FOX NEWS SKEWERS DEBATE TO MARGINALIZE TRUMP AND FAILS MISERABLY. WHO WON AND WHO LOST!

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to this battle royal here at the not ironically named Quicken Loans Arena. We have a true spectacle for you tonight in the ring containing ten of the best candidates/wrestlers who will be duking it out for the top spot in tonight's match. I am your announcer, the Warmonger, who will be giving a play by play for each blow given by the pastiest competitors I have ever seen since albino day at Disney World. Let's get ready to RUUUUMMMMMBBBLLLEEEE!
The three refs, nicknamed Bimbo, Softball and Limp Dick, will be doing the darnedest to keep the peace but we expect little of that tonight with such vitriol expected between them and the front runner, Donald "the Hair" Trump. The other nine are waiting for the bell, with Jeb "the Failed Legacy" Bush and Scott "Koch Sucker" Walker apparently asleep in the corner. The anticipation is high for some high jinx and we know the audience will not be disappointed.

And there's the bell. The first strike at the Hair from the entire Fox News staff ruffles his comb as he refuses to rule out a third party run and the audience boos in disapproval. He counters and accidentally knocks Marco "Thirsty Boy" Marco off his roost. Failed Legacy and Koch Sucker rouse briefly and then fall back asleep again. Rand "NSA Killer" Paul attacks The Hair next but fails to land the blow, smacking into Chris "Crisco" Christie instead and knocking him into the audience killing two.

What a blood match so far, people. Thirsty Boy has noticed Failed Legacy sleeping and jumps on his head, screaming something about Florida being his state "beyotch." Mike "the Bishop" Huckabee has just noticed an audience member wearing a Planned Parenthood shirt and has attacked her with a chair, disqualifying him immediately. Oh, the humanity.

The NSA Killer has gotten Crisco in a headlock, but his slipped out as they argue over security versus privacy rights. Crisco counters with the traditional 911 defense which at this point is getting real old and tired. Ben "the Black guy" Carson has been all but invisible so far probably because his skin color is making him unseen to GOP voters but lands a few blows versus John "the Sanest Choice" Kasich, but nobody seems to be paying attention to either.

Ted "Shutdown" Cruz has been crying in the corner since this started and appears to be having a meltdown until he notices Koch Sucker still asleep and kicks him in the nuts hard. As Walker has no balls the effects were minimal.

What's this now? The undercard candidates have stormed the ring with Carla "Job Killer" Fiorina hitting Trump with a chair knocking him briefly to the mat and then beating him without mercy as he struggles to get up. Joining her is Rick "Niggerhead" Perry who has elbow dropped on the Hair with several near fatal blows, but the Hair is unfazed knocking the two back into the cheap seats where they belong.

Linsday "the Foppish" Graham has tripped over his own feet and has apparently knocked himself out, much to the delight of 90% of the voting public. Rick "Holier than Thou" Santorum has tried to get anyone to fight him but has been roundly ignored as the top ten continue to beat on each other. Bobby "Thank you come again" Jindal is being slowly crushed under the combined weight of Crisco, Huckabee (who refuses to leave) and Ted Cruz, which must total in the millions of pounds. George "I Really was Governor" Pataki and Jim "the Unknown Candidate" Gilmore have left the ring and are currently at a Bennigan's across the street watching the match.

Failed Legacy and Koch Sucker are getting beat up bad out there to such an extent you'd think they'd throw in the towel. Carson has cracked some lame jokes which Bimbo, Limp Dick and Softball found really funny, even if they weren't, much to the horror of the Hair who has knocked the Black guy flat on his ass with his sharper wit.

It appears the Fox News staff have thrown effigies of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama into the ring, which all the candidates are eagerly ripping apart with great glee. Oh, I am being told those are not effigies but a black man and a woman dressed up like these two, symbolizing what they plan to do with women and black people's rights if elected. My condolences for their families.

And that's it folks and the clear winner, according to the refs is, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee and Scott Walker? WTF? RIGGED! The audience has stormed the ring, beyond angry at this obvious manipulation and are putting Trump on their shoulders, kicking Bush and Walker on the way out.

That is how it played out last night, at least in my deranged mind. Fox news got caught blatantly shilling for Walker and others and dismissing Trump from the first question on. The after explanation on Fox went on to praise Walker, Huckabee and Cruz and dismissing Trump as a failure.

The only problem was perception on the Internet was the opposite. Poll after poll had Trump winning. Fox News is getting hammered for trying to make Trump look bad and ignoring hard questions for easy to hit ones instead. No questions on jobs, the economy, guns, climate change and lip service for many others. Planned Parenthood and Hillary was all I heard for two hours and no solutions for anything from anyone.

Frank Luntz's focus group afterward was so obviously stacked against Trump they might as well as advertised it that way before hand. Their opinion, very anti-Trump, was at odds with the polls that said otherwise and was apparent to even the dumbest person that they were trying to stack the deck toward Walker and others who most likely have no chance on the big stage.

According to most polls I saw, Trump won last night. The biggest loser, and one even Fox News couldn't deny was Bush, who was TERRIBLE last night and did himself no favors. And contrary to Fox, Walker didn't do much better. Two others, Cristie and Huckabee, which Fox News said did awesome, finished dead last in a lot of polls.

