Sunday, January 29, 2012

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: NEWT GINGRICH AND HIS IDIOT SUPPORTERS

Slow week on the douchebag meter. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Iran- Not that the MSM reported any of this, but three foiled attacks by Hezbollah, an Iranian proxy, were tried in three separate countries: Azerbaijan, Indonesia and, most recently Argentina. All were stopped as all eyes are on anything connected with this rouge state. The Iranians are currently voting on a bill that would stop all exports of oil to EU nations, well ahead of schedule and something that could wreck the world economy. Another ratchet in an increasingly unstable region. War is inevitable or Iran gets a nuke and the whole area destabilizes. Neither option is palatable. For those out there claiming Iran only seeks peaceful use of their nuclear program is living in a fantasy world. Iran is trying to get nukes as it would be in their best interests to do so. The world sees when places like Pakistan and North Korea are treated differently than Libya or Iraq. The difference is obvious. If Iran wants to be the big boy on the block it must either develop WMD or bow down to the Great Satan. Which do you honestly think they are going to choose? Iran is a definitive threat. The bad part is that we have waited way too long to do much about it.

2)MSM- The news organization as of late seems to be locked into this God awful election cycle, more circus than presidential. The nominees are tearing themselves apart and, with it, the Republican party. It is unlikely to survive in it's entirety later than the next election as it is being pulled in three different directions: The Tea Party, the Establishment and the Radical Right Evangelicals. You can't espouse state freedom while simultaneously calling for an end to abortion and gay marriage. Sorry, folks, that just doesn't work. You want freedoms but only the ones you find acceptable. That's called fascism and you are all supporting it. If you want gun laws to shoot up keep voting for the GOP because they WILL come for your firearms faster than the democrats at this rate. And through all of this the media remains silent about a lot that goes on overseas, the failing Euro, the possibility of a huge war with Iran, the lie that things are getting better, and so on. The news is nothing more than propaganda. Turn it off and search for the truth on your own. It's out there if you look.

3)The American People- I watch a show called Shark Tank and am amazed at either how great the invention really, or how bad an idea it is. But once in a while comes a good idea hampered by the idiot trying to sell it. Last night there were two. I've done sales for a good part of my life and was quite good at it until my illness forced me to quit so I know a little about what I'm talking about. One guy claimed to be a great salesman and was trying to sell a how to sell an ap and book. Not a bad idea. But his ability to sell was brought into question as to why he wouldn't done more direct marketing to large companies and made the cardinal error in sales which is know when to stop selling. Oversell will kill you everytime and that exactly what this guy did. Mark Cuban made him an offer and he wanted to see if anyone else wanted in first. He snoozed and lost. Typical of many a person today. The other guy was a good Christan man who wanted to sell a truck add on that would allow extra weight to be carried on the back of a pick up. Again not a bad idea. But he wouldn't take any money unless the product was made in the USA. As the sharks correctly pointed out, in today's market, it's not possible. The guy lost out because of his ideals. He had bought into what politicians keep telling us that they'll bring jobs back if only they vote for x or y. The sad truth is that those jobs are NEVER coming back and with it the death of the middle class. Until we stand up and DEMAND more money for the jobs we have, this country is screwed. When the economy falters further this year (or maybe next if the powers that be don't want to it to happen until after the election), our diminishing wages will be not enough to buy food and rent. The last time this happened the Reign of Terror started. That's what the next revolution is going to look like. And we let it happen.

4)Newt Gingrich- The crybaby got spanked at both debates and ridiculed by Romney on the campaign train because of it. The first debate was too quiet, WWWAAAAAAAA! The second was stocked with Romney supporters, WWWAAAAAAAA! I want to build a moon base, WWWAAAAAA. (This is incidentally not a bad idea but the only reason he said this was to pander to the Florida crowd and it plays right into the hands of comedians and his competitors alike). Whoever is supporting this man must go home, get the Drano and drink heavily because you are way too stupid too live. It's only a matter of time before you wind up in the Darwinian awards, you know that guy that "lied" about evolution, you cavemen. Your dragging the party down and making Obama a clear favorite to win in November. So way to go Gingrich and his supporters you are indeed Douchebags of the week.

Friday, January 27, 2012

GINGRICH FALLS FLAT AT SHTICK GETS OLD

There is an old saying that going too many times to the well will be ones downfall. Newt Gingrich has epitomized this all too well at the last few debates. In the debate before last, the audience was taken out of the equations and, without the mob, Newt came across weak and ineffective. His barbs seem pointless and as Brian Williams is a decent newscaster and moderator, his star fell.

So what did Newt do? Cry like a bitch that it was "unamerican" to not let the crowd participate, even though this kind of nonsense is never allowed in a presidential debate. For anyone out there who still thinks Gingrich is a great debater really needs to study the subject a little better before injecting their uninformed opinion on the matter.

Newt was furthered hampered by the fact that Romney hired a debate coach and the effort shows. Romney is crucifying Gingrich in the last two debates. If it were a boxing match, Newt would have had to throw in the towel.

The last debate from Thursday night shows what a difference a moderator makes. Without John King there to screw it up, Wolf Blitzer actually did a reasonably good job. When Newt tried his old hat of blaming the media for everything, Wolf turned the tables on him and reminded him that the question he had just asked was brought up by Newt himself in the last debate and thus fair game. Newt deflated like a balloon as he realized he had no good answer, just deflection. Wolf matched Newt's Dick-fu (thank you John Stewart for that) with his own brand of Moderator-akido and knocked the fat bastard right in keyster. Way to go Wolf on that.

And what did Gingrich do this time? Cry even louder that the room was stocked with Romney supporters. They may well have been you fat fuck as people kind of hate you. And Florida is not going to be as red as South Carolia.

If Romney would only own up to the success of his Health Care program, he might actually be seen as a leader and not a flip flopper. Rick Santorum decided to hammer home anti-Romneycare lies post debate, and Romney failed to deflect any of it. Just to say again for the cheap seats: Romneycare is pretty good. I live in MA. Everyone has access to affordable health care and, regardless of how often it gets repeated, it does not take months to see either your doctor or a specialist. If I called my doctor today, the latest he would see me would be Wednesday, or five whole days from now. If it was an emergency he would see me sooner. I don't know where they get this statistic from that it takes months to see a doctor but is simply not true. Even when I was deathly ill a few years back, I got in to see specialists in less than two weeks. Try that in your state and see how long it takes you. By the way, the lack of GP's has nothing to do with Obamacare but the fact that there are fewer and fewer mostly due to the high cost of both education and medical malpractice insurance. Therefore they go into specialization, which pulls in more money than a GP. Just saying.

Gingrich numbers are plummeting in Florida, because that state is filled with people not originally from there and thus a wider diversification of opinions, rather than South Carolina that seems one step away from declaring a second secession from the Union. Romney is the only real alternative the average Republican has. Gingrich is too dickish, Santorum too religious and Paul too isolationistic for the average voter.

