Sunday, December 21, 2014

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK:SONY

This is my last douchebag column for 2014, so next week will be my douchebag of the year one. I thought of many to make that distinction such as Bill Cosby, the CIA, cops, and of course, either the democrats or Republicans. But this week, Sony Pictures has acted with such disregard for common sense, American values and bravery, that they are almost certain to be next weeks winner. Let's see those runner ups.
10)Greenpeace- While I respect what these guys are trying to do, this week they crossed a line when they defaced a World Heritage Site. I expect this from extremist morons but for these asswipes to paint a message that said "Time for change. The future is renewable. Greenpeace," right next to the Nazca Lines in Peru is more horrific than an oil spill any day. Admirable message, wrong method. Somebody should be in jail for this, which would allow them to see how bad a Peru jail really is. Dumbasses.
9)Annie- Proving how bad Sony is being run, this travesty of the musical is yet another black eye on a studio reeling from one bad decision after another. So according to their own emails, and backed up by facts, black people starring in movies do not play well overseas. Call it racist all you want, it's true and as a business you should be making movies people will pay to see everywhere. On top of that tidbit comes the realization that no movie made originally with white people and then made for black audiences succeed either as both the Odd Couple and the Honeymooners died a painful death. White and black audiences don't care for these, so why make this at all? Then just to make sure the film sucks, you hire a director who has no musical background (and trust me it shows) and a lead actress who can't sing without being auto tuned within an inch of her life. And guess what? The film tanked. North Korea didn't need to threaten the theaters with a bomb. There was already one playing.

8)Michelle Obama/Whoopie Goldberg- Can we please have a moratorium on rich and famous black people playing the race card? Goldberg stepped in it this week when she claimed only black people can really understand racism when Rosie O'Donnell correctly chimed in with the fact that as a lesbian, she gets a lot more racism than her. Trust me, it's a lot better to be black than gay in many states where no legal protections are in order for the LBGT crowd. And then, Mrs. Obama claimed racism when she was shopping for a photo op in Target and some short woman asked for help getting something off a tall shelf, which she instantly equated with racism. Somehow asking for help to a black person is now racist. She didn't ask the first lady for help with a price or to get something from the back room, which would suggest she thought she worked there, but help getting something off a shelf she couldn't reach. I've been asked that many times while shopping and I never thought people thought I worked there. You're black. Deal with it better than this.

7)Muslim Extremists- If North Korea didn't have a shit fit this past week, Muslim extremists would have gotten much more airplay. In Australia, some Iranian douchebag took a bunch of people hostage who just wanted a piece of chocolate and in the end died along with two hostages. Much worse, was the fucking Taliban in Pakistan who killed 140 people, mostly women and children. This has made them very unpopular all of a sudden and the government attacked them in droves. Classic overreach where if you go to far, sympathizers become your enemy.
6)Banks- As all the news this week has been either about North Korea or the lessening of economic embargoes against Cuba, the last bit of the Dodd-Frank Act, the Volker rule, has been quietly eliminated, just like the budget bill that allowed banks to put taxpayers back on the hook for their gambling losses. The Volker rule made sure banks had enough capital to pay back their bets, which they still didn't even with the watered down rule, but now can go back to their hog wild ways, pre 2008 and we all know how that turned out. Banks suck.

5)Cops- This week, two NYPD cops died in an ambush while sitting in a car. And while I do NOT condone such an action, I do understand it. Protests have done nothing to stop an out of control police force who are killing our pets, our children, our parents and ourselves with alarming regularity. The last straw was the grand jury that inexplicably failed to charge the cop with the death of Eric Gardner. To quote JFK again, "When peaceful protest becomes impossible, violent revolution becomes inevitable." This will happen more and more if cops keep acting like dangerous thugs. We need a serious conversation about how to keep everyone safe, police included, but as no one is listening, more cops will be shot and as there are 300 million guns in this country, no matter the hardware they have, they are very vulnerable to guerilla style attacks as this one was. Wise up guys because a reckoning is coming if you don't change your ways and there is nothing that can be done to stop it if you don't.

