It was quite the week folks, with more than one leader for outright douchiness. I know most of you are like "who the hell is Anthony Ward?" and you would be right to ask as this story has gone largely unreported in the MSM lately. But before we get to this week's winner, let's review the runner ups.
MAX DEVRIES- A 300 pound man died this week after being too fat for the operating table and fell off when the restraints to hold him place failed. Now his family wants to sue. As if health care isn't expensive enough, we now have to subsides the obese who are too lazy to stop shoveling food into their pie hole until they are like a full tick ready to burst. Enough.
THE CATHOLIC CHURCH- Caught in yet another gay scandal, albeit one that thankfully doesn't involve small children, Rome is scrambling to explain undercover footage of several priests caught frolicking in a gay nightclub. Yeah, no priests are gay and it's a sin. Yeesh. Way to go looking sssssoooooooooo hypocritical, Pope Nazi.
NORTH KOREA- Kin Jong Ill is like the little brother constantly looking for attention. Every time the focus is off him for more than two seconds he throws a tantrum. WHHHHHHAAAAAAAA. I don't like your military games. I'm going to nuke em. Yes, Kim Jong Ill has threatened to use nukes against us if we continue with our scheduled games. We have obviously not backed down and in no way shape or form will Captain Numnuts use force against us, less he wants Piyoung lit up like a Christmas tree. North Korea is known for empty bluster and this time is no different. Kim is a megalomaniacal moron but he's not suicidal in the same way Iran is. Let the baby rant and rave and let's move in to more serious topics shall we?
BP-Caught photoshopping three photos this week as well as some less dubious info about BP's dealing with the release of the accused Pan AM 103 bomber has left the once mighty giant oil firm with more egg on it's face. How long can this debacle go on for?
CHARLES RANGEL- The senior Representative from NY was going to be formally charged this week with ethics violations from money taking from lobbyists to go on vacations and to fix up his house. When a reporter asks him whether he's worried about possible jail time or being thrown out of Congress, he snorts in derision as if it were the dumbest question he'd ever heard. He calls NBC news a sham organization and berates them as if they were Fox News. Loser. Hope he's gone soon.
THE BELL CITY BOARD- The town of Bell, California whose mean salary average is 38,000$ was shocked to learn the mayor was making almost 800.000$ a year, the police chief 450,000$, and the Assistant mayor over 200,000$, not to mention all the part time city board members who pocketed 100,000$ each. In a town struggling to stay afloat, these salaries were outrageous. The mayor has resigned and an investigation will be followed shortly.
ANTHONY WARD- Who you ask? As of right now, this guy has cornered the market by spending 658 million pounds for the entire stock of cocoa beans on Europe. The direct result of this is the immediate rise in choclate prices world wide. Just what the world needs in the middle of a new Depression, higher chocolate prices. The funny thing is, according to all the media outlets, this guy's net worth is 58 million dollars (36M pounds) which hardly seems like enough money to buy more than a half a billion dollars worth of cocoa. Could this be one of the secret trillionaires I believe exist? Maybe. But for now, Anthony Ward, you are douchebag of the week.
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