Sunday, August 10, 2014

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: ELLIOTT MANAGEMENT AND PAUL SINGER

I am back after a week of statistical analysis work on Ebola (still not much to worry about regardless of what the media and Internet keep saying) and a quick trip to Philly to find not much has changed. Market Basket continues to ruin their business, Hamas continues to break cease fires with alarming regularity, and people like Paul Singer prove that corporations have so much power nowadays that they can take out whole countries on a whim. Let's see those runner ups.

1)LA Porn Laws- A while back, LA for some unknown reason, decided to pass some truly idiotic laws like demanding condom use and even head gear for face shots. Nevermind the fact that the industry has done a good job not having an AIDS epidemic through strict self regulation (as it is in their best interest to do just that), some busybody passed these new laws that the porn industry recognized as job killers. Porn is already having a hard time (no pun intended) as the Internet is a hodge podge of free sex videos and pictures for any fetish. This was a job killer and, as a result, 90% of the porn industry has either gone underground, thus not paying for permits, or moved elsewhere, including overseas. Great, now we've outsourced our porn. This is having a definitive effect on the local economy as, regardless of what you feel about porn, this was a multi-billion dollar industry that kept many, many other businesses afloat. Even porn stars have to eat. This is why no one thinks about the consequences of the actions anymore, a direct result of decades of lousy schooling where critical thinking is no longer a criteria.

2)People who saw TMNT this week- Why, God, why is this film number one this week? Along with Michael Bay's equally awful Transformers shlockfest, this film did far better with most of a specific age group which was not surprisingly, the 18 and under or 25-35 men. The big difference was the 18 and under crowd loved it while the 25-35 group thought it sucked moose puckies. It's nice to see some of the younger generation realize crap, but still makes me sad that the awful previews didn't discourage them first. If you were eight, this film could be awesome. The rest of you out there who paid to see this, crape diem. And that is not a misspelling as this movie was indeed crap.

3)Malaysian Air- Again in the "no duh" category, Malaysian air stock has plummeted after two incidents in six weeks, neither of which was entirely their fault. This brings to mind the DC-10 crashes that killed that type of plane when three crashes happened in a short amount of time that destroyed faith in the aircraft. Nevermind the fact that none of the DC-10 problems had anything to do beyond bad luck, the damage was done. And the same is happening again with Malaysian Air. They do seem cursed.

4)Market Basket- The CEO and the board continue to ruin their brand after they laid off all part time workers this week and refuse to do anything that would save their struggling company. The fact that three months ago, this was a four billion dollar a year business, the greedy Arthur S. DeMoulas has single handedly destroyed his nest egg, perhaps permanently. Considering this very rich douchebag wants more money by lowering salaries, raising prices and eliminating bonuses, the employees have wisely said HELL NO to that. To anyone still shopping there, I sincerely hope you get ass cancer. On your face.

5)Hamas and Noam Chomsky- Ultra-liberal douchebag Noam Chomsky this week spread more disinformation about Hamas this week, which seems to be his thing. This often repeated lie, which I heard from my own family this past week, is that Hamas has been open to recognizing Israel for decades if only the Muslim hating Jews would accept it. Where in the hell is the evidence for this because I know it does NOT exist? Just this past week, Charlie Rose interviewed a Hamas spokesperson who said, point blank, that Hamas will NEVER recognize Israel. How is that stance an invitation to peace? They basically said, "We will let you live in peace somewhere else, maybe, if we feel like it." That is not a peace plan but a recipe for genocide. I keep hearing from very questionable sources that 400 children died so far, mostly from Gaza. Even if that is true, the total number of dead children is very low for a war conflict. For example, in the last Iraqi war, the US killed an estimated 400,000 children in bombing and mortar attacks. Why was that not a war crime, but a single dead kid in Gaza is a charge of genocide? And than there is Hamas actually demanding Israel return to peace talks and be forced to accept their demands of open borders, a sea port and the release of 18,000 prisoners. They might as well ask for a billion dollars and a pony while they are at it. Hamas is isolated like never before and have few cards left to play. This latest snit is not going to help them.

6)Tea Party- Much like OWS, this attempt at a new political force is rapidly running out of steam. The last six primaries just occurred and the Tea Party lost all six by high double digit numbers. The only place where the Tea Party has any clout left is Texas and that remains to be seen for how long. Ted Cruz isn't the most popular anymore outside of his state. I hope he runs for president because that may be his swan song as America gets a full helping of his nonsense. As I accurately predicted, the last government shut down made Big Business decide that the Tea Party time was over and crushed them in the primaries this year. Also, the GOP watched Tea Party morons single handedly destroy their political careers, and any chance to win back the Senate, four years running now and wisely tried to find less insane people to wow the crowds. Some, like Jodi Ernst and Lamar Whitney, are still giving them headaches, but they are fewer and far between. It doesn't mean the GOP is getting any better at fixing anything but they are nominating people that can run with scissors without stabbing themselves.

7)W.W. Bridal Boutique in Bloomsberg, PA- These ass clowns who own this store got into all sorts of hot water when they denied a same sex couple the chance to buy wedding gowns from their store. While there are currently no laws in PA to protect against this type of discrimination, the public pounced driving their Yelp rating to slum lord territory while having dozens of others cancel their orders. Not liking gay people does not give you the right to not sell to them any more than a racist who won't sell to black people. If the law doesn't say so, the world will make you pay in other ways. Enjoy bankruptcy morons.

8)Kevin Ward- In what can only be described as the dumbest thing I have ever seen, during a stock car race, Ward crashed into the wall. He then got out of the car and stood in the middle of the track, pissed at fellow racer Tony Stewart who caused the crash. Then, either by accident or purpose, Stewart hit Ward and threw him fifty feet in the air. What kind of moron walks out onto a track filled with speeding cars? A dead one apparently.

9)Paul Singer and Elliott Management- As I write this, Obama and the GOP are both trying to get the TPP signed, which they are having a very difficult time with overseas. The end result of this pact would be to make corporations sovereign entities with more power than any nation currently has. They would become the new de-facto rulers of the planet with no oversight. Yeah, that sounds fun. Elliott Management is showing how dangerous that could be. Reclusive billionaire Paul Singer runs this hedge fund and was the sole reason for the collapse of the Argentinian economic crisis when he refused 30 cents on the dollars, which everyone else accepted, except for this greedy douchebag who balked at making that. The end result was a new default, completely caused by a corporation and a billionaire. This is the same group that held hostage a Ghana warship, which looked a lot like something from the 1800's, until they paid back their debt. In an upcoming article, I have uncovered hard scientific proof that the rich of the world are hiding vast sums of money from tax rolls, with places like Austria hiding a whopping 13% of their income from tax collectors. If you are a billionaire, that's a huge sum of money. Worse, the authors note that these figures are bare minimum, with the likely outcome much, much higher. And with people like Singer, whose total net worth is much higher than reported, they now have the power to wreck nations at will. So congratulations Paul Singer, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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