Sunday, September 28, 2014


I have seen a lot of political ads this year, thanks to some traveling, where I live and the Internet. And I have to say, across the board, they are the dumbest ads I have ever seen. Also considering that debates are becoming a thing of the past, due to denial to show up from both side of the aisle, this is the only way for us to understand our elected leaders. It also makes me think that as a whole, they are either retarded or think we are. The worst part is, both are probably right. Let's see those runner ups.
1)Senator Pat Roberts- Speaking of retarded, this ass from Kansas is right up there. Ever since the democrat decided to pull out of the race, this has been an unexpectedly competitive race with Independent candidate, Greg Orman, who now leads Roberts in some polls by double digits. So, in an effort to convince the crazies out there that voting for Orman will end the world, while campaigning with Bob Dole, Roberts brought out the evil specter of socialism, which has become the boogeyman for the insane right. 99% of the people I meet do not have any idea what socialism is, comparing it wrongly to communism or fascism, neither of which are anywhere near correct. Here is what douchebag had to say:

There’s a palpable fear among Kansans all across the state that the America that we love and cherish will not be the same America for our kids and grandkids, and that’s wrong

One of the reasons that I’m running is to change that. There’s an easy way to do it. I’ll let you figure it out. But at any rate, we have to change course because our country is headed for national socialism. That’s not right. It’s changing our culture. It’s changing what we’re all about.

First off, this country already IS socialistic, as that's how we have things like insurance, health care and programs like Social Security and Medicare, and has been this way since the 1930's. Roberts platform, on the other hand, is full on fascism/oligarchical, which is far, far worse. So tell everyone in Kansas that Pat Roberts is against Social Security and watch his numbers fall ever further. Hell, dress him in Nazi regalia and explain to people why that is accurate. This ass needs to go away. The people of Kansas have that power to make it happen.

2)Ferguson, MO- Will someone please tell the freaking DA of this godforsaken outhouse of a city that the incredible delay in filling charges or dismissal of the officer being investigated is bordering on incompetence at this point? How hard is it to review all the evidence as it has been two goddamned months? Is your grand jury filled with the elderly who have to take pee breaks every five minutes and recess to watch Matlock? Every day there no resolution, this jerk is putting lives on the line. In just the past week we have seen another riot break out, complete with looting and vandalism, after a memorial for Mike Brown burned down, most likely by the candles that had been left lit and unsupervised. Of course black people immediately went to, "white people did it," and proceeded to show the disdain for the fairer skinned race by burning their neighborhood and looting the stores they depend on to survive. Yeah, that'll show us. And then there was the police chief who attempted to join a march in solidarity, but that lasted all of a few minutes before fights starting breaking out and the chief was whisked away. Lastly, two cops were shot yesterday, which media says is unrelated to the Ferguson protests, but in reality, is. People in this area as more likely to shoot cops first and ask questions later, a motto they learned from police forces nationwide. Considering how badly the police force is trained lately, as seen by a cop in SC who shot an unarmed black man for no reason, this may become more and more commonplace. I would like to point out that that cop was arrested IMMEDIATELY, because we have video of the whole thing, and the chief realized that this would not end well if he didn't. Video saves lives. EVERY cop should have on now. Until we do, there will be more Mike Brown's, where we have no idea what really happened and that uncertainty will make the boys and blue even more of a target. As for the DA there, do your damned job and finish this already.
3)Jesse Leroy Matthews- It is because of douchebags like this, that black people are considered criminals and reprobates. Like Mike Brown, everyone described this very large man as a "gentle giant." Unlike Mike Brown, this guy did not seem like a prime candidate for a rape/murder. He was a youth minister, coached sports for a local school and seemed to be by all accounts, a good man. But all that changed after the disappearance of a 18 year college student, Hannah Graham, for he which he has been charged with her disappearance. Video shows him with her shortly before her absence, some of which the blame has to go Hannah herself. How many times do we have to tell young ladies to NEVER walk by themselves late at night anywhere? This happens more often than not, and the end result is always the same. This guy looked guilty from the get go when he sped away from the police department when they questioned him about Hannah being missing. He then fled to Galveston, TX where he was apprehended, found sleeping on a tent on the beach. Hannah has not been found, but that may change when the death penalty gets waived in front of his face in return for a confession and location of her body. What a dick.

