Wednesday, December 31, 2014

PREDICTIONS FOR 2015

According to some polls, 2015 is expected to be better than 2014. I don't what they are smoking but it sounds awesome. 2014 was pretty bad and thanks to our beyond stupid voters, next year is going to be far, far worse. The new budget passed is a monstrosity, banks and housing have now gone back to all the exact some things that sunk us in 2008, and health care costs are still soaring, despite what Obamacare was supposed to accomplish but was never going to, as anyone with a brain already knew. It's better than what we had, but it still sucks compared to what the rest of the world has. So let us postulate what 2015 will look like.

1)Here's a gimme: Republicans and Democrats will accomplish nothing. If you thought they were bad these last few years, wait for what is about to happen. I predict Obama will be using his veto pen so often it will run out of ink. We will get the inevitable run-up for the next Bush/Clinton match-up to which I will physically puke blood and vow to piss on anyone who says they are voting for either of these morons. Talk about a two headed coin. The American people bitch about nothing getting accomplished and then send the exact same moron back to office to continue to screw up. What asshole voted for John Boehner or Mitch McConnell? Really stupid people who should NEVER vote again as I have known mentally challenged people with more common sense than these mouth breathers.

2)A grand jury will be presented with video evidence of a cop killing another black man for no reason, accompanied by DNA, testimony from the cop's mother condemning him and a signed confession and they will still let him go. I also predict a lot more cop shootings if these assholes don't calm the fuck down. Pat Lynch will win the Bullshit of the Year award for his unbelievable nonsense about Bill DeBlasio, claiming of course that the mayor is in fact a North Korean spy and is currently trying to sell Manhattan to the Russians. He will get for this, a raise and a promotion. NYPD will greatly improve their accuracy on the firing range after a new training program, to which they now only miss perps from six feet of less 42% of the time, an improvement of two whole percentage points.

3)Kim Kardashian, Nikki Minaj and Iggy Azalea will appear together on stage and create a new black hole from the density of their asses. When did gigantic asses become hot? I've seen less jiggle in a bowl of jello on a trampoline. All three are talentless hacks as well.

4)SNL will actually have an entire episode be funny signaling the Apocalypse has arrived. How is it possible for this season to actually be worse than last year when the two new cast members, Pete Davidson and Leslie Jones, are really funny? Can we please fire head writer Colin Jost already? He kind of sucks and even Michael Che is at best so-so. When you miss people like Brad Hall and Charles Rocket you know you've gone off the rails.

5)Kim Jong Un will attack Disneyworld for the song "It's a Small World After All" claiming the song is a slight at his height. They will of course hack into the Disney website and discover there's actually not much worth stealing in the first place. They will steal some Frozen dolls as a compensation package.

6)Banks will decide that bail-ins and zero interest rates are not enough and will demand depositors first born when things go belly up. Our zombified public will agree will no hesitation. Congress will pass a law giving banks title to the White House, the Smithsonian and 1000 acres of Wyoming just cause.

7)Global Warming will accelerate driving temperatures into the 100's for months, made worse by the fact that it is November. The deniers will claim the heat wave is a part of a natural cycle and then offer proof of a single snow storm in Alaska at the height of winter which in their minds negates the whole thing. When scientists show their studies to Congress proving the warming is real, the Republicans will put their fingers in their ears and sing "La la la, I can't hear you."

8)Oil Fracking will cause Fargo, North Dakota to be leveled by a 9.7 earthquake that will be felt in Guam. Detractors will say the earthquake was caused by a herd of elk spooked by a backfiring car, to which the far right will agree with and list it as the official cause. Seismologists everywhere die under mysterious circumstances soon after.

9)Unemployment will continue to decline as homelessness soars. Under our next President Hilllabush, unemployment will be zero as there won't be any jobs to worry about next to the smoking crater that was once this great nation.

10)The antichrist will arise and it will turn out to be Lindsey Lohan of all people. After most of the politicians die in bizarre boating accident, Lohan is elected President by a group of people whose collective IQ is 12. She proceeds to wage war on Putin for slighting her at the latest G-20 summit, causing nuclear, catastrophic destruction. Her final words will be, "how do my tits look?"

