Saturday, May 7, 2011

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: OSAMA BIN LADEN AND THE PAKISTANIS

This week's was a no brainer and while Obama gets a whole heap of credit for getting the bastard, his subsequent actions have been less then stellar. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Obama- Yes only a democrat could take a golden opportunity like the death of America's Number One Most Hated and still find a way to screw it up. By not releasing the death photos, Obama has given ammo to both the conspiracy theorists and the terrorists. Odd that Al Queda confirmed the death of Bin Laden rather than use it as a ploy that he was still alive but there are tactical reasons for that by using him as a martyr. Obama has continued his slide by bringing up taxing cars by the mile where a EU proposal also is in the works. This is wholly unacceptable and, if the message boards are any indication, this would be the last straw for an increasingly hostile public. I don't think violence is the answer to many things but if this passes, my position will almost certainly change. NO BODY is tracking my every move for any reason least of all taxes I can't afford. Think of something else stat.

2)Main Stream Media- I thoroughly enjoyed watching the networks crap all over themselves trying to get info out to an voracious audience about Osama's death. But in their rush to get something over the other networks, data was mangled. I am unsure who exactly is to blame for this cavalcade of wrong info, be it the White House, the Navy, CNN or Fox, but someone needs a big heaping can of "shut the f#$k up!" Don't report anything unless verified. If I say something on this site that is unverified, I SAY IT. You've given more ammo to conspiracy theories and terrorists. Awesome.

3) Donald Trump- As I wrote in Commentarista this week (check it out), Obama Trumps Trump. Captain Windbag got his sails deflated when Obama released his birth certificate, nailed him at the Correspondence Dinner and crushed him by interrupting the last half hour of The Apprentice. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Haven't heard a word since last Sunday and let me tell you, the silence really is golden.

4)Republicans- You guys suck. Our President gets our Enemy Number one and you wait a whole day before bashing him again. Funny, after 9/11, you guys would have pounced all over the democrats for doing this to Bush. You'd have screamed UNPATRIOTIC at the top of your lungs and you would have been right. Right back at you. Now shut up and get the country going in the right direction now that your voucher program is dead in the water. Which is exactly what happened when you demonized it for the democrats when they offered it years ago. Nunmuts.

5)Conspiracy theorists- My God you guys have been busy this week. First it was the birther crap. Now Obama is still alive, or was a CIA plant, or died years ago and resurrected as a bogeyman. Up until last week, I would bet hard money the last one was correct. All the evidence pointed toward it. But it wasn't true. And instead of saying "oops, my bad," everyone is doubling down on the idea that somehow Obama used Bush's playbook without any problems from Republicans. Unless these guys are the greatest actors on the planet and secretly working together, there is no way this is plausible. A guy live blogged the actions of the operation, countless people knew about the operation (and kept it secret I might add), and no one has a shred of evidence of malfeasance on anybody's part. We were wrong. Get over it. It still doesn't change the fact that either Al Queda is an invention or they just suck as terrorists. Your choice, Either way, can I bring my shampoo back on the freaking plane now.

6)Osama Bin Laden and the Pakistanis- The real questions that should be brought up is how the most wanted man on Earth could live in a nice neighborhood right next to an army base and no one noticing? The place might as well have been painted bright pink and said Osama Bin Laden Lives Here spray painted in day-glo letters. And they were pissed we didn't tell them about the raid? Are you kidding me! BOO HOO. Obviously you can't be trusted at the big boy table so here's your spoon and enjoy your pudding, kid. This has to be addressed at a diplomatic level and we should pursuing any ties to the local police or military and demand from Pakistan a full investigation with us overseeing everything. Muslims extremists worldwide aren't helping the cause by protesting the death of their "leader." So congratulations Pakistan and Bin Laden you are douchebags of the week.

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