Sunday, March 17, 2013

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA

Several major stories were totally missed by the MSM this week, two of which are inexcusable. The GOP was a close second with a near non stop parade of stupidity. Let's see those runner ups.


1)Carnival cruises- It been a long time since I've seen a company this badly run. It's been at least a week, perhaps two. Hot on the heels of the PR nightmare Triumph when generators failed and the ship had a long tow back to shore with NO electricity, working toilets or food (unless onion sandwiches are your thing), comes word that not one, but two more ships have had issues. First, the Dream liner cruise was cut short when it experienced similar mechanical problems as the Triumph. Two days later, the Legend liner limped back to port due to a steering issue. WTF? As Carnival is the WalMart of the cruise industry, it appears the MBA's in charge, especially CEO Micky Arison, are cutting corners to maximize profits with the passengers safety a lesser concern. No one should be taking a Carnival Cruise ever at this point, unless you have little regard for your safety or well being. If you have one planned, Mazel Tof.

2)Jamie Dimon- Living up to his last name, this giant douche helped steer JP Morgan into a hole to the tune of over 6 billion dollars. He of course said none of it was his fault. Then some emails turned up that contradicted everything he told us, including Congress. Now if Congress had any balls they'd have him arrested for perjury, but that's as likely as the Washington Senators beating the Harlem Globetrotters. The email to an oversight body within the bank said "I approve," giving his consent to an increase in the amount of risk they could take. He also agreed to a change in the way a trading unit was being used to asses trouble, thereby masking any problems later. By doing this, JP Morgan amassed triple the size of debt they could incur, with disastrous consequences. Yet another case of the rich doing as they please with zero effects while the rest worry about police kicking in our door for the smallest of reasons.

3)WalMart- These guys have spent a lot of time and money trying to convince people that low wages are good for everyone, their workers are happy and productive, and sales this Holiday seasons were record breakers. All bunk. They had a great Black Friday as people hunted for bargains. Every day after that: just awful. As a matter of fact, internal emails say it was the worst season in a decade as customers fled the stores in droves. The reason? No one has any money because retailers like WalMart refuse to pay a livable wage to its workers which is driving them out of the market to buy their stuff. This is economics 101 and no one with an MBA gets it. It is not that they can't afford to pay their workers more. They don't want to.

4)Steve Katz- This hypocrite is an Assemblyman in Westchester, NY who has voted non stop on every single marijuana measure brought before him. After being stopped for speeding, he was found to be in possession of a small bag of pot. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is the same ass who had been arrested twice for mishandling dogs in his vet practice, both dismissed. I hate him.

5)The Steubenville Rapists- This week, Trent Mays and Ma'lik Richmond were both found guilty of raping an unconscious girl during a drunken party and filming some of it. This is one of those rare cases were there is good reason to believe this girl was indeed raped and not a he said/she said kind of thing. There were numerous eyewitnesses, video and photo evidence and DNA. Hope you like prison guys because rape might be in your future as well, one that is now ruined. Like your soon to be ex-virgin asshole. Because they were tried as juveniles they will be released by the time they are 21 which is still a few years in hell. Enjoy.


6)North Korea- This week Kim Jung Un "ended" the armistice between the US and North Korea that ended the war in 1953, fired a bunch of rockets into the ocean during military exercises, and displayed military hardware, like the rocket launchers armed with a nuclear warhead that could easily reach Hawaii or Alaska, scaring the piss out of the intelligence community, caught flat footed once again. Sec. of Defense, Chuck Hagel, immediately went into action prescribing things that will take billions of dollars and years to implement, like installing dubious anti-nuke missiles that are supposed to be able to take them down. However, if the North Koreans possess the same Russian maneuverability programs that allow the trajectory to change mid flight, these are useless. This is getting out of hand fast and the smallest miscalculation could lead to a nuclear war.

7)Iran- Not to be outdone on the Armageddon scale of stupid things to do, Iran has launched Navy vessels into the Persian Gulf with a stern warning for Obama to "go home." Bad news guys, that's not going to happen. They claim to be a year away from a nuke which has worked so well in North Korea. One of the dumbest things we ever did was allow North Korea to get one, now many, that have completely destabilized the area. Imagine that in the Middle East which are so much more refined and calm than the Pacific Rim. Excuse me while I roll my eyes. Yet another place where things could go bad fast.

8)Barack Obama- Behind closed doors he has been caught speaking out of both side of his mouth, something I hate when politicians do. To the GOP he has signaled he would like to put the Chained CPI index into effect, a move that will obliterate the middle class and the elderly with higher taxes, an inflation rate that is even more disingenuous than the one we see now and less money for all future SS recipients, like they are living high on the hog now. Imagine in ten years, getting $800 instead of $1100 while prices continue to rise exponentially. The good news is I am not sure how serious he is about this as he told the Democrats that they needn't worry as the GOP is showing little signs if compromise on anything. This could be a ploy to get the GOP in the room and then say later, my side won't agree to these cuts, what can we do instead. Or he could be that dumb to think this is good idea. Only time will tell.

9)India- Yet another woman was raped in India this week, this time a Swiss Tourist making this the go to destination for anyone with a serious rape fantasy. What is going on over there? Have the men completely turned into savages? Mark this as the last place on Earth I want to visit.

