TOP TEN SHOWS OF 2012
10)AMERICAN HORROR STORY- Last year's run was an incredible ghost story told in a new way. This year's episodes so far are unbelievable in that they have run the gauntlet of mutated humans, Nazi doctors, demons, a serial killer named Bloodyface and even aliens for some reason all in a mental hospital in the 1960's. And, somehow, it works. Easily, the most shocking new show on TV(as every season is new on the show).
9)SOUTH PARK- Now in it's 16th season, this show is still timely, gross, and very, very funny. This year it has contained such classic episodes as "Reverse Cowgirl," where the TSA is required to be present in every bathroom in America, "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining," self explanatory and "A Nightmare on Face Time," a classic spoof of The Shining after Stan's dad buys the fading Blockbuster business. Great TV.
8)FRINGE-The last season for this show is it's best yet where the Fringe team is decades in the future where a dystopian America is run by highly evolutionary humans capable of extraordinary feats. This is a series ending on a wonderful note. It will be missed.
7)TOTALLY BIASED WITH W KAMAU BELL-A new talk show on FX, sandwiched between Anger Management and Brand X, Bell proves to be a talented host and funny comedian, especially in social matters where he really shines. A lot of people may not be watching who should be. If you like shows like the Daily Show or The Colbert Report, this is the program for you. If you are a Republican with no sense of humor, perhaps you should watch something else.
6)SONS OF ANARCHY- FX's best show is basically Hamlet on motorcycles but creator Kurt Sutter is proving to be a master writer and superb plotter in this great ensemble show. Ron Perlman and Katy Segal are brilliant but, then again, so is everyone else, including Sutter's even more damaged Otto. Week to week you have no idea who will live and who will die and the suspense is unreal. I can't wait for next September for the penultimate season.
5)DEXTER- This season was the first that didn't have a single big bad, but three separate ones spread out over the story arc. This allowed more on (spoiler alert) Deb discovering her step brother, who she was also in love with, is a serial killer. Dexter meanwhile was dating a woman suspected in poisoning deaths over the last twenty years. All this while Captain Laguarta was hot on Dexter's trail as the Bay Harbor Butcher. The last episode which I won't ruin here had the single best ending from any show I saw this year. If you haven't watched this season yet, by all means do. It's a doozy.
4)SNL- I have watched SNL since it first aired in 1975. It has always had it ups and downs throughout the decades with some of the worst being the ill fated 1980 season after the original cast left and the later seasons with Mike Myers and Molly Shannon. Unwatchable. This season has been the polar opposite with great sketches, music and new additions like Kate McKinnon and Cicely Strong. Highlights of the year were the Obama/Romney debates, Seth McFarlane with PSY, and Martin Short in every sketch he was in.
3)FAMILY GUY- Speaking of Seth McFarlane, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Family Guy which has been on fire this year. The single best episode of any show this year was "Tea Peter," where Peter, after joining the Quohog Tea Party, gets rid of government and then everything falls apart, as all reasonable people know it would. I didn't laugh at anything as much as I did this.
2)SHERLOCK BBC- As a Sherlockian, I was thrilled to see BBC continue the adventures of Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as Sherlock and Watson. The only reason it wasn't higher on my list is there were only three episodes as always which of course always leaves me wanting more. One of the best revivals of Doyle ever.
1)ELEMENTARY-I look forward to this show every week. Not only does Jonny Lee Miller do an excellent Sherlock Holmes but Lucy Lui is excellent as Joan Watson. The fact she is drop dead gorgeous doesn't hurt either. This show is everything I want in TV: smart, funny and engaging. I wish the network executives would get that memo because these next bits hurt my will to live.
WORST SHOWS OF 2012
10)THE VICTORIA SECRET LINGERIE SHOW- What idiot cast this show? Ratings plummeted 25% this year, the first downturn ever for this usually high rated spectacle. Hot girls? Check. Skimpy outfits? Check. Justin Bieber singing? Check, wait, what? Exactly what target audience were you going for here because I am fairly certain tween girls should NOT be watching the Victoria's Secret Lingerie show? Guys watch this show moron. Pick acts accordingly. And we HATE Bieber whose latest news reports say he acts like a spoiled brat now. Are his fifteen minutes almost up yet?