4)Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio- These two brainpowers bitched and moaned about the ending of the embargo of Cuba saying such ridiculous things as "Cuba condones torture," and "Cuba does lots of human rights violations," which conveniently forgets that the US was just found guilty of doing the exact same thing in a study released just last week. The CIA and the Republicans engaged in war crimes, the exact same things that people were put to death for during the Nuremberg Trials, but Cuba is the bad guy here. Man some people are stupid.
3)North Korea- Committing essentially an act of war against the US, these numnuts first stole reams of personal data from Sony and then threatened to bomb theaters that had the audacity to show a movie they didn't like. WHHHAAAAA! Kim Jung Un is exactly the kind of dictator we should be afraid of, because he may actually believe himself to be a god, and people like that rarely make good decisions. As their army is not exactly the most feared, even if it is large, their missile capacity is somewhere between a model rocket and a Scud. If push came to shove, we could annihilate them in minutes with little chance of retaliation. Un had another temper tantrum today, threatening the US with hellfire and brimstone if we don't apologize for accusing them of being behind the Sony hack, which they most likely were, conspiracy theories be damned. I hope the Interview does come out soon and people make a point of seeing it just to tell Un to suck it.

2)Movie Theaters- The cowards started the ball rolling when shop owners and theaters started to whine about the Interview and decided to pull the movie from wide release, panicking Sony. Nevermind the fact that North Korea has been threatening us since 1952, because we are still technically at war with them. Had we attacked them in 1994 before they got nukes we would have been much better off, but once again Jimmy Carter had to get involved and had us sign a truce they would break almost immediately. I hate Carter when it comes to foreign politics which he really, really sucks at. But theaters and shop owners are pussies who don't seem to realize that these guys talk big but never go through with anything simply because they don't have the ability to do 99% of what they threaten. Even if one theater got attacked, it would have been an act of war that would have resulted in the genocide of North Korea. Way to wear some pink panties guys. What a bunch of babies.
1)Sony- It's bad enough that their emails show a complete disregard for anything resembling knowing what they are doing, but then to go about and cry about how pulling the Interview is not their fault, insults our intelligence. In one set of emails you say, "don't hire Denzel because black people don't do well overseas", and then in another set, champion for Idris Elba to be the next James Bond. So black people do terrible BO overseas but you want to hire a great black actor to play someone in your biggest franchise? WTF? Then, you blame theaters for not playing the Interview claiming Sony wanted to go through with it but they had no choice to pull it. Unfortunately, we have access to their emails, thanks to the hackers, and they strongly suggest that you thought the film would bomb, which also suggests you have no idea how film tracking works, or that after all the free publicity and North Korean threats that this could have been one of the biggest movies of all time. Theaters suggested a limited release first and then widening it if nothing happens. Sony nixed this idea as well as VOD, DVD's and offers from people like Bit Torrent to stream it. The CEO of Sony was on CNN recently saying things like "No one wants to distribute it," and "we have no platform to play this on," which is a lie as some theaters did want to play it and you have a PlayStation network that could stream said movie. You people are cowards who made the entire country less safe now that any idiot with a grudge can threaten a theater and people will bail. Fuck you Sony and your idiotic, non-believable lies about the film. Everyone there should be fired. Congratulations Sony you are douchebag of the week, and I'll be seeing you again next week for douchebag of the year. What a bunch of pussies!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

WHY SONY AND VARIOUS MOVIE CHAINS MAY HAVE JUST SUNK THE FIRST AMENDMENT BY BOWING DOWN TO NORTH KOREAN COMMANDS!