The media is trying to give us a Bush/Hillary contest that no one wants.The good news is that after last night's debate and Hillary's possible criminal trial approaching, neither may make it that long. The better news is the public is seeing right through it as well.

THE UPCOMING DEBATES AND WHY HILLARY IS STACKING THE DECK IN HER FAVOR WITH THE HELP OF THE DNC!

Tonight comes the first two Republican debates, with ten more to follow over the next few months. The kid's table is filled with people who have NO chance of ever becoming the nominee short of everyone else in the second debate dying or imploding with some sort of weird sex scandal. In short, it's not going to happen. Many have asked why they all weren't allowed in the nine o'clock debate, to which I answer, why were they were allowed to debate at all.

There are others running for President as well who are not as well known but statistically are equal to people like Rick Santorum, George Pataki or Jim Gilmore, who I still have no earthly idea who exactly he is. Why don't others like Skip Andrews, George Bailey (that is his real name by the way) or Michale Bicklemeyer get on the stage too? They are all declared candidates for the Republican nomination and have just as much chance as the seven losers at the five o'clock debate. Oh, but because they aren't famous to a certain extent, or have held some sort of office no matter how brief (Gilmore was a one term Virginia Governor about a hundred years ago), they get to spout their nonsense but the other dozen running get squat. Yeah, that's fair.

What Fox should have done is eliminate anyone under a certain percentage, using as many polls as possible, and narrow the field to the top eight. There is already some controversy as the polls Fox used seemed arbitrary, like not using a NBC/Marist poll for some reason that made no statistical sense. Much like the Democrats are also doing, the RNC is fixing the narrative so you get to watch only what they want you to. However, because Donald Trump is there, they have no control over someone they would really rather not have. But the polls are too strong to ignore even if this entry threatens the status quo as much as Bernie Sanders does for the left.

We are being told who to vote for with the powers that be desiring a Bush/Hillary narrative that 90% of America wants no part of. Unfortunately for those really running the show, both are flaming out hard this week. Jeb Bush stepped in it hard AGAIN, when he said defunding a half a billion dollars for women's health was a great idea. Needless to say, this did not go over well. Poll after poll say that this country is overwhelmingly pro-choice no matter how much the GOP says otherwise. Anti-abortion legislation has failed at the voting box in even the most conservative state which is why they have gone the other route and had Congress enact laws instead, bypassing the voter completely. This is the new norm by the way where things like background checks for guns or an end to patent trolls keeps dying in a government that really doesn't want to change either, no matter what they tell us publicly.

The democrats announced only four debates before the Iowa caucus and two after, as well as a ban from participating in any other "unsanctioned" debates, lest they be disbarred from attending the ones the DNC wants. This only helps Hillary and hurts every other candidate, not to mention the American people who should be allowed to see how the candidates inform us of their opinions in a public way. Again, Sanders, O'Malley are pissed, especially as for some inane reason the first DNC debate isn't until October. Why? The debates are the only way for us to see how bad Hillary is and how great Sanders is to a national audience, thus the reason why we and the democratic candidates that don't have a vagina are not happy with this.

Hillary has another problem with a criminal probe into her emails. Depending on what you listen to or read, conflicting reports are coming out from this. Some say she is under a criminal probe and other deny it. Here's the fact: Hillary is under a criminal probe from the FBI according to my FBI sources as ALL investigations by the FBI involve criminal intent as that's how they roll. The Inspector General who reviewed her emails found that out of forty he looked at, four contained classified information that was classified at the time, the exact opposite of what Hillary has said.

This same types of crimes cost Sandy Berger his job and law license and General Petraeus his job and his political future. How this might affect Hillary is unknown but could eventual derail her Presidental ambition. How funny would it be if she lost because of not foreseeing the issues with having a private email account.

So tomorrow I will review tonight's two debates which I plan on watching with a bowl of popcorn and a pillow to punch when someone says something so stupid I lose my temper which I expect to happen with alarming regularity. The election season officially starts tonight and I am looking more forward to this debate than any previous year because of one and only one reason: Donald Trump. I am curious to see what kind of bloodbath happens and I expect it to be that bad. Make sure you come back dear readers because my column tomorrow is going to be a real winner, unlike the morons I will be writing about.

JAMES HOLMES, KEN PAXTON AND OTHER THINGS THAT WE KNEW WOULD HAPPEN!

James Holmes was found to be mentally competent to receive the death penalty today, after the jury spent all of two hours deliberating, most likely only taking that long to get a free lunch out of it. I admit I am torn on this one. Yes he was a giant dick for gunning down a bunch of innocent people, who's only bright spot was they didn't have to sit through a pretty awful Batman movie, but is it okay to execute someone even the court recognizes as mentally ill?

I have seen mental illness up close. Hell, I'm engaged to a person whose is literally certifiable. The funny part is I have also in the past dated women who suffered from manic depression and schizophrenia. Neither are alive today. One shot herself and the other OD'd. Apparently I have a type. I have also watched this country dismantle the mental health services so severely that even the rich can't find places to put their insane brood. Where once, way back in the 70's when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, we had 4000 beds nationwide. Now with twice as many people we have 400. WTF?

