10)Movie Studios- I am sincerely beginning to question whether lead paint has made a resurgence these past few decades because there are way too many stupid people today. Nowhere is this more evident than in executives who run movie studios. They make bad decision after decision lately and as a result have put forward a cacophony of films so putrid no one is going to see them. This was a summer of one lousy sequel after another with only superhero movies being any good. I usually do a whole column about this but time and Trump will lead to a compact version here.
SUMMER HITS-
Guardians of the Galaxy 2- Baby Groot rules.
Snatched- Not the best comedy but Amy Schumer and Goldie Hawn do make you laugh enough to recommend.
Wonder Woman- Gal Gadot shines in this tale that finally gives us a female super hero with a great screenplay. Can't wait for the sequel.
Baby Driver-Missed this one but it got great reviews and made a lot of money, plus Edgar Wright directed so it almost certainly does not suck.
Spiderman- FINALLY a great Spiderman movie after three successfully worse sequels. Marvel rules.
Dunkirk- Oscar bait for sure as another great war movie gets gold.
Girl's Trip- The only comedy that made money this year. Why? It was funny.
The Hitman's Bodyguard- The studio thought this would tank and dumped in the dregs of August. Surprise hit later, it is going to make a lot of money. I want to see more movies like this with it being actually funny, good stunt work and a screenplay, while predictable, was more fun than most of the crap put through the ringer this year.
SUMMER MISSES-
King Arthur- Next time read the mythology before making about the subject. This was barely about the legend at all.
Baywatch- You made a film about hot women with an audience male oriented and then have NO female nudity anywhere in an R rated comedy. Not smart. Oh and next time, make it funny. It is a comedy after all.
Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Men- Just stop. Please. JUST. STOP!
It Comes At Night- Heard good things but this film died hard. Trailers made it into more of a monster movie and not the drama it is.
The Mummy- Who thought it would be a good idea to remake the Brandon Frasier version with Tom Cruise? Next time, make it a horror movie like it was and see real money pour in. Idiots.
Transformers 651- See Pirates.
Valerian- I had no idea what the film was about from the previews and apparently neither would you had you actually seen the movie either.
The Emoji Movie- The shit emoji says it all.
The Dark Tower- I would have rather watched a guy shit into a bag for two hours than see this again. Possible the worst rendition of anything made ever. No one should watch this for any reason short of seeing what a waste of talent truly looks like. I could cry it was so bad.
The Nut Job 2- Like one wasn't enough? Audiences sure thought so as this was the lowest grossing movie ever shown on over 4000 screens.
Kidnap- The only thing kidnapped was my brain watching this drek.
9)Sarah Palin- This doofus lost her libel bid against the NYT for an op-ed that was untrue, but corrected the next day and, truth be told, had little fallout for the ex-VP. That is until she made it a big story and decided to try to sue, a factor that was never going to happen as damages could never be proven. So instead she looks like even a bigger loser. Good. Her and W's acceptance by the GOP led to idiot Trump getting elected. Stupidity needs to be stamped out.
8)Southern Poverty Law Center- These guys are a lot like the ACLU where I find myself agreeing with them 80% of the time and feel the other 20% they go too far. However, I am a little perplexed to understand why this group, a non profit, is funneling millions of dollars through off shore bank accounts. They don't pay taxes so avoidance of that isn't it. So why? There has been NO official word but until they do, I would be very skeptical of anything they say or do as this could have illegality written all over it. Where is the money going guys?
7)Old Female Democrats- Other than Liz Warren, this group seems to be filled with dangerous harpies who can't get out of politics fast enough. Dianne Fienstein has way outlived her usefulness, having a deranged town hall where she praised Trump and shot down every progressive idea out there. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is corrupt beyond words and may be facing heat for the trial for her former IT guy arrested fleeing the country as it is getting started. Patty Murray is in the back pocket of Big Pharma. Nancy Pelosi as a fundraiser lately has been subpar, literally the ONLY reason she still has her job and she is failing at it. Claire McCatskill shot down single payer again. I have hope that younger women, like Kamala Harris who bravely came out for single payer, will follow in her footsteps and tell the octogenarian crowd it's time to retire.