Let us all hail our new Dear Leader, Kim Jung Un, who is now the defacto ruler of the USA. Long may he live. Wait a minute, did we get taken over by North Korea and no one told me? Damn, I look terrible in drab grey colors. It certainly seems that way when six of the largest theater chains put on their finest pink dresses and behaved like the pussies this country is rapidly becoming thanks to PC garbage and a complete inability to stand up to anyone by pulling the comedy The Interview over baseless threats. What a bunch of babies Sony and the like are.
Let's be real here. First off, this threat has no teeth to it. DHS said they had no credible information about said threat. And even if the threat was real, the end result would be a nuclear bomb over Pyongyang and the annihilation of the North Korean People if even one theater got bombed. They have no chance against us in a war, and if we went all in, the fight would be over in less than five minutes.

But no, instead we have a bunch of frightened idiots peeing themselves over an imaginary threat that as a result has made is even less safe and free had they done nothing. Now everytime some extremist gets his panties in a bunch, all they have to do is threaten a theater with a bombing campaign and that film will bite the dust. How long before ISIS responds with a threat because of nudity in a picture, or even a woman without a headscarf? How long before the villain in some movie makes some nationality upset and they threaten us with war? Where does this end?
Obama should have gone and addressed the nation to say he expects nothing to happen but if it does, North Korea can expect them to wiped from the map soon after, but that would require balls and almost no one seem to have that anymore.

Sony deserves a lot of the blame for this as it has come out that they, like 99% of corporate America, have no idea how to protect their information from hackers. Sony wrote about sensitive information in emails, like passwords, social security numbers and the like, had seriously outdated software and hired people for internet security that were just terrible at their job. Apparently, this is happening everywhere, which is why our data is getting stolen at a record pace. Explain to me again why we pay top dollar to get the "best people" for CEO's when they have absolutely no idea what they are doing? Isn't it more like we get the CEO's with the best connections, not the best for the job. I could do a better job as head of Sony for half the pay. I certainly would have upgraded their internet security like I did for my laptop recently after getting hacked. God forbid Sony did that.

When did we become such a nation of babies? When did it become okay to run a multi-national company with the same zeal as a summer camp? I would like to point out that some companies like USAA recently added micro-chip technology to their credit cards, like the Europeans have, to prevent them from getting hacked when used. Why is the rest of the banking community dragging their feet you ask? Money, as it will take a lot to upgrade them and God forbid we spend any of that cash most companies are using for stock buybacks instead.
The Dow is soaring for the second straight day for no apparent reason for attitudes just like this. Janet Yellen signaled that interest rates won't go up until sometime next year and the money junkies took that as a signal to go hog-wild with free money. It still doesn't change the fact that the world economy is struggling, oil is still volatile, and Russian economics is in freefall which could cost hundreds of billions in investor funds. But as long as the FED is guaranteeing the coverage losses with taxpayer money, who cares right?

This country is headed for a fall and no one seems to care as we bury our heads in the sand and refuse to see that all is not well. I fear for next year as well as our free speech that is no longer free. Thanks Kin Jung Un. Fuck off you midget douchebag. Too bad the people in charge of our entertainment industry didn't echo that fact and in the process, lost a hundred million of dollars. Way to go, guys. Way to go.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

NORTH KOREA, SONY, TORTURE POLLS AND OTHER WAYS PEOPLE BEHAVE LIKE CHILDREN!

I am a middle aged man who still reads comic books, plays video games and watches movies that my fourteen year old inner self would find, and I quote, "wicked awesome!" However, when it comes to work, politics and life in general, I behave like an adult. I approach problems with rational decision making, not superstition, and treat others around me as I would like to be treated. Apparently, I am in a vast minority, as recent actions taken by heads of state, corporate overlords and the American people in general demonstrate an unfortunate ability to behave in all aspects of life as a petulant three year old would. What happened to all the adults that seem to no longer exist? It's awfully lonely being one of the few who get it, as those that are reading this blog probably are as well.
N Korea Lower Tech Threat
Let us start with a person I have said could threaten world peace since his rise to power: Kim Jung Un. Since I was in college, I waited for some lunatic to get control of a nuclear arsenal and itch to use it. It's why in 1994 I vilified Clinton for NOT attacking North Korea when it looked like they were getting super close to a nuclear bomb. Letting them get WMD's was a horrific miscalculation that may end the world and the main reason I am also against Iran getting them as well. If nukes proliferate like this into failing states, it's only a matter of time before some loon uses them and that loon may be in charge of North Korea and one of the biggest armies in Earth.