Monday, December 29, 2014

BEST AND WORST TV MOMENTS OF 2014

If you were anything but network TV, you had a banner year. However, if you were one of the Big Five, then other than a handful of shows, it was pretty desolate. The best of network TV included only one new show, Scorpion, and three older ones, Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn 99, Supernatural and Marvel Agents of Shield and none of those were good enough to crack my top five which contains exactly one network show and it was an ancient reality show now banished to Fridays. The worst list is understandably chock full of network losers, particularly for NBC which had an awful year.

BEST OF TV 2014

5)BBC- Two of favorite shows this year from England had to be Sherlock and Dr. Who. The funny part is that while I am a huge fan of Sherlock I could give or take Dr. Who for the most part. But the addition of Peter Capaldi as the new doctor has added real relevance to the part and Jenna Coleman shines as his companion. The Christmas episode, a combination of Alien and the Thing (with good reason it turns out) was scary, funny and, somehow, Christmassy, thanks to Nick Frost's excellent turn as Santa. Sherlock Holmes continues to glow bright as Benedict Cumberbatch makes one of the best versions of the sleuth ever. The wedding episode The Vow was one of the funniest things on any network this year. Martin Freeman was in two shows on this list as well, only hampered by a terrible turn on SNL that was the writers fault, but did contain one of the few bright spots in a bad year with the very funny Office: Middle Earth sketch. Come on BBC, bring us Mrs. Brown's Boys already.

4)Reality shows- There were two great reality shows, both game oriented, The Amazing Race and @Midnight. Amazing Race has been on for what seems like forever, but unlike Survivor which got boring decades ago, it has still remained fresh, exciting and even when they return to the same countries, they do different things and go to new places. I love this show. The mock game show @Midnight has been a laugh riot thanks to Chris Hardwick who also hosts the unbelievably interesting post Walking Dead talker, Talking Dead. Other networks have attempted to do similar things, like a Sons of Anarchy post show, but was dragged down by a host who got fired after the second outing. Ouch! @Midnight has been one of the most consistently funny shows of the year with my favorite parts being cringe worthy, rapid refresh and various strange Craigslist ads. Keep up the good work guys. I need a good laugh every night.

3)Cable Dramas- If you wanted excellent dramas, cable had the best. Game of Thrones was awesome this year with the standout episode being (SPOILER ALERT) the death of King Joffrey and the subsequent trial of Tyrion Lannister. My favorite moment was Ayla standing over the Hound and deciding not to kill him but to let him suffer a horribly painful, and very slow death. Fargo broke all the rules and became a stand out show again demonstrating why Martin Freeman is a much sought after actor. The tracking shot of Lorne Malvo's killing rampage seen only from the outside of the building, accompanied by crashes and screams was one of my favorite moments from any TV show. Allison Tolman had a break out year as cop Molly Solverson and I look forward to seeing her in other things as well. Walking Dead continues to amaze and break records for viewers who watch live as people HAVE to know what happens next. The best episode by far was the one with (SPOILER ALERT AGAIN) Carol kills Lizzie, a stunner and was reminiscent of Of Mice And Men. The escape from Terminus and Beth's senseless death were also incredible. The best cable drama was Sons of Anarchy which ended it's seven year run with a bang as a lot of people got killed, some survived you didn't expect (Tig I am looking at you) and ended the way it should have, unlike say Dexter or the Sopranos.

2)Comedy Central Sketch Comedy- These guys are on fire this year with three hysterical shows, Inside Amy Schumer, Key and Peele and Drunk History. Notice that so far they have four shows, and one more to come, in my best of list which means they by and far the best network on TV right now. Amy Schumer's show is biting humor with her best being her Call of Duty sketch which had her pick a female avatar who instead of fighting, gets raped instead and then fights military bureaucracy to get her assailant arrested. The fact it wasn't funny at all (rape isn't funny) made this one of my favorite sketches from anyone this year. Key and Peele continue to show that being black doesn't mean being racist toward white people is funny (although to be fair both of them are half white). They skewer everyone equally and it never comes across as mean or ugly. The sketch of a "live" dance show, where one of the dancers finds out his wife and kids are dead and the guy dancing next to him did it was a classic bit. Drunk History continues to amaze as they combine binge drinking and actual history as a drunken narrator overlays famous people acting out a historical story that a person is saying, puking, mumbling or whatever. Any way you look at it, it's funny.

