10)The Dark Tower/The Mist- As a professional writer, one of my favorite authors of all time is Stephen King. And while I will be the first to admit that some of his later stuff doesn't pack the same punch of his earlier work, there are still some gems to be found such as his Mr. Mercedes series and Full Dark No Stars. Lately, there has been a flood of King material splashed across film and TV. Some of it has been successful as I hear the Mr. Mercedes series is quite good but I will never see it as it is on a channel I don't subscribe to. Rats. Likewise, word about IT is positive and looks scary as hell. However, some of his stuff has been utter crap further hurt by the fact that the two worst adaptions of any Stephen King work ever are also two of my favorites of his. The Mist is easily in my top five works of all time and absolutely loved the film version some years back. The TV monstrosity is nothing like the book, dull as hell, has special effects I could do on my computer better and has some of the least likable characters ever put to screen. Other than that, it was still terrible. The show is NOTHING like the book and should be avoided like the plague. Then we have the Dark Tower, my favorite book series of his and one of my favorites of anyone. I knew this movie would suck from the first day I heard about the script was instantly horrified that they just pissed over all of this. This film is the very definition of what happens when studio executives fuck things up hard. Interference reigned and word has come out that is exactly what happened. Roland being black was not a good idea, especially by white guys who are tired of having politcal correctness shoved down our throats 24/7. A female Dr. Who is fine. This wasn't as Roland being white is INTEGRAL to the story. And he doesn't wear a hat in the film, an iconic vision of Roland, because some executive said films with characters wearing hats don't make money. Somebody better show this ass films like Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Magnificent Seven and anything starring Clint Eastwood. Yeah, those movies didn't tank and one came out last year. The kiss of death was the moronic idea to make it PG-13 and focus on Jake instead of Roland. This film sucked hard and I implore people to stay away. Maybe in another decade we will get versions of either of these stories that are way better than this.
9)Pet Vaccines- Stupidity took another left turn this week when it came out that some assholes are not vaccinating their pets in Brooklyn and nationwide because of autism fears. For the love of God people, some common sense would be nice once in a while. First, pets can't get autism. There has never been a recorded case ever of pet autism and how would you know anyway. It's a pet. They don't speak. Plus, pets NEED vaccinations and it's the LAW everywhere. They can get rabies or distemper which not only will kill them but puts you and your family in imminent danger. Wise up America and vaccinate yourself and your pets. There is no conclusive evidence that autism is caused by vaccines and your pets are 100% safe from this as well. Morons.
8)Eric Boiling- This right wing fuckwad from Fox News just embroiled the station in yet another sexual harassment case when he was suspended for sending unwanted dick picks to station interns and other female workers. This guy is such a Trump butt kisser and GOP water bearer that this just makes me laugh. This is the same guy that castrated Anthony Weiner on Twitter for sending out dick pics, going so far as to tweet he couldn't understand why anyone would send someone these kind of photos, and then does the exact same thing himself. Who thinks sending some random female pictures of your junk is a good idea especially after seeing others go down for it? This guy is even dumber than I thought. I hope he gets fired.
7)Joe Arpaio- America's "toughest" Sheriff, an anti immigration blowhard who has also fanned the flames of racism with his Obama was born in Kenya bullshit, which has continued to this day despite no evidence for any of it, got fucked hard this week. Now, he is going to jail for up to six months for contempt of court for ignoring court rulings on immigration laws. He has begging for money to help raise a defense and appeal but I hear a lot of that is falling on deaf ears. I hope he dies behind bars but to be honest, I will surprised if he actually gets any jail time at all knowing our crap justice system.
6)Missouri- The NAACP issued a warning to all black people to avoid the state of Missouri for their new Jim Crow laws that even I cannot believe are back in this day and age. I've been warning black people for years to tone it down and stop coming across as militant and angry. It's making white people nuts. Now, they cannot get a fair day in court, states nationwide are becoming less and less likely to help black people and the chances for their lives to get far, far worse are becoming more and more prevalent by the day. The new law gets rid of whistleblower protection so anyone complaining about racial discrimination would get no help from the government and could be fired as a result. This is just a continuation of things seen during the last two administrations, although to be fair Obama's attacks on whistleblowers had more to do with government secrecy and less about race. The Missouri law on the other hand legalizes racism in the work place. We are losing this country to racist, religious douchebags. We better show up in 2018 in droves because these fuckers will kill us all.
