Sunday, September 15, 2013

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: REPUBLICANS

Yet another week where voting Republican can literally cost you your life. Anyone voting for these assholes is a traitor to this country and dumber than dirt at this point. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Jordan Linn Graham- The worst Bridezilla ever decided she really didn't want to be married any more. Eight days in while on honeymoon in the no-longer aptly named Glacier National Park, her and her husband Cody Lee Johnson, were arguing on a cliff side when she pushed him over the side. She tried to concoct a story of her husband leaving with some unknown friend but evidence all pointed her way and she was soon arrested. Relatives and friends say Jordan was never keen on marriage but really wanted a wedding. Guess this is one way to accomplish that. Hope she likes prison.

2)Anthony Weiner- After spectacularly losing the NYC mayoral race, Weiner left the same way he entered: with no class and a middle finger for all. After it became clear that he would finish dead last in the race, Weiner fled past reporters, flipping them the bird in the process. He then had to be snuck into his campaign site through a fast food joint next door and past Sydney Leathers, who was attempting to crash the party and showing off her totally unnecessary new boob job. Word to any women out there: men like real boobs. So unless you need them, stay away from silicone. Weiner went on to trash the media for "wrecking his career," which in actuality he did all to himself. The icing on the cake was his appearance on Good Day New York where the two boobs who run that show (Greg Kelly is unintentually hilarious all the time, perhaps learned from his time on Fox and Friends which he used to co-host) could not shut up about Leathers, leaving a smile/sneer on Weiner's face. Priceless. I will miss him.

3)The Zimmerman's- Both George and his soon to be ex Shellie both get named this week for unbelievable behavior. Let's start with everyone's favorite punching bag, George, who seems to have forgotten he was just on trial for murder recently, is behaving like a real idiot lately. I never said he was smart, I just said the evidence wasn't there to convict. But after two speeding stops by police and  now this you have to wonder if he'll be like OJ and be seeing prison bars for some other reason soon. For those living under a rock, the Zimmerman's got into some sort of altercation over removing items from the house as their divorce intensifies. I've gone through this and Zimmerman should learn this lesson: let her take whatever she wants and buy new shit later. Trust me, it's a lot less of a hassle. Instead they argued, she called the police and, it appears,  she lied about what happened. She claims he was threatening her with a gun which police say they never found. She claims he punched her father who had a small cut on his nose. Again, I've punched people in the nose, so either he hits like a girl or it didn't happen that way as she said. A broken I-Pad is in the center of this with each claiming the other broke it. They are trying to get video off the device which was being utilized at the time and could bring charges for either if it is recovered. If it shows George attacking people, he WILL be going to jail this time. Time to move dude and change your name if you get clear of this. Florida wants you gone. Listen to them.

4)The Arsonist Who May Have Burned Down Seaside Heights- I've been to Seaside Heights many times. My relatives lived not far from there and we used to walk the boardwalk when I was a kid. When I lived down there for several years, I went during the summer often. I was horrified when Sandy washed it away. I was pissed when it burned to the ground this week and now arson may be to blame. I loathe the destruction of historical areas, and while it may not be a Buddhist Statue from the 8th Century or a mosque in Afghanistan being razed, it still hurts to see it go. And all because some dick decided to set fire to it? I hope they find him and sentence him to a lifetime of hard labor, bad food and continuous showings of crappy fire movies like Backdraft.

5)John Kerry- This was not a good week for anyone. John Kerry is proving to be one of the worst Secretary of State's ever and all for reasons I saw that everyone else ignored. Kerry may not be the worst politician but he was a terrible presidential candidate, as almost everyone from this state has ever been. Maybe Warren can buck the trend and run and win. I'd vote for her in a heartbeat. But Kerry for all his strengths, is a windbag who doesn't know when to shut up. It hurt him badly on the campaign trail and it is not helping him here. This week while talking at great length with his Russian counterpart, Sergey Lavrov, he bored the crowd to tears by going on and on and on. The key to being a good speaker is knowing when to talk and to listen. Kerry just blabs. Lavrov responded with this: "Sometimes diplomacy demands silence." That is a burn. Kerry has been all over the map from demanding a war with Syria, to asking to have more diplomacy, to war again and then acceptance of the Russian plan. Make up your mind dude.

6)Barack Obama- True, he has been unfairly maligned by the GOP this week, but it doesn't help when you address the nation for the most pointless speech in American history and then veer all over the road as to what direction we are headed, that people are starting to lose confidence in you. The Red Line speech was stupid as he drew a line in the sand that wasn't necessary. He then went on to describe the scenario for every war plan we have tried over the last sixty years and with a 0% success rate as the best possible outcome. Really? Is history dead in this country? Does no one remember we've lost every war over the last half a century because we don't annihilate our enemy and instead throw a few missiles at them, put millions of soldiers in harms way for no good reason and declare victory as the rest of whatever country we've invaded tries to kill us. Limited strikes are a suicide strike. If you are going to attack someone you don't go and do it half-assed. There is a reason we won WW2 and it wasn't by playing nice with the Nazi's and Japanese. War is hell and should only be used as a last resort. Syria is not it by a long shot.

7)Diane Feinstein- The worst democrat in the country struck again this week with passage of her draconian anti-gun bill in California that will make 80% of all guns illegal there. Criminals and cops are all the ones that will have guns after this crap gets signed into law. She then went on to make changes to the worthless Journalist Shield law which would give no protection to sites like this as only "corporate" media sources would be protected. This is one of the most fascist laws to be up for passage and God help me, the Tea Party agrees. Mike Lee and Ted Cruz have both denounced the anti-blogger rule as anti-American and they are actually right for once. This bitch need to go, even if a Republican has to take her place. But the GOP will run some lunatic even worse than her, as they have continuously done in winnable races versus people like Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi in the past. If I would have to vote for any of those three over the GOP candidate, as I would have in the past, the GOP is truly lost.

8)Republicans- People in Colorado died this week after record rain fall sent a year's worth of rain in a few days, flooding areas severely. The reason the flood was so bad was two fold: no attention paid to changing weathers patters caused by climate change and defunding of needed infrastructure monies such as dam building in the area which directly led to the tragedy. So far, only four people are confirmed dead but that number is expected to rise. If anyone who died voted for a Republican in the last several elections, they literally voted themselves to death. Votes have consequences and the Republicans party is determined to kill us all, at least the poor and middle class. They are still trying to get rid of food stamps, unemployment, the minimum wage, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, not to mention Obamacare. They want a free for all society with no rules where the rich have everything and the poor struggle to survive. That is what anyone voting for the GOP is doing. So keep voting for the GOP people. But remember your kids are dying. You are dying. This country is dying and you are responsible. Hold our leaders to a higher standard. So congratulation republicans you are indeed douchebag of the week.

No comments:

Post a Comment