Most people are probably wondering just who in hell is Brian Moynihan and how someone you’ve never heard of can be Douchebag of the Week. Read on to find out and let's see those runner ups as well.
1)Keith Olbermann/Current TV- Much like the Zimmerman case, this fight has both sides duking it out as to who is the bigger ass. Earlier this week Olbermann was fired from his job at Current TV. The station heads say Olbermann was a demanding diva who was a constant pain in the ass. He responds that the station was badly run and had equipment from some time during the Eisenhower administration. Olbermann has long been known as a kind of dick so no surprise there. And Current TV has got to be the hardest channel to find in this country as it only appears on a few markets throughout the country such as Time Warner cable in NY and LA. If you plan on running a channel you might want to get a few more outlets before starting because this is retarded.
2)NBC- Not to be outdone by the above header, NBC has been caught redhanded altering the 911 tapes from George Zimmerman which may actually make them liable for civil damages, if not criminal prosecution. In one exchange on the fateful night with the 911 operator, Zimmerman's comments are mushed together to make him sound like a racist, when in reality he is answering the operator's question as to the suspect's race. Ironically, Fox News is the one that broke the story, shaming NBC news to the core as this is the kind of crap we would EXPECT from Fox News not vice versa. MSM really is dead in the water.
3)Black Leaders- In the sit down and shut up category are people like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Spike Lee, and the ultra-racist New Black Panthers who seem to only have three members, who while rightfully outraged, need to calm things down lest things get completely out of hand. Is a race war really what you’re going for because that's where we are headed? They have been calling for Zimmerman's head on a plate which, again ironically, reminds me of the lynchings you would see down south in the early twentieth century. Zimmerman hasn't been convicted of anything, but he should be arrested. Put pressure on the local police and the Governor, not Zimmerman. Until he's been convicted, he should be treated innocent until proven guilty, even though all the evidence we've seen certainly points toward the latter. But that's why we have a justice system. If Casey Anthony is any indication, I wouldn't get your hopes up for a conviction at this rate. This case is screwed and the police and Governor all ultimately at fault. Remember that come election time for these idiots.
4)Newt Gingrich- His sugar daddy billionaire pulled the plug on Gingrich's withering campaign and, as a result, half his staff was let go. Maybe it’s time to have the rest go home and go take a nice long vacation off the coast of Somalia or perhaps a jaunt through downtown Damascus. Just saying.
5)Rick Santorum/MSM- This jerk got caught calling the president Nigger under his breath, and the MSM misses it completely. Unbelievable.
6)Mike Hukabee- Anyone who reads this column knows that my opinion of the religious right, or the American Taliban as I call them, is a dangerous movement within this country. Last night while flipping channel, I came across an interview with some right wing, religious nutbag who had just written a book about the lack of morals in this country, especially on TV. While I believe modern music to be far worse, TV does have its share of over the top, not for children stuff at eight o'clock. However, not all of us have kids and we matter too. That's why you’re parents and turn the damned channel like my parents did when I was growing up. If you don't like it, don't watch. This jerk was horrified that his kids were being exposed to "alternate lifestyles," or gay people as it is commonly known, showing him to be the bigot he really is. Then, after a clip of GCB, Huckabee when on to say how dare they portray Christians as mean-spirited, shallow, materialistic, hypocritical douchebags. Sounds about right to me.
7)CBS- A lot of media errors and Fox News is the one hero this week. Talk about an upside down world. Yes, CBS, in showing a replay during last night college basketball game, missed the last few seconds in a close game. Where do you hire these people? I couldn't find a job in TV a decade ago but apparently, if this week is any indicator, you'll hire any ass with a two bit resume now. Stunning.
8)Paul Ryan/GOP- In another shocking bit of ineptitude, the House voted along party lines to pass the "new" Paul Ryan budget plan that looked suspiciously like the exact same one submitted last year. That plan was shot down by the Senate and will again. However, any democrat worth his salt will use this awful, evil plan in every TV ad across the country until Election Day. If European austerity measures are what you're seeking, this plan has it all. Ending SS, Medicare, and Medicade as well as unemployment insurance, food stamps and every other welfare program imaginable just so rich people can get bigger tax breaks. Now to be left out, corporations get to "lower" their taxes which are really quite impossible as most of them pay nothing now, while screaming simultaneously about having the highest tax rate in the world. People hated this plan last year with the republicans getting screamed at town hall meetings by their own constituents. It's like they want to lose. The GOP are pushing a fascist agenda, meaning support for them makes you a fascist as well. Remember that.
9)Brian Moynihan- The CEO of Bank of America got a huge raise this week which is stunning in that it was under him that the company lost billions. So this year, when they made a huge profit, his salary quadrupled. The reason why the company made this huge profit was by dumping their entire derivative market onto FDIC shoulders, estimated to be somewhere around $70 trillion. JP Morgan/Chase bank did the same with some $43 Trillion. If the derivative market crashes, the FDIC is on the hook for far more than the entire world could pay back. This means that the money in your account will go poof as far richer investors will almost certainly get paid first and we'll get nothing. So congratulation Brian Moynihan, you are indeed douchebag of the week.