In the end it won't really matter. An Obama/Romney challenge will do little to save this country as both have very similar positions, regardless of what they may say in public to get elected. Both are beholden to big money and until that changes, nothing here ever will.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

THE GOP PRIMARY, IRAN, AND OTHER SIGNS OF IMPENDING DOOM

In what dimension do Republican voters think Newt Gingrich is suitable to be President of the United States? The Tea Party and Evangelicals apparently, who now can only be described as the laughing stock of their own ideals. Evangelicals scream at the sanctity of marriage by denying gay people a fundemental right yet let a scumbag like Gingrich divorce two sick wives while committing a venal sin of adultary. I have no problem with religion persay but the way people practice it as of late has me rethinking that completely. And the Tea Party, in its orginal format, was a hedge against big business and bank bailouts. It is now the Neo-Fascist party with all that's missing are swasticas hanging from the rafters. I HATE the Teatards that are singlehandedly destroying this country. God help anyone who comes up to me telling me they belong to this definitive hate group who I would treat no better than the Klan should they show up at my door.

Gingrich is surging in the polls, demonstrating how far right the GOP has gone. I do feel that should Gingrich win, he will lose badly in a national electiom as I feel strongly that independents, such as myelf, would rather vote for a Herman Cain/Rick Santorium double bill than Gingrich for mayor of Podunk City. The man is dangerous and one of the worst candidiates ever.

A huge bitch slap goes out to watse of space John King, who will certainly appear on my Douchebag of the Week column, for his unmittagated disaster, AGAIN, as moderator of the CNN GOP debate last Saturday. He actually cowed down to Newt as he asked a legitimate question about the allegations from his ex-wife that he's a sleezebag. What a tool.

Gingrich did very badly in last night's debate as the crowd was told to shut the fuck up for once and, without the Colliseum crowd to egg him on, Gingrich came across like a bad borsht belt comic. Of course, he cried foul and said he wouldn't be in anymore debates if that rule continued. WHHHHHAAAAAAAA. Nevermind that such rules are enforced in the Presidential debates where he will get creamed by Obama, regardless what the illeterate GOP crowds might think. Take your toys and go home all ready you fat,lazy bastard. I'm so hoping for a heart attack to come your way.

Meanwhile Iran is steamed that the EU actually had the balls to pass the oil embargo to help stop their nuclear program. With China no longer on the fence, Russia is it's sole ally, and other than their nukes, their military is still rather weak since the collapse of its empire (and one we may be seeing ourselves soon). True the emargo doesn't happen unitl June but it's a still a small step forward. Iran has threatened retaliation but after the USS Lincoln made it through the Straits of Hormuz unharmed, the threat seem extra empty.

Also, recent stas show inflation on the rise, unemployment is still around 23% (acording to Shadowstats) and none of the candidates, Democrat or Republican has any idea how to fix things. The median income is now offically at 26,500 dollars a year, a full fourteen thousand dollars below what you would have made in 1975. How do we let this continue? Oh that's right, we have Gingrich versus Romney telling us being poor is all our fault, nevermind the fact that corporations are stealing from us every day.

Wake up people and see the fascism for what it is. Rand Paul was stopped illegally the other day while on his way to Congress, something the Constitution specifically prohibits. If the TSA treats Congresspeople this way, how do think they treat everyone else?

Fight the Power.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: FRANCESCO SCHETTINO

Easily the douchebag of the week, in a week filled with douchebags. Let's see those runner ups.

1)McKay Hatch- This waste of space, an 18-year-old college student who founded the No Cussing Club in 2007 has latched on to what can only be described as the most pointless argument in a time of real troubles. This moron, who hails from South Pasadena and attends Brigham Young University in Rexburg, Idaho, actually thinks this is a battle worth fighting. Never mind the fact that we have a fascist bent in this country and the ass is helping it along. The fact he attends college makes me very, very sad for our future, although the choice of college is telling in and of itself. I have no problem with Mormons, knowing a few and finding them the nicest people you will ever meet, but when any religion starts forcing their views on you, I call it out.

2)Mitt Romney- After giving a flip floppy version of why he wouldn't release his tax returns at debates and in interviews, his numbers plummeted and he lost South Carolina as a result. Now he says they'll come out Tuesday. Schmuck.

3)Newt Gingrich and South Carolina voters- How the ass won anything is beyond me. Anyone voting for, and this pains me to say, the worst candidate in the GOP field is beyond me. Even funnier, they thunk he'll cream Obama in a national election. If you want to energize the Democratic and independent base to vote en masse against your candidate, go ahead and nominate Captain Tub O Lard because national polls put his popularity somewhere between old milk and Jerry Sandusky. He is a terrible person who will destroy this country. By all means, if you hate America, vote Gingrich. Just don't be surprised if you advertise your support and get beat senseless for it as result.

4)Debate moderators- Can we please get someone, anyone who can ask revelent questions at these things? And stop backing off when Gingrich attacks you for asking a good question. It's your job to be a pit bull not a chihuahua. Watch people like Sam Donaldson from old debates to see how it's done.

5)Iran- Still being belligerent, this week the US rescued (for a third time) Iranian fisherman whose boat was sinking. China has publicly said they will not accept a nuclear Iran so, unlike Russia, their support in an attack won't happen. This means Russia will think twice about doing anything, as China is on their doorstep, and any war could suck them in too, with Russia their target. We are sending an 11 ship strike force into the area in March, daring them to do anything about it. I'm positive they'll blink first, but war still seems like a real possibility this year. If Iran keeps posturing during an election season, all bets are off.

6)Francesco Schettino and Carnival- Captain of the ill fated cruise liner, this dick fled the ship first thing he could, and then said he tripped and fell into the lifeboat. Hope you like jail because that's what your getting. And the cruise line received a black eye as their own staff was too incompetent to handle the emergency. This is what happens when you hire staff from third world countries at ten cents and hour. Let the lawsuits begin. So congratulations Francesco and Carnival cruises, you are indeed douchebags of the week.

Friday, January 20, 2012

BEST AND WORST TV OF 2011

TV for the most part has been a downhill slide these past few years. Every combination of doctor/lawyer/doctor show has been tried and ninety nine percent of them sucked. Let's take a look back and see who fared best and who failed miserably. I will note that only one new show on this list was on broadcast television.

BEST NEW SHOWS OF 2011

5)HOMELAND-The vets of 24 come up with another stellar show about a is he/isn't he terrorist war hero who after eight years as a POW comes home to a wife who thought he was dead, kids who hardly remember him and a near psychotic CIA agent hounding him (and sleeping with him) well played by Claire Daines. A thrill ride that takes lots of twists and turns. Best drama of the year.

4)Wilfred- A underated show about a guy and his next door neighbor's talking dog. Uproariously funny and had the single best ending to any show this year. A must see for any who like oddball comedy.

3)2 Broke Girls- Whitney Cummings has had a great year with this and the better than everyone says Whitney. The boobtastic Kat Dennings and newcomer Beth Behrs are fantastic together and show how a lot of us actually live, paycheck to paycheck, with multiple jobs to make ends meet. And making it funny and relatable while doing so. One of the bets new comedies of the year and the only new show on broadcast TV to make this list. Shocker.

