WORST OF 2018
10)Animated films- Wow did animated films suck hard this year. I usually see at least one but only two looked entertaining, Ferdinand the Bull, which I hear was good, and the Pixar film Coco which looked just like Book Of the Dead from some years back and I was meh about. The rest of the fanfare was atrocious, from the idiotic Emoji Movie, which got a righteous F from many a critic, to both Boss Baby and Despicable Me 3, neither of which I made it all the way through they were so unfunny. But hands down the worst of the bunch was Nut Job 2, the sequel literally no one was asking for. We know this because this film made less money than any animated movie ever. Ouch. Make better kids movies guys because these were just lazy.
9)Gross out comedies/TV remakes- Much like animated films this year, comedies crashed and burned fantastically. For original fare, nothing was as bad as The House, which had such talent in it like Will Farrell and Amy Poehler and it still sucked anyway. Having a script is necessary instead of just putting the cameras on funny people and hoping magic will happen. It sure didn't here. Way worse were the TV remakes of CHIPS and Baywatch, which both had exactly one really funny scene in it and the rest was torture. The later was even less forgivable with some of the worst action directing I have seen in some coupled with a tone deaf soundtrack and bargain basement special effects. It was really sad, especially since they seemed to think Baywatch was watched by women instead of men considering how much time they spent on men's bodies instead of the obvious hot girls. If you are going to make a movie eye candy make sure you are pandering to the right demographic idiots.
8)Horror films- Get Out was brilliant as was IT. The rest were subpar. Flatliners was the remake no one wanted as the title described its box office. Hell the first one wasn't that great. We started in January with such crap as the Bye Bye Man which did just that after two weeks. Summer was no better with the Mummy stinking up the joint and Tom Cruise's star power getting hit with not one but two disasters (American Made which was actually a good film but died anyway). The Mummy was a clear remake of the Brendan Frasier one instead of making it into a horror film, which in hindsight was a bad idea. This films sucked so hard the rest of Dark Universe is up in the air. Also next time, don't hire a director who only has two credits and neither was that great. The worst of this bunch was the Snowman, a film that failed to film huge parts of the screenplay, making the decisions of A-listers to be in this shitshow much more understandable. The end result is a film that makes no sense, such as the decision to make a movie without having enough money to finish it.
7)King Arthur- I love the King Arthur myth having written about it extensively in high school for a term paper. Having seen every movie ever made about the king I can safety say this is one of the worst ever made. Guy Richie flames out hard removing key parts of the tale, adding in anachronistic ideas and really bad acting and you have a hard film to sit through for over two hours. Next time, read about the character before you make a movie about him. Trust me it shows.
6)Transformers 456- JUST! FUCKING! STOP! ALREADY! These films have sucked since they started and they are not getting any better. Thankfully this film tanked which hopefully means the end of these shitty movies. This is another Universe film that tried to copy Marvel and got spanked as a result. Let us hope the planned sequels all get squashed because I can't take anymore of these. Neither can most audiences considering the awful BO.
5)Geostorm- Disasters movies were all the rage before we had Hurricane Trump wipe out most of the country. This Dean Devlin misfire had everything that should have been a clear sign it was loser: Gerald Butler, sub par effects and a genre losing it's luster as we have to face REAL disasters every day, both natural and man made. I go to the movies to escape reality not be reminded of it. Audiences felt the same and stayed away in droves.
4)Book Of Henry- This film was so bad the director lost his job with the new Star Wars film. Ouch. Coming off of Jurassic World, Colin Trevorrow was hot property. Then came this film about a genius kid warning his mom about an abusive stepfather. Smaltzy as hell, the sickly sweet production gave people diabetes just watching it and they fled in large numbers. It was so bad, he got fired. That had to hurt. It reminds me of Eddie Murphy, riding high off of Dreamgirls and looking at an Oscar nod when Norbit came out and ended that talk. This was much the same.
3)Alien:Covenant- Alien and Aliens are two of my all time favorite movies. Three was okay, four sucked and Prometheus was back to okay. This latest one however is the worst of the bunch and beating Alien: Resurection is a feat as the original screenplay was one of the greatest I ave ever read, and then they butchered it on then big screen, rewriting huge parts of it for no apparent reason other than to make it suck. This one didn't even have that going for it. It made no sense especially as the film Life had a similar premise and that was way better. I was rooting for the alien to eat everyone and I guessed the ending way before the characters did. This film was awful.
2)It Comes at Night- Not one word in that title makes any sense. There is no It, it doesn't come at night, or ever for that matter as most of the film is people sitting around and talking about how sucky life is. Yawn. A plague has wiped out a large portion of humanity and some survivors in a remote cabin decide to take in a family who needs a place to stay and they start to suspect they have other ideas other than just survival. Nothing happens ever in this movie. Much like Mother, this was billed as a horror film when it was just a character study of dullness. The fact it lasted two weeks in the theater, with Megan Leavey only lasting one after opening the same week, says everything. This film was so stupid and dull I am stunned not to see it on more worst of lists. Nothing happens in the movie at all. Watch at your own risk unless you are an insomniac looking for a good night sleep.
1)The Dark Tower- No film in recent memory was this bad. This is my favorite book series from Stephen King, having read Drawing of the Three at least a dozen times along with the Wasteland and others. This film was nothing like any of the books making me wonder if anyone actually read any of them who was involved with this. Putting aside the fact that Roland is white for a reason, Idris Alba is probably the best thing in this movie along with Mathew McConaughey who does not suck as Randal Flagg. Other than that, everything else is wrong. The directing is terrible, the screenplay atrocious and even the set design is off from the pictures in the book. Roland's world is supposed to be dying and instead looks like some offshoot of Star Trek. Worst of all it is so short and gives no development of anyone or anything. Allegedly there is a TV series coming out but I wouldn't hold my breath considering. Avoid this film like the plague.
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