DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR 2015: MARTIN SHKRELI!

No one epitomized everything that is wrong with this country than the most hated man in America: Martin Shkreli. He was a combination of Big Pharma, greed, our heath care system, and millennials, all wrapped up in that stupid smile you so wanted to slap off his face. There was no single person I wanted to see get his comeuppance more than this ass, and there were a surprising amount of that late this year. As Blackadder once said "My God is quick these days." Let's see those runner ups.

10)MSM- Wow does our media suck. There were so many missed stories about terror attacks in countries like Nigeria, Lebanon and Yemen, you would have thought they were told to NOT report it. The debates have been worse than usual, mostly thanks to inane debate questions and a complete lack of follow up when candidates blatantly lie to the camera. Brian Williams tells one lie after another and gets demoted to basic cable for it, while everyone else does the same and gets a pat on the back. Fox is biased, MSNBC is corrupt and CNN is incompetent. Can we please get a real news channel? Please? The worst was Rolling Stone for filing a rape story that never happened and had they done even the slightest bit of research, would have seen it was crap. People lives were ruined by this. Do better. Much better.

9)BLM and Racism- It has been a mixed bag for this group who for every smart thing they do like protest in Chicago or Baltimore, then they turn around and go after Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton and other political figures that are their best hope for change. Meanwhile, they let the GOP sail right by. Not smart. They should read the epitaph of OWS who did the exact same thing to their own peril. If you block highways, stores and airports, all you are going to do is piss people off. If you stage constant protests outside of the mayor's office or police station, you are much more likely to get support for your cause. And for the record, saying Black Lives Matter comes across to white society as ONLY black lives matter. The reality is, white people are also being killed by cops, it's just not getting as much press and see above as to why. We are all in this together so stop making just about you.

8)The Police- It has not been a good year for the boys in blue. Every time they do something nice, some douche cop has to go and kill an unarmed man, usually black. Baltimore killed Freddie Grey in custody and they still couldn't get a conviction. Oddly, there were bigger riots over it happening than the verdict. Chicago has gone off the rails executing black people with impunity. They delayed a video for a year that showed one cop executing a black guy for no reason which already cost the Chief of police his job and may take down the mayor and AG as well, which it should. Then just the other day, trigger happy dicks shot and killed a 19 year old black man with mental issues and his 55 year old female neighbor. Needless to say, people were pissed. But two specific cops make the top list of douchebag here. The first, Eric Casebolt, the cop who decided a Captain Kirk shoulder roll would be really cool as he took down a 15 year old black girl at a pool party. This was a source of endless hilarity, especially after he got fired. But no one was worse than "hero" cop, Joe Gliniewitz, who staged an elaborate suicide to cover up a really sleazy life. Not only was he embezzling from a charity he ran, but was also having multiple affairs, including one with his son's wife, which may have been arranged as part of a military scam as well. He was also a notorious drunk and possible rapist. What a guy. His wife and son are also facing charges for helping in the scams. I hope they get life.

7)Deflategate and the NFL- This has been a banner year for mock scandals. Pretty much everything thrown at Hillary was nonsense, the press invented scandals wherever they could, but this was garbage from the start. Brady got thrown under the bus by jealous owners pissed they couldn't beat the Patriots ever so they threw a snit fit, which continued even after they were cleared of any wrong doing by a judge. The odd part is that even when other teams cheated, like Buffalo did by playing music when the Pats had the ball, this was never addressed. The refs this season have been the worst ever, due to retirement by many which left too many newbies to blow call after call. Peyton Manning has been slammed by Al Jazzera for taking steroids, which he denies, the person who made the claim denies, and seem to have zero proof overwise, yet they ran the story anyway. Way to go MSM again. The worst of the bunch was Roger Godell who seems to have no idea what he is doing anymore. He screwed over Pats owner Robert Kraft, who gave a scathing rebuttal to his former friend, who then even after losing, filed an appeal which stats say has less than a 1% chance of success. Someone replace this ass with someone who knows what he is doing.

