You know things are not going your way when even Fox news can't keep a straight face when you lecture Obama about Iraq. The balls on this guy, along with a parade of losers like McCain, Rice, Kristal who seem to have no knowledge of what happened from the last Iraqi war which is odd as they are the assholes who helped sell a false narrative in the first place and really should be in jail. Let's see those runner ups.
1)Hillary Clinton- It's like she's trying to lose at this point. This woman had a really bad week. Her TERRIBLE book, which appears to have been written by a spastic three year old, bombed this week, dropping out of the Amazon top ten in it's first week. Everyone I know who has read it, and doesn't hate Hillary, says it is the worst book they've ever seen. It reads like fiction with terrible prose so bad it might as well as started with "It was a dark and stormy night." It contains the part where she says she was "dead broke," which is so not true. Yes, she was deeply in debt which is not the same as dead broke when you have ample opportunity to make it all back. Then, it what could be a moment of pure political suicide, said confiscation of guns may be the only way to keep the nation "safe." First off, crime has been dropping for decades, unlike places like Australia where the opposite is occurring, and they have no guns. Their own gun statistics say our crime rate with guns is less than theirs, go figure. More guns equal less crime. Shocker. If you want people not to vote for you in droves, say you hate guns. This is to the democrats what anti-gay legislation is to the Republicans- death by votes. Someone needs to tell this woman to shut up already and start moving left, except on gun control, if she wants to win. If not, the loss of Eric Cantor is something she needs to weigh heavily. According to what I've seen, she's not as popular as the polls make her out to be.
2)J-Lo- Speaking of crashing and burning, yet another pop star from yesterday released a new album which thudded to the ground with a tremendous splat. Joining Kanye West, who was recently booed off the stage at Bonnaroo, Jay-Z, whose latest tour is dying even with Beyoncé, and Mariah Carey, whose latest album died a painful death, Jennifer Lopez's latest was universally panned and widely ignored. Despite the fact that J-Lo is an excellent dancer and a decent actress, her musical ability is somehow worse than a combination of Yoko Ono, feedback and a cat in heat. She had a song off one of her previous albums that literally sounded like a car alarm going off. She can't sing. Please stop. The rest of us who love music beg you to do something, anything else.
3)Phillip Chism- This 14 old is a prime example of why I think the death penalty for juveniles is sometimes a good thing. This waste of space, raped and murdered his teacher, with all the callousness of a hardened criminal. This week, while in a juvenile institution in MA, he almost did it again to a female worker. He somehow got her alone when he proceeded to beat her savagely. Others intervened before he could do anything else, but this kid is clearly dangerous and will be forever. Why should we be taking care of someone who clearly cannot be rehabilitated? I know he is 14, but spending a fortune to keep him alive seems stupid when that's same money could go to someone who actually deserves it. This country needs to have serious discussion about our legal system.
4)Chelsea Clinton- It's good to be the daughter of a President. Despite the fact that she sucks at reporting, NBC news has kept her in the payroll for the past few years to the tune of $600,000. This year she will do a total of four pieces for that salary. WTF? Her stories are insipid nonsense, what they call "puff pieces," to the amount of $150,000 per. Nobody in news gets that kind of money and considering how bad she is, one wonders why NBC keeps her around. It drives me nuts when I see stuff like this, but as someone who worked in network TV, with savage employment cuts and horrifically bad pay, now I know where all the money goes. Just like life, money trickles up.
5)The Redskins AND the patent office- Here is case where both sides are acting kind of douche. Dan Snyder has to wake up and realize that the name has to go because at this point it is an embarrassment. The patent office, on the other hand, has to stop acting like the Gestapo and demanding things like this, that could have serious repercussions for other franchises, like the Cleveland Indians or Atlanta Braves, while also restricting free speech. Either way, the name has to go, Dan. Face facts already.
6)Janet Yellen- This week, the FED grandma did a stand up routine that killed. Or it would have had she been trying to be funny. With a totally straight face, Yellen said things like the economy is getting better (it isn't), housing is improving (also untrue), and jobs were coming back (that pay nothing). The best was when she inflation was too low and needs to be raised to risk deflation. Even the MSM howled at this as fuel and food are skyrocketing, but as the CPI doesn't include those, she technically didn't lie. However, as tuition and even health care is going up, up, up, most have noticed the real inflation rate is hovering right now between 8-11%. Housing stats are falling for the eighth straight month, and the government, having used the government shut down and the cold weather as excuses, are struggling to invent a new situation to explain housing falling still. Good luck with that. Yellen is either a liar, incompetent or incredibly stupid. Your pick.
7)Scott Walker- I hate Scott Walker. They should have thrown him out of office first chance they got, but the people of Wisconsin are borderline retarded and didn't during the recall. Now it comes out that Walker benefitted from outside Superpacs which he directly contacted during this whole ordeal, illegal in Wisconsin. The FBI is investigating. If there is a God, this ass will be in jail by this this time next year. He won't, but I can dream.
8)ISIS- These douchebags are going to get a lot of Muslims dead. Can we please round up all the extremists from all religions, drop them at Meggido, and just let them duke it out? Last man standing gets their own island to run as they wish and leave the rest of us alone. Until they attack us and then we wipe them out too. There is no reasoning with these people, which was a central theme in the Train your Dragon movie, which was awesome by the way. Not the usual, talk will solve every problem philosophy most kids movies have. It's also true. You can't make peace with people who want you dead. It's you or them. And until we understand that, these kinds of dicks are going to ruin it for the rest of us. Because of this, oil is going up as speculators wet themselves every time anything happens in the Middle East which is always. It's why gas had been at mid three dollars for years. If these guys get their way, expect more war, more death, more money spent. Cool.
9)IRS-I still don't think there is a scandal here, but the IRS is all but saying there is due to a stunning lack of concern over a big deal. With the witch hunt going on from Issa's office, it came to light that several hard drives crashed, and tens of thousands of emails cannot be recovered. They do know that email's are stored on servers, not computers right? It seems awfully convenient that Lois Lerner, along with eight others under investigation all had computer crashes that made these emails unrecoverable. Why did the company Sonasoft not have copies of the emails, as they were contracted to do? Why does the IRS destroy their own internal emails every six months, but I have to have seven years of returns? If nothing is going on, they certainly are making it look like the exact opposite.
10)Dick Cheney- Cheney should be behind bars for leaking Valarie Plame as a NOC, 9/11 questions such as why did he tell the air force to stand down as the hijacked plane was approaching the Pentagon, or even shooting his friend in the face while drunk. The fact that under his Presidency, as he was the real power behind the throne, he destroyed this nation in every way possible. For him to get up and give any advice about anything is hubris to the nth degree. However, even conservatives couldn't get behind him, unless you were named Limbaugh or Hannity who were just as wrong as the politicians were. He got eviscerated on Megan Kelly, who went two for two this week when she also commented that Dinesh D'Souza had lost his mind for comparing the US to a child molester. Many asked what gave this guy the right to give advice in Iraq when every single thing he predicted was wrong. EVERY SINGLE THING. Would you hire a bookie who was always wrong? Of course not. So congratulations Dick Cheney, you are indeed douchebag of the week.