Sunday, January 4, 2015

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: FBI

These guys have proven that they are even more worthless than the NYPD who have unintentionally shown how needless they are by causing a work stoppage that led to a DECREASE in crime. The FBI on the other hand have had a track record so bad that I am hard pressed to remember the last big case they didn't screw up. Let's see those runner ups.
10)Sarah Palin-It was yet another stellar week for the GOP, led by their shrill den mother who this week tweeted a picture of her disabled son standing on the family Labrador, as if that is okay. Many have come to her defense saying that if the dog was hurt, he would've moved. These are the same people who vote for Republicans and then bitch why nothing has changed (not that most of the democrats are not much better). I have spent decades working with animals, specifically dogs, and can say with 100% certainty that some dogs could be set on fire and they won't move if told not to. My late dog JJ could have been stabbed in both eyes with a pencil and he would still not complain. Also, if the dog decided he really didn't like it, he could've bitten the kid rather savagely. All in all, this is terrible parenting, awful dog skills and a holy terror that this moron extraordinaire was once a heartbeat away from being President.

9)Unknown Chinese New Year Douchebag- Showing that douchebaggery is not limited to just the USA, some shmuck with little to no reasoning skills thought it would be HILARIOUS to throw fake money into a huge crowd of people. Apparently they were coupons that looked just like $100 bills and, shocker, people trampled each other to get them, killing 36 and wounded 47. It would've been all the more fitting if that ass was quoted later as saying "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." No word on whether he was caught by Mr. Carlson or the authorities.
8)Prince Andrew- I have written a couple times about a world wide pedophile ring that has been rumored to exist since at least the early eighties. I do not like to write about it because everyone who seems to look too far into this winds up dead, like investigative journalist Gary Webb. But now comes word that a tape exists of Prince Andrew having sex with an underage girl has emerged, and a story that has been all but eliminated from the MSM but is blowing up overseas. The story is confusing and involves at least 4 women, all of which are suing the US for letting a billionaire, Jeffrey Epstein, now a convicted sex offender, off with just a piddly 13 month sentence. The women claim they were never consulted with the plea deal and have said that others were involved including Prince Albert, US lawyer Alan Dershowitz and allegedly, other foreign leaders, celebrities and people of power. Whether there is any truth to this has yet to be seen, but these claims have shown some evidence of existence in the past and Britain is still reeling from the whole Jimmy Saville molestation debacle, or their version of Bill Cosby, this time with kids. This story will probably disappear from the headlines shortly as these stories always do. Truth has a way of getting lost lately.

7)Michael Grimm/Staten Island Voters- After a short vow to keep his job after being found guilty of 20 counts of tax evasion, corruption and other typical politician crimes, Grimm was forced to step down leading to a new special election in which the brain dead morons who occupy this borough can elect some other ass wipe that will do nothing for them either. I realize the guy running against Grimm was terrible but he wasn't going to go to jail forcing another election and more money being spent from tax dollars to do all of this. This is the same group that watched a video of a Staten Island cop assassinating one of their citizens and because he was black and "resisting arrest," that made it all okay. Maybe Hurricane Sandy wrecking your neighborhood was more of a sign than a random happenstance.
143803 600 Throw Em Off A Balcony cartoons
6)John Boehner- On top of his leadership being attacked (more on that in the next post), comes word that the FEC has been investigating the Speaker for accepting dozens of illegal contributions from gas, coal and gambling industries. He once admitted on the floor of Congress that this kind of behavior has been going on for years and that "everyone does it." Doesn't make it right Congressman. This guy is a snake and hopefully this will go somewhere, even though it has been going on for over a year now so I expect this to be swept under the rug along with Prince Albert's sex allegations and Janet Yellin's refusal to audit the Fed.

5)Louis Golmert- Hands down, this is one of the most insane people in Congress. The fact he is from Texas really makes it funny as that seems to be where all the really insane people come from like Rick Perry and Ted Cruz. Seems the Tea Party darling has had it with Boehner and is actively seeking the leadership when they convene Tuesday. If he gets the post, I'll eat my desk. Boehner didn't get to where he is by playing nice and I expect him to win again, just like Pelosi and Reid won their position again even though they both kind of suck. Can we please stop electing the worst humans possible over and over again already?

4)Steve Scalise- Yet another Republican in trouble this week for the discovery that he once gave a speech to a bunch of neo-Nazis while campaigning a few years back. Uncle Tom's like Mia Love and democrat Cedric Richmond have defended him, even though his explanation as to why he went to this venue is vague at best. Democrats, as usual, have failed to jump on this in any meaningful way,  and are still obsessing with abortion and gay rights, which is fine, but there are also things people are finding much more important right now like raising wages and creating jobs.
3)Janet Yellin-One of the few things the Republicans seem to be doing right is getting ready to pass the audit the Fed bill through the House. How it will do in the Senate is anyone's guess but this is a real case where compromise would be a good idea. Yellin is said to be furiously trying to kill this behind the scenes. making me wonder, is there any gold actually left or have we stolen it all by our greedy overlords?

2)NYPD- Due to their rabid insanity against Mayor DeBlasio, the boys in blue have instigated a work stoppage arresting far fewer people and issuing far few summons and tickets. The result? Crime has gone down, people are not being harassed by a dickish police force and truth be told, we could probably fire half of these idiots and still do just fine. This proves my point that most of the police force is unnecessary, costly and might actually be making things worse. Getting rib of the rabid Pat Lynch would be a good start.
FBI
1)FBI- I have been critical of these douche nozzles for some time now. They seem to screw up everything they touch. They have implemented in the first attack on the World Trade Center where evidence surfaced that it may have been a sting operation gone wrong by a truly inept agent, a staple to work there apparently. They were stung by yet another study into their anthrax case to which the latest confirmed what the other have all said: the evidence the FBI provided sucked at best and there is no solid proof that Bruce Irvins was behind the attack no matter how many times they repeat it. They killed a suspect connected with the Boston Bombers this year in what is still a highly suspicious incident. Now comes word that maybe the FBI was wrong and North Korea may not have been involved with the hack at all. So let me get this straight. First you deny any connection. Then change your mind and say they did it. Now you are not sure again. Are you the FBI or a twelve year old girl? How can you guys possibly be this bad at your job? I still think North Korea was responsible just because of how it all went down and for all those who still say it was an inside job, let me ask you this: how can you be sure the North Koreans didn't plant an inside man into this company? It wouldn't be that hard to do. So congratulations FBI you are indeed douchebag of the week.


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