Sunday, April 23, 2017

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: NORTH KOREA

It's bad enough that we have Orange Hitler running wackadoodle across the planet, but to have someone look even worse is quite the accomplishment. In just the last 24 hours, everyone's least favorite midget dictator threatened nuclear war on the United States, our aircraft carriers, Australia(?), and for some inane reason, China. This man is mad and that spells trouble for us all because mutually assured destruction may not resonate with someone who may think himself immortal. Let's see those runner ups.

10)Aaron Hernandez- This guy was a giant fuck up and no I don't think playing football had anything to do with it. As is the custom today, nothing is anyone's fault because of insert excuse here. It's the environment, it's the concussions, my daddy was mean it me when I was six, WHHHHAAAAAA! Looking back at this guy's trajectory, it was painfully clear that he imagined himself a gangster and surrounded himself with like minded people. This is a HUGE problem in the inner city today where gangsta life is sought after more than a college degree, thus the sorry state of black, Hispanic and even white youth today. This dork threw away a forty million dollar contract and what certainly would have been even more in endorsements as he was an articulate, handsome man. Instead, he tossed it all away to kill at least one person, acquitted of two others and then hung himself in his cell the same day he would have been at the White House sporting another Super Bowl ring and a lasting legacy. What a waste.

9)Adidas- Another corporation, another tone deaf response. Some of these places should just not use Twitter ever and these guys are at the top of the heap. For some idiotic reason, they thought it be hilarious to tweet marathon runners "Congratulations for surviving the Boston Marathon," as if the entire race was laden with IED's and sharp shooters. Needless to say, Boston was amused and a quick apology took place. Does nobody have an ounce of common sense lately?

8)Unnamed Flight Attendant on American Airlines- This video should be shown in every business in America as to how NOT to handle a situation like this. You could also call it five easy ways to get fired from you job in such a way as to ensure you will never work again anywhere ever. For the five or six people who didn't see the video here is the recap: a fat, bald, short flight attendant violently grabbed a stroller away from a woman, striking her in the head and barely missing the two infants she had in her hands. She starts crying, as he acts like an ass until a passenger tells douchewad to try that with him to which, incredulously, dumbass challenges him to a fight. All on tape. He got suspended the minute they landed with his firing all but assured as there is no way to have that guy on any flight where he wouldn't be immediately recognized and despised. Customer service was not this guy's forte. Worse, because this video when international, Uncle Fester may be unemployable, period. Watching someone wreck their life on video never gets old, especially when they deserve it.

7)Steve Stephens- I am glad the dick killed himself saving the taxpayers from having to pay for his life. This giant pussy killed a 74 year old man walking down the street minding his own business when this fool, pissed his girlfriend dumped him, decided to shoot, an innocent soul. And he live streamed the whole thing. This is where we are now where guns are used to kill random people. We either need more guns or less because this kind of shit is getting old. I hope this guy rots in hell.

6)Turkey- How in this day and age does any country vote for dictatorship? Well Turkey did this week with a slight majority vote, one that has been plagued by calls of ballot rigging. If that sounds familiar it is because we just did the same thing a few months back where we elected a dangerous demagogue under a cloud of suspicion of Russian interference and what appears to be ballot rigging by the Republicans that got it's usual no coverage by the government or the MSM. If France votes for La Pen, results soon, the world will be moving to the far right with disastrous results. What is going on on this planet?

5)Bill O'Reilly- This blowhard got his walking papers this week when one too many sexual harassment accusers came forward, the latest, a black temp whom he called "hot chocolate," which pink slipped him. This is nothing new as he has been doing this for decades but society finally caught up and sent him packing like his former boss Roger Ailes. Hopefully, this will end his career because as bad as his show was, his fucking books are even worse. His book Killing Kennedy, is chock full of so many inaccuracies I found myself missing Gerald Posner's crapfest Case Closed. Go Away Bill.

4)Libya- For all of those black people thinking Islam is their future should really be looking at how Islamic extremists treat black people. Hot on the trail of the black Islamic moron who shot some people in California this week, comes this story about how extremists in Libya are selling black people into slavery for as little as $200. Yet, white people are the problem right?

3)Rex Tillerson- This guy sucks at his job so bad it's frightening. He's the flight attendant for American all over again only with no chance of being fired. This week dumbass threatened Iran for something, which is odd as we have enough to worry about with North Korea without this jerk starting another war front. Iran is not the problem right now. Down the road maybe but for right now we are facing a Nuclear War and probably should be focused on that tidbit at the moment. Shut the fuck up please. I agree that a nuclear armed Iran can never happen but they are years away from that while the Korean problem is immediate. And the reason for that is the Iran deal you all keep pissing on. Learn to read.

2)Trump- This week, Orange Hitler helped ruin the environment but rolling back Obama era regulations, which is odd because when Obama was doing EO's everyone had a fit about it, calling it unconstitutional and the like, but now because their guy is in office, it's fine. Polls show that Republicans have a had a huge swing in opinion about everything, even if nothing has changed, such as the economy or their wages. Democrats opinion polls are exactly the same, This shows the Republicans are morons who cannot accept reality, That is dangerous. So on top of an electorate with the brain power of a three watt bulb, Cheeto Fart lost an aircraft carrier, with his administration not having any idea where the USS Carl Visson really was. We told everyone it was heading toward North Korea, when in reality it was headed in the opposite direction, Being unpredictable like this makes everything worse. We are supposed to be the stable ones, not dangerously unstable as our allies are looking at us. The chances for war are exponentially growing because of this.
Image result for north korea cartoons 2017
1)North Korea- I keep hearing that there is no way Kim Jung Un would ever start a war as he would be annihilated. That is assuming that you are dealing with a rational, stable being. Neither the US nor North Korea has that now and we are rocketing toward WW3 instead. To demonstrate how deranged this man is, this week he told China in vague terms to go fuck themselves and if they want to side with the US, North Korea doesn't need them. Even though he really does. It would be suicide to cross China but that is exactly what he is doing. That tells us his mind set is "I don't give a fuck!" and that means war is all but inevitable. It could happen as soon as Tuesday, the next big holiday for the rouge nation, and chances are good he will set off his sixth nuke test. What happens after that is anyone's guess but do not rule out China invading North Korea for their own safety, or even a joint Russian, Chinese, and US forces taking the country out. The problem is North Korea could still kill a few hundred million people and make that area of the Earth uninhabitable for centuries even with their help. And there still a chance that they could side with Kim and attack us, setting the stage for a much wider war and, most likely, the end of everything. This country should have been knocked into next week decades ago but because we kicked the can down the road we have reached the end and could lead to the end of everything. This is the biggest crisis since the Cuban Missile Crisis and we had far better leaders than we do now. We are headed for a fall and perhaps the end of everything. So congratulations North Korea you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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