DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: FRANCESCO SCHETTINO

Easily the douchebag of the week, in a week filled with douchebags. Let's see those runner ups.

1)McKay Hatch- This waste of space, an 18-year-old college student who founded the No Cussing Club in 2007 has latched on to what can only be described as the most pointless argument in a time of real troubles. This moron, who hails from South Pasadena and attends Brigham Young University in Rexburg, Idaho, actually thinks this is a battle worth fighting. Never mind the fact that we have a fascist bent in this country and the ass is helping it along. The fact he attends college makes me very, very sad for our future, although the choice of college is telling in and of itself. I have no problem with Mormons, knowing a few and finding them the nicest people you will ever meet, but when any religion starts forcing their views on you, I call it out.

2)Mitt Romney- After giving a flip floppy version of why he wouldn't release his tax returns at debates and in interviews, his numbers plummeted and he lost South Carolina as a result. Now he says they'll come out Tuesday. Schmuck.

3)Newt Gingrich and South Carolina voters- How the ass won anything is beyond me. Anyone voting for, and this pains me to say, the worst candidate in the GOP field is beyond me. Even funnier, they thunk he'll cream Obama in a national election. If you want to energize the Democratic and independent base to vote en masse against your candidate, go ahead and nominate Captain Tub O Lard because national polls put his popularity somewhere between old milk and Jerry Sandusky. He is a terrible person who will destroy this country. By all means, if you hate America, vote Gingrich. Just don't be surprised if you advertise your support and get beat senseless for it as result.

4)Debate moderators- Can we please get someone, anyone who can ask revelent questions at these things? And stop backing off when Gingrich attacks you for asking a good question. It's your job to be a pit bull not a chihuahua. Watch people like Sam Donaldson from old debates to see how it's done.

5)Iran- Still being belligerent, this week the US rescued (for a third time) Iranian fisherman whose boat was sinking. China has publicly said they will not accept a nuclear Iran so, unlike Russia, their support in an attack won't happen. This means Russia will think twice about doing anything, as China is on their doorstep, and any war could suck them in too, with Russia their target. We are sending an 11 ship strike force into the area in March, daring them to do anything about it. I'm positive they'll blink first, but war still seems like a real possibility this year. If Iran keeps posturing during an election season, all bets are off.

6)Francesco Schettino and Carnival- Captain of the ill fated cruise liner, this dick fled the ship first thing he could, and then said he tripped and fell into the lifeboat. Hope you like jail because that's what your getting. And the cruise line received a black eye as their own staff was too incompetent to handle the emergency. This is what happens when you hire staff from third world countries at ten cents and hour. Let the lawsuits begin. So congratulations Francesco and Carnival cruises, you are indeed douchebags of the week.