Sunday, March 12, 2017

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: TRUMPCARE!

Republicans revealed their long awaited health care plan and, no big surprise here, is a giant pile of shit that will literally kill millions of people. Anyone who supports this pile of garbage must be forced to wear Nazi memorabilia for their rest of their lives as punishment for rank stupidity. It ends Medicaid, destroys Planned Parenthood and, sooner than later, collapses the entire system as prices skyrocket out of control. Unless you have millions of dollars and can pay for your own care (not to mention the huge tax break you will get), everyone else get screwed. EVERYONE! Let's see those runner ups as the world looks to be ready to end any minute now.
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10)Winter- Is it Spring yet? IS IT? Apparently not as a blizzard is headed for NE, our second of the season, which is still better than the year we had three in one week. To be fair, this has been a mild winter up until March started and acted like it was just turning February. Yeah, our weather is normal. Except it isn't. Climate change is real people and a pox on every idiot who keeps telling us some old newspaper article from 2000 saying winters were a thing of the past. We get less snow in NE than we used to most winters now and this blizzard coming is not going to change that. There is a difference between weather and climate people.

9)The Statue of Liberty- Sensing that this country is toast, Lady Liberty decided she had had enough and turned her lights off. The real reason was they are doing work on the lightning system damaged by hurricane Sandy but the fact it happened right before the day without women day cannot be looked at without some degree of irony.

8)Anti-Islamic views- I get why people don't like Muslims as their worst keep keep killing people with gay abandon. I really wish people from Muslim countries would rise up and eliminate this scourge themselves, something they do have the ability to do and for whatever reason, don't. However, it is because of constant attacks at home and abroad, along with a EU migration program that borders on suicidal, that anger against Muslims are rising and that is not good for anyone. In Holland, Geert Wilders' party is set to make huge gains in upcoming elections. This has stoked anger between Turkey and the Netherlands, resulting in an escalating war of words between the two countries, resulting in the uber-liberal country not allowing Turkish ministers to speak at a rally, an action the Turkish PM called fascist. This same attitudes are propelling Marine La Pen to a run off in France (and to which she will most likley lose) and dropping numbers for Merkel in Germany. This is one of the biggest threats to mankind right now as if we keep heading this way, there is no way genocide won't happen if we go to war. Both sides need to cool down.
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7)Mike Flynn- Speaking of Turkey, another bombshell from the Trump administration appeared that showed that Flynn was working as a foreign agent for Turkish interests when he accepted the post for Trump, even though he never registered as a foreign agent as he is required by law to do. How bad was this idiot at his job? And even worse, Trump knew and didn't care. Why let a little thing like committing a crime stop your chances from being a top spy in the country right?

6)Boston St. Patrick's Day Parade- Nothing makes me angrier than watching someone make a mistake that was so obvious it could have been seen form space. This week, ignoring the mountains of evidence that results when you idiotically ban a gay group from something for the pettiest of reasons, the council that controls the Boston parade voted 9-4 to ban a gay group from marching this year. They said it wasn't because they were gay, but because they had a small rainbow insignia sewn onto the uniforms. Right. The outcry was immediate, overwhelming, and fucking obviously going to happen. Has no one watched a news cast at all for the last decade? After sponsors, political figures and public opinion reared  their heads, the council hastily retreated and changed their policy and now everyone is happy. But why do this at all unless you a total and complete retard.

5)Trump St. Patrick Day Hats- In another fuck up on my holiday, Trump made a major faux pas when his hats had a four leaf clover, which is not Irish, instead of the Shamrock, which is. Once noticed they got rid of the hats but is it so hard to Google something before doing it guys? Luckily, we Irish didn't bitch to high heaven about it because we have lives and aren't giant pussies. Had this affected pretty much any other group, there would have been hurt feelings and fake tears and a public apology. We just want a beer and to go about our lives.
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4)Paul Ryan- This ass is going to get killed. In his insane desire to get a health care plan passed, he came up with one that is almost certainly not going to pass. Worse, his constituents are furious with him over this to such an extent that he has hidden himself away, no longer taking phone calls or faxes. So some people are sending postcards to his house instead. That's funny. What isn't is this ass is literally trying to kill millions. Remember that in 2018 because any asshole voting for this dick deserves a punch in the face, Many punches to the face.

3)South Korea President Park Geun-hye- The South Korean president was ousted this week for corruption charges resulting in protest that left three people dead. Yikes. However 70% of the country supported her ouster, further demonstrating that stupidity is world wide as this woman definitely did what she is being accused of. How dumb is that 30% who can't accept reality. Here we call them Trump supporters.

2)North Korea- If we don;t go to war with some Muslim country, this is the next most likely candidate and twice as dangerous. Their escalation toward an ICBM is troubling and the fact that studies suggest they have as many as 20 mini nukes is not cool. With Orange Hitler in office, chances for a miscalculation from one side or the other is higher than it should be. This is a conflict that could go full on nuclear and end all life on the planet. How does that sit with you?
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1)Trumpcare- This bill sucks. Anyone supporting this should be shot and if it passes, probably will. Not that that is too likely at this point as everyone seems to hate it regardless of party. The left says it will kill people and the right says not enough people will die. They don't seem to understand how insurance works and are actively trying to kill it. The GOP actually said that they don't think the healthy should subsidize the sick, which is exactly how health insurance works. They want to end Medicaid, which will kill many. What do Republicans think will happen when all these people do start dying? Do they think that crazy, over armed Americans are just going to suck it up? No, they are going to burn your homes to the ground with you and your family in it. So congratulations Republicans you are indeed douchebag of the week. If this does somehow pass, I suggest making yourself scarce because you will be shot by angry mobs avenging the deaths of their loved ones.

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