There is no question Holmes is sick. But is it Constitutional to execute someone who is? Expect the courts to take this up next year as this case will go to them at some point. This could open up a whole can of worms as to is it legal to house the mentally ill in prisons like we do now? I think not actually but the courts may be deciding that sooner than later as well.

A far funnier news piece hit today when it came out that the Attorney General for Texas, Ken Paxton, was arrested today for several counts of fraud. Apparently he "forgot" to tell clients at his former law firm that the people he was steering business to gave him a commission for everyone he sent their way, a big no-no in this country.  He faces five to 99 years for each count of which there are several. The Tea Party idiot's mugshot show him smiling into the camera, like this all one big joke. Or maybe he knows that this will probably never go anywhere and the whole mess will get swept under the table as that is now the society in which we live.

Jimmy Carter, perhaps the finest ex-President ever (and one of the worst Presidents when it came to dealing with the Iranian hostage situation), gave an interview recently where he said what we all knew: the country is lost and the rich control us all.

He accurately stated that the consolidation of Big Media to only six outlets has stifled free speech and Citizen's United made bribery legal. Watch the news and see the narrative they are giving us: Bush and Clinton are next in line and we should all just get behind it. I have to give it to the Republicans who have looked at their field of candidates and have said to hell with most of the them. The reason Donald Trump is at the top is because, like it or not, he IS the best candidate they have on that side of the aisle. He is the only one to say he doesn't like the TPP, will protect Social Security and Medicare and has wisely kept his mouth shut about abortion and gay rights, which I hate to break it to the right, but he supports rights for both no matter what he may say. Like any good politician, he will lie to get elected. This may be one case where being a trained liar may work to all of our advantage.

As Trump rises in the polls, which is as high as 31% now in some polls, 14 other GOP candidates are descending on NH to attend a "meeting" with the Koch brothers. Trump has accurately called everyone who attended "puppets," and expect him to hammer that home on the debate on Thursday. Expect him to be far better, doing the smart thing of downplaying his success right now, than some blowhard with an unstable piece of dynamite. Trump is very smart in a lot of ways and Thursday he just might wipe some people off the map if he hits them where it hurts. A lot of these candidates are vulnerable. Christie has Bridgegate, Walker has Wisconsin's economy around his neck and Bush is well, a Bush. There is a lot of places to ruin someone here and Trump could have lots of bullets in his gun without ever reloading.

 Hillary Clinton is driving me nuts to the point where I just wish she would go away. In a recent interview she danced around the TPP and Keystone Pipeline questions AGAIN, which makes me mental everytime she does it. Her gaffes, like this, and lingreing questions about her emails are making democrats nervous as they start to beg others to run. I love Bernie Sanders, but even I realize that the powers that be are never going to let that happen. Because of lack of money, Sanders will most likely lose which is sad because I think he is our best hope to fix all that is wrong. But even he says it's a long shot because we would also have to vote out a majority of Congress and replace them with people like Sanders. I doubt enough  even exist to radically make a difference.

So what are we left with? As democrats sour on Clinton whose inevitability seems less and less likely with each passing day, two new possibilities have emerged. One is logical, and that is VP Joe Biden. Biden is a good man with a good track record. He also has a tendency to stick both feet in his mouth and get WAY too touchy feely with some of women constituents. The second is way out in left field and that is CEO Howard Schultz, owner of Starbucks. The 35th richest man in the country will take on one of the richest Republicans should a Trump/Schultz contest win the primaries. Oh God, the humanity.

This is what we have come down: billionaires competing for a job that pays less than they make in a day. Citizen's United has ruined us as our elections have become free for alls for the rich and the rest of us do NOT matter. How do you think that is going to play out down the road when Fascism roars it's ugly head and it is far too late to do anything about it.

We are rapidly reaching a time when scientific discoveries may end things like aging, need of a work force and a rapidly dwindling resource pile. If the rich have all the money, never die, have no need for us and we are taking away things like fresh air and food, how long before they just kill us? Just asking because that is exactly where we are headed.

No election has been more important than this one and if we don't make some drastic changes, we are all headed for oblivion. The Republicans have recognized that and are behind Trump more and more. Why then are blacks, unmarried women and Hispanics so behind Hillary? She will screw us over like the last few decades of Presidents have done. It's time for a change and right now, Bernie is our best, last hope. Don't squander that for some bitch with a chip on her shoulder just so you can say you voted for the first woman president. Vote smarter. The Republicans are.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: DR. WALTER PALMER!

Wow there were a lot of douchebags out there this week, so many in fact that this week there will be 11 people on the list. I tried to cut it down more but these 11 were such idiots that they all had to be on here. No one was as hated on a global level more than Dr. Palmer, the dentist who killed an actual Lion King. He has since gone into hiding as his chances of coming out of this with just a slap on the wrist, like the last time he got caught poaching, are near nil and he is going to be very unpopular for some time. Hope you saved your money dick because your career and former life are over. Let's see those runner ups.

