Sunday, February 10, 2013

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: CLIMATE CHANGE DENIERS

Another stellar week for the traditional losers on this posting with a few new wrinkles to make it interesting. Let's see those runner ups,

1)Bill O'Reilly- It's bad enough that this blowhard has two best selling books about historical figures (Lincoln and Kennedy), but to label them non fiction is a stretch at best. His earliest one, Killing Lincoln, is being made into a movie that I am sure will rival Spielberg's in all areas (insert heavy sarcasm here). His Kennedy book is a travesty of a novel ignoring facts that don't fit his theory and making stuff up that does, like insisting that Oswald was a crack shot in the military. Unfortunately for O'Reilly, the statements by his fellow soldiers and scores in shooting exercises paint a very different picture of a below average individual. And how does O'Reilly back up his "facts?" He doesn't. But this dick ate ate crow this week when he asked sleepy house liberal Bob Becker why NBC hadn't done any stories about the drone program. He must have missed all the stories on both NBC and MSNBC that broke the story about Obama's questionable memo concerning the drone program. Bill O'Reilly is the worst fact checker since Dick Morris and Karl Rove.

2)Barack Obama- Proving once again he is nothing more than Bush in blackface, a memo was leaked this week that explains why the President has the power to literally kill anyone he wants. Yes, it is intended for those that join terrorist groups that fight against the country and in some instances I support it, like the assassination of al-Awlaki. However, both the left and right are up in arms about this and with good reason. In the memo the words "imminent threat" appear, but clarification of that term later state that if the government even thinks you are about to commit a dangerous act, with zero proof, they can still act. There are no checks and balances and gives the President enormous power. And while I doubt that Obama will misuse this against the people, he could, as could any future president. What is the qualifications for being labeled a terrorist? Could the cyber group Anonymous fall into this category? What about Occupy Wall St.? Even the Tea Party? Where does it stop?

3)Fox and Friends- Again proving they are easily the stupidest morning show on the planet, and I am including "Sun Up with Kim Jun Un and Comrades," "Cuba Libra with Dane Castro," and, of course "The Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotbe," Fox and Friends hit a new low this week. In a segment, two of the three stooges, Douchey and The Bimbo, were discussing solar power with Fox Business news advisor, Shibani Joshi. As expected, the two house retards were ridiculing Obama's "failed" solar policy, when the questions was raised over why Germany has a booming solar infrastructure. The response from Joshi was jaw dropping.

"They're a smaller country, and they've got lots of sun. Right? They've got a lot more sun than we do. The problem is it's a cloudy day and it's raining, you're not gonna have it. Sure, California might get sun now and then, but here on the East Coast, it's just not going to work."

Really? That is your response? It's also not true. Other than the Pacific Northwest and Alaska, the rest of the country gets more sun than Germany. This stupid bitch apparently hasn't been to Arizona or Florida ever in her life which, as we all know, has been plunged into eternal darkness since the 15th century. Right? It must be because I heard it on Fox News. Solar power is the way of the future and these assholes are determined to never let us get off of oil.

4)Venezuela- In a story I guarantee won't be heard about anywhere on TV and perhaps in a small paragraph on page A13 in major newspapers, Venezuela devalued their currency today, sending off panic buying throughout the country as prices are expected to rise as a result. It is also the first domino in a currency war being fought throughout the world, especially in the US and Japan. This could lead to major instability in the markets which are already looking rattled. Word is top investors are selling stock nine times more than their regular counterparts, including Buffet, Paulson and Soros, and some large put options are being levied against the Dow falling at least 5% over the next sixty days. You have been warned so if you own stock be careful.