2)Beavis and Butthead- Not only can I not believe that a show off the air for decades could be this funny but that it's Beavis and Butthead being this funny. I hated the film which cut out the best parts of them ragging on godawful videos which is back in full force, including a nightly dig at Jersey Shore, one of the worst shows ever made. I love this show.

1)BBC's Sherlock Holmes- One of the best Sherlock Holmes adaptations ever. Benedict Cumberbatch was brilliant as Holmes while Martin Freeman held his own as Dr. Watson. A must see for any fan of Holmes as well as anyone interested in how to craft a great mystery. The success of this has led to the states trying their hand at it as well for next year. My guess is they screw it up royally but I'm still hoping it won't.


WORST OF 2011-

5)Law and Order SVU- Alright while technically not a new show they did get new cast members to save what can only be described as a sinking ship. And they put lead weights on to help. Without Stabler, the dynamic of this show is out of whack and the two new leads are deadly dull. I stopped watching along with most of their viewers. The fact that it's being pulled for sweeps says this long running franchise may finally be dead.

4)Heart of Dixie- A slapdash soap on the increasingly irritating CW network who seem determined to become the Lifetime network. Even Nikita has lost it's luster and Supernatural the only show I look forward to on the network. This show was awful in every way a show can suck. I feel bad for any guy whose girlfriend forces them to watch this drek.

3)Charlie's Angels- A sad remake that replaced jiggle TV with a serious drama about three ninety pound weaklings who beat the crap out of guys twice the size with nary a bruise. Right. Helpful hint when casting a show like this: make sure the women you hire are hot. Acting skills are not a prerequisite for stuff like this. Another failure in a long line of remake failures. Next year's awful award will almost certainly go to the serious remake of The Munsters. Christ.

2)Ringer- Just missing the top spot this was the worst produced show I have ever seen on a major network. The twin sequences were the worst directed scenes ever in the last fifty years. I watched the old 1970'd Bionic Woman episodes lately which had two Jamie Summers in it and let me tell you, with a budget a fraction of what Ringer's was, they did a much better job. The Ringer scene which gets worst moment in TV last year was on a boat, next to an obvious green screen where Gellar spouted nonsense dialogue to the back of her head played by an obviously different actress. Horrid.

1)Playboy Club- How do you make TV even less titillating than Charlie's Angels? Make a show set in the 60's about a male oriented organization and turn it in a languid soap than men will hate. The result is cancellation in two weeks. A tone deaf show set in a time period that worked well in cable but in primetime. This and the soon departed Pan Am will end this sorry trend.


On a side note, one of the worst movies from last year and should be added to my list is Bucky Larson. A terrible unfunny comedy. Adam Sandler should be ashamed for writing it. As a fan of his previous work, he starting to lose his touch because almost everything he did last year was awful. Try to do something else Adam because I know you are capable of better. This stuff lately is just lazy.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

PROFITS, WAR AND THE SOUTH

My upcoming douchebag of the week column is going to be epic. There were a lot of stupid, stupid people this week and the week's not over yet.

Skank of America reported a two billion dollar profit for the fourth quarter of last year. Must be SO hard to get by on only two billion dollars profit. And you were still planning on charging people five dollars for the use of the own card because of hard times? Please, you guys suck.

Benjamin Netanyahu has publicly said, to the dismay of the US and his own cabinet, that Iran is seeking a nuclear device and Israel was not about to let that happen. They have good reason to fear such an occurrence as, contrary to what the peacenicks claim, Iran has threatened to wipe Israel from the map. Israel rightly feels that should Iran get a nuke, they might use it in downtown Tel Aviv. Jerusalem would be safe as their holy shrines would be affected in such a blast and even I don't think they are that heretical. The rest of Israel however would be open game to an enterprising terrorist. It is unlikely such an attack would come by missile but more likely by smuggling it into wherever they wanted to be. They could even do it across the country here and throughout Europe and then blackmail us into submission. What would you do if you knew nukes were all over every major city in the world? It would not be a pleasant scenario because with both options you would have squat for options.

I am not recommending or even condoning war. However, we must look at the worst case scenario and decide which is worse. I honestly feel, Iran getting a nuke is far worse. I also know that I trust the government to tell me the truth about anything as much as betting on the Cubs to win the World Series next year. But this time is different and an actual threat may be emerging, not the manufactured ones of the last fifty years. Are we prepared to fight a real war, one with real consequences not seen since WW2?

On a brief note, new "evidence" keeps coming up about FDR knowing about Pearl Harbor before it happened. Bunk. Now I'm not suggesting that this means I don't believe the new evidence is true: it might. But in no way was FDR involved. Why? It would be so alien to everything we know about the man as to almost suggest he was dangerously schitzophrenic. FDR fought hard for the common man and was notoriously anti-corporation. He once sent the national guard to arrest a CEO. Imagine Obama doing that today. You can't, because he would never do something like that. The reason we have SS and a better way of life is because of this man. Why would someone like that get us into a fake war to enrich people he hated, ones that tried to overthrow him in 1933. That flies in the face of reason. If the evidence is real, then maybe the powers that wanted him out withheld that information from the president forcing his hand to war. Which sounds more reasonable?

The South is proving their irrelevancy once more, along with the increasingly unstable religious right. Gingrich is on the rise again as Romney falters for, well being Mitt Romney. It's hard to put being a Mormon Billionaire to rest when that's all anybody sees when they look at you. Meanwhile, Gingrich's ex-wife has recorded a tell all interview to be aired tonight on Nightline. Hope it all comes down for him because I really, REALLY hate Newt. A lot. He's fake, unpleasant and so condescending. Yet the South loves him because he's a Christian (which is about as much as I am a Black Jew). Meanwhile Paul languishes, mostly because this conflict with Iran is making his isolationist stance very unpopular with republicans. Too bad, I like a lot of his ideas, just not so much his desire to get rid of things like SS. Rats.

Iran fisherman were rescued again today by the US military after their boat sank. If we leave like the Iranians want there are going to be thousands of dead fisherman at this rate.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

WAR WITH IRAN LOOMS AS CONFIDENCE IN ECOMONY DROPS

It was revealed today the it wasn't the Obama administration that killed a joint drill between the US and Israel but Israeli PM Netenyahu who pulled the plug sending relations between the two allies even lower. It is widely known that Israel has a real reason to not let Iran get a nuke and will attack them to stop them which may in actuality be the best case scenario.

The alternative is to let Iran get a nuke and watch the whole area degenerate into a hot zone. Saudi Arabia is already making clandestine transactions with Russia for nuclear materials and I'd be willing to bet Turkey is doing the same. If everyone in that are gets nukes its only a matter of time before some yahoo uses one. Iran could smuggle nukes into the US or Israel and effectively blackmail us about oil prices on the nearby straits. Do you really think that won't happen? Or more importantly CAN'T HAPPEN? I didn't think so.