Right now, Un is having a cow over the release of the Interview, a satire of two inept reporters hired by the CIA to kill the North Korean leader. As a result, it appears as if he has used a legion of hackers to steal all sorts of stuff from Sony, which I will go into later, including emails, personal info of cast and crew, the script for the latest James Bond movie and copies of films like Annie and Fury. From what I hear, Annie is a bomb all in it's own. The trailer alone is painful to sit through with all that damned auto tune. This was just the beginning apparently as instead of just leaving this as is (and making us question just who is behind this), Un has miscalculated greatly and has threatened a 9/11 style attack on any movie theater showing this film.

This has had the exact opposite effect for the most part except for the beyond cowardly theater group,  Carmike (which I have never heard of) who decided to drop showings. The rest should go through with what might be one of the biggest films of the year. Un should know that the one thing that gets Americans pissed more than anything else is to threaten them with anything. Message boards are calling on everyone to see this film, just to make the North Korean dictator angry. I am definitely going as I think this film looks funny as hell and I really want to stick it to Un just cause. I am hoping many, many others join me in telling that dick where to go and how to get there.
NorthKoreanDiplomacy
Should he somehow have the ability to attack movie theaters on Christmas, I hope he likes an all out war because the USA will be demanding blood, consequences be damned. If we parked a few nuclear subs off the coast, Un would have less than a minute to retaliate before becoming radioactive dust. It would certainly send a clear message to our enemies that we will wipe them from the Earth for behavior like this and could actually see a limited response if we did such a thing. Is China really going to get involved over this? Unlikely as that could end all life on the planet and not even China is willing to go that far over a spoiled child like Un. He better think very carefully on what he plans to do next or else face lethal consequences.

And then there is Sony. My God the emails are so junior high-ish I can hardly believe it. Angry studio heads bitch constantly because people like Jolie and DiCaprio actually turned down roles because of things like, gasp, the screenplay and money. The horror. They then resort to name calling and other childish, Kim Jung Un-like behavior. It's a constant thread of behavior that is exactly why I hate most of the bosses I have ever had who all seem to act like this regardless of profession. When you get ahead because you are related to the boss, this is the kind of morons you get running the show. The ultimate proof are contained in one name: George W. Bush. Does anyone honestly think this idiot would ever have been manager of Starbucks let alone President without his famous father? Of course not. And now comes word that Jeb Bush is going to run and anyone voting for that man should be shot on sight, as well as Hillary Clinton supporters. Should these be the nominees, I am going to do my best to start a nationwide campaign called, Stay Home in 2016 as voting for either of these two losers is a death sentence for the country.
Rodman north korea cartoon mckee 270x176

Lastly we have the public which a majority feel that the CIA torture program was no big deal. WTF? Are you kidding me?! Because so many get their news from places like Fox News and CNN, truth is being washed away. 58% said torture was justified because we got valuable info from doing this and they were just terrorists anyway. The truth is we got zero good info from this, as every study said and at least 26 people were innocent when subjected to torture. Fucking Darth Cheney has been making the rounds muddying the waters as usual by saying the program worked while offering no proof of any of it. And a lot of you out there are buying it. This means this country is moments away from collapse because this level of stupidity is no conductive to a productive society.

We should be out there in mass numbers calling for the heads of everyone connected with the illegal CIA program, and they could still face charges if the UN decides they committed war crimes, which they did. I will be truly happy with the UN for once if they do just that. We should also be demanding the resignation of Obama and anyone in Congress who voted for that crap spending bill. At least there are still those protesting police violence but have made it about race instead of status which is unfortunate.