11)Paul Herbert- A quick tip for anyone scamming the government by collecting disability when you aren't actually disabled: Don't appear on TV for weeks on end doing hard labor that proves you aren't disabled. Well this schmuck from Wicked Tuna seemed to have missed that memo. Having appeared on the show since 2010, one has to wonder how inept the disability fraud department is. It's not like he was hiding it as his show went out to millions every week. Government inaction as always. The fifty year old from Gloucester, MA was indicted in Federal Court this week for collecting $44,000 over the same period time he was getting paid well for fishing tuna and appearing on a TV show every week. What a greedy douchebag. And all for a measly $44,000 over five years. Must be a Republican.

10) Perry Cohen, Austin Stephanos and their idiot families- This story made me madder than most. It was a tragedy that these two 14 year olds appear to have drowned off the coast of Florida this week. It was reckless and stupid to take a 19 foot fishing boat out into open waters but they were 14 years old for God's sake, so they get a little bit of slack. The parents however killed their children with their awesome ineptitude. For some inane reason they had neither a GPS on the boat to track where the boat was or an emergency beacon if something like this happened. It's not like they are poor, as Joe Namath lives near them, so money wasn't an issue. So let me get this straight, you trusted two 14 year old with zero supervision to always do the right thing and because of your super lax parenting styles they are now presumed dead. Way to go, guys. They are dead because you failed as parents. Live with that.
 
9)Dunkin Donuts CEO Nigel Travis- This elitist had the gall to say that raising the minimum wage to $15 in NYC was tantamount to treason and that people will get laid off and prices will rise. That may be true to a small extent but the price hikes will be minimal and job losses will be temporary as higher spending creates more jobs. We know this will happen as in places like Seattle, where the wage hike has already occurred, prices haven't skyrocketed, job losses have gone down and the city is growing at a faster pace than most. What is truly appalling is that fact that this ass makes something like $4500 an hour yet he expects the rest of us to starve. This is nothing new as the robber barons and the French aristocracy did the same thing around a hundred years ago. They both got into a lot of trouble for it, dying in some cases. Revolution is coming people like it or not. Let's try to make it as peaceful as possible by voting out all the Republicans come 2016. The Democrats may not be much better, but they won't intentionally drive the country back off a cliff again.

8)Bill Cosby- This freaking rapist just hired a new lawyer, a black woman at that, who is now trying to spin the close to 40 allegations against him as all lies, made up by people seeking money or fame or both. Nevermind the fact that almost none of these women have looked for anything but the truth and several are already rich and famous so why would they be lying exactly? Cosby is a serial rapist. Time to ignore his black ass until death finally comes for him, most likely to a much warmer climate where he is forced to watch Leonard Part 6 forever.

7)Mike Huckabee- Trying to be Trump-esque, this religious moron said the latest Iran deal was the worst thing ever and would be leading the Israelis right back into the ovens of Auschwitz. He actually said that. When pressed for an apology by the press, he refused saying he truly believed this nonsense. Everyone is vying for those ten spots as no one wants to be put at the children's table for the debate which will air at 5 PM on Fox Thursday, almost four hours before the big event. No one wants to be on the earlier one but at least six will be, most likely including Graham, Santorum, Fiorina, Jindal, Pataki and possibly Perry. These six, along with Mike Huckabee, are going to lose. As is whoever they nominate who may very well be Donald Trump.

6)Donald Trump/MSM- It wouldn't be a douchebag column without Trump's name on it. Buy we also have a tie with the MSM's coverage of what Trump said this week. Some muckraker found a blurb in Ivana Trump's book about their life together that inferred that Trump had raped her while married. Trump's laywer, and this is as tone deaf as it gets, said "by definition, you can't rape your spouse," which turned out to be untrue in all fifty states. But even with that stupid statement, it seems highly irresponsible to go with this story without first confirming it with the source, who denied any of it. This was all from a deposition during the Trump/Ivana divorce and trust me when I say that all sorts of falsehoods come out when you are pissed and hurt. None of this was news and again the MSM is to blame. It also didn't help that most stations are pushing Trump, Hillary and Bush ad naseum. Bernie Sanders is running too guys. How about a little press for him already? Stop forcing narratives down my throat.

5)Mathew Sanchez- This firefighter from Albuquerque got fired this week from his 911 job after he hung up on a dying man because he was upset over the caller's attitude. The man's friend was trying to help him after his was accidentally shot during a house party with obvious chaos involved. When he asked for the millionth time whether the victim was breathing, the caller got agitated answering the same question over and over. Sanchez had a snit fit over this and said "I am not dealing with this right now," and hung up to what I am sure was an open mouthed stare at the phone from the other side. The boy died soon after. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen and possible charges against Sanchez. Why is there an unemployment problem when so many assholes have jobs they obviously shouldn't?

4)Officer Ray Tensing- Speaking of assholes who shouldn't be working at their profession, the now fired, soon to be convicted felon, Ray Tensing, a Cincinnati campus cop, was caught on body camera executing an unarmed black man (REALLY?) and then trying to cover it up. This is getting old people. This dick wasn't even secretly filmed but was tripped up by his own body camera. How do you lie, with the help of fellow police, when the whole thing is on tape and you know it? That is some world class stupidity. At least he was fired right away AND arrested, unlike the Tamir Rice case which is still unresolved seven months after the killing occurred. Tensing made bail and is awaiting trial, to which his boss has publicly called him a true idiot and someone who should never have been a cop. Ouch! This guy is screwed.

