DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: DEMOCRATS

While Republican voters should get more ire for their idiocy in voting for candidates who are proven failures like Brownback, Scott, Walker and McConnell, the Democrats are running some of the worst campaign ideas I've ever seen. It's like they are trying to lose. If this was a fight, I charge the left with taking a dive. How do you ignore topics like income inequality, pot legalization, gay rights and tuition hikes for the tone deaf platitudes such as the "war on women," NRA associations and other classic oldies from days gone by. The GOP wisely didn't run any weirdo candidates this time around so the democrats picked up the slack by harping on topics no one cares about. Let's see those runner ups.

1)Oscar Pistorius- This once great Olympic athlete finished his disgrace with a short five year prison sentence, far less than he deserved. Legless Pooch killed his model girlfriend in a bathroom, a relationship her mother said was never consummated. I don't know if I believe that, but it will be at least ten months, when he is allowed a parole hearing, before he gets any action that doesn't involve a burly biker dude. Enjoy prison, douchebag.

2)Dan Patrick- As I stated above, I cannot believe some of the mouth breathers that the right wants to elect into government. This latest waste of space is running for Lt. Governor of Texas and actually said that he believes that God speaks to him through Duck Dynasty star, Phil Robertson. That is fucking crazy as is anyone who votes for this dangerous lunatic. He is anti-gay, anti-Muslim, anti-woman and free of sane thoughts in general. Yet, he is leading by double digits in Texas. That is absolute insanity and the exact reason why this country is going flush. Texas should be ashamed of itself.

3)Teenage girls joining Isis- Speaking of crazy, three female teens from Colorado tried to make it to Syria to join Isis but got stopped in Germany when their parents tracked them down. What possible excuse do these girls have for trying to join a terrorist group? I know bad boys are exciting but talk about taking it too far. The funny part is that this happening globally and, instead of become fighters as they wish and are being told, any dumb bitch who makes it there gets married off to some sweaty Arab instead. That's hysterical. Stay in school kids.

4)Vladimir Martynenko- I know few of you out there have any idea who this is, but trust me, he is in a world of hurt right now. Earlier this week, a plane carrying Christophe de Margerie, the CEO of a French oil company Total, and a close friend of Putin, crashed when a snow plow, driven by Martynenko hit it as it was taking off. Prosecutors are claiming he was drunk at the time, which is being contested, but either way, this guy is going to get the blame. Four others at the airport have been detained as well. I hope they like cold weather because they are most likely Siberia bound for a nice long stay at some distant Gulag. Ouch.

5)Cancelled TV shows- Two shows bit it this week. Manhattan Love Story from ABC was the first to get the axe, which regular readers will recognize as one of the series I felt would disappear first. It was unwatchable drek. I hate voice overs and this sitcom was chock full of it. Expect a lot of other sitcoms like A to Z, Bad Judge, and Selfie to join the cancelled ranks before years end as well. The only new sitcom worth watching is Marry Me, which is absolutely hysterical. Honey Boo Boo reached it's end as well after Mama June revealed she was dating a convicted child molester. While I can't fault TLC for axing this show, I find it ironic that it was because of what is certainly the show's main demographic. Honey Boo Boo is either going to be some stripper with daddy issues or a whale of a woman like her mother surviving off of welfare payments. Could go either way with little chance of ever hearing this being said: "now introducing Dr. Honey Boo Boo."

6)Ebola and health care workers- This week it came out that Dr. Craig Spencer, who just having returned from Liberia, was infected with Ebola. Instead of self quarantining himself, as he was supposed to have done, dumbass traveled across the city by jogging, taxis, subways and eventually a bowling alley. The fact that he may have been symptomatic at the time is all the more troubling. Considering both him and Dr. Nancy Snyderman failed to follow their own guidelines, NY, NJ and now FL have all issued mandatory quarantines for all people exposed to Ebola. Kaci Hickox became the first person to get a 21 day stay in an isolation room after returning as a nurse who treated Ebola patients. Of course she is crying and whining about it, oblivious to the fact that no one who has been exposed to Ebola seems to understand the concept of staying put and have instead decided to recreate the Amazing Race while trying to use all their frequent flyer miles. If you want to volunteer to help anyone infected, fine by me, but do not expect us to welcome you back with open arms as so far, no one seems capable of sitting on their couch for three weeks.

7)NYC Police- This week, a racist Muslim convert attacked four police with a hatchet. He got one on the head, one in the arm and the other two filled him full of holes. They also somehow missed their target and managed to shatter several windows and get a woman in the back who made the mistake of going outside and being anywhere near a NYC cop. The attacker could not have been more than a few feet away and still they missed. NYC has one of the worst accuracy rates of any police force in the country, with most of their force incapable of hitting a stationary target at six feet or less. Nice training guys. Considering you strangled a guy for selling loose cigarettes, hardly a crime even worth stopping, you guys are dangerous to everyone. It came out that the assailant hated white people, cops and non-Muslims. Sounds like a fun guy. I am not sorry he got killed but I wish the police would learn to aim better.

8)The Palins- This week Sarah and Bristol Palin blamed the "left wing" media for lying about a recent brawl they were involved with, even though audio tape from several eyewitnesses and the police report say something radically different. According to the Palins, they were attacked viciously by unnamed people at a party, which they were not even invited to. Everyone else said Bristol was really drunk while dragging her five year old around and punched the ex-boyfriend of her sister Willow repeatedly. How scary is it that this brain damaged bitch almost became VP of the USA?

9)Jaylen Fryberg- In yet another school shooting, this time in Washington, this douchebag shot his friends and then himself in a truly bizarre attack. Popular, on the football team and recently suspended for fighting (breaking the nose of his foe), this guy is not the usual loner/loser we are used to. A break up of his girlfriend along with some oddly perverse sexual habits for a 14 year old, may have been the catalyst leading up to this. Allegedly he was in to "rough sex," and was upset his girlfriend was sleeping with a friend of his, which is off as he is 14. Whether this led to the shooting or not is anyone's guess but seems likely. Either Fryberg was dangerously mentally ill and no one knew it or the kid was so fragile due to the babying of today's teens that he snapped when he felt the first taste of rejection which he may have been sheltered from all his life. Either way, he's a dick and I am glad he's dead. I just wish he hadn't taken a bunch of innocent people with him.

10)Democrats- Speaking of wastes of space, the democrats are barely hanging on right now when they should be winning handedly. For some inane reason, they have failed to remind voters that the GOP shut down the government, are running on polices that are proven failures like trickle down economics and have no concrete plan to fix anything. The democrats are losing in places like MA for governor because they nominated a person that was so unlikable, Scott Brown grabbed the seat Martha Coakley should have had easily a few years back. Now she is on the verge of losing again as she has failed to embrace lefty policies like pot legalization, tuition help and higher taxes on the wealthy for some nonsense about nothing that anyone cares about. Everyone I talk to does not care who wins as either way, the person blows and there seems to be little difference between the two. In some states, like WI, FL and PA, democrats have run better campaigns and might pull out a win. Places like MA, Kentucky and Arkansas, have terrible democratic ads have not helped the struggling candidates who are at a complete disconnect with the voters. They keep going after right wingers that were never going to vote for them while ignoring their base in the process. This is a sure fire way to lose an election. So congratulations democrats you are indeed douchebag of the week.