Thursday, May 21, 2015

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: BANKS AND GOVERNMENT REGULATORS

Banks have been regularly screwing us for decades now. Now it came out this week that much like I have been writing about for years now, they are rigging various markets to their own advantage. Six of the world's largest banks have been fines a paltry $5.9 billion which sounds like a lot until you realize they made that in the time it took you to finish this sentence. Our new AG has proven every bit as ineffective as I suspected as not one, NOT ONE person has been arrested over this. That may change over time but rest assured that even if someone does go to jail, it will be some lowly patsy and not anyone of any importance. Let's see those runner ups.

10)Bill O'Reilly- I have always found O'Reilly to be a giant blowhard who screams over people he doesn't agree with and while he isn't wrong 100% of the time, when he is wrong, they are doozies. This week it came out that his daughter accused of him of dragging his now ex-wife by the neck down the stairs during an argument when he wasn't aware his daughter could see everything. He is of course denying everything, but as he is a proven liar time and time again (winning a Peabody, Brian Williams level of bullshit reporting) his word means little. Who watches this asshole and thinks "I can trust him?" Grow up people and start thinking for yourselves.

9)Britany Spears and Iggy Azaleas new song "Pretty Girls"- While hardly a fan of either, this new song of theirs is quite awful. Other than some random critic who loves it, and shouldn't be reviewing music as a result, it has been panned universally by most and rightfully so. Auto tuned to death and musically inept, is this where music is headed? Who listens to a song like this and says, "that's awesome." Tone deaf people apparently. There is a lot of new music out there that is quite good, like Hozier, Adele, and St. Vincent. This crap needs the heave ho.

8)Bristol Palin- This waste of space had her wedding called off at it was reported that her military fiancé might still be married. This family is the equivalent of the Beverly Hillbillies, especially after their huge brawl last year at a party, in which the entire family seemed involved. With her idiot mom still flirting with disaster and a presidential run, they won't leave the public eye any time soon even if we beg them to.

7)Bob Kraft- Demonstrating once and for all that rich people stick together, Kraft unbelievably gave up fighting against the one part of the punishment from Deflate-gate that even the most hardened anti-Pats fan thought was out of line. Why give into a fine and loss of draft picks when even the league said you did nothing wrong? An alleged back room deal may have been made with Brady but we will see, as Brady has said he will fight tooth and nail against the charges which they still have almost no evidence against him and may sue if the ruling goes against him. I expect his suspension will be lowered to one or two games and all will continue on with the NFL acting like most businesses out there by trying to make the rich owners happy.

6)Anti-Pats fans- I would like to give a big FU to everyone complaining about Brady and the "cheating" Pats. I have said this before but I will repeat myself: THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF WRONG DOING BY BRADY! All the have is circumstantial evidence, every email and text sent by Brady to the two now fired locker room employees (as that's how that stuff works, it doesn't magically disappear from their phones) and no video evidence of deflation or that Brady asked them to deflate the balls past normal levels. This is a classic witch hunt done by teams that are pissed they keep losing to the Pats and want amore level playing field rather than, I don't know, getting a better team or coach. But that requires money and most of these rich douchebags, Rick Snyder I am looking at you, do not want to spend the money and would rather do this instead. Can we please let this go already?

5)Vladimir Putin- In another vain attempt to prove his masculinity, Putin played hockey versus the pros and "scored" eight goals in the lamest hockey game ever. This is Kim Jung Un level of bullshit. Hell, the Holyfield/Romney looked better than this. I hate when world leaders attempt to do this (Obama playing basketball comes to mind as for a black man he is terrible at the game. Must be the white half), because it makes them look even lamer than usual. Stick to screwing up the planet, guys.

4)Duke Energy- These assholes are back in the news again apparently because as expected they have taken their sweet ass time cleaning up the rivers they have polluted throughout NC. The government recently fined them billions of dollars in fines and clean up costs, but as the EPA has lamented, did nothing to stop slurry ponds from existing near waterways and reservoirs. If the TPP passes, which heads to the Senate again today and tomorrow, with a near certain passage, it heads to an uncertain future in the House where 100% of the democrats there have pledged to vote against it and may be joined by Republicans who either don't like the job losses that will occur in their districts or just because Obama likes it. Expect more problems like this when corporations gain complete control of our lives.

3)James T Reynolds- Whenever someone asks why I almost never give to charities, especially cancer ones, here's why. This dick ran four charities, which took in $187 million in funds and then spent 99% of it on himself, including trips, luxury vehicles and other expenses. Now he, his ex-wife and son are all facing charges for theft. Good. It didn't help this week that noted scientist Linus Pauling same out this week (I know I thought he was dead too) and said 90% of the cancer research out there is junk science propagated by Big Pharma which wants their monopoly on "cures." He acknowledged what I already knew that cannabis oil has been shown to have tremendous potential for curing all sorts of cancer, but as it would be cheap and effective, Big Pharma has no interest in it as they cannot make a huge profit on it. Beware cancer cures from the mainstream, it may be worse than you think.

2)Marco Rubio- This guy is clearly not ready for prime time. After last year's "I am so thirsty" moment, comes this bon mot that is tripping up the GOP. When someone asks you if going into Iraq was a mistake, you say YES IT WAS! After Jeb Bush floundered badly last week, you'd think they would have gotten the same memo Hillary Clinton did by answering that question correctly by stating she made a mistake and wouldn't do it again. Kudos to her for at least showing something of a brain. Rubio however, on Fox News of all places, danced all over the place as a clearly frustrated Chris Wallace asked him over and over again if it was a mistake which he refused to do. This is your front runner guys? Pundits have claimed that this was a trick question and that going into Iraq wasn't that big an error and that the White House clearly didn't cherry pick information, even though that is exactly what happened. You cannot rewrite history no matter how much you want to guys. Getting rid of Saddam is causing all the problems we have in the Middle East today and the Bush administration is 100% to blame. Plenty of people including Scott Ritter and Valarie Plame and her husband to name a few, said loudly the information was garbage but after the traitor Colin Powell said differently, most of us believed him because we thought he had integrity. Turns out he was a typical GOP moron.

1)Banks and government regulators- Yet another example of wrong doing in which no one is really punished other than a slap on the wrist and a stern scolding. Yeah, that'll teach them. Six banks got caught rigging foreign currency markets, which I have been telling people about for years now. The usual bout of thieves are involved including HSBC, Royal Bank of Scotland, JP Morgan Chase, Citigroup, Barclays and Bank of America all of which pay a nominal fine and might see a few low level people get arrested but out government, through corporate stooge Loretta Lynch, has said there is no evidence higher ups had any idea what was going on. Right and Chris Christie wasn't involved in Bridge-gate either. How stupid does she think we are? Of course the big guys knew it and made money of it, but as we live in a plutocracy, good luck proving any of that. All of this may be moot after June 5th when Greece runs out of money and $76 trillion in derivatives tied to the Euro come into play. If Greece does default, the effects could be catastrophic if the derivative market goes under and with it the world economy. The banks are playing with our very existence and the best we can do is this kind of crap. Enjoy what comes after for not paying better attention America. Congratulations Banks and our piss poor regulators because you are indeed douchebag of the week. Have a good Memorial Day everyone and I will try to post something next week but do not be surprised if there are no new columns until May 31st. The Warmonger will return.

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