TOP FIFTEEN MOVIES OF 2013

It was a great year for movies which is why I had to go from a top ten to a top fifteen and I haven't seen all the movies on many critics best of list. So you won't see Captain Phillips, 12 Years a Slave, Her, or Dallas Buyer's Club on here which had I seen then, they might have made this a top twenty list instead.

15)The Bay- Contrary to what some think, this is not a documentary about Michael Bay, but one of the few found footage films that doesn't suck out loud. Directed brilliantly by ace director Barry Levinson, the footage is pieced together from various sources after an ecological disaster that decimated a small town and covered up by the government. Part horror movie, part wake up call to stop pollution, this movie was well shot and very scary. A must see for horror fans.

14)White House Down- Of all the over the top action movies this year, this one was the best. Channing Tatum stars as a secret service wannabe who ends up having to save the President, well played by Jamie Foxx, from a terrorist group who has taken over the White House. The script is loud and brash and very funny at times. It got slaughtered in the box office as the very similar themed flick, Olympus Has Fallen, came out months before and was essentially the same movie. This one was better and did not have Gerald Butler who I still don't know why he is a star. If you like your action fast and funny, give this one a shot.

13)Machete Kills- This movie is really stupid, way over the top to the point of ridiculousness and is borderline insane. I also enjoyed it more than just about every other film I say this year. It was really funny, and by that I mean if you find someone's intestines being ripped out and thrown into a helicopter rotor funny, then this is the movie for you. Danny Trejo continues to fascinate me and Mel Gibson, yes that one, is awesome in this movie, playing his first bad guy and relishing the part. The movie promises a sequel of Machete in Space, looking like a bad Moonraker clone, but considering how poorly this one did, I have little hope of ever seeing it which is too bad because I would be there opening weekend.

12)The Hobbit 2- I really liked the first Hobbit no matter what anyone says. I did not find it as meandering as some did and enjoyed the new 48 fps rate that looked awesome on the big screen but had some blurring issues and rain looked really, really fake, as if the cast was being sprayed with a garden house. This time, Peter Jackson fixed all of that and created a lean, mean story which had lots of character development, introduction to new and familiar faces, like Orlando Bloom's Legolas, and lots and lots of Smaug. Martin Freeman continues to grow as Bilbo and watching him face off against the voice of Sherlock Holmes is fun on so many levels. I cannot wait for the last in this trilogy.

11)VHS 2- Another found footage film that was really well done and just as good as the underappreciated original. While the nudity has been toned way done from the first one, the stories are better crafted mainly because serious directors signed up for this one including the directors of films like The Raid and The Blair Witch Project, both of which have some of the stronger stories in this anthology. The best is a documentary being filmed about some sort of weird Asian cult that gets weirder and weirder as it goes. It's unnerving. Watch at night by your self at your own peril.

10)Spring Breakers- Of all the movies I saw this year, this was the biggest surprise. If you told me a film with Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens would be this fantastic I would have asked if you just returned from Colorado and how the pot smoking tour went. This was one of the best shot movies from ANYONE this year and the fact that it was a movie about four teens becoming bank robbers under the tutelage of a corn rowed James Franco, spells out how rare that had to be. This movie should have been nominated for best cinematography, as the night scenes are stunningly shot and even the scenes of nothing more than a bus driving down a bridge are done in a superior way. I cannot emphasize how much I liked this film and will be keeping an eye out for more by director Harmony Korine, who shockingly is male despite the name and is best known for writing Larry Clark's masterpiece, Kids. For a first film, this guy is someone to watch out for.

9)Inequality For All- The only documentary on this list this year, this one by Robert Reich was brilliant and fascinating. Part biography, part life lesson about the growing inequality gap in this country, this film is a wake up call for any who cannot see the writing on the wall. Reich goes into great detail why the minimum wage needs to be raised, why the middle class creates jobs, not rich douchebags, and how Republicans are destroying the planet (and some Democrats). He calls out Obama for being a corporatists, as is most of Congress, leading to the proto-fascist state we live in now. This is a must see for every American and schools should be showing nationwide. They won't because Tea Party morons would complain to the high heavens about government force feeding their kids commie beliefs or some equally ridiculous notion. This country is doomed and this film explains exactly why.