9)BEAUTY AND THE BEAST- Nevermind the fact that this plot line has been done to death, you eliminated any sort of mythology for an Incredible Hulk story line and cast it with dead eyed actors who look as if they would rather be anywhere else. And that tiny scar you gave "the Beast" looks like he nicked himself shaving. This show is sad.
8)RINGER- I watched the first episode when it premiered in 2011 and was immediately struck by the piss poor production values which took the whole twins scenario to a whole new level of ineptitude. One scene had Sarah Michelle Geller standing on an obvious set, taking place on a stationary boat on a sound stage somewhere, talking to the back of another actress's head (her "twin") as buckets of water were being thrown at her just off screen. It was the single worst moment I have seen in TV special effects in decades. It was mercifully killed in 2012 with a final episode that solved nothing. What a waste of everyone's time and money
7)NBC Olympic Coverage- Yes it got good ratings and yes it helped them move to number one this year for the first time since the 90's, but my God their coverage sucked. They tape delayed everything even though the rest of the world got to see it live. They had questionable commercial breaks, the worst being a cut from Gabby Douglas, who is black, to a monkey hanging from the rings. This was certainly unintentional but it also looked really racist. The biggest F You to the audience was cutting away from the final ceremonies and the band, the Who, to show your awful little monkey show,"Animal Hospital." That show died because of this as people were PISSED you cut away from a taped program, without warning and screwing up DVR's across the nation. Stop messing with live events, you dicks.
6)PARNTERS- This show was great the first time I saw it when it was called Will and Grace. Now it's just sad and pathetic and worst of all, not funny. It was quickly axed as expected. David Krumholtz deserves far better than this drivel.
5)LIZ AND DICK- I don't know what happened to Lindsay Lohan. Once upon a time she was talented, pretty and a rising star. Now, she's facing more jail time, possesses a complete lack of acting ability and looks twenty years her actual age. This misfire of a TV movie was bad on all fronts, acting, directing, writing, even the lighting was terrible. I don't know what was going on behind the scenes but I am hoping everyone was wasted the whole time because if sobriety factors into this piece of garbage, that does not bode well for anyone's future. And Lindsay, I think you'll be seeing Justin Beiber in that "Where are they now?" segment on some local news cast a few years on the future.
4)FOX AND FRIENDS- This is the worst news show in the country as these three idiots try to out compete the other two in who can say the dumbest thing possible. SNL savages the three, Gretchen Carlson, Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade, by playing them as borderline retards, which isn't that far from the truth. They were forced to pull a "news piece" this year which was nothing more than anti-Obama propaganda. On Fox News? No! They also constantly contradict themselves, sometimes within minutes of a previous statement. Fox News and CNN get a special award for not only misreporting the Supreme Court Obamacare ruling but then running with it for as long as nine more minutes.
3)GUYS WITH KIDS- Easily the worst sitcom on TV which has somehow not been cancelled yet. I watched the first episode and had to be rushed to the hospital soon afterward for severe brain cramping because it tried to escape my skull rather than watch one more second of this drek. Absolutely horrid.
2)HERE COMES HONEY BOO BOO- Is this what we have become as a people? Watching the human thumb that is her mother dress her fat little girl up and parade her around in sick and twisted beauty pageants that seem only to appeal to stage moms and pedophiles is a sure sign of the end of the world. Have we no shame any more? Why is this popular? If this kind of smut continues I am going to drink a can of Drano and end it all because I don't know how much more of this I can take.
1)X FACTOR- I barely got through the first season. Then they fired half the judges, and hired Demi Lavato (who the hell is that?) and, God help us, Brittany Spears. Rumor is she's gone next year, as is LA Reid, a terrible judge in his own right. Apparently, they wanted crazy Brittany and they got boring Brittany instead. I will be much more happy with fired Brittany. But if that was all the issues this show had it wouldn't be the worst show of the year. But wait, there's more. Then they hired the robotic Marion Lopez and Khloe Kardashian, who couldn't read cue cards if they were pasted in front of her face. Constant miscues as to cameras or lighting were apparent and the judges gave such terrible advice that those that followed them were quickly eliminated. The show was so bad that only two acts would agree to be on the bloated two hour finale for a winner that no one will ever hear of again. This show is dead in the water, Simon. Axe it and try again. I hear American Idol is hiring.
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