3)Planned Parenthood videos- Yet another right wing hatchet job trying to demonize Planned Parenthood using heavily edited videos to champion their cause. I am sure if the entire video was released, we would see a far different narrative then the ones they are showing. It was this kind of yellow journalism that brought down ACORN, even though they were subsequently cleared of any wrong doing and the videos there shown were edited against them, just like PP. Even if PP was guilty of selling body parts, I don't care. The anti-abortion crowd is arguing it is far better to throw out useful items rather than use them for the betterment of mankind, as these could lead to cures for diabetes, Parkinson's and MS to name just a few. But we would rather chuck them instead and let the sick suffer as a result. Which is actually worse?

2)Roger Goodell- This dick just missed the top spot this week for stabbing a friend in the back, one of the worst things you can do to a person. After Bob Kraft reached what he thought was an agreement regarding Tom Brady by accepting a million dollar fine and the loss of 2 draft picks, Goodell upheld his ruling to the shock of many. Nevermind the fact that there is zero evidence that Brady did anything wrong, the court of public opinion is still calling him a cheat, regardless of the fact that there is no proof. NONE! Ohh, he destroyed his phone rather than give it to Goodell. The last thing you do in a witch hunt is give them any ammo to use against them. Brady could have had all sorts of things on his phone that he didn't want getting out and they wanted carde blanche with it. F that! No one in this country would willingly give their phone to their boss, for any reason, short of a court order. And Brady did the same. Until they show me hard proof he did anything wrong, I will defend him. Goodell, on the other hand, can suck it.

1)Dr. Walter Palmer- As of right now, Dr. Palmer is the most wanted man on the face of this Earth. You could go to the furthest, darkest part of the planet and no matter how isolated the people were there, they would still know who Dr. Palmer is. And they would hate him. After killing Cecil the Lion, a Zimbabwe treasure, especially for tourism which one of the poorest nations of Earth desperately needs, the government demanded his extradition to face charges of poaching. And while the US might fight a lot of extradition orders, this is almost certainly not one of them. He has been in hiding for some time and just recently contacted authorities who have been looking for him. Chances are good he will be heading back to Zimbabwe to face trial for this which means perhaps years in one of the worst prison systems on Earth. And he's white which is an unfortunate color to be in the very anti-white country. Think of a black man being sent to a KKK prison and you get the idea. It doesn't help that he has been sited for poaching before, paying a hefty fine, and has been successfully sued for sexual harassment by a former employee. This guy's life is OVER! So congratulations Dr. Palmer, you are really, really screwed and are indeed the douchebag of the week.

ROGER GOODELL, DR. WALTER PALMER AND OTHER GREAT EXAMPLES OF PRIMO DOUCHEBAGGERY!

Holy Crap, did people's IQ's suddenly plummet this week or have we always been this dumb and, thanks to the internet, are we just starting to notice now? There were so many stupid things done this week, I hardly know where to begin. Sunday's column is going to be stuffed.

Let's start with the two dumbest people on the face of the Earth this week: Roger Goodell and Dr. Walter Palmer. Goodell stabbed a close friend in the back and may pay for that dearly down the road while Dr. Palmer just destroyed his career perhaps forever. Both could have avoided any of this by just behaving like a civil human being and not some dickhead with a death wish.

I am sure many of you out there are still crying foul over Tom Brady. The sad part is, almost everything you have heard from the NFL is a lie. This, from the start, has been nothing more than a witch hunt brought about by billionaire crybabies who can't deal with loss. WHAA, the Patriots are really good. Suck it. Get better teams, if you want to win. Spend you're money wiser instead of fast and loose, and yes, Washington Redskins I am looking at you. Snyder has been a disaster as an owner whose penny pinching and a near continuous streak of bad draft picks has hobbled them for over twenty years. They've made the playoffs twice since 1990 and both times lost in the first round.

Anyway, much is being made about Tom Brady being a cheater expect there is one glaring flaw in this argument. There is ZERO proof of wrong doing here. I deal in facts for a living and when someone tells me something with literally no proof, I won't listen to a word they have to say. That's what the NFL has right now which is nothing. Yet Tom Brady is guilty because he wouldn't give up his phone.

First, he had already handed over all relevant information to Goodell, backed up by the fact the NFL already had possession of the two assistants' phones, now suspended. Therefore, the NFL had all communications between the two parties as requested. Anything after that is fishing. I would never hand over my phone to anyone without a good legal reason. Who knows what else was on that phone. What if he had phone numbers of other woman, naked pictures of others that were not his wife or something else you don't want getting out?  The precedent this sets that an employer can ask for all your data on a phone should make even the biggest Tom Brady hater out there give pause. My phone would have been in pieces too.

