Tea Party faithful. Compromise, they say, YUCK! In exchange for oil now being sold world wide, democrats got the 9/11 responders bill, some environmental deals and other left wing goodies. Then there was the debate which made all of them look like runner ups for the next election. Half of them said they'd bomb Russia if Putin looked at them funny, a third wants to deport anyone who isn't white, and all of them have economic ideas that would ruin this country. AGAIN! Does no one remember what happened when Bush and the rest of the country was run by Republicans? The economy crashed! And some of you out there want it again. Christie is a blowhard. Fiorina is unfit to run a Dunkin Donuts. Carson appears to be in a coma. Cruz is certifiable. Rubio is the establishment player running in the wring cycle for that. Jeb cannot speak in complete sentences. Leaving Trump at the top of the heap as the rest are so unpalatable. How bad does that make everyone else?
1)Martin Shkreli- The Big Pharma CEO just found out that when the world needs a scapegoat, picking the douchiest one is best. He was arrested this morning on several counts of conspiracy to commit fraud, and fraud, and now faces 20 years behind bars. I couldn't be happier. So the dick who raised two drugs that people need to live to astronomical levels may lose everything. That's funny. His past shows how he made a lot of money in just two years out of college by shorting the system, screwing people out of money and basically behaving like a non-killer psychopath. He once made money short selling a pharmaceutical company while making sure the drugs they had never saw the marketplace, netting him a lot of money with a situation he created. His whole life is filled with awful things he has done and now fate has caught up to him. I laughed myself back to sleep after finding this out this morning. So congratulations Shkreli, you are indeed douchebag of the week and a real contender for douchebag of the year. Right now the police, Republicans and Bill Cosby are also in the hunt. Be back next week for another abbreviated week due to holiday commitments.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
WORST. DEBATE. EVER. WHY LAST NIGHT WAS POINTLESS TO EVERYONE NOT A DEMOCRAT!
Holy God, I don't know how many more of these I can take. The winners were Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders who both were most likely doing cartwheels over the possibility of beating any of these idiots in a landslide next year. The losers were people like myself who sat through the entire debacle wondering how in the hell anyone could support any of these idiots with a straight face. Here is a break down of the entire debate:
Donald Trump- I will build a wall, get rid of the Muslims, bring back slavery and make white people great again.
Ted Cruz- I will carpet bomb the enemy but do it in a civilized way. And Russia if I feel like it.
Marco Rubio- I will remain calm, cool and collective which explains why my poll numbers have gone nowhere because obviously Republicans are addicted to chaos.
Ben Carson- I will end North Korea by depriving them of oil. Oh, we don't give oil to them? Nevermind.
Carly Fiorina- I will continue to defy explanation as to why I am even here. Oh and don't forget I ran HP into the ground and will also attack Russia at the drop of a hat.
Jeb Bush- I will continue to come across as weak, whinny and incapable of speaking in complete sentences.
Chris Christie- I too will bomb Russia back to the Stone Age if they so much as look at me funny or tell one, just one, fat joke at my expense.
John Kasich- Not to sound like a broken record, but I too will end Russia my first day in office. And Republicans need to stop harping at one another. Unless their Russian that is.
Rand Paul- I can't believe I'm losing to these guys.
That was pretty much the sum on last night for those smart enough not to watch this drivel. CNN self congratulated themselves for a job well done, even though the questions were terrible, a lot aimed at dethroning Trump rather than explaining actual policy. The first hour was nothing more than the same question about ISIS recycled a dozen different ways with half of the candidates explaining how they would start WW3 which is about as terrible a presidential policy as I can imagine.
The worst part was focus groups LOVED it. They thought Cruz and Christie were awesome in their responses, somehow forgetting that Russia has more nukes than us and we would both be radioactive dust in minutes should a real war start because of these idiots. Have we become so blase towards war, as it has barely affected us for decades, that we fail to understand that we could still lose?