1)Comedy News shows- No one did better this year than Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart and John Oliver. And while he doesn't necessarily fit into this category, Jimmy Fallon knocked it out of the park this year with his new Tonight Show routines that have brightened it up immensely. The first episode which had celebrities paying him $100 was a classic bit Carson would have been proud of. Conan O'Brian was not missed here. Colbert said good bye to his show which I will admit I thought was hit or miss and found his character a litter overbearing and his interview style off putting. But he did have some great moments this year and a lot of people will miss him until he appears soon on CBS as Letterman's replacement. Jon Stewart continues to light up the 11 O'clock spot night after night with spot on commentary and some of the best news on TV in general which is kind of sad when you think about it. But no one, and I mean NO ONE, was as funny, informative and must see TV this year as John Oliver's new show Last Week Tonight which has invented a new form of TV, investigative comedy, which is kind of what I do here. His topics ranged from Net Neutrality, to Ferguson to the Miss America pageant and always came out on top with better news than anyone else. News networks should take a clue from this and maybe, just maybe, do their freaking jobs because Oliver is making you all look bad. He was by and far the best TV of 2014.

WORST OF 2014

5)Remakes- There were two awful remakes this year: Gracepoint and Rosemary's Baby. The former was almost a shot for shot remake of the far superior original that was so boring I haven't even watched the last two episodes yet. David Tennant, who shone in the original, barely registers here and supports of dubious American accent at best. Allegedly they changed the killer at the end, but as the rest of the show was a carbon copy of the original, nobody cared and ratings for this turkey tanked. Rosemary's Baby was every bit as bad, moving the location to Paris and then doing nothing with it. Zoe Saldana has never been this bad and her husband played blandly by Suits star Patrick J Adams, barely registers at all. This dragged on for four hours over two nights and it seemed to go on for a lot longer than that. Watch the original for either for a much better time and forget these clones even exist.

4)Sci-fi- Two science fiction shows stumbled badly this year, Extant and Ascension. Extant was even more puzzling as Academy Award winner Halle Berry was in it and had a great premise: an astronaut comes back from a solo mission pregnant. There were so many places to go with this and instead saddled her with a creepy robot kid straight out of the far superior AI and terrible sub characters like Camryn Manheim and Gorin Visnjic, who seemed to be in a different show altogether. Ascension turned another promising story, JFK sends people into space should the world be destroyed and turns it into a slog of a soap opera. Sci-fi fans deserve better than these two.

3)Reality Shows- There were a lot of bad reality shows this year. X Factor finally went away after three dismal seasons, and now comes word that it may come back.WTF? WHY? Wasn't three seasons enough? Fox also gave us Utopia, which cost $50 million and died a painful death and I Wanna Marry Harry, a piss poor dating show that sank after four episodes. Cable did no better with Duck Dynasty on it's last legs, the sinking rating of any of the Kardashian shows (seriously who is watching these idiots) and the thankful cancelation of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo after Mama June started dating a convicted child molester. There are so many of these shows that I have neither the time nor patience to list them all. Turn on E! on any given night and chances are one of them should be one here.

2)NBC comedies- Remember when NBC had the greatest comedies of all time. Shows like Cheers, Family Ties, Wings, Seinfeld, hell even Golden Girls was better than what they have on now. Bad Judge and From A to Z, both of which I correctly predicted wouldn't last long, didn't and they seem to have few prospects on the horizon other than one sitcom from last summer I absolutely loved, Undateable. They tried to get Bill Cosby back but after his raping past came back to haunt him, NBC was forced to give the comic $10 million for his pay or play deal. That was money well spent. Apparently they learned nothing from the Michael J. Fox debacle from last season that also cost them a fortune. One of the biggest disappointments this year has been SNL which has suffered from seriously questionable cast additions. Four of the six new people from last year got axed and two veterans left for greener pastures. This year saw the addition of Leslie Jones, who is the only bright spot even if she did flub a sketch with Chris Rock, with her Weekend Update routines some of the funniest of the year. Colin Jost has been an absolute flop in the anchor chair and is in my opinion, the worst ever. Michael Che is okay, but the stale writing and complete lack of chemistry with Jost is palpable and is making what was once the best moments a chore now to get through. Hosts like Chris Rock, Sarah Silverman and Martin Freeman were all betrayed by sub par writing and even the Christmas episode was lacking this year for the first time in eons. Also, can we stop with the flavor of the day bands and get some people on there who can actually play. We have been subjected to One Direction, Iggy Azalea, and Charlie XCX, not to mention a host of even more forgettable acts. People who watch SNL are not 12. This show needs a lot of work and some firings to get things back to the way they should be.