The funny part is that the NFL and Goodell has destroyed evidence in the past for exactly that reason. Ironically it was the tapes from Spygate when the Pats actually were cheating. Even I can't defend that one. But there was proof, admissions of guilt and a collective sigh from Patriot Nation. This time, all I see is that they can't come up with a time the balls were out of sight except for 90 seconds in a bathroom stall that I still haven't seen anyone able to replicate. They had no set standards for pressurization until two days ago, meaning their tests were meaningless until that point. They have all the emails which show no sign that Tom Brady ordered them to deflate balls. And we still have no idea how all of this got started in the first place as the player the league said brought it to their attention denies any of that. So who noticed the deflated balls then? I would also like to point out that a deflated ball will be thrown less far, and as the Pats didn't do that well until the second half, with properly inflated balls, that was the moment they kicked Indy's ass. The deflated balls hurt more than helped. Who does that? What if Indy deflated the balls to get an advantage that way and then called foul on the Pats when that didn't work? Just asking that because in this case nothing is what it seems.

The loser in all of this is Goodell. He stabbed Bob Kraft in the back and twisted. Kraft lit into him during a press conference yesterday that was blistering. Kraft expected the give a little/get a little principle and that by giving up a million dollars and a first round draft pick the league would go easy on Brady. Instead he got kicked in the nuts and he was pissed. Goodell just made Kraft a bitter enemy. A billionaire enemy. Way to go stupid.

I would also look to point out that if you think this will do anything but make the Patriots the most dangerous team in football this year, think again. These guys are going to be on a mission this year, especially versus teams like Indy which they may cripple if they get the chance. This team is going to be mad and a great team with a reason to win is something the rest of the league may regret.

There's a good chance the suspension will be overturned due to lack of evidence. Suspicion of guilt is not proof of guilt and in a court of law that's all that matters. I expect this suspension to be thrown out and a vindicated, uber-focused Tom Brady will be looking for that undefeated season they almost had a few years back.

And then we have the second most stupid man on the planet, Dr. Walter Palmer, the Minnesota dentist who shot and killed Cecil the Lion, a national icon of Zimbabwe. Douchebag played $55,000 to hunt and kill a lion, a troubling thing in and of itself, but then went so far to kill a protected lion instead. I have no problem with hunting as long as you are not hunting endangered animals which, sorry to say, are most large animals nowadays. I am sorry you will have to sate your blood lust with deer and rabbit but that's too bad. Besides you can eat both and they're delicious.

So now that his face is EVERYWHERE on the planet, with many sitting outside his home and work, Dr. Palmer has understandably gone into hiding. It didn't help that he had been accused of this exact same crime before, killing an animal he shouldn't of, and he also had to settle a sexual harassment case for around $127,000, so you know he's a winner.

The two poachers have been arrested and face a terrible prospect of being held in a Zimbabwe prison which would be only slightly better than staying at a home on Hoarders. Palmer may face extradition charges as well and the USA may not fight all that hard to keep him. What idiot in this day and age wants to kill lions, something we are doing on a daily basis by having way too may kids? Palmer may be in hiding for some time as this isn't blowing over and time soon.

A week from today is the first GOP debate and I cannot wait. Recent polls show Trump and Sanders surging, even among the alternate parties they represent. The only difference is that nation head to head polls for President show Trump losing badly to everyone and Sanders beating ALL of the GOP candidates, just not Hillary yet. Awesome! Stay turned for more idiot updates because this ride is just getting started.

TRUMP, SANDERS AND WHY ANGER IS DRIVING THEIR NUMBERS UPWARD!

I hate to admit it, but the more I hear from Trump, the more I like him. He's the only Republican to condemn the TPP, the only one who has vowed to protect Social Security and Medicare (Bush, Walker and others will eviscerate them if they can), and has said we should be better protecting our borders. Sanders is catching up to Hillary whose lack of candor is sinking her again and is tapping into widespread anger among Democrats who see their party becoming more and more Republican lite. Both candidates have gotten the memo that this country is pissed and the same old, same old is no longer an option.
Both have been written off as non-starters, but the polls say otherwise as the smarter of us out there on both sides of the aisle have said enough is enough. They have been refusing to being tricked into another Bush versus Clinton match-up, which the powers that be want, and doesn't want either Trump or Sanders who will not be controlled by outside interests no matter how much they want it to be otherwise. If either get into office through some miracle of God, for better or worse, we will see actual change.

The big problem with Trump right now is his lack of specifics on what he would do if elected. Securing the border is a good start but what to do with the 11 million undocumented aliens already here? Trump hasn't said. And he says he has an approach to getting rid of ISIS but won't share. I am guessing his idea may have something to do with bombing parts of Iraq into dust, and idea that may not be that bad considering woman and children are being used as weapons, meaning you can't claim civilian causalities when everyone is being used as a soldier. Crying a river over dead idiots won't work with a good PR man in charge and Trump is very capable of that.

Sanders on the other hand has concrete ideas, has explained them in great detail, and is convincing even hard core Republicans and Christians that he is the real deal, suggesting cross aisle appeal. His age and socialistic attitudes will keep some from voting for him, but anyone with an open mind will see he is the best, greatest chance for this country to keep from falling into an abyss.