The country and the world is inhabited by infants. We need adults to take over and I will give Obama some credit for finally addressing the idea that Cuba is no longer a threat. It's one of the few adult decisions anyone had made in a long time. I can only dream that this is not some anomaly and he will go back to acting like a hyper kid with ADD.

Monday, December 15, 2014

OBAMA, MITT ROMNEY, LIZ WARREN, BERNIE SANDERS AND WHY VOTING IS SOMETIMES A CROCK AND SOMETIMES A VITAL NEED

The awful spending bill that may send this country into a dangerous tail spin passed this weekend as I was finishing my Christmas shopping. Swell. Loaded inside were things like a 30% reduction in pensions that have been raped Bill Cosby style for years now by Wall Street, looser regulations on clean water, allowing people to spend ten times the previous amount on political candidates, and worst of all, a complete repeal of the already watered down Dodd Frank Act that will allow banks to gamble with taxpayer money or the exact thing that almost destroyed the world in 2008.
Here's the kicker: no matter who you voted for for President, this bill would have passed just the same. This means exactly what I have been warning people about for years in that your vote no longer matters one whit in a lot of instances. Locally in both CT and MA, both governor choices sucked and it made little difference who actually won. And that mentality must extend to the highest office which is now a bought and paid for position.

Look at those that voted for it: 2/3 of Republicans which is no big surprise, 1/3 of the Democrats and supported by the White House. These are all the idiots under complete control by corporate America and are actively attempting to install a true fascist dictatorship which they have been after since the 1930's when they attempted to overthrow FDR. Instead of directly accomplishing it, they just convinced the dumber of you out there to vote these morons into office. And now, we have no choice for President other than whatever dumbass they throw as us who are roughly the same person. All those people thrilled Obama won got the same crap the Romney would have done. WHEEEEE!

Here is a list of every democrat that voted for this crappy bill:

Ron Barber, Arizona
John Barrow, Georgia
Ami Bera, California
Sanford D. Bishop Jr., Georgia
Timothy Bishop, New York
Robert Brady, Pennsylvania
Julia Brownley, California
Cheri Bustos, Illinois
John Carney, Delaware
William "Lacy" Clay Jr., Missouri
James E. Clyburn, South Carolina
Gerald "Jerry" E. Connolly, Virginia
Jim Costa, California
Joseph Crowley, New York
Henry Cuellar, Texas
Susan Davis, California
John Delaney, Maryland
John Dingell, Michigan
Sam Farr, California
Chaka Fattah, Pennsylvania
Bill Foster, Illinois
Pete Gallego, Texas
John Garamendi, California
Jim Himes, Connecticut
Steven Horsford, Nevada
Steny H. Hoyer, Maryland
Marcy Kaptur, Ohio
Ron Kind, Wisconsin
Ann Kuster, New Hampshire
Daniel Lipinski, Illinois
Nita Lowey, New York
Daniel Maffei, New York
Sean Maloney
Carolyn McCarthy, New York
Gregory W. Meeks, New York
George Miller, California
James Moran, Virginia
Patrick Murphy, Florida
Donald Norcross, New Jersey
Bill Owens, New York
Ed Pastor, Arizona
Ed Perlmutter, Colorado
Scott Peters, California
Gary Peters, Michigan
David Price, North Carolina
Mike Quigley, Illinois
Cedric Richmond, Lousiana
Raul Ruiz, California
Dutch Ruppersberger, Maryland
Brad Schneider, Illinois
Allyson Y. Schwartz, Pennsylvania
David Scott, Pennsylvania
Terri A. Sewell, Alabama
Brad Sherman, California
Krysten Sinema, Arizona
Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Florida

