DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: VLADIMIR PUTIN

Russia has almost singlehandedly guaranteed a massive war to erupt at any time. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Eric Holder- How this ass still has his job is anybody's guess. Under President Obama (more on him later) and this moron, we have seen NO prosecutions of any bank leaders, lost thousands of guns in the badly thought out Fast and Furious Program, has told Congress not to bother with any questions about it because he's not answering, and is part of the revolving door between banks and government as at least two of his senior staff have gone from the Justice Department back to law firms that represent big banks. We have had more than two decades of TERRIBLE Attorney Generals and each one gets a little worse. When you can out douche Albert Gonzales or Janet Reno, you know you've made a wrong turn somewhere. This fuckwad should have been fired, if not brought up on charges, years ago.

2)Janet Napalitano- Another worthless bitch, this man in drag is turning the DHS into a full blown Gestapo unit. Under her "wise" leadership we now have armed TSA agents everywhere, including highways, train stations and even sporting events, a stockpile of illegal hollow point bullets that could shoot every single person in the this countrythree times, the planned takeover of the US Park Service, and many other tentacles that are rapidly encombing the entire nation. We are facing a real coup de tat in this country where the elites will have complete control over us all. In North Carolina this week, mysterious cameras started showing up everywhere and when people ask who is putting them up, the local governments all say "no comment." Add drones they want to fly over the US and pretty soon we will all be living in the world's largest prison.

3)Obama- If the presidential race was a fight, I'd swear Obama was taking a dive. In the past few weeks his numbers have plummeted in key states and is no longer the shoo in he was. The worst part it is all his own actions that have killed his numbers. First, the ATF, with his permission, is seeking to ban all shotguns that hold more than five rounds. Nevermind the fact that these types of guns are used by hunters, competitive sportsman and for self defense, Obama has said to hell with them. The NRA has done a full court press on this and, predictably, his numbers are falling. If this ban passes, I will not vote for Obama as this is a line in the sand I am not willing to cross. Not that Romney will get my vote either but Kermit the Frog is looking really good with his "It's not easy being green," campaign. Obama seems to have missed the memo that the main reason Gore lost in 2000 was his anti-gun stance, something a lot of us do not support. On top of that, Obama broke yet ANOTHER campaign promise to not go after medical marijuana by being the WORST president ever for pot rights. With Holder and Justice Department, the feds have been raiding legitimate medical establishments in states where such things are legal. First, a huge majority of people in this country want medical pot and a slim majority want it legalized outright. In swing states like Colorado, Obama is losing ground rapidly as people see his strong armed tactics against something they voted for and want as a real infringement of their rights. This issue, combined with the gun ban, could make him a one term president and elect Romney in a landslide. What a schmuck.

4)Republicans- Not to be outdone on the douchebag meter, these asses keep hammering Obama on things that don't make them look that good. Where's the GOP on the gun ban? Shouldn't the party of "freedom" be for ending the drug war? Nope and Nope. They are still hammering Obama on jobs which is something he has very little control over. Not to mention the fact that Romney and jobs do not go well together as his policies put tens of thousands out of work with Bain Capital and his record for job creation in MA was 47th in the nation, behind usual stalwarts, Alabama and Mississippi. The GOP will be as bad with guns as the democrats, no matter what the NRA wants you to believe and the drug war will never end as long as our country is set up the way it is. A vote for the democrats or Republicans, for the most part, is a vote for fascism. Remember that come November.

5)Spiders- A new breed of aggressive spiders have started to swarm over several towns in India. Yet another reason NOT to go there. They sound an awful lot like the deadly tarantulas of Brazil that can leap six feet in the air. Tell me you wouldn't scream like a little girl if one of those was coming at your face?

6)Cannibalism- A lot of people got eaten this week. As a result the CDC had to release a report saying they don't believe a zombie apocalypse in upon us (neither do I). However, there was a breakout of a strange rash at several schools in Florida, and three people were eaten, so I can understand how people's minds would go there.

7)Iran- Their delay tactics are obvious to even the most liberal individual and as a result, Israel has all but said the peace talks are dead. They will go through the motions, but no one expects any progress. War looms possibly as soon as next week but most likely sometime this fall.

8)Syria-Assad has proven to be the butcher we all knew he was with the murder of dozens of Innocent people. His "cease fire" has only allowed his troops to continue shelling towns and killing people while the rebels are held back from doing anything. The worthless UN sits by and watches.

9)Kofi Anon- The absolute WORST UN leader ever is back at it, trying to broker a peace deal between Syria and the rebels. Nevermind the fact that this guy was corrupt from head to toe, having gotten caught in a food for oil scam during his rule, and was obviously anti-US from the start, he is continuing to make no progress here either. Ass.

10)Lebanon- Word is leaking out that Hezbollah is going to start moving scud missiles out of storage and toward the Israeli border. Israel said two years ago that this would be considered an act of war and would be treated as such. There is no way Israel fights Lebanon like the last war on 2006 which was almost exactly how the US has fought wars for the last forty years. Bomb a few places, declare victory without achieving anything and militarize the border. This wouldn't be so bad except see below.

11)Turkey-Almost my douchebag of the week, Turkey has made a spectacular 180 and has publicly sided now with Syria, Lebanon, Iran and Russia, making them persona no grata now. Unlike most nations on earth who have responded to the massacre of innocent civilians, including women and children, with horror, the new axis is saying "we don't care." There have been reports that the massacre was done by anti-Assad troops or even US/Israeli forces looking for an excuse to attack. Neither of these accusations seem to hold much weight though and there is no proof that this is what happened. With Turkey now siding with our enemies, should hostilities break out, people of Iranian, Lebanese, Turkish and even possibly Russia origin may see the inside of those 800 concentration camps dotting US soil.

12)Russia- Putin, the new Russian Czar, has officially decided that the world doesn't matter. Russia has vetoed another resolution against Syria, said any attack against Iran or Syria will involve Russia and is all but guaranteeing a nuclear war at this pace. All this because he wants to sell weapons to people who hate us, and if we lose, will turn their guns against his regime next. Not exactly the most forward thinker out there. So congratulations Putin, you are douchebag of the week.