Sunday, April 7, 2013


If everyone's favorite midget tyrant didn't continue his belligerence this week, Barack Obama would have been the sure winner with one of the stupidest thing I have seen any President do EVER. Let's see those runner ups, of which, there are some doozies in their own right.

1)Parking Scams- In Israel and California this week, came proof positive over why we don't trust the government any more. In both cases, some unsuspecting person parked his car, went to work, only to come back and find out that there was a ticket on the car for illegal parking. The problem was, before they went to work, they were parked legally. In Tel Aviv, workers painted a handicapped spot around a woman's car and then ticketed and towed the car parked there. She rightfully complained and was told to go blow and pay the enormous fine of $365. Luckily for her, there was a surveillance camera nearby which showed everything she alleged was true and the local government was forced to back down. After which, everyone was sorry and apologized. I hope some one gets fired at least. In Sacramento, the same week, a man was ticketed after "no parking" signs were posted while his car was parked in front of his house. He, like the Israeli woman, fought the ticket and was rebuffed. After getting some media attention on it where evidence was found that the signs had been installed that day, contrary to what the parking commission has determined, the fine was refunded. The man has decided to move after all of this. Way to piss off the public.

2)Oversensitive idiots- When did we become such a nation a sniveling, cry babies? A flight was diverted recently after some hypersensitive fools demanded the plane stop showing the film "Alex Cross," which was rated PG-13. The attendants told the family it was not possible to turn off certain monitors and caused such a fuss about it, the place got diverted. I would be pissed too if I had to sit through "Alex Cross," but for wildly different reasons. But if you think your kids are not seeing stuff like this everyday on television, you really are not paying attention.

3)Republicans- It wouldn't be a douchebag column without some Tea Bagger somewhere saying or doing something asinine. This week, we have John Fleming (R-LA), who in the past expressed genuine outrage over a satirical story in the Onion about a $8 billion "abortionplex" being built with tax payer money, appearing with fellow douchebag Tony Perkins (of the hate group the FRC) slammed the UN small arms trade as an assault on the 2nd amendment, which would in actuality do no such thing. This is fearmongering at it's worst and one of the reason we can get nothing done. We joined Iran, North Korea and Syria as the only countries not signing the treaty. That is some company guys. On the flip side we have Nelson, Georgia which passed a law making it mandatory to own a gun. I am all for gun rights but even I don't believe EVERYONE should own a gun. That is a sure fire way to get a lot of people killed. Not everyone is capable of being responsible enough to own a gun and statistics show that there a lot of people who fall into this category with accidental shootings and suicides. This is anti-gun control run amok. And then there is Louie Gohmert (R-TX) who somehow equated gun control and bestiality. Jon Stewart summed it up best this week when asked what is up with all these Republicans and animal fucking. The winner of this bunch has to be the State of North Carolina that is actively trying to make Christianity the state religion, ignoring the fact that the Constitution expressly forbids such an action. How come all these Bible thumpers say we are destroying the country and then go about actively trying to just that? This is the same legislature that tried to ban global warming. Ugh.

4)Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian- After the rug was pulled out from beneath that whole Petreaus/Broadwell/Allen/Kelly fiasco we learned how the rich stay rich by pretending to hold charity functions and then keep most of the money for themselves. Turns out Lamar and Khloe's cancer charity, Supporting Cathy's Kids, is the same. Uncovered by ESPN of all places, they found documents that showed of the $2.2 million raised since 2004, not one dime had actually gone to the charity, but instead went to other projects like "elite" basketball programs. However, investigations into even that showed some discrepancies meaning, most likely, the money was pocketed by the two. What a bunch of douchebags, literally stealing money from sick children. I hope they both get cancer and their fucking demon offspring.

5)CNN- This week CNN unrolled a new program from their new CEO Jeff Zucker, poorly named "Get To The Point!". Ignoring the fact that this was the man who ran NBC into the ground, his latest new shows appear to be sinking like a rock. Ratings dropped by 50% from a repeat of Anderson Cooper that used to run in the ten o'clock slot. The show is a terrible clone of the almost as awful The Five on Fox News which has four Ayn Rand talking heads and a near dead democrat discussing how great Republicans are and why democrats are ultimately doomed. It's not a comedy but it sure plays like one. When your show's title becomes a rallying cry, you know you've failed.