If Iran gets nukes the stability of the planet is in jeopardy. Can anyone out there say with a straight face that the world is a safer place now that North Korea has nukes? If we didn't tell Japan in no uncertain terms that we would defend them (not to mention the 30,000 troops in South Korea) a nuke arms race would have started. The Saudis aren't going to let us fight their battles for them. Nether are the Turks.

Israel will go it alone of they have and it looks like that's exactly what they plan to do. If they think we are dragging our feet, and we are, they'll tell us to piss off. The worst part is we'll get dragged into this regardless of whether we join in or not. Better to help than wind up in some Pearl Harbor-like scenario again.

If Iran tests a nuke this year, Obama loses the presidency. And the next President, most likely Romney, will not stand by and do nothing. War either way people. Get used to it.

In truly bad news for the GOP a recent poll said that eighty percent of America says rich people should pay more in taxes. Yet the GOP continues to say and do the opposite. Good luck using that in your campaigns.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: HALEY BARBOUR

A shockingly douchebag free week for the most part. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Captain of the Consta Concordia and Carnival Cruise Lines- For anyone wishing to relieve those magic moments when the Titanic sink, their wish was granted had they been aboard the ill fated Italian cruise liner that hit a rock off the coast shortly after departure. As the ship sank, the captain hightailed it to higher ground, passengers be damned. What a coward.

The captain, Francesco Schettino, gave the order to abandon the ship as it was miles off course and then took off in a lifeboat. The captain and the ship's first officer Ciro Ambrosio had both been detained in custody. The ship had apparently approached the waterway the wrong way and had struck a reef on its left hand side causing it to take in a tremendous amount of water very quickly. The captain fled the ship immediately as passengers remained on board for several more hours until rescuers were able to get all aboard off. To make matters worse, no one seemed to know what to do and chaos was rampant. Carnival's going to get the bejesus sued out of them for while the responsibility for abandoning ship was the Captain's alone, the lack of preparation for a disaster is the cruise lines. Expect this to get ugly in terms on settlements.

2)Rick Santorum- I loathe this dick. I hate anti-gay sentiment and he reeks of it. Plus his sweater vests are kind of gay. Just saying.

3)Newt Gingrich- Oh how the mighty have fallen. With his oh so pleasant personality I'm surprised it took him this long to fall off the charts. He'll be done after Tuesday, along with everyone not named Santorum or Paul. Good. Tell the fat bastard to go home and stay there. We don't like him.

4)Tim Tebow- Okay, he's not exactly a douchebag other than the fact he is WAY too religious for his own good, but it was good to see my favorite team, The New England Patriots, rip Tebow a new one. He was way out of his league and I guess Jesus must have bet big on Brady because other than a stupid interception, he was magic all night. Go Patriots for hopefully another Super Bowl win.

5)Haley Barbour- This soon to be former Governor of Mississippi granted full pardons or clemency to about 200 people, including convicted shoplifters, rapists, burglars, and embezzlers — plus 14 murderers. The roster included several high-profile convicts, including socialite Karen Irby and Earnest Scott Favre, older brother of retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre, both convicted of DUI-related deaths.
Barbour, a former Republican National Committee chairman who almost ran for president last year, says the uproar is overblown, since 90 percent of the people pardoned were already out of prison. “The pardons were intended to allow them to find gainful employment or acquire professional licenses as well as hunt and vote,” Barbour said. Great, just what people want, ex-cons with access to guns. In Mississippi. This guy's political career just ended with a solid thud.

Most of the hoopla is about 26 convicts in particular. Of particular concern are these four, David Gatlin, Joseph Ozment, Charles Hooker, and Anthony McCray. All were convicted murders serving life sentences, but had been working as “inmate trustees” at the governor’s mansion, a privilege granted for good behavior. State Attorney General Jim Hood told CNN that Barbour had violated the Mississippi Constitution by failing to give the public 30 days’ notice before these criminals were pardoned. State law also requires governors to notify victims and their families in advance of a pardon, to give them time to comment. “He’s tried to rule the state like Boss Hogg,” Hood tells CNN, “and didn’t think the law applied to him."

People are understandably pissed. So congratulations Haley Barbour, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

Friday, January 13, 2012

SUPER PACS EXPOSED AS IRAN OIL EMABAGO GOES BUST

Anyone who wishes to look back when the Supreme Court made an awful ruling (technically by bribing a Supreme Court Justice through his wife) about Super Pacs, I correctly predicted the end of the Empire which we have become. Watch the TV in any state facing a primary right now and see how bad the ads have become. Now they can slander with impunity, such as the disgusting Anti-Huntsman ad that decried him for speaking Chinese and having a Chinese adopted daughter. That bastard! But who is behind this. The enterprising folks at Salon have torn back the curtain and exposed the 58 douchebags behind this fiasco. That's right people, 58 individuals are influencing the elections. Democracy is dead. Get used to it because it's too late to doing anything about it. People should have been rioting outside the Supreme Court, demanding their heads on a platter of they didn't reverse it immediately. Instead we got on with the thankfully fading Kardsahians and DWTS and other mind wasting enterprises. The country is stolen so let;s take a look at the people responsible for your eventual enslavement. Enjoy the concentration camps folks because you paid for them with your own money.


Here's one I exposed myself some time ago: American Crossroads, responsible for the reprehensible Anti-Warren ads in MA. Headed by none other than Karl Rove and run by the GOP (shocker), this waste of space has several wealthy donors

The funders:
•Jerry Perenchio-former CEO of Univision. Currently backing Huntsman. Has moderate stances on immigration.

•Bob Perry-Texas multi-millionaire responsible for many 527 groups such as the Swift Boat campaign against Kerry.

•Robert Rowling-Another Texas Billionaire with family oil money. Very anti-gay, anti-abortion.

They will spin their ads against liberals who have "socialistic ideas," and focus heavily on economics, especially against raising taxes in the rich, DUH, and regulatory issues. They rely heavily on attack ads. They will also strike hard against liberal social ideas like abortion or gay rights. One of the most dangerous PAC groups out there.

RESTORE OUR FUTURE- Mitt Romney's baby, this is a shady organization all around with the barest of lines separating the candidate from the PAC without getting arrested.



The funders:
•Ed Conrad-Former Bain Capital executive, Romney's old firm, donated through s shell company before having to come clean during media scrutiny. Not been known as a fundraiser or donor for any political causes until now.

•Steve Lund and Jeremy Blickenstaff-Founders of Nu Skin products. Close friends of Romney.

•John Paulson-Hedge fund billionaire who won big betting against the housing market.

•Paul and Sandra Edgerly-Another Bain crony and his wife.

•Bob Perry-Hedging his bets for the next President and the influence that will bring.

Look for them to rally against regulation stifling job creators and the growing federal government. This group appears to be saving most of its money for the eventual Presidential campaign.


PRIORITIES USA ACTION


The democratic reaction to Rove, it was founded by Bill Burton and Rahm Emanuel. It will operate as the negative ad campaign for Obama.


The funders:
•Jeffrey Katzenberg-Once called the eighty dwarf greedy, this former CEO of Dreamworks is a major funder.