Cruz may have given out classified info last night when discussing the government's questionable data gathering systems, which is being looked into by Congress as we speak. There are also similiar birth questions, ala Obama, that may or may not have merit depending on how accurate some of the "facts" about the case are. Does his mother have a Delaware birth certificate? Did both his parents renounce US citizenship to become Canadian and reverse that again four years later, and if so, does that qualify as "natural born?" Hey you guys started this crap with Obama even after it was long debunked so fair is fair.
The clear losers last night were Fiorina, Bush and Carson, not to mention CNN for their awful questions. Fiorina faded into the background and every time she tried to insert herself into the conversation, the moderators quickly cut her off, which is one of the few positive things I would say about them. She said she would spank Russia if they got too big for their britches, a policy agreed on by half of those on stage and should be grounds for dismissal for the running. This bitch needs to go.
Hugh Hewitt is an idiot who asked several terrible questions and was rightfully booed a few times. Blitzer is a fool 24/7 anyway so no surprise there. The worst were the video questions that came from Idiot America and had the weight and presence of piece of belly button lint. Was there really no better questions than the three or four used that were somehow worse than anything Blitzer or Hewitt asked all night? I am sick of fairness and non-objectivity when Republicans stay stupid shit all night and then hear what a great debate it was after from a fawning press. Somewhere, Edward R. Murrow is puking his guts out.
Carson coughed and hacked his way through the debate so much I thought I was watching a commercial for throat lozenges. His sleepy demeanor is wearing thin, his past, most of which is a lie, has come back to haunt him and his knowledge of foreign matters is worse than most house pets. He fumbled on North Korea, had no opinion on immigration and seemed lost most of the night. He's done.
The hands down worst was Jeb Bush, who despite some pundits declaring what a great night he had, just lost the race. Focus groups HATED him, calling him desperate and weak, especially when he went after Trump which flopped almost every time. When Trump backhanded him with the fact that Trump is at 42% and Bush is at 3%, you could practically see teeth flying out of his mouth the blow was so hard. He got no favors here and chances are good that he is all over now. The fact that he is a mushmouth who can't go one sentence without a garbled response makes me questions if his mother didn't drink alcohol like a lush for all her children's pregnancies. That is one inbred family apparently.
The democratic debate is one Saturday. Chances are good, even I won't be watching as I have better things to do on a weekend night before Christmas than see a repeat of this tragedy. Clinton will lie and say 9/11 147 times. Bernie will remind us that this country sucks. Martin O'Malley will struggle with people trying to remember who he is. Then the media will tell us Hillary won regardless of whether she did or didn't. The primaries can't come soon enough.
Donald Trump- I will build a wall, get rid of the Muslims, bring back slavery and make white people great again.
Ted Cruz- I will carpet bomb the enemy but do it in a civilized way. And Russia if I feel like it.
Marco Rubio- I will remain calm, cool and collective which explains why my poll numbers have gone nowhere because obviously Republicans are addicted to chaos.
Ben Carson- I will end North Korea by depriving them of oil. Oh, we don't give oil to them? Nevermind.
Carly Fiorina- I will continue to defy explanation as to why I am even here. Oh and don't forget I ran HP into the ground and will also attack Russia at the drop of a hat.
Jeb Bush- I will continue to come across as weak, whinny and incapable of speaking in complete sentences.
Chris Christie- I too will bomb Russia back to the Stone Age if they so much as look at me funny or tell one, just one, fat joke at my expense.
John Kasich- Not to sound like a broken record, but I too will end Russia my first day in office. And Republicans need to stop harping at one another. Unless their Russian that is.
Rand Paul- I can't believe I'm losing to these guys.
That was pretty much the sum on last night for those smart enough not to watch this drivel. CNN self congratulated themselves for a job well done, even though the questions were terrible, a lot aimed at dethroning Trump rather than explaining actual policy. The first hour was nothing more than the same question about ISIS recycled a dozen different ways with half of the candidates explaining how they would start WW3 which is about as terrible a presidential policy as I can imagine.
