Sunday, May 31, 2015


I am back, baby with a new column. Yeah! The Duggars represent everything wrong with a sizable portion of the American people. Rich, Christian without understanding one word of what that actually means, and very, very stupid. Even before the whole child molestation thing, which isn't quite as bad as say Bill Cosby on the grand scale of things, these idiots of epic proportion have already said and done things so awful anyone who looks up to these assholes are as scummy as they are. Let's see those runner ups, some of which are real doozies (Dennis Hastert I am looking at you.).

10)Hawaiians and the word Aloha- In yet another case of some minority group screaming RACISM at the top of their lungs, when none is actually there, is getting awfully tired. This time native Hawaiians are having a fit about the latest movie Aloha which dares to use that as a title about Hawaii. Nevermind the fact that even the worst movie about the state generates millions in tourism which the state thrives on, using this word makes baby Pele cry or some crap like that. Can we have one week where some group doesn't fall on their sword over such a minor deal just once please? You don't see Irish people having a fit over the word paddywagon even though that is an ethnic slur. Grow the fuck up America. Words are just that and they can't hurt you unless you let it. And Aloha tanked anyway so please, please, please just shut up already and go see San Andreas or Mad Max, two awesome summer films, instead.

9)Judge Stacy Zimmerman- This judge should be removed from her bench after she misused her powers to actually destroy Josh Duggar's police record which begs the question, "If she doesn't know what the first amendment is, how can she practice being a judge?" When the press asked for it, once again this heavily shielded family got more special treatment than the average citizen would have. Even Dennis Hastert didn't have that much power and he was Speaker of the House for seven years. This is more evidence that some of the more elitist in the country don't have to follow the rules or the law and will suffer no consequences for just about anything. Arkansas is home to some the dumbest voters in Earth as so far they have elected Tom Cotton, a blithering idiot, to the Senate with damaging consequences. Keep it up and we'll be sifting through rubble wondering how it all went so terrible wrong.

8)Tess Holliday and obese models- I have no problem with plus size models. Big women are beautiful and I actually prefer a more rubenesque figure than some twig but having really fat women as models is every bit as bad as anorexic ones. Tess Holliday is a size 22 and is enjoying what we certainly be a brief dalliance with fame because let's face facts, SHE'S MORBIDLY OBESE AND THAT IS NOT OKAY. Fat is unhealthy and not some fucking lifestyle choice. 90% of the fat people out there can lose weight if they want but that would require dieting, exercise and willpower. I was thirty pounds overweight once and two years later burned off all but five pounds. Then I got horribly sick and dropping another sixty making me look like I just walked out of a Nazi death camp. I've been on both sides of the spectrum and neither is appealing. Can we stop with so called "fat shaming," and call it what it is, getting you to accept the fact that fat is not okay and the world would be a better place if people were slimmer and healthier? Fat people are destroying insurance premiums as they are far sicker than the rest of us. Fat is BAD! Stop pretending otherwise.

7) Crime- Crime is rising people, later than I would have expected, but it is finally here. The breakdown of society is accelerating, as it is wont to do, as mistrust for police, a lot by their own hand, in combination with an inner city imploding due to many factors (drug war, racism, guns and cultural deterioration), is causing places like Baltimore and NYC to see a huge spike in crime. This was not unexpected, as this happens every time in the downward spiral of a nation unable to stop the tide of unemployment with decent jobs. Lack of hope results in chaos and the inner city has seen that evolve over the last thirty years were the deck is stacked against them from birth. Now the black community deserves some scorn for their racist attitudes towards all white people, as seen in a lot of popular culture, like Black-ish, which was much more anti-white than I thought it would be, is  causing many white people to turn their backs on a group in desperate need of outside help. Pride is a sin people. And if you don't address your problems soon, these ghettos are going to be walled off, no go zones as the people inside starve. It has happened before so don't think it can't happen again.

6)The Military and Anthrax- Can we please stop sending deadly pathogens by mail please? In another stupid case, this time not by the CDC, the US military sent live anthrax to nine off site places resulting in lots of people getting treated, even if the chances for contamination was very low. Still find another way because this is getting tired.

5)The Briefcase and Britain's Hardest Grafter- Reality TV has hit new lows here and abroad with Hunger Games level of cruelty being used on the poor. The Briefcase pits two needy families against one another for a hundred grand and the other from the UK puts 25 poor people through a gauntlet of tasks to win a measly 16,000 dollars. Whee! We are coming dangerously close to the Running Man level of game shows where higher and higher stakes will be used to attract viewers who will become more and more jaded. I hate people.

4)The MSM and Bernie Sanders- If I hear one more outlet tell me Sanders can't win, I am going to punch someone. How come Sanders is a long shot, but George Pataki is a reasonable choice, even though he is polling at less than one percent right now. Carly Fiorina and Donald Trump get plenty of press and not once have I heard the same laughter they are aiming at Sanders. And what's so goddammned funny about his candidacy? His ideas make better sense than anyone else's. This is where we have come when reasonable debate is treated as insanity and nonsense like that which comes out of every Republican's mouth is gospel. This is the powers that be trying to convince you that things that will help every American, minus the greedy one percent, are impossible. Do NOT fall for this crap. Sanders could win if enough people believe in what he has to say.

3)FIFA- I don't know which is worse, the fact that this level of corruption was staggering in size or that it took 24 years to bring charges against a few people. Left out was the embattled president, Sepp Blatter, which is his real name, who in no way is innocent in all of this. More elitist bullshit where a few token people get thrown to the wolves while the masterminds walk away scott free. And why so long for charges? This whole story stinks and I can only hope that John Oliver will bring more light to this later tonight in his excellent show.

2)Dennis Hastert- The longest serving speaker in Republican history, bit the big one this week after it came out he was paying hush money to a former male student for sexual molestation charges. The funniest part about all this was not only did douchebag pass some of the worst anti-gay laws in US history, he got caught by the Patriot act which he championed for. Oh savor the delicious irony in that statement for a minute. Yes because this ass wanted to spy on the banks, his removal of $50,000 dollars and then just below $10,000 for years triggered an audit which landed him in a lot of trouble when he lied to the FBI about it, an offence that can get you ten years in prison for. And it was all his own fault. Rumors about him being gay have swirled for years and now appear true. The GOP needs to accept that people from all walks of life gay and deal with it. One was Speaker.

1)The Duggars- Anyone having 19 kids is seriously mentally ill and should be hospitalized. The fact that they belonged to the hate group, the PFC, and demonized child molesters as gay people for years, again the irony when one appeared in their own ranks. Josh Duggar has been accused of molesting girls as young as six (EWWW) and with his own sisters when he was fourteen but at that age we've all done stupid things. It's more the fact that he believed his own bullshit and went after gay people, knowing full well what he did in his own past than his creepy actions at a young age. The fact that Mike Huckabee is supporting them may have singlehandedly destroyed his candidacy, so way to go there. This whole family is nuts and I hope they go off the air forever, never to return. The only reason that might happen is not TLC but advertisers that are distancing themselves stat. So congratulations to the Duggar family, caught on tape abusing animals, saying racist things and now incestual molestation, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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