DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: GOVERNMENT SPENDAHOLICS AND CHEAPSKATES

Another week, another round of douchebags. Let's see those runner ups.

1)MSM- These brainpowers have decided that the Zimmerman case isn't screwed up enough and are now helping it become even worse, especially if you have the misfortune of living in Sanford, FL. Recent stories say Black Panthers and Neo-Nazis are inches away from a race war that will annihilate the city and anyone residing there. The truth of the matter is that there are only a handful of either of these racists in town and are being exploited to raise ratings or increase newspaper sales. A recent expose showed less than ten Black Panthers at a rally and a lone Neo-Nazi walking the street with his race hating kids. Not exactly the Watts or LA Riots potential here. These asses are making stuff up now to fill the 24/7 newscycle no one asked for. These false allegations are killing tourism within the town as everyone is fearful of a race riot breaking out while they are having a muffin at the local bakery. There are real problems out there and these idiots are making stuff up. How about reporting about, Oh I don't know, ANYTHING, like say the BP oil spill, the Fukishima radiation still being emitted, the fracking causing earthquakes in the Midwest, or any other story that actually affects our lives. Stop making stuff up and report the FREAKING NEWS. CNN was given that as an option when they revamped their channel last year. Alas they went with the gossipy, mean girl attitude instead that makes them the WORST channel to watch for news. If you can beat Fox News at worst news channel, you have done something horribly wrong.

2)Mitt Romney- As Bill Maher put it, everytime the GOP gets caught doing something stupid, they find some nitpicky, bullshit factoid to equate the democrats to and say it's all a push. The latest round of garbage from the Romney camp is that since Obama ate dog meat when he was six in Indonesia, it's the same as Romney strapping his terrified dog to the roof of his car and driving hundreds of miles like that. NO IT ISN'T. This is the same crap as when Republicans tried to tie Hillary Rosen's comments about Ann Romney being a stay at home mom to the GOP's war on women. Luckily, the American people aren't falling for this nonsense.

3)Euro- Tomorrow could be a dark day for the DOW if the predictions about the Euro are correct. Word has been leaking out since Friday that Spain is inches from default and have even put a 2500 limit on the amount of Euros that can be spent as cash in any transaction (more on this in the coming days). With unemployment running as high as fifty percent among young people, this could lead to major problems. Add to this a certain default on the Dutch government which is bordering on collapse and new elections due to restructuring difficulties, the loss of Sarkozy to a more socialistic politician and the continuing problems of the PIIGS of the Euro and Monday may see a huge loss in the DOW. However, as the DOW is not run by anything resembling logic anymore, what it will actually do is anyone's guess.

4)TSA- These assholes are trying to have VIPER teams set up EVERYWHERE with their naked scanners in every government building, train station and point of transit nationwide. If this happens, people may riot in the streets and kill anyone wearing a TSA outfit. I saw a TSA officer in the supermarket the other day and the only reason I didn't tell him to FUCK OFF was he had three small children with him. Word to the wise, if you work for the TSA, don't wear your outfit in public. There's a good chance that you will meet the wrong person at the wrong time and get a strip search of your own. You guys are not cops. Stop acting like ones.

5)Environmental disasters- Fukishima and the BP oil spill are killing wildlife, ecosystems and people worldwide yet the MSM keeps telling us everything is all right. NBC news last night said the Gulf seafood was fine to eat, even though scientists and fisherman are all saying differently. The only people screaming Kevin Bacon style that all is well (50 points for anyone who gets that reference) are the news media and government and we all know how accurate they are. This week I will provide further updates on both including a possibility that 30% of Fukishima children may have early forms of cancer, a number unheard of before this.

6)Government spendaholics and cheapskates- This has been a bad week for almost every party or group connected with the government. First, let's look at the Secret Service who, thanks to one cheap bastard who refused to pay the hooker what she wanted (which mind you was way higher than most hookers charge in the area by $750), the entire Secret Service is now under investigation. Many have been let go and more are expected. How popular do you think cheapskate McGee is going to be now that he has been let go? Good luck with that resume douche. On the flip side, we have taxpayer money going to fund Newt Gingrich's failed campaign for Secret Service protection by $32,000 a week. Shouldn't he have to pay for this service, not the US taxpayer? Doofus was bit by a penguin this week showing even Mother Nature is pissed at him. Then we have Jeff Nealy, a GSA official, who pleaded the fifth in front of Congress this past week for answers about the lavish spending he has done, including a two week trip to places like Hawaii and Bali which emails suggest was a birthday present for his wife. This is the same group that spent almost a million dollars on an extravagant Vegas conference that got the head of the GSA fired and is supposed to be watching out for government overspending. Christ. But no one takes the cake this week like Leon Panetta. The Secretary of Defense has been spending almost a million dollars a year to fly back to his home in CA EVERY WEEKEND. As he can't travel by commercial flight due to some bullshit regulation the Bush administration dreamed up, he flies home every weekend on military flights at a cost of over $30,000 per round trip. Here's a helpful hint: MOVE TO DC DOUCHE! If you didn't want to, you should have never taken the job. Isn't it funny how broke we are to do anything, but these assholes get money up the wazoo to waste as they see fit. It's like the GOP bitching about $300,000 for Planned Parenthood as a waste of money but raising taxes on millionaires will "only" raise $47 billion dollars and is not worth the time for such a paltry sum. You can't have it both ways losers. So congratulations Leon Panetta, in a week filled with spendthrifts douchebags, you take the cake and are indeed douchebag of the week.