The worst part was focus groups LOVED it. They thought Cruz and Christie were awesome in their responses, somehow forgetting that Russia has more nukes than us and we would both be radioactive dust in minutes should a real war start because of these idiots. Have we become so blase towards war, as it has barely affected us for decades, that we fail to understand that we could still lose?
Cruz may have given out classified info last night when discussing the government's questionable data gathering systems, which is being looked into by Congress as we speak. There are also similiar birth questions, ala Obama, that may or may not have merit depending on how accurate some of the "facts" about the case are. Does his mother have a Delaware birth certificate? Did both his parents renounce US citizenship to become Canadian and reverse that again four years later, and if so, does that qualify as "natural born?" Hey you guys started this crap with Obama even after it was long debunked so fair is fair.
The clear losers last night were Fiorina, Bush and Carson, not to mention CNN for their awful questions. Fiorina faded into the background and every time she tried to insert herself into the conversation, the moderators quickly cut her off, which is one of the few positive things I would say about them. She said she would spank Russia if they got too big for their britches, a policy agreed on by half of those on stage and should be grounds for dismissal for the running. This bitch needs to go.
Hugh Hewitt is an idiot who asked several terrible questions and was rightfully booed a few times. Blitzer is a fool 24/7 anyway so no surprise there. The worst were the video questions that came from Idiot America and had the weight and presence of piece of belly button lint. Was there really no better questions than the three or four used that were somehow worse than anything Blitzer or Hewitt asked all night? I am sick of fairness and non-objectivity when Republicans stay stupid shit all night and then hear what a great debate it was after from a fawning press. Somewhere, Edward R. Murrow is puking his guts out.
Carson coughed and hacked his way through the debate so much I thought I was watching a commercial for throat lozenges. His sleepy demeanor is wearing thin, his past, most of which is a lie, has come back to haunt him and his knowledge of foreign matters is worse than most house pets. He fumbled on North Korea, had no opinion on immigration and seemed lost most of the night. He's done.
The hands down worst was Jeb Bush, who despite some pundits declaring what a great night he had, just lost the race. Focus groups HATED him, calling him desperate and weak, especially when he went after Trump which flopped almost every time. When Trump backhanded him with the fact that Trump is at 42% and Bush is at 3%, you could practically see teeth flying out of his mouth the blow was so hard. He got no favors here and chances are good that he is all over now. The fact that he is a mushmouth who can't go one sentence without a garbled response makes me questions if his mother didn't drink alcohol like a lush for all her children's pregnancies. That is one inbred family apparently.
The democratic debate is one Saturday. Chances are good, even I won't be watching as I have better things to do on a weekend night before Christmas than see a repeat of this tragedy. Clinton will lie and say 9/11 147 times. Bernie will remind us that this country sucks. Martin O'Malley will struggle with people trying to remember who he is. Then the media will tell us Hillary won regardless of whether she did or didn't. The primaries can't come soon enough.
Monday, December 14, 2015
WHY ALMOST ALL OF THE GOP PRESIDENTAL CANDIDATES SUCK!
Here we sit on the verge of another Presidential debate, one that could be the worst yet as Wolf Blitzer is the moderator and Ted Cruz inexplicably is on the rise. What is wrong with this country to see that man as President? Why pick someone hated across the political spectrum? How do you think the rest of the world will treat us with that moron in office?
Republicans have officially lost their minds. This past week we saw Mitch McConnell hold up the 9/11 first responders bill for political reasons and pass an anti-health care bill which would cause insurance premiums to skyrocket in price, eliminate subsidies and effectively destroy health care for everyone once and for all. Their plan is NO plan, yet some of you out there are happily voting for these retards with gay abandon. Let's take a closer look at the people some of you are thinking would be a great leader of the free world.