1)Voice Over comedies- I HATE voice overs. As someone who has written screenplays and for television the number one thing that you shouldn't do is a voice over. It is a lazy way to move the story along and while it works on rare occasions like Fight Club or Dexter, most of the time it's just bad writing. And three shows this year overdid this something fierce. The first cancelled sitcom (as I predicted) Manhattan Love Story did this ad naseum to such an extent you wanted someone to hit mute to get some blessed silence. Selfie, which had two very good actors, was written so poorly that I wanted to smack John Cho and Karen Gillian for doing this drek. The worst of the worst this year is the beyond racist show Blackish which also managed to have an awful voice over constantly and combine that with the buffoon dad that was old a decade ago. How is making fun of white people funny? Why is this not as racist as black face is for black people? No one I know from any age group liked this show and a lot of people were pissed at it. Even my black friends concede it is a little racist. As if race relations are not bad enough. The fact that critics love this show say how out of touch people who review things are with the regular public. Congratulations Blackish you are the worst show of 2014.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR: DICK CHENEY, GEORGE BUSH AND ANYONE ELSE CONNECTED WITH THE TORTURE SCANDAL

It's been a weird year. People finally stood up and said enough to our out of control police force while completely ignoring the fact that our government failed to prosecute anyone of any importance, not just black people. We lost several planes, including another one in Indonesia just yesterday. The movie studios continued to put out terrible films, and some great genre ones, all the while cowering over a North Korean attack that was never going to happen. Several world leaders went publically insane, as well as a voting block here that now has Jeb Bush at the top of the heap for the Republicans while Democrats fight for Hillary. What is wrong with the world? Let's see those runner ups in a really douchebag filled year.
151885 600 Ebola and friends cartoons
12)Ebola/CDC- No disease was more misunderstood and overblown than this one. People panicked that Ebola was going to spread across the nation even though there was little chance of that. Of course none of this was helped by a press blowing this way out of proportion, a CDC that has done one inept thing after another this year, like sending deadly flu virus samples through the mail, infecting their own people with anthrax and Ebola, and even finding a sample of smallpox in an unguarded store room. Nurse Kaci Hickox didn't help by refusing to self quarantine causing a panic and her eventual move from her home due to death threats. And Texas Presbyterian was responsible for more fear than anyone by letting a person actually infected with Ebola leave the hospital and later infect two nurses who lacked proper training and equipment. If a plague ever hits, we can safely say, we are all dead in days because these ass clowns have no idea what they are doing.

11)Bill Cosby/Stephen Collins- Two of America's best loved father figures plummeted to Earth with the former being accused of drugging and raping dozens of women over the years while the later confessed to being a child molester. Good times. Both had their shows pulled from the air and have little chance of salvaging what was once a fantastic career. Of the two, I am even madder at Bill Cosby because black people have so few role models to begin with and this ass just took one of their best ones away because he can't keep his dick out of sleeping women. Rot in hell, Bill.
10)Muslims extremists- ISIS made headlines this year by beheading Westerners, regardless if they were Muslim or not, while a deranged psychopath took hostages recently at a chocolate shop in Australia. Meanwhile, a bloody war was fought between Israel and the Gaza Strip because God forbid either side wants peace, and the Palestinians sure as hell do not want to recognize Israel which would of course solve everything. The Sultan of Brunei single handedly killed the famous Beverly Hills hotel when he enacted strict anti-gay legislation in his country, causing a boycott that still goes on today. Word is ISIS wants the pope dead, which if it ever occurred, would result in the genocide of Muslim people everywhere and WW3. Keep it up guys. If you looking at new ways to end the world, that one's a doozy