•Service Employees International Union-Two million strong union loyal to the democrats. Interested in keeping the focus on better pay and lack of jobs.


•Fred Eychaner- Chicago media mogul, of Newsweb Corp, he has donated to lots of democratic causes. Believes heavily in gay rights as he is gay himself.

Is already airing ads in South Carolina demonizing Mitt Romney. Will focus heavily on GOP support for tax cuts for the rich, ending Medicare and job outsourcing.


Just thought everyone should know how is behind these ads.

In other news, the oil embargo against Iran has been delayed at least six months and oil prices plunged on that news meaning prices should go down in the next few weeks. However, the Euro continues to struggle s France was downgraded today and may European banks refused to take the deal offered to Greece as part of their restructuring deal, throwing the whole thing into doubt. War still looms as he build hospitals in Georgia and move more troops into Kuwait. Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

TOP FILMS 0F 2011

As the world nears it's end, let's look back at some films that helped us forget, for at least a little while, how bad things really are.

10)Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol- Tom Cruise is back in a big way with the best action movie of the year. Well paced, globe trotting fun as Cruise's Ethan Hunt gets diavowed after the Kremlin goes boom. Accompanied by the uber hot Paula Patton, red hot Jeremy Renner, and uber funny Simon Pegg, this film soars, literally during a sequence on the world tallest building. A must see on IMAX if possible.

9)Harry Potter 7- This book and film series keeps getting better and better, especially as all the actors have grown tremendously into fine thespians. A non stop action thrill ride, this movie delivers the final showdown between Harry and Voldemort to a T. While the first two in the series are the most uneven, and the fifth almost unwatchable, this is the Harry Potter movie for everyone.

8)Paul-Simon Pegg and Nick Frost return in this funny sendup of sci fi films. Literally funny from the minute the movie starts, the was the best comedy of the year for laughs. After the two arrive at the San Diego Comic Con, they decided to rent a RV and see sci fi sites across America. At Roswell, they find Paul (voiced by Seth Rogan and making us forget how bad Green Hornet was) an alien on the run from the government that has been holding him hostage for years. What happens next is a terrific road movie as they pick up a bible-thumping creationist (Kristen Wiig having a stellar year), her protective father in chase, as well as the feds. Uproarious fun.

7)Tucker And Dale Fight Evil- A terrific sendup of slasher films. Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk play the accidentally frightful hillbillies who convince a group of college students they are homicidal maniacs, when in reality they are nothing of the sort. Labine has never been better and Tudyk is his usual solid self. A unique movie in a year of sequels.

6)The Perfect Host-One of my favorites of the year is the tour de force by David Hyde Pierce which is exactly the sort of movie Oscars are made for. Yet no one has recognized how brilliant this film is. A thief breaks into Pierce's house and takes him hostage. What he doesn't realize is that Pierce is a dangerous maniac who quickly turns the table on his unsuspecting prey. What follows is less Hostel than Gene Kelly, as the insane host plays up a party only he can see in his head. And when it's over, so is the thief. The movie has twists and turns you'll never see coming. Quite simply one of the best of the year.

5)The Descendants- Another brilliant film by the reliable Alexander Payne, sorely missed since Sideways. George Clooney may hit Oscar gold with this film playing a father of two, whose wife is in a coma. Once he finds she had been having an affair, he becomes determined to track down her lover and confront him. What follows is touching, funny and sad. Shailene Woodley will hopefully be nominated for her great performance as Clooney's daughter. She is a force to be reckoned with in coming years.

4)Crazy, Stupid, Love-I never expected to like this movie as much as I did. Steve Carell, an actor I had grown somewhat tired of lately, proves me wrong with the great performance as a man divorcing his wife of twenty years as everyone around him spirals out of control in love, unrequited or not. Ryan Goslin is having a great year with this and Drive (which I hear is excellent) as the Lothario teaching Carell how to pick up women. This is not a typical chick flick, so get it today guys. You'll love it.

3)Contagion- The film that will have you forever looking at a bar room bowl of peanuts in a whole new way, this was the best horror movie of the year. A flu pandemic sweeps the world, killing thirty percent of all infected. That may not seem like a high number until you remember there are seven billion people on the planet and thirty percent of even half that is a lot of dead people. Stand out performances and a taut script.

2)Bridesmaids- Kristan Wiig should get an Oscar nod for this fantastic comedy. Wiig plays a girl determined to stay unhappy as she chases everyone close away from her, in the funniest ways possible. John Hamm in awesome as her f$%kbuddy who treats her as such, as well as Mellisa McCarthy as the fearless bridesmaid, who is almost certainly Oscar bound.


And the best film is....................................................

1)Muppets- No film made me as happy this year as this did. Jason Segal knocks it out the park with this awesome film that brings back the muppets after decades gone, with the cast trying to save their old theater form destruction. Great cameos, great music, fun for the whole family.


Honorable mentions- Hugo, Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D, Super 8, Moneyball, Tree of Life, The Artist, The Help, Thor, Drive Angry, the Adjustment Bureau, Limitless, Lincoln Lawyer, Tower Heist, Sherlock Holmes, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Must misses- The Debt (horrific), Dream House

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

WAR WITH IRAN NEARS. ENDGAME APPROACHES.

The news for this story gets worse by the day. Conflicting reports are being labeled around with the London Times reporting that the US and Israel are going to accept a nuclear Iran with a possible atomic test sometime this year. Russia and the US will then work together to stop proliferation from occurring throughout the Middle East. Right. If you believe any of that I have a bridge to sell you.

First, it is highly unlikely that either the US or Israel would ever accept a nuclear Iran. The chances for a nuclear war skyrocket under that scenario not to mention the fact that this is an election year. Obama will lose and badly if Iran tests a nuclear device the year. Do you want to be remembered as the president that allowed Iran to get nukes? Not with Mitt Romney reminding people of it day in and day out. Plus, Iran could blackmail the US into just about anything by threatening the Straits of Hormuz with nuclear weapons backing them up.

No, the London Times story is almost certainly a disinformation campaign designed to lull Iran into a false sense of security. This means that war is imminent, with as of right now, an eighty percent chance of occurring. The good news is that there is only a fifty/fifty chance of the war going nuclear depending on how much Russia is willing to invest in their defense of Iran or Syria. Other countries such as Venezuela and North Korea, and what they decide to do as well will make an important step toward a possible WW3 scenario and nuclear attacks.

This war is going to be ugly and I have a feeling a lot of people are going to die and some cities are going to be destroyed. What comes after will be what will define us as a people. I fear the fascist hand that may be behind all of this, playing off our fears to rule the world.

Everyone out there should prepare for the inevitability of this coming war. If it doesn't happen, the consequences may be actually worse for everyone on the planet. Imagine a world where nukes are everywhere. How long before someone uses them? Trust me it'll be sooner than you think.

2012 may indeed by a turning point for us. The weather is out of whack, war looms, even reports of a resurgence of a swine flu (12 cases in 5 states so far). Stock up and food, supplies and weapons. Even if nothing occurs, better to be safe than sorry.