Trump is doing a great job of keeping the focus on him by saying outrageous things, which our idiot press parrots without any real depth or context. It's getting him more air time than the others and keeping his polls high. Sanders is barely mentioned in the press and he is still rising in the polls. Both are benefiting from the idiocy of the opponents, not always to the best effects.
Mike Huckabee found that this week when he said the Iran deal is akin to marching the Jews back into the ovens. Yet another blowhard who has no real solutions other than to piss on a deal that few think is bad other than those running for election or trying to kowtow to the Obama hating right. The press jumped all over him, and unlike Trump's bomb throwing, this one may hurt more than help. I get it that you are trying to say stupid things in a desperate attempt to get attention, Trump style, but evoking the Holocaust here makes you look petty and retarded, not to mention hyperbolic and fear mongering. It didn't work and, let's be honest, Huckabee has zero chance of winning in a country moving away from religion not toward it.

What Bush and Hillary and the rest of the clowns running don't get is that people are PISSED! They see their standard of living declining year by year with no end in sight, goods and rent skyrocketing in price and that most of those running have no ideas how to fix any of it. The last three stages of a collapsing society is apathy (long over), anger (full blown), and then revolution (coming soon to a street corner near you). The funny part is that is the TPP gets passed, and the public sees what is actually in it, revolution may happen sooner than later and it may happen peacefully and at the voting booth. If the TPP becomes as unpopular as Bruce, I mean, Cat Jenner's new show which debuted to not great ratings, Trump versus Sanders, both of whom strongly oppose the TPP, could become the candidates for the two parties. How great an election would that be?

Our system is broken. Voting for 90% of the idiots, especially Hillary and almost every Republican is country suicide as none of these people will have the guts to fix what needs to be fixed. We also need to get rid of 75% of Congress and put people in who have out best interests, again something 99% of the GOP doesn't. Chances are very good the next President will be a democrat and God help us if Hillary wins as we are going to see more continuation of the policies that have crippled us for decades. The USA needs an enema. Maybe Trump or Sanders are the ones to give it to us.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: RONALD REAGAN, THE NRA AND THE REPUBLICAN PARTY!

We are constantly hearing from the right that Democrats won't place any blame on Obama for any of the problems he inherited from George W. Bush, "It's been almost eight years," they whine, oblivious to the fact that George W. Bush almost ended this country this country for good with his disastrous policies. Now Obama is NOT without blame for not doing enough to fix the problems, further proof it doesn't matter who we put in office as we are all slaves to our corporate masters, including the President. If you want to know why Trump is leading in the polls this why: he doesn't need other people's money to lead. Whether that will be bad or good (the former being the most likely outcome) remains to be seen. But the true demon in all of the bad things that have occurred go back to St. Ronnie and his idiotic policies that are still reverberating today. Two people died in a movie theater in part because of Ronald Reagan this week reversing Jimmy Carter's Mental Health Act. That, plus the ACLU, ended state hospitals that now allow the nutters to run rampant in our country. Add to that background checks that do not work (FU NRA) and we have a recipe for why we have more random shootings than anywhere else on Earth. Let's see those runner ups.
 

10)Black Lives Matter- This week, some of these racist morons interrupted Bernie Sanders and Martin O'Malley during a rally to scream about some made up slight that neither of these candidates have made. O'Malley gets a special shout out for douchebaggery for actually apologizing for saying all lives matter which makes black people's blood boil apparently. All lives matter as a slogan does not diminish black lives or Hispanic lives or any race's lives but points out the fact that everyone is being brutalized by the cops, not just black people. Once we realize we are all in it together, and that racism might not always be the root cause of the issue, only then can we fix the problem. Read my previous article which showed two white people also dying under strange and violent means that had nothing to do with race and everything to do with power mad cops terrorizing the public. If you want this kind of crap to end, and who doesn't besides the police, then realize that everything is not always because of race. Grow up America.

9)Wyatt Cenec- I liked this comedian until this week when he brought up an incident on Marc Maron's podcast about a time he had a snit fit about a voice Jon Stewart was doing that was supposed to be an impersonation of Herman Cain but was, according to Cenec, actually racist. Now as no one seems to actually have the video in question readily available (I just spent the last twenty minutes trying without luck to find it anywhere on the net), I have no idea if the voice Stewart used was indeed racist. However, I am willing to give Stewart the benefit of the doubt here, as I truly doubt Stewart is racist and, if that is true, would have responded the exact same way. There is a fine line between a true racist comment and being overly sensitive and I believe Cenec crossed that line and in doing so damaged his career. Why is it okay for black people to make fun of white people ad naseum but the slightest crack by a white guy and it's racist? It's all or nothing people. Watch Key and Peele to see how to do it correctly.

8)Ashley Madison subscribers- As someone happily engaged, I have no need for such an onerous service. But for 37 million people this week, their lives just got sent into spin cycle when a hacker stole personal info from the site and will probably use it to blackmail some of them. That's a lot of people very, very worried and their credit cards and banking info is the least of it. That had to be an uncomfortable breakfast for a lot of men and woman when they say that on the news. I wonder if the hacker wasn't some enterprising divorce attorney trying to drum up new business. Good luck Ashley Madison customers. You are going to need it.
 