Donald Trump- For all the insane nonsense this guy has been spouting about stopping all Muslims from coming to this country, a lot of what he says makes sense. He truthfully called Turkey and Saudi Arabia out for funding ISIS, which they are. He has rightfully pointed out our vetting system is crap as we somehow lack the ability to verify addresses and cannot even look at social media pages. We spy on everyone rather than look at those that might be willing to cause us harm, which then gets lost in a sea of useless information. Say what you like about Donald Trump, he is the only one running for President on the GOP side who isn't either completely nuts or a bought and paid for politician. He's also only one of two that has any chance of winning. There is also the strong possibility he runs as a third party candidate if he loses the nomination, all but guaranteeing the democrats win again in 2016.
Ted Cruz- Where to start with this ass? He has zero people skills. He is hated on both sides of the aisle. His solution to anything seems to be nuke em back to the Stone Age. Cruz is a thorn in the side of the GOP as unlike Trump, if he gets the nod, there is a 100% chance he loses in a landslide. People will show up in droves to vote against him. Trump does have some cross aisle appeal, regardless of what that media keeps telling you, even though much like most of the candidates, chances are good he will still lose. Much like the midterm elections, this one is not shaping up well for the GOP. With Cruz at the top, it's a disaster.
Ben Carson- Carson went to the Middle East to bolster his non-existent foreign policy and faded from prominence in the meantime. His numbers have plummeted as even the strongest supporter said he doesn't have what it takes to be President. which he doesn't. Carson is a brilliant neurosurgeon. He is not even a plausible politician. Much like Herman Cain in 2012, his days are over as a candidate. Much like Trump, he has threatened a third party run. Good luck with that.
Marco Rubio- The only person running who has the best chance of winning still is stuck in the mid range numbers. He's young, articulate and Hispanic, as well as full of terrible Republican ideas that GOP voters love for some retarded reasons. Yet he seems to be incapable of getting out of fourth/fifth place. Is it because he doesn't come across as a insane lunatic that voters have shied away from? More likely it is the GOP voter who has had it with establishment Republicans who have been promised things will get better for decades and nothing ever has. You would think democratic voters would get the same message and dump Hillary, but no.
Chris Christie- The fat man from NJ has been rising in the polls, now placing second in NH regardless of the fact that he has run his state into the ground, has demonstrated a tenacity to punish his foes regardless of legal matters, and a temperament better suited for a major league baseball umpire than President. He's still better than Ted Cruz.
John Kasich- I am stunned he's still running after his last dismal debate performance. It's all of nothing after tomorrow night.
Jeb Bush- Will Farrel said it best this past weekend when acting as Jeb's brother George he commented that who would have seen plot twist that he was the smarter one. Jeb has blown through $50 million dollars in ads, most of which are in my area which run non-stop, while seeing his numbers actually tick lower. Time is running out in his campaign that after tomorrow might be game over.
Carly Fiorina- She was actually arguing on CNN this past week that the proven edited Planned Parenthood videos weren't, even though the guy who made them said they were. This level of delusion is just sad and unworthy of her even running for President at this point. As her numbers have fallen off the map, I am stunned she is even on the main stage still.
Rand Paul- This will be his last hurrah before exiting the race. His hopes are lower than Jeb's.
The remaining four in the kids debate are just fooling themselves and should be following Bobby Jindal out the door. We'll see how this all turns out when I return on Wednesday will full coverage over what should be an interesting debate. Considering how little I care about the democrat one on Saturday, it is doubtful I will even watch it. Hillary will lie and scream about 9/11, Bernie will speak the truth and be ignored and O'Malley will fight for the VP spot. The media will then declare Hillary the winner and I will die a little more inside.
Republicans have officially lost their minds. This past week we saw Mitch McConnell hold up the 9/11 first responders bill for political reasons and pass an anti-health care bill which would cause insurance premiums to skyrocket in price, eliminate subsidies and effectively destroy health care for everyone once and for all. Their plan is NO plan, yet some of you out there are happily voting for these retards with gay abandon. Let's take a closer look at the people some of you are thinking would be a great leader of the free world.