More as this breaking story develops.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: RICK SANTORUM AND HIS IDIOT SUPPORTERS

A real no brainer this week. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Iran- It's like they want to die and take everyone with them. Never, and I mean never, have I seen a country ask to be annihilated. This past week they threatened the US and Israel with war should they do the unthinkable like sending warships through the Straits if Hormuz, bragged about starting a nuclear weapons program while denying of their existence (talk about speaking out of both side of your mouth), and then to top it all off, said the US rescue of their own people from Somali pirates was a staged event. Yeah, right. These guys are asking to be wiped from the face of the earth and if they keep doing what they are doing, it will be sooner than later.

2)Tim Tebow- I am sick and tied of people wearing their religion on their sleeve. I have no problem with people being religious. I have a serious problem when you force your idiotic beliefs on others. Tim Tebow is getting on my nerves.

3)GOP debates- I used to say there were not enough debates in the past. This is clearly a case of careful what you wish for. There were two debates this weekend within twelve hours of itself. I can summarize the whole thing. Romney- I am going to win because my competition is terrible. Paul-If my foreign policy ideas weren't so out of whack with the GOP I might have had a chance. Gingrich- Bitch and moan about negative ads and the liberal media bias and then blast away at my rivals in the exact same way. Perry- Duh. Huntsman-Say something smart and be ignored because he is a Mormon. Santorum- I hate gay people. Thank God they are over.

4)George Stephonpolos- Worse. Newsman. Ever. His questions in the debate rivaled his equally idiotic attempt four years ago during the democratic debates. Contraception is not being banned anywhere and Ron Paul had nothing to do with the smear campaign against Huntsman or with the racist pamphlets put out twenty years ago with his name on it. Terrible things ae actually happening in this country and this the best questions you could come up with. Even Diane Sawyer looked annoyed.

5)Mother Nature- Last week hundreds of records were broken as warm temperatures soared across the nation. North Dakota was warmer than Miami Florida with temperatures in the seventies. In North Dakota. In January. One day saw over a hundred records broken. The next day over two hundred. But Global warming isn't occurring. Right.

6)Rick Santorum- Considering his last name is Latin for asshole, this should not be a surprise for anyone how has watched this evil man speak. Booed of the stage in NH this week, he is looking at a crushing loss after the worthless Iowa vote. Do people in Iowa have any sort of education or do we just dump the retarded and slow there ad say make a life for yourself? This man is a big business, ultra religious nutbag who would cripple this country if by some fluke he actually became president. Religion is not a part of politics and should never be. I am not for another Taliban/Mullah run like christian state. If that is your goal, feel free to relocate to an island off the coast some where and leave the rest of us alone. Your religious bullshit is getting on my nerves and this comes from someone with decades of religious studies and catholic school and who feels the Bible and other religious books hold the key to salvation. Too bad no one seems to read those parts and focuses on the "I hate X" part. So congratulation Rick and people of Iowa who voted for him. You are indeed douchebag of the week.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

WAR WITH IRAN LOOMS LARGE

The good news about all of this is that Iran is rapidly losing any friends anywhere with their continued belligerence. With Iraq out of the picture, the US and Israel are free and clear to do whatever they have to do to stop them from acquiring a nuclear weapon. Word is, and you heard it here first, that troops and equipment are being sent to Israel, at a to be determined date. Some say January, others say spring. But the fact of the matter is, we are doing it. It is also being called a deployment rather than an exercise, a significant distinction.

From Whiteout Press:

"In preparation for anticipated Iranian missile attacks upon Israel, the US is reportedly bringing its THAAD, Terminal High Altitude Area Defense, and ship-based Aegis ballistic missile systems to Israel. The US forces will join Israeli missile defense systems like the Patriot and Arrow. The deployment comes with “the ultimate goal of establishing joint task forces in the event of a large-scale conflict in the Middle East”."

This is from DEBKA:

"The armies of Saudi Arabia and fellow Gulf Cooperation Council states stood ready Thursday Jan. 5, for Washington to stand up to Iranian threats and send an aircraft carrier or several warships through the Strait of Hormuz into the Persian Gulf. Riyadh has been leaning hard on the Obama administration not to let Tehran get away with its warning to react with "full force" if the USS Stennis aircraft carrier tried to reenter the Gulf or Iran's pretensions to control the traffic transiting the world's most important oil route.

Wednesday night, the Iranian parliament began drafting a bill prohibiting foreign warships from entering the Gulf without Tehran's permission.
debkafile's Washington sources report that Saudi Arabia has warned the Obama administration that Iranian leaders mean what they say; their leaders are bent on provoking a military clash with the United States at a time and place of their choosing, rather than leaving the initiative to Washington. To this end, Iranian officials are ratcheting up their belligerence day after day.
Notwithstanding their military inferiority, the Iranians believe they can snatch a measure of success from a military confrontation, just as the Lebanese Hizballah did in the 2006 war against Israel. In any case, they expect any clash to be limited – at least at first. The two sides will begin by feeling for the opposite side's weaknesses while endeavoring to hold the line against a full-blown war.

America's failure to rise to Iran's challenge will confirm its rulers in the conviction that the US is a paper tiger and encourage them to press their advantage for new gains.
The assessment of British military experts Thursday, Jan. 5, was that the question now is: Who will blink first? Will the US follow through on the Pentagon's assertion that the deployment of US military assets in the Persian Gulf will continue as it has for decades? Or will Iran act on its warnings and block those waters to the entry of American warships?
President Barack Obama can't afford to cave in to Iran, especially while campaigning for reelection in Nov. 2012; Tehran, for its part, has made too many threats to easily back down.
The entire region is now on tenterhooks for the next move, with US, Iranian and Gulf armies on the highest war alert. American and Iranian war planners both accept that their advantage lies in surprising the enemy – without, however, catapulting the Persian Gulf into a full-dress war.
US Navy publications as of Wednesday, Jan. 4 showed a sign of the times: One ran a series of photos of F-18 Super Hornet fighter-bombers standing on the runways of the USS Stennis aircraft carrier ready for takeoff at any moment. Another depicted for the first time ever row upon row of huge bombs in the carrier's hold to show the Iranians what they are taking on.

In the view of debkafile’s military sources, the fact that the US has deployed only one large aircraft carrier in the region does not signify any reluctance on Washington's part to preserve the freedom of navigation in the Strait of Hormuz and the Persian Gulf. There is no longer a need to rush more carriers to a flashpoint in these strategic waters. The US maintains five huge air bases in the Gulf region – two, the Ali Al Salem and Ahmed Al Jaber bases, in Kuwait; the Al Dhafra base in the UAE; and the largest air bases outside the US – Al Adid in Qatar and the Thumrait in Oman.

The concentration of aircraft carriers at any given location is no longer treated as the marker of an imminent US military operation."

