Sunday, June 15, 2014

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: ERIC CANTOR

There are few times in history where you can watch someone build a Frankenstein monster, have it run rampant against an unaware public only to have it return and destroy it's creator. That is exactly what happened to Eric Cantor who lost spectacularly and not for the reasons the press is touting out. Let's see those runner ups.


1)Hillary Clinton- Everyone talks about Joe Biden having foot in mouth disease but in reality Hilary is far worse. She sunk her campaign for president when it turned out that story she told about being shot at in Bosnia was total bull and people looked at her as a liar. She continued with the "what difference does it make," comment during the idiotic Benghazi hearings, for which I agreed with her, but should have been phrased differently. Now she has done the same by suggesting she was "dead broke," after leaving the White House. To be fair, the Clintons were millions in debt but book advances and speaking fees erased that number quickly, something the average man never would be able to do. Had she said she left the White House "massively in debt," she could have used that to sympathize with people going through the same thing, as long as she acknowledged that her circumstances were very different than the average person. Instead. she sounded like a typical politician who has no real idea what dead broke means. She keeps this up, she won't be a front runner for long, which would be 2008 all over again.

2)Ted Cruz and the Texas GOP-Last week, we had these brain powers place homosexual therapy as one of their platform ideas, which is basically praying the gay away, and does NOT work. This week, the Algonquin Table strikes again, wanting to eliminate the minimum wage as a way to spur employment. They are literally trying to bring back slavery. Nevermind the fact that giving people less money has NEVER worked anywhere, not to mention the fact that in places where it is being tried, like EU countries and Detroit, the effects have been catastrophic. I am dying to see how well Seattle and SF do now that they are raising their minimum wage to 15 dollars and hour. Record growth I would guess. Why is Ted Cruz near the top of polls for GOP president? They do know this ass has no chance right? And where are the birthers on all of this as he was born in CANADA?My head hurts.


3)Rap Music- An article from Cannonfire recently noticed that the worst fashion statement ever, the pants down below someone's ass, is now twenty years old. This is solid proof that there is no fashion evolution happening anymore as can anyone name a fashion trend ever that has gone on like this? This should have burned out years ago, especially considering the fact that this is a gay signal for people in prison signifying their willingness to be the girl. Why is this still popular? Rap music however is not showing the same longevity. Right now, albums from Kanye West, 50 Cent and Jay-Z have all woefully underperformed. Even for non-rap acts like Mariah Carey whose album plummeted out of the top 100 this week, things look grim. As someone who pays very close attention to music, there has been a huge shift away from rap, auto-tune and emo towards a much more 80's sound, including even punk rock again. All things ebb and fade and rap music, which will still be around for years to come, will also not be the powerhouse it once was. RIP rap, some of it will be missed, most of it will be thankfully forgotten.

4)Edge of Tomorrow- Speaking of fading, Tom Cruise just hit his eighth bomb in a row that wasn't called Mission Impossible. If it wasn't for the fact that he still makes money overseas, he wouldn't be starring in much of anything by this point. The worst part was, I hear this movie was very good. But it had several things against it. One was the awful title, a replacement for the equally awful ALL YOU NEED IS KILL, but this sounds like a freaking soap opera. Whoever named this dud is probably no longer working at whatever studio produced this. The other is the fact that while Doug Liman is a very good director, this movie showed absolutely no visual creativity what so ever. It literally looked like every single other sci-fi movie made over the last decade. Cruise better hope Mission 6 is a huge hit because otherwise his prospects are going to diminish greatly.

5)Michael Bloomberg- I always hated this dick. His nanny state NYC policies rubbed me wrong and now his anti-gun crap has gone too far. Every media outlet picked up his "statistic" that there have been 74 school shootings  out of 77 weeks. It was repeated by NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, MSNBC and even the Daily Show. You know who didn't report it and even debunked it? CNN of all people. Who would have thought CNN would have on actual news. Turns out the stat used every instance it could to rig the numbers including drug shootings that happened after school was out, guns found but not used and other data that obscured the fact that the actual number of school shootings over the last two years is 15, not 74. Or in other words, not even close. It is this kind of junk science that is making people not trust vaccines, global warming science or much of anything anymore. Way to destroy society you ass.


6)DEA- Speaking of destroying society with bad science, a new look at DEA research by professionals noticed a distinct lack of science in any of their predictions or findings, going so far as to saying it was garbage. They found that the DEA had a material reason to find all drugs harmful as that would keep them employed and with plenty of funding. They destroyed the DEA's opinion on marijuana legalization as hopelessly naïve and poorly constructed and found they were dramatically overestimating the problem while almost completely ignoring prescription drugs altogether, even though they kill more people than all the other drugs combined. Can we please just get rid if this worthless organization once and for all?

7)Iraq- The country is falling apart as it always was going to. Sunni and Shia hate one another and until one beats the other off the planet, this kind of violence is going to continue. The country is breaking into three areas, the Kurds to the north being the third, which will make Turkey lose their minds as well as they have similar separatists problems. Iraq was a bad idea by the British to force their will upon an area where it was never going to work. No matter how long we stayed, this was inevitable.


8)John McCain, Dick Cheney and every other asshole who got us into Iraq in the first place- You'd never know it from their appearances this week, but these two and others have been damning Obama up and down for the very mistakes they made. Cheney must be suffering from dementia as Bush was the one who signed the pact to leave by 2011 in 2008, but now tells Obama he's the one that caused all these problems. Please! And McCain seems to want to bomb everyone making me thank God he and Palin aren't in office now of this country would be even worse. Republicans better realize that blaming Obama here is not going to work with a vast majority of us who remember exactly what happened. You broke it. You fix it.


9)Tea Party/David Brat- The Tea Party had a big upset with Brat's big win over Cantor, but their victories this election year have been few and far between. Even funnier, if you read their platform you realize that this group wants an end to ALL government, the very definition of is anarchy. These morons have moved so far to the right, they are now to the far left, which is where the anarchists thrive. Way to go idiots, you're become ultra-liberals. Mosel Tov. As for David Brat, he must be the worst economics teacher in the country. When asked about the minimum wage he replied he doesn't have much of an opinion on it right now. You teach economics you idiot. It would be like asking me what I thought of GTA 5 and I replied I'd rather not talk about it. WTF? Brat is the usual idiot brought about by the Tea Party with no ideas, no plan, just anarchy. Enjoy the far left.


10)Eric Cantor- I loathe Cantor so I did an actual jig when he lost. He was the epitome of a Beltway insider who talked out of both sides of his mouth and that fact alone may have sealed his fate. People hate wishy washy and Cantor was all of that. Immigration reform played some part in his loss but not as much as the press made it out to be as Lindsay Graham is much more pro-immigration reform and he crucified his Tea Party opponent. Two things sank Cantor. First, he's Jewish. Republicans love Israel but they hate Jews and this loss now makes the GOP the rich, white Christian party as well as being 90% male. That's some diversity you got going guys. Second, Cantor treated his constituents as if they didn't matter. He was so busy looking at big money be forgot that votes still matter, even if it's to a far lesser extent than they used to. Locals say he ignored their pleas to meet with them and seemed more interested in corporations rather than the voters. This is the ultimate wake up call for all politicians that both sides of the aisle are clamoring for change and populist ideals. If you act like you're above the whole thing, you may lose badly. So congratulations Eric Cantor, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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