5)Martin Shkreli- The most hated man in America was found guilty this week of fraud and other charges stemming from a Ponzi scheme that went belly up. The only reason he wasn't found guilty in all eight charges was he got lucky. After Shkreli's Ponzi scheme died, he invested in a Pharma company that netted him millions and he used that to pay back the investors he swindled. Had the drug company gone under too, he would have been on the hook for million. Instead, his investors made money. But he still faces 20 years in prison which makes me happy still.
4)Baltimore Cops- If you live in Baltimore known this: the cops are setting you up and the entire force at this point should be fired. Do NOT call the police in the area unless you are desperate, suicidal or both. Another video has surfaced showing cops planting evidence on a suspect. As someone who has had this happen to me, I know it's been going for decades. Luckily for me, the cop's story blew up in his face when it came out they had no evidence against me other than the word of a guy currently in a mental hospital and the evidence they had was all falsified. Guess who got fired? Cops are not to be trusted and lately there is hard proof of that. The people of Baltimore should treat police as enemy combatants. Demand the entire force be fired, with arrests and actual prison time for anyone corrupt. But as this won't happen, I would advise NO ONE to got to this area until they fix this and if you can leave, do so immediately. Bankrupt the city and demand better.
3)Republicans- People are starting to wake up to the fact that these guys suck hard. Congressional approval right now is at 10% and the GOP is getting most of the blame here. Paul Ryan's approval is around 18%, meaning his chances of re-election seem slimmer by the day. Guess someone shouldn't have taken that Speaker job huh? The governor of WV switched parties this week to Republican which is kind of like someone boarding the Titanic as it was going under. Not wise idiot. Meanwhile, in Kentucky billboards are popping up everywhere slamming Mitch McConnell whose numbers have also flatlined as of late. If he was up for re-election in 2018 , I think he'd be nervous. Polls show independents starting to flee the GOP which is exactly the timeline I said would happen. They had six months to a year to do something to help people and instead has gotten jack done because all their bills help the 1% and no one else. As Republicans fight among themselves, the country is going nowhere fast. Good luck next year. You are going to need it.
2)Trump staff- Another week, another round of idiots. Anthony Scaramucci had the worst week as he lost his job, his wife, most of his friends and missed the birth of his son. He got his old job back at the Import/Export bank but let's be real, that has got to suck being back there knowing your career is over. Steven Miller, perhaps the only man to make Martin Shkreli cuddly in comparison, gave a press conference this week where he went after reporters and shit all over the Statue of Liberty. Classy. Meanwhile, McMartin is being challenged by the Bannon wing nuts, who in turn is being glared at by new Chief of Staff, John Kelly. And as all this swirls around, leaks are happening everywhere. As Congress and Trump are in vacation for the next few weeks, maybe we will get some blessed quiet for once.
1)Donald Trump- Christ what a loser. He gave speeches to the boy scouts and police and then lied about both. Neither were the greatest speeches ever given as Trump claimed organizers of each told him. Both issued statements that they never said anything of the sort. The Secret Service vacated Trump Towers over a rent dispute so they are now stationed outside in a van making security that much more difficult. Leaked transcripts of conversations Trump had with leaders of Mexico and Australia proved that him being a douche to both was true, crying about the wall to Mexico and yelling at Australia that those Syrian refugees were not wanted here, even though it was already a done deal. The worst was the fact that a grand jury had been impaneled to look at Trump's financial world which is the most likely thing to bring him down. There is a good reason why Trump didn't want his taxes out and this may be why: he's dirty as hell. Money laundering and real estate go hand in hand and there is a solid chance he is very guilty of this and in bed with Russians up to his eyeballs. If solid proof comes out about this, he's done. Even better, he and his family may be in orange sooner than later if true. Even Congress doesn't trust him anymore as they are set to pass laws that hamper his ability to do things like fire Mueller or make a recess appointment. Jeff Flake recently wrote a book distancing himself from Trump and is a last ditch attempt to not lose in 2018 which seems to be more and more likely since he idiotically voted for the god awful health care plan the GOP threw at us. Even worse, Trump's numbers are sinking hard even among Republicans whose support has dropped from mid eighties to mid seventies. Among independents it's around 40% and Democrats are at 2%. Ouch. These numbers spell disaster for 2018 if Democrats tie Republicans to him which shouldn't be that hard. Then again it is the democrats who can always be relied on to fuck things up for themselves. So congratulations Trump, you are indeed douchebag of the week for the seven hundredth time. Mazel Tov.
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