9)The world economy- As of this writing, Japan's economy appears to be in freefall. Wages are plunging, sales have flat lined and their stock market has not done well this year. They have responded by their own version of QE infinity, only this one is far, far more lucrative, resulting in $15 billion a day, whereas ours was $85 billion a month at its peak. The PM there, Shinzo Abe, recently won re-election in a vote that few showed up for as the alternative was just as bad. I feel your pain as 2016 is shaping up to be the worst election of all times. Much like here, no has any money so no one is buying anything, yet they feel that doing the exact same thing that hasn't worked ever will work this time. Insanity. Meanwhile, Russia, Venezuela and Iran and collapsing due to falling oil prices, Greece is in the red only because they are not paying their bills, and the US government tells us our GDP rose by 5% last month, solely due to stock buybacks and Obamacare. 2015 is going to be another roller coaster.
8) World Leaders- Several leaders went nuts this year. Vladimir Putin seems to think it's 1950 and almost is double dog daring the West to attack. Recep Erdogan is trying to be the next Sultan of Turkey and actually jailed a teen who insulted him. Really? He also said women should stay home and make babies all the while building a palace that would make Versailles blush. The worst of the bunch was Kim Jong Un who had several temper tantrums this year, the latest of which was a cyber attack on Sony and threats over a very silly, but very funny movie, The Interview. These guys are going to get us all killed.

7)Sony/movie studios/movie theaters- Where to start with these abject morons? Drunken monkeys could have made better decisions than what these guys did this year. Studios in general put out a lot of crap this year in TV and film that never should have left the printed page. What idiot read Sex Tape or the Robocop remake and said "this sounds good. Let's film this." Reality TV died a painful death when expensive flops like Utopia went south quick, Honey Boo Boo's mom started dating a child molester (not Stephen Collins) which ended that series stat, and Duck Dynasty ratings plummeted when people found out what racist, homophobic douchebags they really were. Harvey Weinstein was such a dick he sent one of the best movies of the year, Snowpiercer, to theater Siberia (eight whole theaters showed this masterpiece) because the director correctly said he wouldn't cut 20 minutes from the film, which having seen it, was not possible. So this ass munch made far less money, as much as 50 million dollars, than he should have just cause someone told him no and he had a hissy fit over it. Who does he think he is, Kim Jong Un? This type of attitude is rampant apparently as leaked emails from Sony show a junior high mentality from people running multi-national, multi-billion dollar companies. I could do a better job for half the pay. The worst of the bunch were movie theaters that refused to show the Interview after North Korea made a baseless threat that they have been making for sixty years now. Sony didn't help by looking every bit as cowardly as the theaters, but they at least grew a pair and eventually out the film out, while the big chains are still wearing their diapers. Way to act like an American, not to mention the massive profits you guys missed out on.
6)NYPD/Cops- The American public have finally looked at the militarization of our police force and screamed enough. And while the Mike Brown case seemed to be a justified shooting, the Tamir Rice and Eric Gardner case were far less so. Gardner's case was caught on tape and they still found for no charges from the cop who killed him. Local police across this country have come under intense scrutiny for killing unarmed people in New Mexico and South Carolina resulting in charges being brought or even Justice Department investigations. Newspapers found forfeiture laws being used like brigands to steal from average people as well as the fact that SWAT team attacks have increased by 1000% of the last few decades. No one was as bad as the NYPD, and that absolute loon Pat Lynch, who this week said his police force would no longer respond to the mayor, in what most places would be described as a coup. The NYPD this year led the nation in accidental shootings as nobody on the force seems to be able to hit the broad side of a barn and have wounded and killed more innocent people than any other police force on Earth. This group needs body cameras stat.