6)The Police- You guys do know what cameras are right? I am asking because there were three incidents this week where police were caught on tape doing something really stupid. One happened somewhere (can't remember where but there is a video out there of this) in which a black woman confronts a guy on a bike who happens to be an off duty cop after he almost hits her. She goes to get back in her car, never having touched the guy just yelled at him, when he slams her to the ground and arrests her. Guess who's on paid leave now and almost certain to be fired? Then there was the cop who got fired for telling a terrified white woman that he wasn't going to shoot her because she wasn't black. Yeah, that 'll make me feel better. This tells us we are ALL afraid of cops now. The biggest one was the arrest of a nurse, white as well, who refused to break the law because a cop said so, showed him the paperwork why she couldn't comply and was arrested when two cops thought differently. They are fucked. If they don't lose their jobs, the career is still effectively over. They will NEVER get promoted and chances are in the case of the LT who gave the OK to arrest, may lose his rank. I know a cop this happened to for his idiocy so it does happen. These guys are on borrowed time if they can't see the public, race aside, are all being attacked by an out of control police force. This won't end well if they go one step too far and the public deems them a problem instead. Read history about that.
5)Joel Osteen and Tyler Perry- I HATE televangelists and mega churches and other obscene showings of wealth. Joel Olsteen was shamed into opening his Houston area church after claims of flooding was proven untrue by locals who stood outside the mega church and filmed it. Once inside, the greedy dick solicited donations from parishioners to help pay for this, put of course just went into pocket. Tyler Perry who makes those awful Medea movies gave a $1,000,000 donations to Houston with a quarter of that going to Olsteen. WTF? Why not just burn the money if you are going to waste it. This douche doesn't need any more money. He has plenty of his own. You people are idiots. The worship of wealth is evil and these guys don't get it. It's only in the Bible.
4)Sylvester Turner- The mayor of Houston said it was impossible to evacuate six million people which if true, means these people will die if they ever need to. Every city on Earth should have one just in case. What happens when an event occurs that needs an evacuation? Millions will die needlessly because no one wanted to do the hard work. I have worked with the federal government about evacuation plans for a plague event. Some of what I said was implemented during Katrina and what they didn't fell apart just like I said it would. The death toll from Harvey was low by luck. Next time, if you don't get people out, many more may die.
3)Republicans/Texans- How's that anti climate changy thing going guys? Or that regulations suck? What I can't hear you under all that water. You say your drowning? No shit. Look, climate change is real and not some bullshit made up story so George Soros can give you a new immigrant to take your job away from you. It's real and the proof is in the science. You like the Bible, I get it. But it isn't real and it isn't science and until you get your head out of your ass you're going to all drown. Stop building chemical plants with no safety standards next to a kindergarten. Leave the wetlands alone. For God's sake stop electing people with single digit IQ's to positions of power because right now it is a parade of stupid. Or, get your affairs in order because the end is nigh for this state.
2)Trump- God this man is an idiot. He is about to end DACA which will spell disaster for 800,000 people. It also might tip the scales against the GOP come 2018 to such an extent that a wave election becomes even more likely which is why many Republicans in Congress have pleaded with him to keep it. They know their jobs are in jeopardy if he does it. His trips to Houston came off poorly with the first seeing no damage or survivors and the second where he told everyone as he was leaving to "have a good time." Yeah, that's what they are having.He promised quick work to get everything back to normal which is not going to happen. Sandy victims are still waiting for insurance payments and that was five years ago. Now he has to deal with North Korea on a collusion course with the world which will most likley end in pain and death. Fun.
1)North Korea- They really upped the ante this week. The missile test over Japan was bad enough but now they did a nuke test that may be an H-bomb. I have spent the last few months pouring over how WW2 started and was amazed by one fact that everyone seems to have glossed over and it is this: military operations could have been used at least four times versus Hitler where he would have been defeated long before tens of millions would have died. Each time the attack was stopped because "the consequences of casualties was too high to contemplate." Sound familiar? The French, The British, the Belgians and so on all failed to attack Hitler because they feared the consequences of mass causalities would have been worse than doing nothing. But each time by doing nothing, Hitler was emboldened to go further and further and until only war could stop him and by that time, instead of a casualty rate in the tens of thousands, the number escalated to tens of millions. We face the same factors now. If war is inevitable, and it is, as if we let them keep nukes, what's to stop them from blackmailing us to give up South Korea, which they almost certainly will do? War at that point could be a death doll in the hundreds of millions, versus the millions way back when in 1953 we should have ended this fucking thing once and for all. We now stand at losing tens of millions versus possibly the planet and that's only if we act within the next few months.There is no choice here but to immediately demand an attack on North Korea. I know this isn't what you want to hear but we are out of time. There is no more can to kick. Military action is now the ONLY solution short of a peace deal which is as likely as me marrying Katy Perry and Lady Gaga as sister/wives. Be prepared for the hell coming our way no matter what happens because this war is going to be bloody, short and a death toll in the tens of millions. Expect to see Seoul and Tokyo wiped from the planet as well as some American cities and territories as well. We will not come out of this unscathed. And that is a best case scenario. History shows if we wait, it will be even worse and possibility planet ending. Congratulations North Korea, you are indeed douchebag of the week.
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