4)The Parents TV Council- Otherwise known as the Fascist Police, these morons troll the airwaves looking for things to get their panties in a bunch about. The latest is tonight's Family Guy episode, featuring a huge crossover with the Simpsons. In it, Bart and Stewie crank call Moe, a regular staple on the show in days gone by. After Bart does his usual innocuous name, like Dick Hertz or something equally juvenile, Stewie gets on and says, "your sister's been raped," to which Bart looks understandably horrified. But leave it to Tim Winter, the PTC CEO, to flip out about nothing. Not helping, anti rape groups founded by actual women said that they had no problem with the joke because of how, in context, it's not making fun of rape, but the fact that it IS SO NOT FUNNY! Winter has no sense of humor, which hardly surprises me from the extremist right. If you don't like it, stop watching. Nobody has a gun to your head. Hallmark channel is calling Tim, so stay somewhere safe.
5)Eric Holder- Now that we have gotten rid of Janet Napolitano and Eric Holder, can we please nominate someone how isn't a total douche-nozzle? Aside from the ridiculous reasons the far right has for not liking Holder, truth be told, he sucked hard at his job. He went after journalists in an attack against the 1st amendment, lost guns suspiciously in the Fast and Furious probe and refused to jail anyone for the economic disaster they caused. Nevermind the fact that arresting people worked gangbusters in Iceland and wrecked economies everywhere else, he came up with the ill advised phrase, "too big to jail." Way to go, dude. So go to the private sector where I am sure you will be paid some ridiculous bribe, I mean salary, and fade into history like all of your predecessors.

6)The Jefferson County School Board- Showing how out of touch the far right is, these special set of Colorado losers decided to rewrite the history books to emphasize things like Patriotism, Obedience to Authority and other right wing ideals. The students understandably said HELL NO and left to protest, which is now in its fifth day. Parents and local colleges have joined in solidarity which many see as yet another way for the right to re-write history to their specification, otherwise known as lies. Congrats to the brave students for showing some much needed backbone and doing their best to stop this charade.
7)Latte-gate- This week the President whipped out his dick and pissed onto the Constitution all the while singing a popular Russian/Commie song only secret Muslims know. At least that is what it felt like. In what can only be described as the saddest mock scandal yet, the far right jumped on the President for daring to salute a marine as he left his helicopter with his coffee still in his hand. Nevermind the fact that he doesn't even have to salute in the first place, as this was started by Ronald Regan, of course, why was this such a big deal? Fox and even CNN had this all over the air for far longer than it should of because of a slow news week and these guys need to talk about something, even if it's inane and pointless. To quote Frozen, "Let it go."

8)Black-ish- This was one of the most racist, unfunny pieces of garbage I have seen in years. It made me miss the terrible special effects of The Ringer or even the stupefyingly dumb Pauly Shore show, as they were still better than this nonsense. I made it fifteen minutes in when they started going off on a stunningly anti-Jewish bit, when I finally recanted and quit. When it wasn't making white people look bad, which it did with alarming regularity, it made Anthony Anderson, a talented actor, play yet another case of "buffoon dad," that has been so old for at least a decade now that it needs to go the way of " the butler did it," and "I have an evil twin." Even worse, critics loved this show, giving it a shocking 86% on Rotten Tomatoes. Apparently TV reviewers now are even worse than film ones because this show was bottom of the barrel terrible. Not funny, very racist and overly feministic. You can practically smell the liberalism at work here. If you are watching this crap, please stop. You are killing us all with this drek.
9)Alton Nolan and the Islamic Society- This week, Alton Nolan, a black convert to Islam, after being fired from an OK processing plant, beheaded one woman and brutally stabbed another. The FBI is classifying this under the term "workplace violence," rather than terrorism, which is what it was. Most troubling is the fact that this ass had been arrested ten times over the last decade, for charges including assault, drug possession with intent to distribute, burglary, larceny and resisting arrest. In 2011, he converted to Islam in prison and apparently went a little too nuts with it. The church he attends, the Islamic Society of Greater OKC, has been tied to radicals before as has its sister mosque in Boston, where the Boston Bombers attended. Security was beefed up at both in case of retaliation which is unlikely at this point. However, Muslims are one assassinated pope away from Armageddon if they go down this path. I am hoping they don't but as there may be as many as 300 million extremists out there, according to official numbers, their time on this Earth may be running out due to one lone moron.
10)Political ads- There have been some of the dumbest ads I have ever seen in this election. Arkansas has dueling stupid ads, where Mark Pyror accuses opponent Tom Cotton of being a ninny head to which Cotton calls Pyror a doody mouth. That's the level of recourse I have seen so far. That extends to Alaska, where a debate over whether or not Mark Begich rode a snowmobile in his ad or not is getting loads of airplay. Who cares? In Kentucky, Grimes and McConnell are sparring over how to hold a gun properly. ARRRGHHHH! If the democrats want to lose they are doing a bang up job. Luckily, the Republicans are not doing much better with their idiotic ads. According to most polls, regular viewers are turning off in droves, apparently smarter than the elected leaders they are supposed to vote for, but probably won't. This race is going to be close and it will come down to will the loonies on the right outweigh the apathy of the left? Polls show a tightening race, where the GOP is no longer a sure thing to win the Senate. And even if they do, then they may have to actually govern instead of just throwing up roadblocks to get the way. Much like the dog chasing car, they have no game plan should they actually catch it. So congratulations Democrats and Republicans and your moronic ads, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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