5)Grand Juries/Justice Department/Supreme Court- This year we say first hand how ineffective both of these things are, with grand juries refusing to indict cops caught on camera killing people while the Justice Department made a mockery of what they are supposed to be doing. Eric Holder has been another loser in a long line of AG's going back at least forty years, strongly suggesting we should eliminate this position. No prosecutions of anything or anyone of importance no matter how obvious it was. Banks did illegal stuff? A slap on the wrist. Rich people stole money? A wink and a nod. Medical pot? Confusion. How hard is it to follow the laws we have on the books. And then we have grand juries, or secret trials, where all the evidence is behind closed doors as perps are sent to trial 99% of the time while police in trouble as the exact opposite. Our justice system is dead. The worst of the worst was the Supreme Court who have made one bone headed decision after another, opening the flood gates for even more money in politics, removing barriers from abortion clinics so screaming idiots can "talk" to people who just want to be left alone in a very personal choice that is none of their business and is actually against what is said in the Bible they supposed revere and said corporations can be religious. These guys, both liberal and conservative, have been terrible and should all be removed from office.
4)MSM- Last night, around 3 AM said it all. CNN was breathlessly hyperventilating over yet another missing plane. Fox news has a special about a War on Christians which could have been filmed at any point in human history as Muslims, Jews and Christians have been fighting forever. And, of course, MSNBC had Lock Up on as they always do. The MSM missed every major story this year, with this blog beating all of them by days, weeks or even months, until they woke up and realized what was going on. Economics was the worst as they echoed whatever the government told them and then buried the inevitable retraction on page D7, under the ad for Smegals' furniture, a happy birthday for some octogenarian, and a puff piece about a little girl's campaign to end world hunger. Print news did no better with Rolling Stone falling Journalism 101 in their fake rape story, a travesty of writing. The media is lying to you. Accept it and take everything they say with a grain of salt.

3)The American Public- We are a particularly stupid people. Black people made everything about race from the First Lady complaining about a short, somewhat clueless white woman, asking for her help getting something down from a shelf at Target, to Whoopie Goldberg's assertion that only black people know what racism really is. They refused to see that Mike Brown may have been shot due to his own ignorance and have completely left the station when it comes to the acknowledgement that a majority of crimes in this country are committed by black people even though they make up only 13% of the population. White people fared no better by voting in a Republican majority, even though they have publically stated they want to strip the average person of things like unemployment insurance, Medicare, Social Security, unions, and a fair wage. Hell, some want to make people work weekends for no extra pay. Sure the democrats sucked this year, but good Lord, way to vote yourself into an early grave. We are a dumb, dumb people that can't name all three branches of government, yet know all the Kardashians by name. We are so screwed. The worst of the bunch were also mostly white, conspiracy theorists who came up with some real humdingers. We are still hearing about the missing planes over the Indian Ocean, the plane shot down over Ukraine, the Sony hack attack and a zillion other notions that were laughably stupid. The winner hands down was the morons who are now suing the Federal Government for, and I swear this is true, one trillion dollars for "lying" about the Newtown shooting which they still swear didn't happen. Nevermind the fact that, even according to them, hundreds of people would have had to have been involved, and as no one has come forward yet to verify it, seems more farfetched then a unicorn hunt. Same goes for climate change deniers that continue to use questionable data to fuel their skepticism even though the effects can be seen with the naked eye.
2)Politicians- Both sides sucked this year and it showed. Democrats made the entire election about one thing: abortion and, as a result, paid for it dearly at the voting booths, getting shellacked in November. Republicans now have a bigger majority than almost ever before and that is solely because Democrats ran horrifically bad candidates than ran away from Obama at every turn, which didn't help at all. Obama waited until after November to actually do anything that people liked, which is the most bizarre campaign strategy I have ever seen. He has signed some legislation that is questionable at best, including things like increasing radiation and arsenic in our water, bank blowjob bills and other corporate giveaways that will do nothing to help an ailing country. The Republicans waited all of five minutes after winning before declaring war on the president which sent them running home with their tail between their legs as they have no alternative to the immigration plan Obama signed an executive order on. The public said loud and clear they want a raise and less money in politics, which they promptly ignored. Lindsey Graham lost his mind and has become quite the warmonger, wanting war with Russia, North Korea and, I think, Santa, after he didn't get his My Little Pony toy he asked for this Christmas. Both sides conspired to pass the worst spending bill in human history, a fact that will come back to bite us in the ass over the next year. These guys suck and the fact that Bush/Clinton seem to be in the cards for 2016 says how bad things are going to get.
1)Dick Cheney, George Bush, CIA and others involved in torture- If I was Bush, I would be telling Cheney to shut the fuck up already. Darth Cheney made the rounds telling anyone who would listen that of course Bush knew about the torture program which means if charges are ever filed, he may have just put W. in the electric chair right next to him. The penalty for torture is death and that is what we did to many Germans and Japanese after WW2 for doing the EXACT same things they did which cost them their lives. These assholes committed war crimes according to the Geneva Convention and charges are pending against them, as well as a lawsuit recently filed by Amnesty International for crimes against humanity, which Cheney has publically confessed to. If this ever goes to trial, those words are going to come back to haunt him. It is sad that a majority of suckers in this country agree with him, because the information we got from this program was worthless and at least 26 innocent people were tortured as well. How is that okay? Jack Bauer is one thing. Torturing someone who you think may have info you need is not. The fact the his brother Jeb is at the head of the pack for 2016 shows how bad our short term memories we have here. Does no one remember these dicks running this country into the ground and nearly ending the planet's economy? Apparently not. So congratulations Dick Cheney, W, and all others who should be in jail, you are indeed douchebag of the year.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

