DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: DEMOCRATS

Yes the democrats get the top honor this week with what can only be described as shoot yourself in the foot syndrome, an ailment they seem to be the masters of. I mean really, the Republicans NEVER screw up this bad and I loathe Republicans. They may be the spawn of Satan by for God's sake they stay on message consistently; even if the message is completely wrong, they stay with it. You guys are like spastic monkeys who quite simply cannot follow the most basic of instructions which is DON'T PISS OFF YOUR BASE. Is that so hard to accomplish? Let's look at this week's runner ups before laying into the aforementioned winner.

THE TEA PARTY- Yes it wouldn't be this column without reminding people about how idiotic and utterly dangerous the Tea Party has become. This fringe faux-Republican party has got to be stopped. They are for all tense and purposes a modern day fascist party, with their desire for corporations to have all the power over government, the very definition of such a state I might add. They are not a party of inclusion as seen by the dozens of candidates running, all Republican, zero democrats. I watched this weekend Bill Maher try to get any sense from a Tea Party organizer from St Louis to no avail. Oddly, I watched Fox News do the same to CA Senator hopeful Carla Fiorini. In both cases, no specifics are ever mentioned on their proposals, just vague waves at "waste and fraud" without ever addressing the problem with any sort of actual solution. It's scary that people are following for false platitudes. I'm reminded of the Last days from the Bible where false prophets will speak and ruin us. Sound familiar? A special shout this week to Carl Palidino who spoke so eloquently about gay rights (insert sarcasm here) on numerous broadcasts was indeed found to be the owner of two gay night clubs. Awesome.

BANKS- Proving that these bastards are trying to drive all of us into slavery, the fallout from the mortgage crisis still reverberates with the shutdown of the foreclosure market in 22 states and the investigation of misdoings in all 50. BOA stocks are expected to plummet in the wake of this scandal, with other banks to follow. The stock market stands to dive soon, the 11,000 barrier a head wall that may be unscaleable, (all stock market crashes ever have happened when the dow rose to high for its good, crossed a mythic barrier and the whole thing drops like a stone. The number for the last crash for 14,000). With the banks roiling, a new crash may happen. There is also talk of some sort of protection bill that will save the banks from lawsuits over this crisis. That cannot be allowed to pass. The legalization of the government stealing our homes will not stand.

MEDIA- Thank God the Chilean miners got out because if I have to listen to one more minute about this non story I'm going to vomit blood. I don't care. Mind you, I'm not indifferent to their plight. I'm happy they got out. But this smoke screen went on for so long that we missed important stories such as the discovery of scud missiles in Syria or the explosions that ripped through an underground base in Iran or the Stuxnet virus that is crippling computers worldwide. Instead I got to hear about Juan's experience with 32 other sweaty men in a small dank hole.

DEMOCRATS- Yes our winners of this week for their two fisted punch of how to make the base not vote for us in three short weeks. After Don't Ask, Don't Tell was rejected as unconstitutional by a federal judge, Democrats filled an appeal against it. Really? And to make matters worse, Attorney General Eric Holden said that regardless of Prop 19 passing or not, the feds will still arrest anyone with weed. Why not just whip your dick out and piss all over the crowd the next time you speak Obama. This kind of garbage is guaranteeing a loss in three weeks. It was recently reported that a giant weed cartel was broken up, arresting a writer for High Times and a Hip Hop mogul. Wow I feel safe now. Sure glad that whole terrorism thing is done and over. If the government was really interested in stopping waste, here's a good placer to start. Except they've said, hell no. Which is what I think a lot of your voters will now do come November. Congratulations for letting fascism take hold here. You are indeed douchebag of the week.