8)Antiviral- Another first time director, David Cronenberg's son Brandon, proves to be a chip off the block with this sickening look at celebrity worship. As I write this, some people out there are getting massive amounts of plastic surgery to look like their favorite star. In the end, they usually look more freakish than star. This film goes a step further and asks the question would people want to get the same diseases as their worship fantasies go? Want a cold that Brad Pitt has? Step right up. When a guy working the black market angle infects himself with something beyond deadly, he races against time to find out how to save himself in really icky, Cronenberg, kind of ways. This is not for the faint of heart, but if you make it to the end, you will be thinking about it for weeks afterward.

7)Star Trek- The sequel got a lot of flack for not revealing that SPOILER ALERT, Benedict Cumberbatch was really Khan, but ignored the fact that this was a thrilling movie even if it was kind of a rip off of Wrath of Khan. Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto continue to do great work as Kirk and Spock and Karl Urban as McCoy steals every scene he is in. Some in the cast like Anton Yelchin's Chekov get short changed for screen time but every one else is in fine form in this action Sci-fi adventure. Those that missed it on the big screen lost out big time.

6)John Dies At The End- Don Coscarelli is one of my favorite directors and we once tried to get his film Phantasm 2000 made, which for unknown reason could never get the five million needed to make it, which is too bad because the script was awesome and would have had Reggie Banister and Bruce Campbell together which is horror nerd heaven. His latest from a allegedly unfilmable book is a masterpiece which describes what happens when a drug known as "soy sauce' alters not only consciousness but reality as well. It's messed up and barely coherent but at the same time awesome and funny. If you like cult movies, try this.

5)This Is The End-One of the funniest movie this year has Seth Rogan, Jay Barachel, James Franco and his friends playing fictionalized versions of themselves when the apocalypse hits LA. This film is hilarious from start to finish with each playing to the hilt themselves times ten, with Jonah Hill's over nice routine masking an evil center a fantastic role. Even Michael Cera who has a small role as a coked up douchebag version of himself, makes every second count as he is funny every moment he is on screen. This film is a laugh riot. Don't miss it.

4)American Hustle- Loosely based on the true story of the Abscam con run by the FBI, this film crackles with energy and will be getting a few Oscars from the cast and/or director. Of all the films I saw this year, this one had the best cast overall and one of the best directed for sure. Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence have solid shots at winning as well as for best director and best picture. Watch the awful wigs everyone is wearing, the low cut dresses that Adams practically does not wear and think Oscar.

3)Gravity- This was hands down the best directed movie I saw all year. Considering only two actors are in the movie, that's saying something. The story of Sandra Bullock trying to survive adrift in space is frightening and thrilling and the way it is shot, you will feel as if you are right next to her. Alphonzo Curon should win for best directing because no other film was even close.

2)Anchorman 2- Not only was the film hysterical but was a biting satire at the news today. Will Farrell continues to amaze me with his range, but playing this lovable buffoon is one of my favorites. According to this movie, Ron Burgandy is why news sucks so bad these days and that is really funny to a news junkie like me who sees how bad it is every day. This was the funniest movie of the year.

1)The Wolf Of Wall Street- Martin Scorsese is one the greatest directors ever. His latest is Goodfellas on Wall Street and it works. Leo DiCaprio is awesome in the lead and Jonah Hill gives one of his finest performances to date. Following the life of failed stock broker, Jordan Belfort, it's a rags to riches to still pretty rich tale of greed, hookers, coke and Quaaludes. Many complain about the excess shown but that's the point of the film. It shines a mirror on us all and shows us that many of us would have done the exact same thing Belfort did. Who would pass up the opportunity to make hundreds of millions of dollars a year, even if the work was slightly shady? Few of us. But some do turn down that role and one of the reason Belfort fell was due to their efforts which included God because some of the stuff that happens to Belfort can only be described as true acts of nature. I won't spoil it here but when you see the incredible amount of bad luck Belfort suffers from through random chance, you have to wonder if God didn't look down and say ENOUGH! This was the best movie of the year and one everyone should see.