Anyone voting for any of these assholes come 2016 is every bit as bad as these douchebags in office are now. I would point a special FUCK OFF to Debbie Wasserman Schultz and Steny Hoyer, party leaders who like Reid and Obama, fought for this bill rather than the average citizen. I would also like people to see that the only person to vote for this bill in all of New England for both houses of Congress was Jim Himes, who not surprisingly represents the Fairfield area, otherwise known as Bankersville. There is a reason why we have the smartest people in the nation and mostly it is because we don't elect the dumbest people available, except for the occasional awful Governor (CT I am looking at you).
Liz Warren on the other hand looks like a superstar for her passionate speech about how bad this bill was and why she would not be voting for it, joined by Bernie Sanders and Ed Markey. This has thrilled the Republicans who feel she will drag the democrats too far to the left and thus give them the election. This also shows how out of touch they are with average American who feel that both sides have slipped too far to the right and there are no liberal voices anymore. And if someone could harness that anger, they will win in 2016 in a landslide. Think about it: someone like Warren would run on a platform of raising wages (which people want), clamping down on banks (which people need) and other common sense fixes that most people on both sides of the aisle want yet neither is delivering on. The same could go for a Rand Paul or the like for the right who runs on a platform of ending the God awful War on Drugs, legalizing pot and stopping our police from behaving like some thuggish storm trooper.

The funny part about all of this hoopla is that regulating banks is not a left wing idea at all, but one the far right agrees with and was something that started the Tea Party. I found it terribly ironic that the President of Citizen's United came out against the spending bill specifically because of the raising of campaign finances which he now acknowledged has actually decimated the Tea Party as unlimited spending is now being used against them and crucified them in the last election. That is really funny.

The biggest surprise from all of this is Nancy Pelosi who actually fought against this bill and tried to block it. I have said little good about her for years but this demonstrates she still has some spine, along with conservatives like Ted Cruz and David Vitter, both of whom also voted against the bill, for the banking rule evisceration, as well as party line nonsense like immigration and Obamacare, but any reason to vote against this bill was just fine with me.
“The Middle Class Beatdown: Decline of the American Dream” - a cartoon by Cory M. Grenier depicting a Republican lawmaker kicking the American people to the curb.
Democrats could have stood their ground and demanded better. A short term fix was in the works and the only thing that would have happened is that they might have to work through Christmas to hammer out a better deal. The horror. They never work anyway so what's another week? Instead, the pussies listed above and that abomination in the White House sold us out. There should be millions outside the White House demanding his resignation along with every single person who voted for what could be a planet ending event. If banks drive the derivative market into the ground again, we may not be able to bail them out this time and when that market tanks, the world economy goes with it. And we voted for it.

Speaking of morons who got voted in, three governors, including the implausibly re-elected Sam Brownback of Kansas, are all stealing money from pension funds to balance budgets because of huge tax cuts that are killing their economy. Chris Christie, who is being sued over his theft, and Illinois governor, Pat Quinn, who is somehow a democrat, both did the same which the exact same results: a crash in tax revenues that rapidly depleted spending monies that are now being pillaged from pension funds. What morons voted for someone like Brownback, who has visibly driven the state into the ground, all because his opponent went to a strip club sixteen years ago? His numbers plummeted after that stupid allegation, proving many, many people in Kansas are too stupid to vote, just like Jon Gruber said.
And because of these tax cuts, pensions are being slashed because they are stealing your money and then telling you that you are the problem and not their greedy little paws in the till. But because the average person can barely read, doesn't pay attention to the news and doesn't vote when the should, this happens. Voting usually is fairly stupid and means nothing, but in these cases people voted for them to get less money so the rich can get more. Hell, some of the dumber people out there are fighting for it and then organizations like Citizen's United find out how hard they are getting screwed instead. Voting only matters if the person in charge is terrible and their opponent is worth something. If our next election comes down to another Clinton/Bush matchup, anyone voting for either cannot complain later when everything falls apart.