WHAT I REALLY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

Santa came early this year as I asked for Sony to grow a pair and they did now releasing the movie, the Interview, in over 200 theaters and on YouTube tomorrow. I am sure the huge profits they stand to make did nothing to influence their decision and this is so solely based on the merits of the First Amendment. Sure. That's what happened.
But let look at ten things I would like for Christmas

10)I would like Pat Lynch to shut the hell up. This douchebag has been saying some of the dumbest things imaginable for 15 years now. For those unaware, he has been the head of the police union in NYC, which must bear some responsibility for our out of control police force there. Let's take a look at some of his worst from Gawker.com:

June 2000: Lynch argued that Bruce Springsteen’s song about four NYPD officers shooting and killing an unarmed 23-year-old named Amadou Diallo was interfering with those (acquitted) officers’ “healing”:
Singer Bruce Springsteen has begun performing in concert a song called “American Skin”—the title seems to suggest that the shooting of Amadou Diallo was a case of racial profiling—which keeps repeating the phrase, “Forty-one-shots.” I consider it an outrage that he would be trying to fatten his wallet by reopening the wounds of this tragic case at a time when police officers and community members are in a healing period, and I have let his representatives and the press know how I feel about this song.

July 2010: Lynch defended a cop who was videotaped shoving a bicyclist off his bike by calling the victim an “anarchist”:
The anarchists were looking for a confrontation with police and found it in an rookie officer trying to do his job the best way he knew how. The conditional discharge doesn’t mitigate the fact that New York City has one less police officer today who could have served the city well.
October 2011: Lynch defended the widespread but illegal practice of ticket-fixing as institutionally sanctioned within the N.Y.P.D. (and therefore above the law):
When asked about ticket fixing, Lynch stated, “Ticket fixing was conduct accepted at all ranks for decades.”
December 2014: Lynch blamed Eric Garner for his own death at the hands of a N.Y.P.D. officer:
“We feel badly that there was a loss of life,” said Patrick Lynch, president of the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association. “But unfortunately Mr. Garner made a choice that day to resist arrest.”
He also argued that critics were deliberately ignoring the moral character of the officer who placed Garner in a chokehold:
“He is the model of what we want a police officer to be,” P.B.A. president Pat Lynch said of Pantaleo. “What’s also been lost is the character of police officer Daniel Pantaleo. What’s not being told is what kind of man and what kind of person and what kind of professional he is. He is a resident of this great city. He lives on Staten Island. He lives in those neighborhoods. He’s college educated, here in this city. He’s a mature, mature police officer who’s motivated by serving the community.”
“He literally, literally, is an Eagle Scout,” said Lynch, adding that the maneuver Pantaleo used on Garner was a “textbook” takedown.
 
This man is a loon and he's in charge of one of the largest police forces on Earth. And then we wonder why cops keep killing people randomly in NYC. I have been a victim of his price fixing, when some ass cop in NYC gave me a ticket for going 62 in a 55 and then writing it up to 69. Yeah that was fair. Lynch went to say that killing people who shouldn't have resisted arrest is fine, which is very Nazi-ish of him. So heil Hitler you scum sucking dick, you're there to protect the people not just yourselves.
9)I would like Kim Jong Un, the Mullahs of Iran, and every single religious fanatic of any sect to go take a flying leap off a very tall cliff. Religion is killing us and make no mistake, Un is very much a god to the religion of North Korea. Sooner or later, some nutbag is going to do something real stupid and the world may very well end because of it. The world resembles 1914 right now and back then the death of one man set off two world wars and hundreds of millions dead. I do not want to see what a nuclear war looks like. And neither does anyone else not named Lindsey Graham.

