You have got to give to the corpulent NJ Governor for the sheer balls to commission your own investigation into the Bridgegate scandal, do as little as possible in said investigation and then declare yourself innocent of all charges while publically ridiculing any reporter who dares to say different. THE BALLS! Let's see those runner ups in a crowded doucheathon this week.
1)Nick Cannon- This week Nick Cannon decided it would be funny to dress up in white face and make some truly racist comments for his questionably titled album "White People Music." I am sure the black crowd thought it was hysterical but this was outright racist as the hash tags under the picture read such bon mots as "beer pong," "Farmer's Market," and my favorite "Cream Cheese eating." Let's replace that with a white guy in black face with hash tags that say "blunt smoking," "drive by shooting," and "Fried chicken." That guy would have to move and change his name and appearance. Cannon gets a pass. Why? Julianne Hough got in huge trouble for wearing blackface on Halloween but this is acceptable? It's not. Stop thinking that only white people can be racist. It's really starting to show and let me tell you, white people on the lower scales of this country are starting to notice. If you want to see what racism REALLY looks like, keep it up. You will see it soon enough otherwise and that is not something you or I want to see.
2)Suey Park-On the flip side of the whole racism concept is this woman who has decided to launch an effort to cancel Stephen Colbert for a joke about Asian people. Nevermind the fact that this quote, "The Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever," is taken completely out of context, much like seeing a still of Robert Downey Jr. in blackface in Tropic Thunder would be. Now Park is a very pretty 23 year old Korean author who writes well. However, I think this whole thing is less about Colbert and instead is her trying to catapult herself to instant celebrity which has worked well if that was the case. If she is serious, she needs to get a life and stop with the "whoa is me" syndrome that every young person seems to be infected with lately. This was a joke ABOUT racism, not a racist joke and there is a difference. Nick Cannon doesn't get it any better than this woman does apparently.
3)TSA- It came out today that security at LAX has been stealing anything not nailed down for the past few years, netting millions in lost items. This is hot on the heels of another expose from a former TSA agent who said his supervisors were borderline retarded, everyone was pissed at how they got treated from said superiors and that security was more or less a joke that would never actually stop anyone. For this privilege we spent billions on nothing while getting raped to get to Des Moines.
4)The Albuquerque NM police department- These trigger happy morons are being investigated by multiple agencies after a slew of questionable shootings this past week involving the possible assassination of a homeless man which was caught on tape and shows a drastically different scenario than what they reported. Less than three hours after this incident, they shot and killed someone else in equally questionable manner. This department is still under review for civil rights issues filed last year by the DOJ and FBI. I am glad I don't live there.
5)Gina Reinhart- Everyone's favorite deranged baby elephant resurfaced this week as it was revealed that for some inane reason US taxpayers are subsidizing this fat bitch to the tune of $694 million. Are you fucking kidding me? She's going to spend all of it on pudding and human skin carpets. Funny how this story never made the news like the DOJ taking orders from the banks or the BP oil spill on Lake Michigan. Due to cronyism, Roy Hill and Caterpillar stand to make billions on this deal as well, to the detriment of everyone else. Senators like Al Franken have come out against the deal and thank God someone is paying attention. Thanks to a worthless Export-import bank run by the FED, deals like this are happening all the time. You wonder where our money went? It went to people like Gina Reinhart who isn't even an American. But we can't afford food stamps and Medicare. Awesome.
7)Pat Cannon- Not a good week for anyone named Cannon apparently. The mayor of Charlotte, NC was arrested this week less than six months into office for a stunning amount of charges of bribery and extortion. He is accused of taking tens of thousands of dollars in cash, luxury goods and lavish vacations. He has since resigned and is facing 50 years in jail. Good luck because you are going to need it as they have him on tape ABSCAM style taking money. He is so screwed.
8)Sheldon Adelson- Proving that rich people have way too much power, the Republican billionaire began holding auditions for the 2016 Presidential election. Read that sentence again and tell me you think that you think this is a good idea to have American Idol call backs for the most powerful office in the world. This is the guy that kept Newt Gingrich in the last race for far longer than he should have been and then threw even more money for Mitt Romney to lose. I am still hearing that the reason the GOP lost the last few election have been because they felt Bob Dole, John McCain and Mitt Romney were TOO LIBERAL. Yeah, that's why they got creamed in the electoral college. If they move further to the right, the Democrats could run a dead squirrel in 2016 and still win.
9)Chuck Shumer- I don't like Chuck Shumer. He is a typical Democratic liberal whose expiration is way past it's sell off point. Instead of fighting for the little guy like Al Franken and Liz Warren, he seems more obsessed with gun control, raising taxes and now, ending shield laws for most journalists. His latest bit of garbage is to grant licenses to "legitimate" writers, as if anyone gets a say in who is a real writer and who isn't. Without First Amendment protections, sites like this will disappear and real news will be no better than North Korea at that point. Shumer needs to go in the next election so let's hope some better democrat will challenge him in the next election because the GOP candidate will almost certainly be terrible.
10)CA State Senator Leland Yee- Not a good week for democrats either as this hypocritical douchebag came one step from being the grand poobah on my list. For years, this guy has been a gun control proponent, siding with people like Diane Feinstein in banning guns from California streets, in direct violation of the 2nd amendment. Turns out, when not in office, he was getting hundreds of thousands in kickbacks from an illegal GUN RUNNING OPERATION. WTF? Dickless here was allegedly selling rocket launchers to Muslim separatist groups in the Philippines as well as taking millions in bribes over the last decade. If anyone ever deserved the death penalty more, I can't come up with one. I would exchange a child rapist for a life sentence just to get him in the chair that much faster. This guy was a real cock this week.
11)Chris Christie- But then came Christie. This guy had the gual to declare himself totally innocent of all charges even though his investigation failed to talk to any of the key players, have access to important information that only the authorities have right now and are not sharing or do anything that would actually exonerate him beyond his own words. Way to spend NJ taxpayer money on a whitewash that Stevie Wonder could see coming. Then to go and berate any reporter who dared to ask different, all the while still trying to set yourself up for the 2016 election, which he has zero chance at right now as even his own party has soured on him, takes some big brass cohunes. The most recent polls have him near the bottom. And as this scandal is far from over, still could slide even further. On the same day that all this happened, new pictures surfaced of Christie walking around NJ with every single person he has fired over this as the scandal was happening in real time on the GWB. Classic. So congratulation Christie you are indeed douchebag of the week.