Given these troop and equipment movements, a major war is being prepared for. Whether it will happen or not is all up to Iran now. As Russia and Chinese involvement are diminishing by the day, due to Iran's posturing, WW3 is not imminent. A regional war in the Middle East however, is very likely and approaching. Troops being sent to Israel mean we fear a strike either by missile or proxy in the area by Iran and are there to protect our allies. Stay tuned as more comes in.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

GOP SPLITS VOTE AS WAR DRUMS BEAT LOUDER

Yesterday's Iowa caucus show a clear, absolute view: the Republican party is screwed. Evangelicals voted for Santorum, proving once and for all that these idiots are the stupidest people on the planet. In which universe would this asshole make a good President? He's an anti-gun, pro-corporation, backward hick who thinks gay people are the devil and abortion should be illegal ALL the time regardless of the circumstances. This is the guy you want running the big show? Christ on a stick how dumb are you people? Then came the big business cock suckers with their love for Romney, our possible next corporate president. And then Ron Paul with the libertarians. A three way split for the heart of the party. Who will win the heart of the GOP for the next four years is anyone's guess, but this does not spell good things for the GOP.

Their vote is split with Ron Paul supporters feeling the most unloved and most likely to break away to form a third party. The evangelicals and big business will continue to fight, leaving the door open for four more years of Obama. Great.

On the plus side, Obama finally showed some balls and used a recess appointment to get someone to head up the long beleaguered Consumer Protection Agency that the GOP has been dragging their feet on for years. Republicans cried foul as the Senate was technically still in session, as the GOP would call the Senate into order for a few minutes at a time every few days to prevent this from happening. Never mind the fact the Bush did this all the time, including the posting of John Bolton as ambassador to the UN which pissed the democrats off immensely. That thing you feel in the butt, GOPers, is the teeth of this coming back to bite you in the ass. You constantly do things when in power and then proclaim shock, SHOCK, that the democrats would dare to do the same. Stop your whining already, losers.

While all this is going on, Iran has crossed the line for beligerence to absolute stupidity. This past week they closed the straits of Hormuz for a military drill that never happened, said they could do it at any time with ease and than told the US that any attempt to bring back warships into the Persian Gulf, after the USS Stennis left for routine reasons, would be considered an act of war. The world looked at the Iranians with amazement and basically told them to fuck off. The EU responded by passing a vote that would ban oil imports from Iran in all of Europe. The time table is still up in the air for this action but considering that countries like Greece and Italy voted for this (and they get a huge amount of oil from Iran) speaks volumes about how much they have had it with Iran's warlike stance and their chances at getting a nuclear bomb. Even Russia and China will have a hard time defending their actions and because of this, if we attack soon as I expect, the chances for a world war have diminished significantly. This is exactly how not to act when the world is already looking at you like a redheaded step child.

War is coming, sooner or later, and it will be bloody and have effects that will envelop us all. Let's hope the dumb train continues as Iran is getting more and more isolated all the time. Do you think we could exchange our religious dumb asses for Iranians who aren't? We could get all their smart, sane individuals, they get all of out retards and then we can bomb away with little regard for human life.

I can dream.

Monday, January 2, 2012

WORST FILMS OF 2011

Will be doing my Best Of column next week after seeing a few more films such as Cowboys and Aliens, Hangover 2, The Debt and Mission Impossible. But as we are all aware, films this year sucked and sucked hard. I think the quality was slightly better than 2010's slate of utter garbage, but this year fell into the damaged mindset that all we want to see are superhero flicks, remakes and sequels. The best films I saw this past year were almost all original pictures, albeit remakes like Girl With The Dragon Tattoo rivaled the original, perhaps even surpassing it. The good news is that next year looks to be a banner year for films and hopefully I will see less drek than I have been. Some of these films may be from 2010 but are here as I saw them not as they were released.


10)GREEN LANTERN- Easily the worst superhero film this year, it rightfully tanked at the box office. Ryan Reynolds had a bad year with this and the average Change Up. The film looked washed out, in desperate need of a script makeover, and a whole new ending, Hal Jordan spent way to much time on Earth and not enough time learning how to use his powers. Plus, he was an insufferable twit. The producers are still saying a sequel is in the works but I can dream that it is all a cruel hoax.

9/8)JACK AND JILL/JUST GO WITH IT-I like Adam Sandler movies. I own quite a few of them as a matter of fact and usually disagree with the haters about them being funny or not. These films on the other hand were terrible. Jack and Jill just seemed lazy and date, Just With it had Jennifer Aniston in it (otherwise known as the kiss of death) and even the not as bad as feared Zookeeper (produced by Sandler) had Sandler has a very unfunny monkey. Do something funny for God's sake and stop these awful awful movies. Please.

7)WINTER'S BONE- Yes it came out on 2010 and yes it was up for a bunch of Oscar's and yes it was the single most boring films I saw all year. I like slow pictures done by masters like Kubrick or Malick. I think Remains of the Day, a glacial picture, is a work a brilliance. This film looked like a travel guide to Appalachia country. Long shots of nothing done in a way that would have Terrance Malick saying get on with it, this film about a girl looking for her deadbeat father could have been interesting. However, the plot goes nowhere fast with no surprises at all. The Descendants is a great picture about the troubles of family life that I think is very similar to this in many ways. The big difference is that The Descendants had interesting characters in real situations while Winter's Bone felt like a movie and a long dull one at that. Rent only if your having trouble sleeping.

6)I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT-Someone keeps telling Sarah Jessica Parker she's a movie star. I got bad news for both you and Jennifer Aniston: GO BACK TO TV. How many bad films by these two do I have to sit through. Men are presented as worthless, insensitive pricks, a common theme in TV and film that is beyond old already. How would women like it if every show had a dumb blond, a barefoot pregnant wife and a shrew of a female boss? They'd riot. This Sex and the City clone was DOA in the box office so some women out there have taste.

5)TOM HANKS-The usually great actor stumbled badly this year with two craptaculars, Larry Crowne and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Both were unwelcome heartstring tuggers that seemed badly dated and in bad taste, a non-winning combo. Crowne had Hanks as a guy who loses his job, goes back to college and meets cute with Julia Roberts. This would have played fine in 1980, but in today's world this film was pure fantasy and a punch in the face to all the real unemployed out there. Extremely Loud plays fast and loose with a horrible tragedy that seems to be in ultra bad taste to introduce into a fictional movie. Can we wait a few decades before exploiting one of the greatest tragedies in American history? And Hanks, get a better manager or better scripts because you are way above this crap.

4)KIDS FILMS- A horrible year for kids films thanks to the eight million that were at the theater this year. Let's list all the box office disasters, leading up to my number one: Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2, Hoodwinked 2, Hop, Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (why God why?), Mr. Poppers Penguins, Glee: the Movie, Spy Kids 4, Happy Feet 2, Chipwrecked, We Bought A Zoo, and the biggest disaster..........Mars Needs Moms, a 150 million dollar car wreck. Stop making so many kid movies as, you can see from the above list of losers, they are not making you the money they once did. Perhaps if you looked at their quality not quantity you'd make some actual money.

3)THE RITE- What the hell Anthony Hopikins is doing in this lame Exorcist ripoff is beyond me. How do you make exorcisms boring? Watch the film and learn all the tricks to the trade for doing just that. A terrible film.