8)I would like Republicans to sit down, drink a glass of wine and maybe, just maybe, read the freaking New Testament of the Bible. Nothing they are doing is even remotely Christian and a lot of it is in direct contradiction to the words of Christ. How is that possible that the book you so revere seems to never get taken off the shelf? I am a lapsed Catholic and even I read the Bible every now and then. There's some fascinating stuff in there. I just wish the morons didn't read things into it that were never meant to be. Christ's words are more important than his actions. Just saying.

7)I would like Democrats to take a long hard look at Sony and realize that they knew when to show some balls. You guys keep digging your own grave, get buried in it, come back to life when the GOP drives us into a wall and then you start the whole sad process all over again. It's insanity. Liz Warren is a hot commodity because she speaks to the people about things they care about. If it was outside the womb this last election, it didn't matter in some weird reversal of what made the Republicans lose in 2012. Voters care more about jobs and the economy than abortion and you guys were tone deaf to that. I swear to God if you pick Hillary Clinton as your next nominee, and God help us, Bush 3, I am doing everything I can to make sure no one votes. It will be real hard to enact a mandate for either side if only a few million people vote for you.
6)I would like the government to lying to me on a regular basis. It is so hard to defend you against claims the North Korea had nothing to do with the hack (they did) when you come out with economic news that anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of statistics can see is flawed. Yesterday it came out that the GDP grew at an outstanding 5%. So what's the problem? Almost every stat coming out economically from the government is filled with skewered data and wildly overinflated estimates that crash the following month. Take housing. We hear publically that housing grew this tremendous amount in say September, only for them to quietly whisper the following month that their estimates were off by sometimes as high as 40%. GDP is no different. There were off by $180 billion dollars in September from what they estimated and what actually came in, or a 44% difference. That's not statistics. That's fraud. Any statistical difference should be no higher than 5%. Over 8% is garbage. 44% is just plain stupid.

What's more, savings have dropped to pre-2003 levels as people are spending more on, wait for it, Obamacare. I said from day one that Obamacare has a lot going for it. Cost savings for anyone not getting subsidies, not going to happen. And it isn't. Unfortunately, those making say $80,000 a year a far from well off depending on which market they live, and they are driving up credit cards debt and savings declines. Add to the fact that most of the jobs being created suck and pay nothing and we are not headed in the right direction. Oh and by the way, the number one thing that drove up the GDP were stock buybacks which is nothing more than a Ponzi scheme. Sometime soon, prices will be too high to keep buying at the rates they need to "grow" and then the whole house of cards goes belly up.

5)I would like racism to disappear. This means black people too who seem to see race EVERYWHERE now. Need something off a shelf. Racist. Traffic stop due to tail light out. Racist. Getting shot five times while charging a cop. Racist. It's not always because you're black. Sometimes, people see you as human which is what I thought you wanted in the first place. There's still white racism, but we marginalize it as best we can. No one is having White Power rallies at the local PTA. To quote Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"
4)I would like to someday get a billion dollars and then spend 99% of it on making the world a better place. I don't need a lot of money but there certainly a lot out there who could use it. Feel free to donate that billion dollars or less, whatever, to my site this Christmas. Know that all donations will go to some good cause, whether it be rent, an animal shelter or even some friend in need of help. I do love Christmas and would like to try to help those less fortunate.

3)I would like to give Obama some props for doing the right thing lately when it came to Cuba, North Korea and immigration reform. Had he done these things, I don't know, maybe sometime before the last election, democrats wouldn't have taken such an epic beating. Just saying. But Obama's popularity is rising again and with good reason: he's doing his job. Congress could learn a thing or two about that.

2)I would like to thank my beautiful fiancĂ©e (yes the Warmonger is getting married) who has been with me even when I was deathly ill and weighed 105 pounds, in agonizing pain every day. She never complained once and never once thought of leaving me. I love her with all my heart.
1) I would like to thank all of you out there who have been reading my blog. I try to pass on the best information, unbiased and well thought out and I do it because of the tremendous support I get from you, sometimes in less than accurate comments that make me question how well those people can actually read. You do know I bash the democrats too right? But thanks to all of you and I hope you have a Merry Christmas and I will be back on Sunday for my Douchebag of the Year. Who do you think it should be?