Just when you think the Republican party can sink no lower, they find a new depth to lower themselves to. John Boehner is trying to sue the president for use of executive orders, which is never going to fly, and even if it somehow does, considering the almost made it Supreme Court for top honors this week, could have lasting effects towards them as well. Let's see those runner ups.
1)Anyone who bought tickets for Transformers- I sincerely mean this toward anyone who paid good money to see the crap fest known as the Transformers this weekend: Fuck off! You assholes are killing the movie business with your shitty taste and it has to stop. This piece of garbage will be number one this week with over a hundred million in earnings. Nevermind the fact that both critics and fan boys slammed this movie as, and I quote, "cinematic piss," some of you went in droves to watch a film with no plot designed solely to sell toys. Snowpiercer, a new film from acclaimed director Joon-ho Bong, and an all star cast is nowhere to be found in my neck of the woods, but Transformers is IN FOUR FUCKING THEATERS!!! Michael Bay is starting to really piss me off as his last few movies have sucked hard. For the love of God, direct something else, other than this or the painful Pain and Gain. Or just stop, your choice.
2)KFC Hoax- Last week it was reported that a little girl with bites on her face from a pit bull attack was booted from a local KFC because her injuries were upsetting the others customers. Money was raked in and then it came to light the whole thing was a hoax, that they were never at the KFC in question. The good news is doctors have said they will still help the little girl, as she is blameless in all of this, but the parents should be going to jail at the same time. If not, expect this happen with sickening regularity.
3)Non-vaccinated kids- For the love of God people, stop believing everything you read on the Internet. Not even this site is right all the time, although I do take steps to make sure I rectify any errors. But as someone with a science background, let me tell you, there is scant evidence that vaccines are any more harmful than ever. Now the sheer amount of vaccines does have me a bit concerned, but until evidence surfaces, hard evidence, that they are bad for you, vaccinations have to occur. This past week in MN a measles outbreak was tied to one unvaccinated kid. Some of these kids may die from this, so saying it's a personal choice to do it or not is bullshit as these shitty parents are literally killing other children, including their own, for something that there is little evidence for. I know trust is hard to come by these days, and any vaccine will have side effects to a small portion of the country, but that is the price we pay for safety. Stop believing nonsense.
4)Chris Christie- In an under-reported story this week, Christie faced more problems from yet another bridge scandal, this time the Pulaski Skyway bridge. This is from NJ.com:
The Manhattan district attorney's office and the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission are probing a 2011 agreement Christie made to use $1.8 billion in Port Authority funds to repair the Skyway, the report said.
Christie pressed the bistate agency — which oversees bridges and tunnels between New York and New Jersey — to pay for the project even though the Skyway is owned and operated by the state and not the Authority, according to the report. Eventually, the agency said it was funding the repairs because the Skyway was an access road to the Lincoln Tunnel, even though the tunnel is miles away, the report said.
If true, that may violate state and federal security laws, according to the report.
A poll from the same site, unscientific to be clear, overwhelming said that if this is true, his chances of running for President are about as good as mine. This guy should stay clear of bridges for some time.
5)Justin Ross Harris- Every day, some poor child dies in a hot car. I cannot understand for the life of me how anyone could not remember their child was in the car with them. Apparently it does happen legitimately, which makes them terrible parents. This was not one of those cases. Harris apparently "forgot" his child in his work parking lot, and sympathy poured in. That is until video footage showed him entering his car at lunch to grab something out of it and looked up "how long does it take a child to die in a hot car," on his work computer. What a dick. His punishment should be he'll be locked up in a room filled with torture equipment and his very angry, soon to be ex-wife. Good luck in prison loser. You're going to need it.
6)Buddy Cianci- The twice former mayor of Providence, RI, both times interrupted by jail time for assault on his wife's lover and the second for corruption charges, is running again in what can only be described as pure lunacy. Could this guy win a third time? God I hope not. Considering the demographics have become much more Hispanic, younger and will have a Latino running against him, his chances as slim. But considering how dumb we have become as a people, you never can guess.
7)Shia LaBeouf- It's sad to watch someone death spiral right in front of you. Lindsay Lohan, McCauley Culkin, Amanda Byrnes and now Labeouf gets entered into the same category as these others with his terrible NYC outing. After heavy drinking for some time, he entered the former Studio 54, now a cabaret, where he proceeded to slap performer Alan Cummings on the butt, started smoking inside the building, and then loudly started interrupting the cabaret act. When escorted outside by police, he allegedly spat at one of them. Classy. His new movie Fury actually looks good, but I have a feeling he may not be getting too many more parts at this rate.
8)MA SWAT Teams- The ACLU is suing the MA SWAT teams after they refused to have documents turned over under the FOIA. They actually claimed that they were a "private enterprise" that didn't have to respond to government actions. So even though they are paid with taxpayer funds they do not have to follow some semblance of the Constitution, which would explain a lot. If this logic is true, then by rule, they are no longer acting under the public good and should be considered an invading force. Can't have it both ways guys. Anyone shooting a SWAT team member anytime soon could use this as a defense in their trial and could win as a result. You guys are major league assholes.
9)Supreme Court- These came within a hairs breath of the top spot thanks to a bevy of awful rulings. They nailed the phone privacy act but then proceeded to get rid of buffer zones for anti-abortion douchebags while keeping their own Supreme Court buffer zone active. Hypocrites. Yeah, this won't cause any problems, until someone gets shot or stabbed that is. Then they killed Aereo, a company that might have helped drive costs down on the ever growing cable bills we seem to be getting every year. The worst part was that the so-called liberals were at the fore front of a lot of these rulings. How can we impeach all of them because regardless of party affiliation, these nine are killing this country? With two major rulings on contraception and unions next week, I predict them to appear here again.
10)John Boehner- This asshole extraordinaire hit a new low this week when he said he was going to sue the president over his use of executive orders. Nevermind the fact that Obama has used them a record low amount of times and seems only to use them when the GOP screams NO at the top of their lungs over every single piece of legislation that they personally didn't introduce. It is literally killing us all as we are getting sicker, poorer and closer to the end of the world than any generation previously here in the US. Their policies consists of hating gay people and abortion and wanting to give all the money to rich people while cutting all services for the poor. In other words anarchy. Anyone still voting for these douchebags must be the same morons paying to see Transformers. Why can't anyone see how bad these two things are? The chances of Boehner winning this fight is limited, but even if it did, could permanently affect any future president including their own. This has been held up by courts time and time again and could blow up in his face come 2014. So congratulations John Boehner you are indeed douchebag of the week.