Donald Trump- For all the insane nonsense this guy has been spouting about stopping all Muslims from coming to this country, a lot of what he says makes sense. He truthfully called Turkey and Saudi Arabia out for funding ISIS, which they are. He has rightfully pointed out our vetting system is crap as we somehow lack the ability to verify addresses and cannot even look at social media pages. We spy on everyone rather than look at those that might be willing to cause us harm, which then gets lost in a sea of useless information. Say what you like about Donald Trump, he is the only one running for President on the GOP side who isn't either completely nuts or a bought and paid for politician. He's also only one of two that has any chance of winning. There is also the strong possibility he runs as a third party candidate if he loses the nomination, all but guaranteeing the democrats win again in 2016.
Ted Cruz- Where to start with this ass? He has zero people skills. He is hated on both sides of the aisle. His solution to anything seems to be nuke em back to the Stone Age. Cruz is a thorn in the side of the GOP as unlike Trump, if he gets the nod, there is a 100% chance he loses in a landslide. People will show up in droves to vote against him. Trump does have some cross aisle appeal, regardless of what that media keeps telling you, even though much like most of the candidates, chances are good he will still lose. Much like the midterm elections, this one is not shaping up well for the GOP. With Cruz at the top, it's a disaster.
Ben Carson- Carson went to the Middle East to bolster his non-existent foreign policy and faded from prominence in the meantime. His numbers have plummeted as even the strongest supporter said he doesn't have what it takes to be President. which he doesn't. Carson is a brilliant neurosurgeon. He is not even a plausible politician. Much like Herman Cain in 2012, his days are over as a candidate. Much like Trump, he has threatened a third party run. Good luck with that.
Marco Rubio- The only person running who has the best chance of winning still is stuck in the mid range numbers. He's young, articulate and Hispanic, as well as full of terrible Republican ideas that GOP voters love for some retarded reasons. Yet he seems to be incapable of getting out of fourth/fifth place. Is it because he doesn't come across as a insane lunatic that voters have shied away from? More likely it is the GOP voter who has had it with establishment Republicans who have been promised things will get better for decades and nothing ever has. You would think democratic voters would get the same message and dump Hillary, but no.
Chris Christie- The fat man from NJ has been rising in the polls, now placing second in NH regardless of the fact that he has run his state into the ground, has demonstrated a tenacity to punish his foes regardless of legal matters, and a temperament better suited for a major league baseball umpire than President. He's still better than Ted Cruz.
John Kasich- I am stunned he's still running after his last dismal debate performance. It's all of nothing after tomorrow night.
Jeb Bush- Will Farrel said it best this past weekend when acting as Jeb's brother George he commented that who would have seen plot twist that he was the smarter one. Jeb has blown through $50 million dollars in ads, most of which are in my area which run non-stop, while seeing his numbers actually tick lower. Time is running out in his campaign that after tomorrow might be game over.
Carly Fiorina- She was actually arguing on CNN this past week that the proven edited Planned Parenthood videos weren't, even though the guy who made them said they were. This level of delusion is just sad and unworthy of her even running for President at this point. As her numbers have fallen off the map, I am stunned she is even on the main stage still.
Rand Paul- This will be his last hurrah before exiting the race. His hopes are lower than Jeb's.
The remaining four in the kids debate are just fooling themselves and should be following Bobby Jindal out the door. We'll see how this all turns out when I return on Wednesday will full coverage over what should be an interesting debate. Considering how little I care about the democrat one on Saturday, it is doubtful I will even watch it. Hillary will lie and scream about 9/11, Bernie will speak the truth and be ignored and O'Malley will fight for the VP spot. The media will then declare Hillary the winner and I will die a little more inside.
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