Thursday, July 30, 2015


Holy Crap, did people's IQ's suddenly plummet this week or have we always been this dumb and, thanks to the internet, are we just starting to notice now? There were so many stupid things done this week, I hardly know where to begin. Sunday's column is going to be stuffed.

Let's start with the two dumbest people on the face of the Earth this week: Roger Goodell and Dr. Walter Palmer. Goodell stabbed a close friend in the back and may pay for that dearly down the road while Dr. Palmer just destroyed his career perhaps forever. Both could have avoided any of this by just behaving like a civil human being and not some dickhead with a death wish.

I am sure many of you out there are still crying foul over Tom Brady. The sad part is, almost everything you have heard from the NFL is a lie. This, from the start, has been nothing more than a witch hunt brought about by billionaire crybabies who can't deal with loss. WHAA, the Patriots are really good. Suck it. Get better teams, if you want to win. Spend you're money wiser instead of fast and loose, and yes, Washington Redskins I am looking at you. Snyder has been a disaster as an owner whose penny pinching and a near continuous streak of bad draft picks has hobbled them for over twenty years. They've made the playoffs twice since 1990 and both times lost in the first round.

Anyway, much is being made about Tom Brady being a cheater expect there is one glaring flaw in this argument. There is ZERO proof of wrong doing here. I deal in facts for a living and when someone tells me something with literally no proof, I won't listen to a word they have to say. That's what the NFL has right now which is nothing. Yet Tom Brady is guilty because he wouldn't give up his phone.

First, he had already handed over all relevant information to Goodell, backed up by the fact the NFL already had possession of the two assistants' phones, now suspended. Therefore, the NFL had all communications between the two parties as requested. Anything after that is fishing. I would never hand over my phone to anyone without a good legal reason. Who knows what else was on that phone. What if he had phone numbers of other woman, naked pictures of others that were not his wife or something else you don't want getting out?  The precedent this sets that an employer can ask for all your data on a phone should make even the biggest Tom Brady hater out there give pause. My phone would have been in pieces too.

The funny part is that the NFL and Goodell has destroyed evidence in the past for exactly that reason. Ironically it was the tapes from Spygate when the Pats actually were cheating. Even I can't defend that one. But there was proof, admissions of guilt and a collective sigh from Patriot Nation. This time, all I see is that they can't come up with a time the balls were out of sight except for 90 seconds in a bathroom stall that I still haven't seen anyone able to replicate. They had no set standards for pressurization until two days ago, meaning their tests were meaningless until that point. They have all the emails which show no sign that Tom Brady ordered them to deflate balls. And we still have no idea how all of this got started in the first place as the player the league said brought it to their attention denies any of that. So who noticed the deflated balls then? I would also like to point out that a deflated ball will be thrown less far, and as the Pats didn't do that well until the second half, with properly inflated balls, that was the moment they kicked Indy's ass. The deflated balls hurt more than helped. Who does that? What if Indy deflated the balls to get an advantage that way and then called foul on the Pats when that didn't work? Just asking that because in this case nothing is what it seems.

The loser in all of this is Goodell. He stabbed Bob Kraft in the back and twisted. Kraft lit into him during a press conference yesterday that was blistering. Kraft expected the give a little/get a little principle and that by giving up a million dollars and a first round draft pick the league would go easy on Brady. Instead he got kicked in the nuts and he was pissed. Goodell just made Kraft a bitter enemy. A billionaire enemy. Way to go stupid.

I would also look to point out that if you think this will do anything but make the Patriots the most dangerous team in football this year, think again. These guys are going to be on a mission this year, especially versus teams like Indy which they may cripple if they get the chance. This team is going to be mad and a great team with a reason to win is something the rest of the league may regret.

There's a good chance the suspension will be overturned due to lack of evidence. Suspicion of guilt is not proof of guilt and in a court of law that's all that matters. I expect this suspension to be thrown out and a vindicated, uber-focused Tom Brady will be looking for that undefeated season they almost had a few years back.

And then we have the second most stupid man on the planet, Dr. Walter Palmer, the Minnesota dentist who shot and killed Cecil the Lion, a national icon of Zimbabwe. Douchebag played $55,000 to hunt and kill a lion, a troubling thing in and of itself, but then went so far to kill a protected lion instead. I have no problem with hunting as long as you are not hunting endangered animals which, sorry to say, are most large animals nowadays. I am sorry you will have to sate your blood lust with deer and rabbit but that's too bad. Besides you can eat both and they're delicious.

So now that his face is EVERYWHERE on the planet, with many sitting outside his home and work, Dr. Palmer has understandably gone into hiding. It didn't help that he had been accused of this exact same crime before, killing an animal he shouldn't of, and he also had to settle a sexual harassment case for around $127,000, so you know he's a winner.

The two poachers have been arrested and face a terrible prospect of being held in a Zimbabwe prison which would be only slightly better than staying at a home on Hoarders. Palmer may face extradition charges as well and the USA may not fight all that hard to keep him. What idiot in this day and age wants to kill lions, something we are doing on a daily basis by having way too may kids? Palmer may be in hiding for some time as this isn't blowing over and time soon.

A week from today is the first GOP debate and I cannot wait. Recent polls show Trump and Sanders surging, even among the alternate parties they represent. The only difference is that nation head to head polls for President show Trump losing badly to everyone and Sanders beating ALL of the GOP candidates, just not Hillary yet. Awesome! Stay turned for more idiot updates because this ride is just getting started.

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