2010 Year At The Movies A Study Of Mediocrity

Way back in 2007 I was reviewing movies for the Stonebridge Press. I went sometimes twice a week (I also reviewed DVDs and TV so I was quite busy). By July I was ready to rip out my eyes. Some of the worst movies I had seen in a long time were coming out all in a row. In summer. When Spiderman 3 and Pirates 3 are the best of the bunch you know you've got a long swim ahead. Crap like Fantastic Four 2 (worst superhero movie ever), Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix (worst Harry Potter movie by a mile), The Simpsons (how do you screw up the Simpsons?) and mediocre nonsense like Superbad do not make for a thrilling movie going experience. While this year is not anything close to being that level of awful, the year has also been strangely blah. While I haven't seen anything I outright hated, I have seen LOTS that were average. The reason why is obvious. Studios have stopped taking any chances, pandering their films to the widest markets by watering the story content down so much Terry Schivo could follow it. The funny part is that audiences aren't buying it anymore. With the economy still in the toilet and Congress dicking around with the lives of their constituents (mostly due to the asinine Libertardian tea baggers and further proof our education system sucks), people have stopped going. The higher ticket prices, jacked up to 20$ in some places for a crappy 3-D flick, is especially heinous and the average Joe has said No Way. That's why I have Netflix.
The box office for Memorial Day Weekend, which is the biggest opening weekend of the year, came to a 17 year low a few weeks back due to the incredible arrogance that a video game movie and a sequel to a show 12 years old would rock the house. They didn't. It didn't help that Sex 2 appeared to have been written by a gay fantionista coming off a six day bender of Cosmos and poppers. Their target audience saw it Friday and told all the friends YEECHH because on Saturday the box office actually dropped millions when it traditionally is the best day of the weekend. Sunday was even worse and now it looks to be a certain box office loser even with world wide grosses due to its astronomical budget of 200M$. That means it'll need to take in a least 300M$ to break even after advertising and post production costs are factored in. It's rumored that if Sex 3 happens, it'll be a reboot with younger versions of the characters ala Star Trek. Good luck with that.
This year in general has been not horrible but not excellent either. Alice in Wonderland has been the year's big hit followed closely by Iron Man 2. Alice was a good film but not great, but at least it had spectacle (especially in 3-D) something sorely lacking in every other movie this year. Even Iron Man 2 was a little disappointing as it wasn't as good as the first one, a rarity for superhero movies where the second one is always the best.
Thankfully, nothing as dreadful as FF2 has come along. But at the same time, nothing has blown me away except perhaps Hot Tub Time Machine which was easily my favorite movie of the year along with Kick Ass, Shutter island (the only film this year with Oscar potential so far) and Iron Man 2. Every other movie has been good to eh. Most, like Clash of the Titans, Legion, Edge of Darkness, Percy Jackson and a slew of others were forgotten soon after seeing. They were good. They didn't suck. But none popped either. And I can't imagine that any will do that well on DVD either.
This last week's movies continued a four week slide as studios are starting to panic about their releases which so far are about as DOA as Michael Jackson. The Killers with Aston Kutchner and Katherine Heigel got as bad reviews as any movie I've seen this year. Funny thing was, it was actually pretty good. It was funny, kept my attention and Katherine and Kutchner are hardly bad on the eyes. The plot centers around a plot line pretty much used up though, as the oh my god my husbands a super spy has been done to death, officially killed off by Jackie Chan this year in the awful, awful My Neightbor's A Spy. (Note to Jackie. Get a new agent. Your movies lately are terrible.) But the fact that everyone in their lives is trying to kill them is funny, especially best friend to Kutchner Rob Riggle, a gifted stand up comic who is a scene stealer. It's nothing new but it's well executed and a diverting time at the movies. (2 and half stars)
Then comes Get Him To The Greek, a spin off from the classic Forgetting Sarah Marshall. This movie got great reviews saying it was the funniest movie of the year. It wasn't. As a matter of fact long stretches of this film DRAGGGGGGGGGG, especially the ill advised third act. I love road movies. I like Jonah Hill and Russel Brand and most of the people connected with Sarah Marshall were back except the writer and there in lies the snag. The writing in the movie is terrible. The plot centers around lead singer of horrible band Infant Sorrow, Aldous Snow, being dragged to a reunion concert in LA years after his star has faded. Jonah Hill is the record executive given the task by an unfunny Puffy Combs in full on overacting mode. I love road movies. Anything can happen. That's why the Hangover made so much money last year. This film is the exact opposite with no surprises, everything unfolding as you would expect and a long dragged out third act with no laughs at all. Even the character of Aldous has radically changed from the first movie from a sweet natured doofus to a drunken megalomaniac. It's jarring. And while the film does have a few funny moments it's not enough to recommend. Skip this film (1 star)
The rest of the year looks no better as does next. Sequels, remakes and rehashes are what we get to look forward to. WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. If the recent box office is any indication, the studios may be in real trouble. Someone better get Bond and the Hobbit out of dry dock stat because you guys need a hit. Pronto.