6)Fox News- Speaking of The Five, as well as every other program this week on the Nazi propaganda network (no joke, that is how Fox News got started in the 40's), apparently it is a democratic conspiracy to fire coaches who beat their players, as happened this week to Mike Rice of Rutger's after a video surfaced showing just that. Fox said that beating people was perfectly acceptable and we shouldn't be such a nation of whiners. While I would agree with the oversensitive nonsense, pummeling school kids is not okay. Sean Hannity said his father beat him with a belt and he turned out just fine. Yeah. Right. I beg to differ.

7)Egypt- This week an arrest warrant was issued for the most popular comic in Egypt, Bassem Youseff, for insulting Egypt and Islam. The Jon Stewart of his country, his satirical show pokes fun at everything and is now paying for it as Muslims have the same sense of humor as the religious wing nuts in our country. Let's hope we don't start seeing that same stuff here.

8)DHS- The Neo-Gestapo strikes again. Memos were sent out to Border Patrol agencies telling them they will not be issued any new ammo for the next quarter. WTF? We know for a fact that these guys have been buying so much ammo that they have created a shortage, affecting police departments and regular buyers alike. So if you didn't buy the ammo for training purposes, as you have already claimed, what in the hell is it for really? Congress wants answers and so do I. Here's the letter:

Enforcement Personnel,
Due to budget concerns and ammunition availability, we will not be getting issued any proficiency ammunition for next quarter. In addition to these reductions, we are also being limited to qualification ammo only. What this means to you is that you will not receive the normal 150 rounds for practice and we will not have any extra ammunition for a combat course following normal qualifications.

If you have the ammunition available and would like extra practice during your qualification day, the firearms instructors will have a training course available for Indio Station Personnel, keeping in mind basic marksmanship skills as well as tactical training with a limited amount of ammunition. You are not required to bring your own ammunition.

If you do not have extra ammo to bring, you will be given extra time to clean and maintain your issued handgun as well as station long arms.

If you have any questions about this quarters (sic) quals please feel free to send me your concerns.

Once again WTF?

9)David Cameron- This ass stood in front of Parliament and claimed North Korean missiles could strike London at any time. Whatever he has been smoking, I want some. There is no credible evidence that this is even remotely possible.

10)Barack Obama- Just missing out on the top spot this week is our President. I will give him credit that he has done something no President has been able to do in some time. It didn't matter whether you in a red state or blue, Democrat or Republican, young or old, veteran or peacenik, everyone in the country stood together and in one loud voice told Obama to go fuck himself. This ass, in an extraordinary bit of chutzpah and political stupidity, is about to release a budget plan that is being universally hailed as the single worst piece of legislation to come out of the executive office since Nixon started the War on Drugs. Seems in order to get Republicans on board, he has included the Chained CPI index into his budget plan, which will give anyone on SS less money year after year, as if inflation does not exist. Democrats howled over this and his two biggest supporters, the AFL-CIO and AARP, have made it clear they HATE the idea and will destroy any politician going along with it. The Republicans have made it clear as well that as there are tax hikes in the budget plan, they will not support it either. So Captain Numnuts came up with a plan that has absolutely no one on either side supporting it. Genius. He has done real damage to the democratic party, AGAIN, and faces impeachment if this shit continues. Anyone supporting the Chained CPI index is a traitor to this country and deserves to be treated a such. Obama has shown he is a corporate stooge once again, and I am tired of the whole debacle. A huge war with North Korea might be an improvement.

11)North Korea- Kim Jong Un has been quiet the last few days but that hasn't stopped much of anything. Tensions are still sky high and we have been quietly moving in B1 bombers, B2 bombers and E-6 "Doomsday" planes, that I had never heard of before today, to Guam and other area bases near the Pacific Rim. The E-6 help co-ordinate with nuclear subs in case of an all out attack. They being moved into the area is an ominous sign. Worse, two North Korea subs have gone "Red October" and disappeared from sight. What might happen after April 10th is a big unknown. Let us hope that Un may not be as deranged as he seems. So congratulation Kim Jung Un, or "Kim Fatty" and "Fatty the Third" as the Chinese have been known to say, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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