Sunday, February 3, 2013


With terrible economic news this week, you'd think none of it was happening considering the stock market is hitting record highs and rich people are dancing in the streets as otherse all around starve. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Bouncers at The Brazilian Nightclub That Burned To the Ground- It has come to light that, much like the blaze at The Station in Providence, bouncers prevented people from leaving as the structure was engulfed in flames. The reason was they were worried people were leaving without paying for the drinks, like that was their biggest concern at the moment. Let me give a word of advice to anyone standing between me and an exit where my life is in danger: Don't. Because you won't get two words out before I literally kill you  I may be old and crippled, but once upon time I studied martial arts for years and still know enough to smash a windpipe or two. This is idiocy at it's stupidest and the only glad thing I take away from this is knowing that dumb people are not just here in this country.
Lohan Turned Away
2)Lindsay Lohan- Take a quick look at the above picture and tell me that Lindsay isn't aging badly as it's not readily apparent who is the mother and who is the daughter. The Terrible Twosome was turned away from two posh hotels this past weekend; one she was banned from for doing thousands of dollars in damage previously to a penthouse suite, the other because it was "full." Lindsay was also banned from the Chateau Marmont for failure to pay an outstanding balance of $46,000. Hotels have not been kind to Lindsay as in the past she has hit people with her car while leaving Dream Downtown Hotel in NYC and she accused a Congressional staffer of sexual assault at the W also in NYC, an act that never happened. You'd think she'd be getting her act together but recently turned down a stint on DWTS for $500,000 and has few projects lined up even though she is drowning in debt. What a loser.

3)Oprah-I have never disguised my dislike for Oprah Winfrey. She may do good things for people and is a very good interviewer, but privately she as ego the size of, well, her ass and constantly seems to look down on anyone not of her status. That irks me more than anything else in a star. Recently her network faces a bad lawsuit after firing a woman who had the audacity to get pregnant and needed time off. When she returned, they gave her less and less to do and eventually fired her. She is now suing and will probably win. I hope she soaks the struggling OWN network.

4)Pat McCrory- This week, NC Govenor McCrory wants to put strict limitations on courses public colleges offer as many don't have any chance of getting a job in things like "liberal arts classes," because the "educational elite" had take over colleges, otherwise known as not Republicans. He went on to say this :

"So I’m going to adjust my education curriculum to what business and commerce needs to get our kids jobs as opposed to moving back in with their parents after they graduate with debt," McCrory said, adding, "What are we teaching these courses for if they're not going to help get a job?"

This is the same thinking that is destroying our public schools as common thinking is "why teach art, history or music and let's just focus on the basics." This has shown to produce terribly stupid people who know nothing about anything and now you want college people to do the exact same thing. In other words, Republicans are saying "we don't want you teaching our kids things that will make them realize that almost everything we stand for is bullshit." McCrory also seems not to realize that right now, there are few jobs for business majors, nursing and others that we keep being told will guarantee us a job. Imagine what would happen if EVERYONE graduated with those kind of degrees. Unemployment will skyrocket, you ass. Similar proposals by regular douchebags to this column Rick Scott and Scott Walker have been met with derision. What a bunch of idiots.

5)Critics Who Said Zero Dark Thirty Scenes of Torture Never Happened- Many, many people have come forth since the movie was released and said no torture was used to get information in the death of Osama Bin Laden. That has been turned on it's ass when departing Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, admitted that waterboarding was used to collect information after all. So all those naysayers were wrong and may have done enough damage to hurt it's former front running chances for Oscars, now being run away with from Argo, which was fantastic. I am tired of people opening their mouth just to hear the voice.

6)Sandy Hook Truthers- I'll say this again from the cheap seats: THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY HERE! My god, for some people everything is a conspiracy. I have read the dumbest blogs this week about this non story which holds as much weight as the Birther crap that still isn't going away. Real conspiracies are ones with proven flaws in the official story like 9/11, TWA 800, Pan Am 103(which has been proven real), and the assignations of JFK, RFK and MLK. This is hogwash. Get a life people.

7)Syria/Iran/Lebanon- Yes the Axis of Stupid strikes again with Israel blowing up a research site and a convoy of missiles being delivered to Hezbollah. The reaction was swift and immediate and, so far, full of hot air. The Iranians and Syrians have been belligerent but all bluster so far. The Russians are the US and not on high alert anymore but it is a region where everyone is on edge. This is a place where a single match could light up the world.

8)North Korea-Determined to piss off everyone, the North Koreans have signaled that they are getting ready for a third underground nuke test, in violation to UN charters and agreements with the US. This threatens more embargoes and even China has said publicly they are losing patience with the one trading partner NK has. If NK goes through with this, expect major repercussions.

9)Fox News- This week was a sad, sad spectacle as Fox News has given up reporting the news and is now actively flinging their poo everywhere. This week saw the triumphant return of the same temper tantrum like style of past days where President Blackenstein must be stopped at all costs programming. This week it was Skeetgate which now officially makes putting gate on the end of any scandal passe and lame. After the president says he goes skeet shooting all the time, Fox News pounced on it like a hungry cat on a mouse. They questioned it skeptically, asking where are the photos and why has no one mentioned it before. The White House quickly released a picture which, of course, has been photo shopped to death. On and in answer to your question, that's why they didn't want to release a picture of a black man you hate holding a gun.

10)Government- It has not been a good week for the government. There was an embarrassing sting gone bad with the ATF, which of course was not mentioned at all, on any major news network or national paper. Republicans hounded Chuck Hagel for the crime of standing too close to a n%*ger. John McCain has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that this country would be radioactive wasteland if he and his unbelievable unqualified VP had somehow won after his shameless questioning during the hearings. The biggest punch to the American people is a report issued by the Social Security Administration, also not covered anywhere, they says roughly 66% of this country makes less than $41,000 a year, 50% make less than the median average of $26,000 (which is also $15,000 LESS than you would have made in 1970) and 40% make less than $20,000 a year. These are not sustainable numbers and are the NUMBER ONE reason we are still in a depression. We haven't had a raise in over forty years, our unemployment stands at 23% and has remained unchanged now for four years, and the only houses being bought aren't from regular people but by the rich who are renting them out. No money loans, you know the thing that crashed the economy the first time, are back but only for "qualified" people, ie rich people. However, even though the housing market is up, it is an illusion. And again, once too many houses are bought and the rental market is played out, the system will crash again regardless of money in hand. And then the real trouble starts all over. Business everywhere are laying off individuals left and right and no, it is not because of Obamacare. Stores like Best Buy, Radio Shack and JC Penny's have been run badly for years and are hemorrhaging because if it. And none of this is being reported by the media or the government that both keep telling us everything is good. Even though the rest of us struggle to make ends meet in a  world that no longer pays their slaves anything. And that it what we are. Slaves. And until we wake up and demand better from our employers, our government and even ourselves, nothing will change. So congratulation US government you are indeed Douchebag of the week.

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