5)The Post Office- The Post Master General has decided on his own to end Saturday delivery. I hate this plan as the main reason the Post Office is in trouble is due to the fact they have to prefund 75 years worth of pension and health care costs, which is bankrupting them. The Republicans want to kill the post office, the military and even schools and privatize everything as it will be "cheaper and more effective," which past experience says neither is true. Things will be much more expensive and even more poorly run as profits takes precedent over everything else. Privatization is a road to hell. I am hoping the Democrats figure out a way to save Saturday mail which is more important than you think as this will kill many jobs and further destabilize our mail delivery. This madness has to stop or else we will be a third world nation soon.

6)LAPD- This week a disgruntled former cop killed three people after they may or may not have screwed him over for some reason like he was black, as the accused shooter Chris Dorner alleges, or more likely, fired over snitching on a fellow police officer for police brutality. The story sounded fishy from day one and I for one believe Dorner, as the person who was beaten repeats the same story as Dorner, as does the victim's father. Three witnesses say differently, but without knowing who or what they said, there is possibility they didn't see what they said they saw, either through coercion or mistake. What is not in question is these trigger happy morons keep shooting at cars that do not belong to Dorner. Two officers in question fired multiple rounds into a truck that was the wrong color, wrong make and, instead of a large black man driving, there were two small Asian women. Unbelievable as these two idiots are still in uniform and not fired for almost killing two innocent people. Dorner, on the other hand, was fired for making a false report against a police officer. So reporting a case of brutality will get you fired but firing wildly at a car that looks nothing like the one you are looking for doesn't? Right. Dorner's life was ruined by this and he is pissed. Not a good time to be in the LAPD.

7)Lindsay Lohan- Lohan had another bad week as her Long Island home is being foreclosed on and she has moved back in with her Mom because she can't afford rent. That is a long fall baby. As the IRS has frozen her accounts due to lack of payment and acting roles all but gone, she is really screwed. It is too bad because, once upon a time, she had it all. Now she is back home, broke and lonely. I almost feel bad. Almost.

8)Justin Beiber- I watched the Beib on SNL last night and let me tell you, Lindsay Lohan was better when she hosted last and that was no great shakes. His music has an appeal to the tweens and at least he wasn't using autotune but when his music is the highlight of the show, you know you've stepped into the ninth circle of hell. SNL is always hit or miss but this last night's episode was painful.

9)House Republicans-In 1994, Congress passed the Violence against Women Act. Since then, domestic violence against women has fallen fifty percent. It is up for renewal now and should be an easy pass right? Nope, not since he have the Puritan House who refuses to even bring it up for a vote. Eric Cantor has since received 127,000 calls to his office telling him what a dick he is resulting in him going to the House floor and declaring he supports ending violence against women but, not by passing a law, or anything. Words, mere words.

10)Mother Nature-We got walloped here this week as a blizzard, Nemo, dumped more than two feet of snow on the Northeast. Governors shut down the roads in CT and MA, calling many to label them "fascists" and this was "the road to martial law." They did it dumbasses to keep morons, like you, off the streets which were impassable by 4 PM Friday. This isn't fascism. It's common sense.

11)Climate Change Deniers- Ahh they were out in force again this week as everyone kept saying how can the Earth be getting warmed if we still have blizzards? This is common misconception among people who have no background in environmental sciences. I, on other other hand, do and while the storm cannot be blamed on global warming per say, it does demonstrate a trend that has been going on for years. The world is getting warmer, unless you listen to some like George Will, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity, who keep using data that is always wrong and convince those that believe everything they hear from these idiots as gospel. There is too much to go into here and we will look into that in a future column but the oceans are warming, the planet is warming, Arctic ice is melting, Greenland is melting and parts of Antarctica is melting. Glaciers are disappearing faster than at any time in history. This is not trivial information but solid facts. The data is being subverted by those who want to, oil and gas companies, just like Big Tobacco did for years about the dangers of cigarettes and those that don't know any better are buying into it. We face a catastrophe soon and it is highly unlikely we will do anything about it before it is too late. And when it is, I hope you all remember the idiots that made it happen. So congratulations Climate Change Deniers, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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