Thursday, May 2, 2013

IT'S SUMMER MOVIE TIME. WHAT WILL SOAR AND WHAT WILL FLOP.

Lately, it kind of sucks to live in the Boston area. It's not because of terrorism, or the weather or the horrible, horrible drivers. It's because the news media here is beating a dead horse with the aftermath of the bombings. Yesterday, the news was on all day to inform us of three dumb asses arrested by the FBI for aiding and abetting after the fact the two terrorists who attacked the Marathon. Idiots. This may have been interesting for five minutes, maybe ten, not an entire afternoon where helicopters followed the car taking the three to and from the courthouse all the while repeating the same facts over and over. It was mind numbingly boring. So today, I have decided to leave the news behind for the day and talk about something I love: the summer film season. I will pick the five best and five worst sounding movies of the coming few months. Let us leave behind any more details from the terrible future we face and at least give us something to look forward to.

FIVE BEST SOUNDING FILMS OF SUMMER 2013

5)Iron Man 3- I liked the first two Iron Man movies but always felt that the directing and story were a little lacking. In both films, the final fight scene seemed almost tacked on and not very thrilling. Joss Whedon's, The Avengers, showed us exactly how to stage a final fight scene that was epic in scale and thrilling in nature. Shane Black takes over in his second directorial effort, his last being 2005's Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, also with Robert Downey Jr. and was quite good. The movie uses one of Iron Man greatest villains The Mandarin with Sir Ben Kingsley playing him to the hilt. It has already opened to huge overseas grosses and I expect tomorrow to see much the same here. This will be a big hit and a great movie.

4)Pacific Rim- Gullermo Del Toro is one of my favorite directors having seen everything he has ever done, including his excellent debut Cronos in the theater nonetheless. Now comes his first big budget movie with giant robots and huge, Godzilla-like monsters. Add in an international cast, including Japanese hottie Rinko Kikucki, one of the only Japanese women ever nominated for an Academy Award for Babel (which was also the only watchable part of that misfire of a movie) and Jax from Sons of Anarchy (Charlie Hunnam) and you have all the elements for a great popcorn flick. I cannot wait for this film.

3)This is the End- Reuniting the Pinapple Express cast and crew, comes this gem about a bunch of stars, playing versions of themselves, throwing a party when the end of the world begins. Seth Rogan, James Franco, Craig Robinson and Danny Mcbride all come back to join Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill and Emma Watson in what appears to be one funny movie. The best appears to be Michael Cera playing a degenerate, cokehead version of himself. Cameos abound from what I hear and I have very highs hopes for this film as the trailer is laugh out loud funny.

2)Man of Steel- I will admit, I am usually kind of meh of Superman. I liked the first two Christopher Reeve movies and the Dean Cain TV series was entertaining but that's about it. The last Superman film was painful to sit through with giant plot holes and an Austin Powers ending. However I do like the director, other than his last turd Sucker Punch and the overwrought 300, and feel he may be the guy to bring Superman to life in a new way. The story sounds interesting with Superman struggling to NOT use his powers and General Zod (Michael Shannon) as the villain, this film has loads of promise.

1)Star Trek Into Darkness- This film can't open soon enough. I love Star Trek. It represents hope for the mankind and that is something we have precious little anymore. Add in the fact the JJ Abrams nailed it last time and this looks no different. As Benedict Cumberbatch is the still unknown villain I expect good things from this film and the trailers look amazing. I will be there day one to see this and expect there to be many others who will agree that this will almost certainly be the best film of the summer and maybe, even the year.

FIVE WORST SOUNDING FILMS OF SUMMER 2013

5)Tyler Perry Presents Peeples- Pretty much anything after TP Presents is a sure fire sign of how bad this film be. Yes I am the polar opposite of the target audience, but My God these films suck. The tone varies wildly from slapstick comedy to tearjerker and the "comedy" is so broad as to be painted with a broom. The trailers certainly are not getting any laughs in the theater when I saw it and most actually groaned at some of it. It will still make a small fortune as they are cheaply made and black people sure seem to like these movies, but it will still suck and suck hard for the rest of us. Unless you are a big fan, stay far, far away.

4)The Great Gatsby- This book adaptation has been tried numerous times in the past and it has never worked even when Robert Redford took a crack at it. I am not a big Baz Luhrmann fan, having found all of his films overblown and over directed, especially the unwatchable Romeo and Juliet. This whole film looks like it was filmed inside a snow globe and looks dazzling and pretty while having all the story momentum of a Teen Mom episode. I love Leo DeCaprio but I think this time the production may fizzle as it opens between Iron Man 3 and Star Trek. This would have better suited for Christmas 2012 when it was supposed to open. During the summer, this is going to get buried.

3)300: Rise of an Empire- I pretty much found the original pretty to look at with almost no story whatsoever. I also never thought there was much need for a sequel but leave it to Hollywood to figure one out. Gerald Butler wisely turned down returning in this series, which may be the smartest thing he ever did. I see little reason that this will do well with the only factor being it is being released in August with little competition.

2)Epic- I really, really like animated features. However, the ones coming out lately have been really bland. The Oscar for Brave was unwarranted as every other movie nominated against it was better. Brave was pretty to look at but the story was nonexistent. Now comes the first of what will be many Brave-like ripoffs, like this one. The plot has something to do with a teen girl who fights forces of evil in a forest of something. The trailers are TERRIBLE with the only redeeming factor is that there are not a lot of kids fare until much later in the summer. This will probably open well and fade fast on bad word of mouth. I have very low hopes for this.

1)World War Z- The Walking Dead is one of my favorite shows. I have seen every great zombie movie ever made at least twice and the most of the bad ones once. In all the time, not one has been rated PG-13. So with advance word coming of a complete lack of blood, also comes word that the book has been radically changed and that the studio demanded seven weeks of reshoots after dailies came back with much negative fanfare.. This film looks, sounds and smells like one of the biggest failures of the year and hiring Marc Forster was probably not the wisest move as his movies have been sluggish and dull. I am not going to see this and I am definitely the target audience here. As it opens a week after the new Superman, the same day as the promising Monsters U, and a week before White House Down, this film needs a lot luck. As the most expensive zombie movie ever made ($200m), this will also go down as the biggest failure of the year. Bet big that this movie tanks.

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