10)Republicans- Holy God, it was a razors edge separating these bunch of buffoons from the number one spot. Between Paul Ryan's budget plan that was laughed away by anyone with a brain, including Fox News, and the CPAC non stop parade of morons was a true spectacle of utter garbage. Here it was in a nutshell with what they said and what they meant.

We support the troops.  Until they come home and need welfare, food stamps, medical treatment, Social Security and Medicare.

We want to be all inclusive to gays, immigrants and minorities. Unless you are actually gay, an immigrant or a minority.

We want to protect the middle class. By destroying it along.

We want to protect Medicare, Social Security and Medicade. See above.

We want to stop being the party of stupid. By acting like utter retards 90% of the time.

This went on for days. Take Allen West saying this deranged nonsense:

I’m speaking from experience when I tell you that there is nothing on this green earth that a liberal progressive fears more than a black American who wants a better life and a smaller government,” West said, before unwisely drawing a comparing from the Obama administration to the Civil War, the Great Depression, and Nazi Germany. Right.

Brietbart editor Ben Shapiro started doing unintentional stand up this week when he declared on Fox News that the reason Romney didn't win was he didn't criticize Obama enough. Please. This is what makes Brietbart the towering achievement in news reporting it was become right along side World Net Daily, Weekly World News and the Weekly Shopper I get in my mail box once a week.

Texas representative Louie Gohmert gave a "history lesson at CPAC this week with this bon mot:

I’m not going to debate the merits of whether we should or should not have gone to Vietnam, but what I will tell you is, Vietnam was winnable, but people in Washington decided we would not win it!”

“You stupid Americans,” Gohmert claims the Vietcong said at the time. “Don’t you know, if you had bombed us for one more week, we would’ve had to surrender unconditionally?”

That last part of course, was said by absolutely no one except maybe the voices that live within Gohmert's head. Vietnam was winnable but only by bringing the fight to China which would have started a World War and let's face it, Vietnam was not worth that. This guy is a moron. He also went on to blame Jimmy Carter for every bad thing that has happened. And they accuse the left of going back as far as W for all the economic problems which were after all, all his fault? You bet. No logic here.

Sarah Palin gave a speech that was literally a stand up act with nothing other than bad one liners. Here's some of them:

They talk about rebuilding the party. How about rebuilding the middle class?"
"They talk about rebuilding the GOP? How about restoring the trust of the people?"
"Let's be clear about one thing: We're not here to rebrand a party. We're here to rebuild a country."
"Barack Obama promised the most transparent administration ever. Barack Obama, you lie!"
"Mr. President, we admit it: You won! Now accept it and step away from the teleprompter and do your job."
"Remember no-drama Obama? Now it's all-drama Obama."
"More background checks? Dandy idea, Mr. President. Shoulda started with yours."
"[Obama] is considered a good politician—which is like saying Bernie Madoff was a good salesman."
"We're not here to put a fresh coat of rhetorical paint on our party."
"If you don't have a lobbyist in DC, you are not at the table, you are on the menu."
"Never before have our challenges been so big, and our leaders so small."
"My only advice to College Republicans is: You gotta be thinking Sam Adams, not drinking Sam Adams."

That's the speech. She also took some shots at Mayor Bloomberg and a crack about her breasts. The closest she came to anything resembling a fact was when she rightfully said wages are decreasing as we work longer hours. That's it.

The big winner was right wing nut job Erik Rush who was on Alan Combs show this week saying that Obama was a Marxist dictator who was planning to cancel the next election and name himself king. Nevermind the fact he zero evidence to back any of that up, when asked how likely it was to happen, he responded "fifty percent," which coincidentally is his IQ score.

This is just a smattering of the dumb things Republicans did this week like Bill O'Reilly challenging guest Alan Combs to name one program Obama offered to cut. When he accurately stated Medicare and SS, O'Reilly bizarrely said those aren't government programs. This is the problem with Republicans, even when they are totally wrong, they still think they are right.

11)MSM- This week the major networks, newspapers and even Internet sites missed two of the biggest stories of the week. The first was when a riot broke out in Brooklyn that was so bad martial law was declared by the NYPD. The only places that carried this story at all were local Internet sites and international news groups like Al Jazzera and RT. How is it a riot can break out in a major city and not one newspaper or TV news program mentions it? The whole thing started when a black teen was shot by police, and reports are still sketchy whether he had a gun or not. A riot broke out soon after and 46 people were arrested. The tension simmered for at least three days as the low level riot raged on, resulting in martial law being declared. News crews were kept out of the area but that still doesn't explain why it wasn't even mentioned. Are the powers that be worried about a contagion effect? Speaking of which, the other major story that started on Friday is just being reported to today in some major media outlets, including Bloomberg and Forbes, about the projected bank run about to happen in Cyprus tomorrow. The EU unilaterally has decided to tax all depositors at every bank a rate of 6 to 10% of their accounts. The government itself has not voted on this making many fear the EU has now total control over all banking sectors within their bloc, beyond the reach of local governments and subject to wild ideas. This is leading to a contagion effect that may lead many across the EU to remove money from their accounts. There are many possibilities to this, more of which I will get to in a later column. But the point is, this affects investors in this country and perhaps even our banking system. This is news that should have been mentioned on Friday when it was announced. But that is the media today for you. Worthless. So congratulations MSM you are indeed douchebag of the week.


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