7)Chris Christie- Will someone please tell this human blimp that he has no chance of being President and to just go home and shut the hell up! Stuck in the low single digits on the national scale, this week Tub A Goo said not only would he prosecute people for legal weed in state that have legalized it (so much for state's rights), he would end medical pot as well. This is a death sentence for a political candidate as he has zero chance in states like CA, WA, CO, as well as the dozens of others states where medical marijuana is legal. Polls show up to 80% support medical pot and almost 60% want pot legal. Who is advising this ass? He has as much chance of becoming President as Jimmy Kimmel.

6)Scott Walker- Another idiot running for office, this moron said stupid crap, took on Donald Trump, and got lambasted in the process. First, he said, on day One as President, he would bomb Iran. WTF? Who willingly votes for a guy who says he will start WW3 the first day he can? That is a terrible position and only one who dropped out of college for unknown, possibly bad, reasons would think of. After one of his pollsters called Trump a "dumbdumb" (I know, pot, kettle, black), Trump unleashed on him, reminding us quite accurately that Walker has run his state into the ground, turning a billion dollar surplus into a two billion dollar deficit. They also can't pave their roads, their education system sucks and, unlike Trump, Walker is a Common Core defender. This is why Trump is winning: he's not afraid to destroy his opponents.

5)Donald Trump- I've got to give it Trump, he's not afraid of bomb throwing. And the country loves it. It is refreshing to see a candidate on either side (Bernie Sanders taking an axe to the democrats), telling the truth for once. However, only Bernie has real solutions and Trump has sound bites. I still like him better than most of the GOP who have been stuck in Republicanland way too long. Trump definitely went too far when he gave out Lindsay Graham's personal number this week, a real douchebag move, but his numbers keep rising because the country is sick to death of lying politicans.
 

4)Hillary Clinton- Speaking of lying politicians, Hillary is finding herself in more hot water over the whole e-mail "scandal" that appears to be Benghazi part two. That hasn't gone away either with her expected testimony for yet another fact finding committee that somehow expects to find something the previous 14 didn't. Sigh. But that fact remains that she is right after Trump in negative ratings and, even among democrats, a serious lack of trust. She has done a lot of this to herself with terrible interviews (answer the damned question already), her air of inevitability and a lack of candor to the public. Every time she deflects an answer to things like the TPP or corporate taxes, the public notices and hates her a little more. I still think she will be the next President which is only slightly better than most of the GOP.

3)The Sandra Bland Suicide- Regardless of whether Bland killed herself or not, Officer Brian Encina of Prairie View, Texas should be fired and never work as a cop again. I've watched the video several times now, including with commentary by actual police, who say both sides escalated the situation. And while it is never a good idea to give a cop lip, it shouldn't be a death sentence either. The cop had every chance to de-escalate the situation and instead did the opposite, acting like a power mad douchebag. These are exactly the types of cops not needed anymore and need to go back to being a  wanna be security guard. Both videos show signs of tampering, including eight minutes missing from the cell security footage, which is also all wrong for the design (I used to sell security systems) and against what most police departments already do. This system seems designed to conceal rather than show what it should. The fact the Sheriff there was fired from his last job in 2008 for racist attitudes should not be minimized and got almost zero press at the same time. I still think she was murdered.

2)John Russell Houser- Yet another insane douchebag, yet another senseless movie theater shooting. This certifiable loon, one with no connection to the area he was in, shot and killed two people in a movie theater in LA this week, and wounded 9 others. Nevermind the fact that this guy should never have been allowed to get a gun, why was he walking the streets in the first place? More about that below. Houser is another in a long line of mentally ill douchebags killing people because of too easy access to guns and no mental health help available. And in this case, both liberals and conservatives are to blame. There will be more Houser's out there unless we wake up and start addressing the problem.
 

1)Ronald Reagan, the NRA and the Republican party- How many more people have to die before we start doing accurate background checks on people? Turns out Houser bought his guns legally in Alabama for some unknown reason because his record should have prevented that. This is because the NRA have stymied any attempt to keep mentally ill people from guns, actually fighting against even the smallest provision that would have kept innocent people from dying. Kelly Ayotte of NH voted against such a provision and then lied about it afterward, only to have special interest groups run ads demonstrating what a liar she was. The NRA is not a good organization as they are more interested in electing Republicans and selling as many guns as possible to whoever, than public safety or the country's welfare. And remember this is coming from someone who does not agree with weapon or ammo bans or any sort, short of nuclear weapons. Besides guns however, Ronald Reagan greatly contributed to this issue when he repealed Jimmy Carter's Mental Health Act and instead did what every single Republican has ever done to a serious issue: fucked it up good. He gave states black grants, which are never enough to cover expenses or inflation, which hurt the already de-institutionalizing of mental wards nationwide due to efforts by the ACLU and inhuman conditions being seen in them. Instead of figuring out a way to fix them, we got rid of them and threw the mentally ill to the wolves. Now those wolves have become feral, rabid and everywhere. And they have guns because we have no stop gaps to prevent some loon from getting them with ease. There will be more like this until we accept that the mentally ill need to be locked up, sometimes forever, as Houser should have been. So congratulations Republicans and Ronald Reagan, you are indeed douchebag of the week.