TEN PREDICTIONS FOR 2013

If you thought 2012 was bad, and it was, wait until next year. We face a catastrophe around every corner from global warming to flu pandemics to solar storms to Kim Kardashian and Kanye having a child together. It's like a disaster movie or a Lindsay Lohan project come to life. Let's see what my crystal ball holds for our increasingly dim future.

10)Celebrities will continue their fight against guns while starring in movies and TV that glorify said weapons. I find it funny that people like Jamie Foxx, starring in one of the most violent movies of the year, is in a PSA about gun rights. The same goes for people like Al Pacino, Jeremy Renner and Jessica Biel, among four dozen others, all who have starred in very violent movies while condemning legal rights for those that use guns responsibly. The hypocrisy is thick with irony here. Why don't celbs ever seem to go after causes right here at home that are far more pressing? Like poverty, the drug war, or the stupefying success of Chris Brown? Even when their hearts are in the right place, like Ben Affleck and his fight to help people in the Congo, seem to ignore the very real problems we have in our own backyard. Gun control is not the answer. Getting these raving loons who are killing people en masse off the street seems like a better start.

9)Global warming will continue to accelerate as deniers find their seaside homes under several feet of water. The facts are in and the news is that not only is global warming occurring, it's getting worse. Parts of Antarctica are warming at twice the levels thought, Greenland is becoming more and more like it's name implies and Arctic sea ice is dwindling to record lows. Yet, somehow we still hear from the deniers that none of this occurring. This is mostly due to "science" provided by the oil and gas companies who are paying for these deceptive results and, those that know no better, are believing them. Next year will bring more heat, worse storms and more death. Wonderful. And while all this occurs, more reports will surface telling us that none of it is happening, stupid people will fall for it and nothing will change.

8)Congress will continue to get nothing accomplished except band aids and platitudes. Meanwhile, the economy will continue to sink, taxes will rise and the Tea Party will demand an end to all spending, except the programs they like, especially ones that primarily benefit white people. The ones that feed small brown children and provide access to medical care for immigrants will be seen as the devil's plan while they simultaneously fight for and against Social Security and Medicare. The Tea Party is in trouble, but much like a wounded animal, this is when they are most dangerous. They will continue to spit and make noise but their political power will be greatly diminished. I echo the words of Grover Norquest in that I don't want to eliminate the Tea Party, I just want to weaken it enough where I can drown it in a bathtub.

7)Iran will continue to draw the world into a world war with their insanity to get a nuke. Look, I can hardly blame them for wanting one as any idiot can see the difference how we treat North Korea with Iraq or Lybia. However, a bunch of religious wingnuts with nukes seems awfully dangerous and I still support the decision to go to war if we have to to stop them. I know the government has a near perfect record over the last fifty years starting wars that were totally unnecessary, but this one strikes me as different. For one, Obama is not hell bent on going in there as the repercussions over such a decision are huge and he sees that. W he isn't. If the time comes and we have to go in, which could be as soon as March of next year, WW3 may not be far behind. If we let Iran get nukes, the chances for a nuclear holocaust accelerate greatly so the choice is a few hundred million dead now or a few billion dead later. Both options suck but one is clearly better than the other. This is one of those things that bears a great deal of watching.

6)The main stream media will continue to suck and not tell anyone half of the stories going on in the real world. We haven't been told the truth about much lately from much of them, ignoring things like the San Antonio theater shooting that was stopped by an off duty cop with a gun, the sweatshop conditions being used by major retailers like Kmart, Disney and Walmart in places like Bangladesh and China, or even silver manipulation by banks like JP Morgan.  How many heard in the MSM about the HSBC fine of $1.9 billion and no arrests for dealing with terrorists and drug dealers, actions that would have resulted in the death penalty for an ordinary citizen? None of these stories were covered. The most widely ignored story was the fact that an armed citizen may have been the factor in ending the Clackamas shooting with only two deaths, a fact not reported outside of Portland. Yet, we hear about gun deaths every day making the problem seem bigger than it really is. We have only six media outlets now and each is controlled by a powerful conglomerate run by rich billionaires. Still think we have a free press?

5)TV will continue to devolve as redneck programming becomes too intellectual and we are given such great shows as Meth Lab Central, a reality show about how to make shake and bake meth, Pimp My Wife, where housewives are given slutty make overs to prepare them for their new career in prostitution when all the jobs disappear, and Celebrity Diving, which is self explanatory and unlike the first two, real. We have gone from a new golden age in TV some five years back to a stinking graveyard where good ideas go to die. Reality TV has become such a parody of itself, it's hard not to watch. Trainwrecks like Honey Boo Boo, Real Housewives and X Factor are so bad, they are almost good and thus the appeal. People can watch and say things like," At least I am not fat as Honey Boo Boo's mom," "Those Real Housewives are real bitches," or "My wife may be carrying a few pounds but at least she is not a beast like Khloe Kardashian."

4)Music will continue to suck as music executives continue to hirer the dumbest mother fuckers on the planet to judge music. Trust me, I know. This year gave us such wonders as Justin Bieber, Nikki Minaj and Chris Brown, a short list of untalented hacks on a long list of terrible music. There were a few bright spots like Adelle, Goyte, Frank Ocean and the merciful disappearance of Lady Gaga, an act I like but was so overexposed it was getting tiresome. The autotune must die along with everyone still using it. And if I see one more Rebecca Black wannabe on Youtube, I am going to puke blood.

3)Some huge disaster will happen, the media will cover it half assed and the people responsible for it will walk away scott free. Happened a zillion times this year, so this prediction seems likely. Solar storms are supposed to be bad this year so let's hope the TV show Revolution doesn't become a "how to" guide. Flu this year is at an all time high in recent memory and many scientists are warning that another pandemic will happen, most likely soon as avian flu is mixing with surprisingly regularity as the world population spins out of control. There are too many people on the planet no matter what you've read contrary to that. Whether there is an elite in control of everything or if Mother Nature decides she is just sick of us, expect a mass culling soon. Swell.

2)Jobs will continue to be outsourced, wages will continue to fall and the media will tell us for the billionth time that the recession ended in 2009 (yeah right) and that recovery is right around the corner. Things have improved slightly but not enough to matter. Until the American public get a long deserved raise, nothing will change as the middle class fades from existence. The IMF recently leaked a report that said that Iceland's method of fixing their economy is working while Europe's is failing miserably. That story was reported by no one. Again. All the while, the GOP is calling for more austerity measures so we don't turn into Greece. So, let me get this straight, you want to implement measures that we can see don't work, and the ideas that would get us out of this mess, you are not interested in. Awesome thinking there, Lindsey Graham, as on the Sunday news shows, he threatened to hold his breath until he turned blue unless we did just that. Try it. I'll wait. Republicans are in for a rough ride next year with this kind of thinking.

1)Next year will be a turning point for the American people. Will gun control be the new law of the land? Unlikely. Will gay rights, pot legalization and higher taxes on the rich move forward? Definitely. Will some celebrity say or do something so stupid it will make your head hurt? Oh yes. Will a new television program be so stupid, your IQ will drop several points just by viewing it? They are already on now. Will some politician from either side say something and then immediately regret it? Not even in question, especially if they are a Republican. The new year looms. Let us all hope it is better than 2012 because this last year was just nuts. Happy New Year y'all.