2)TWEEN FILMS- Every bit as bad as the kids films, were a host of tween based films that, other than the reprehensible Twilight series, died a painful death at the box office. Beastly, I Am Number Four, Abduction, Red Riding Hood, Justin Bieber 3D, Water for Elephants, Prom, Priest, and Footloose all came and went. Twilight,a huge hit, still sucked by introducing the world's worst role model in Bella. Why women aren't getting angry at this waste of space character who is only defined by her male counterpart is beyond me. Some lousy films in this list bear the question who is running Hollywood?

1)SUCKER PUNCH- The most disappointing, unwatchable movie of the year. Supposedly made as a musical with all the music removed, this latest film from hit or miss director Zack Snyder is repellent, derivative and surprisingly boring. I loved Dawn Of the Dead and Watchmen and didn't care for 300, but this was awful on a whole new scale. The script was terrible, the acting awful, the directing pedestrian and I don't even know if I made it to the end as I don't remember anything about it. Truly the worst film of the year. NEVER WATCH UNLESS MASOCHISM IS YOUR THING!

Happy New Year all.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR: CORPORATIONS

It's been a stellar year for douche bags(with a few heroes sprinkled in thank God). Obama just missed the top honor but was saved by some great foreign policy issues. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Anthony Weiner- Only a deranged lunatic would be a member of Congress and then proceed to send off pictures of his junk willy nilly to anyone who wanted them. His denial of "I can't be sure whether that is a picture of my penis or not," send comedians everywhere into an ecstatic state and his career into the toilet. I don't know about the rest of you but I'm sure I could identify my junk in a line up.

2)Victoria Jackson- Somewhere out there is a conservative comedian who might actually be funny. This bigoted fool and people like Dennis Miller, are quite simply NOT FUNNY. Once upon a time, maybe. Now, I'd rather watch Pauly Shore struggle through a set. Jackson lost her mind this year as she warned us that Muslims were taking over the country led by Obama. Her rants were beyond disturbing and even a little dangerous as she went from any talk show that would have her as she channeled Joe McCarthy. Someone should remind her she wasn't very good on SNL and even less so now that her fundamentalist Catholic crap has brainwashed her. Muslims are not taking over the country moron. Go eat a bullet and save us this bigoted, Nazi garbage you crazy bitch. Besides, considering how bad a shape we are in, who'd want us anyway?

3)2012- Yes this date is a douche thanks to several predictions that say the world will end, most notably by the Mayans. The world may very well end this year but I doubt the Mayans will have anything to do with it. Our ability at self-fulfilling prophecy may do it to us instead. I firmly believe that should we actually reach Dec. 21 2012, the day will come and go with no signs of impending doom from the heavens. Getting to that date may be an issue in and of itself as we do seem to be headed for a very steep cliff on a car with no brakes, steering wheel or driver. Next year does look bleak and, the next few weeks will tell us lots.

4)Odd Bird death Explanations- Once again, dead birds rained across Arkansas. The cause: fireworks. Again. Unfortunately fireworks were banned this year due to last years similar apocalyptic occurrence making this explanation somewhat unlikely. And didn't they have fireworks before last year with no effect? I don't know what is going on but it doesn't appear to be what they say it is.

5)Rebecca Black- This odious song was auto tuned to death and had the lyrical depth of a suicide note. I was fine with this as I honestly thought Black, a thirteen year old girl, had written it. Turns out an adult had. WTF? This is where we at with entertainment: anyone with enough money can get something out out into the mass market no matter how bad it is. Worse, some idiots will always buy it. Worst song of the year by far.

6)John Pike/Tony Baloney - These fat fuckers pepper sprayed innocent people just because. A true sign of the fascist state we not officially live in. I hope they get a taste of their own medicine one day.

7)Megan Kelly- This Fox news anchor said pepper spray was basically a food additive. The next time she's in restaurant I hope some enterprising waiter takes her up on her offer and blasts her food with some.

8)The Tea Party- No particular reason for them to be on this list other than they exist. I loathe the Tea Party and what they have become.

9)OWS- Yes I agree with them but their refusal to make any sort of demands blunted their movement to where it is now: an on line site. You had momentum and lost it. Liberal bullshit is no better than conservative crap. Make some demands already and step away from the drum circle. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

10)The GOP race for President- Another stellar year from the gifts that keep on giving to people like myself. Let's recap. Donald Trump started big until his ego blasted him into space. Michelle Bachmann rose and fell like she was destined to after one too many gaffes at the mike. Rick Perry shot across the sky like a comet by reminding us how stupid people running for office from Texas seem to be. Herman Cain groped his way across America until that bus stalled. Lastly came Gingrich, a WTF moment where you honestly wondered whether the GOP electorate had lost their minds. Now it's between Romney and Paul with the evangelicals looking at Santorum. Really? Yeah, he'll beat Obama in 2012. Christ.

11)William Adams- This judge beat his daughter with a belt in a video she posted online. He was subsequently suspended pending an investigation. Good.

12)Iran/Syria- These morons are all but daring the world to invade. With Iraq out of the picture, the CFR giving the green light and most of the Middle East onboard, this could happen at any time. Iran and Syria are not helping with their continuing belligerence, including repeating that the Straits of Hormuz could be closed at their whim at any time. New sanctions were signed into law today that could result in a total oil embargo on Iran. They have called this an act of war. Time may be running out in this passion play.

13)Obama- A mixed year for our embattled President. He expertly dealt with things like the Tea Party, Trump, Birthers and a lot of wanted terrorists like Osama bin Laden. On the flip side, today he signed the new Enabling Act which now makes the President a king with the power to throw whoever he wants in prison. A dangerous turn in a country rapidly turning into something else. His dealings with the GOP have been disastrous and his negotiation skills are the worst I've ever seen. He has broke just about every campaign promise he ever said and I for one won't be voting for him the next election.

And our winner is, drum roll please DADADADADADADADA...................

14)Corporations- Not only did they take over the country, they also made some of the worst business decisions I have ever seen. Drunken monkeys could run these things better. For this they get paid hundreds of millions of dollars? Are you kidding me?
Netflix forgot that the middle class has been wiped out and rose prices sixty percent. The outcome: a huge spike in cancellations or lowering the amount each individual spent each month. Combined with the Qwikster fiasco, they ate it big. So did banks like Bank of America, Wells Fargo and Citibank who were forced to scrap plans to charge people for their use of a bank card after customer complaints. Verizon did the same after plans to charge two dollars to pay the bill on line received massive backlash. The level of greed and stupidity with these idiots is staggering. But they now control the way the world works as unlimited spending on candidates is having the desired effect. Only Ron Paul is sticking it in their eye as his supporters refuse to fall for the media blitz campaigning Romney as the only guy who could beat Obama. Don't believe it. Paul may not be the best candidate but right now he is the only candidate. If we don't take some drastic measures here soon, this country is toast and neither Romney nor Obama are going to be that person. The world may indeed end, and soon, so don't fall for their dirty tricks. Congratulations corporate America, you are indeed douchebag of the year. Mazle Tov.