6)Random douchebags- This year brought three new faces and one old one to the forefront, most of whom got served before the year's end. George Zinmerman faced new charges this year for assault, which were dropped, got shot at by some other loon with a gun, painted weird pictures of things like the Confederate Flag and tweeted pictures of Trayvon Martin's dead body. Still waiting for fate to catch up to him. Three others were not so lucky. Who can forget Dr. Walter Palmer who shot Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe, and had to go into hiding because of it. The good news is that big game hunters are going to have a harder time getting their pelts back into this country who have banned them now. Then there was Ethan Couch, the Affluneza teen who skated away from justice with the novel idea that he was too spoiled and rich to know right from wrong. Well after a video surfaced of him at a party with alcohol, which is against his probation, he and his mom fled to Mexico, where they were caught almost immediately as they never got rid of their cell phones. He faces 120 days in prison. She faces up to ten years. Good luck with the Affluenza defense again. The worst of the bunch was Bill Cosby who solidified his role as America's biggest serial rapist. Over fifty woman came forward this year to accuse him of rape, which he not only denied, but sued eight of them for defamation. Ouch. But this ass was put in his place just this week when he was arrested for a 2004 rape on a lesbian. Chances are good many of the women from his past will show up to testify against him. Way to ruin your legacy.

5)Religious Extremists- There were a lot of these this past year. Here at home we had lunatic shooter Robert Dear who killed four at Planned Parenthood, Kim Davis and Mike Huckabee holding a rally that looked like a bad Hee Haw sketch, and Josh Dugger got caught fondling his siblings, having lots of extra martial affairs and possibly even beating up a porn star/hooker. Good times guys. Then we had the Muslim lunatics like the Charlie Hebdo shooting, the Paris Massacre and the San Bernadino shooters just to name a few. These guys are allegedly trying to start the final war which is odd as if that happens, Muslims genocide is inevitable. The biggest ass in all of this is Turkish leader Erdogan who shot down a Russian plan, just because he wanted to, and as NATO members, got us one step closer to all out nuclear war. Countries like Saudi Arabia and Turkey are fanning the flames of hatred, using proxy armies to get what they want, just like Hamas and Hezbollah are and the whole world may erupt because of this. We are dangerous close to an extinction event and these assholes are clamoring for it.

4)Democrats- This has not been a stellar year for anyone in politics. Obama has tried to sell us the TPP, which is nothing more than a corporate takeover of America. Hillary is still lying about everything. Know that just like Obama, if she gets into office, all her campaign promises will disappear. Other than Bernie Sanders, no one wanted to run against her, including Joe Biden. This is not good news for democracy where this side has too few candidates and the other side has too many. The worst of the bunch is Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a harpy of a woman who could only come out of swamp state like Florida. She lost democrats the election in 2014 by giving up on it before it even started, helped sell the odious TPP to the rest of electorate and is now trying to give Hillary the nomination by scheduling debates when no one will watch. I hate this woman.

3)Republicans- These guys were on fire this year with stupid shit. Mitch McConnell played politics with 9/11 first responders health. Tom Cotton wrote a letter to Iran that should have got him arrested for treason. Former Governor, John Rowland, went back to jail for working on a political junket which he is barred from doing. That one made me happier than most as he single handedly destroyed the movie business in that state and cost me my career in that industry. Pretty much everyone running for President has been a failure. Carly Fiorina and Ben Carson are idiots that flared out once the rest of the country figured that out. Ted Cruz is the most loathed man in politics yet second in the race. Jeb Bush is all but done as he cannot string a single sentence together. John McCain joined Lindsey Graham in their insane desire to bomb Russia. But no one has been a bigger douchebag than Donald Trump. He has insulted women, Mexicans, Muslims and most everyone else, yet still has a commanding lead. His opponents are why this happening as they are somehow worse.

2)Millennials- This group was very close to the top for their outrageous position on things all across the country. They complained about racism even if none existed. They complained about sexism when none existed. They complained about food, not quality but how it was served, somehow unaware that there is no rule book when food is concerned, just is it good or not. Who gives a crap how your General Tso's chicken was prepared? If you are in college and the food doesn't make you wish you were at Taco Bell, consider yourself lucky. These spoiled brats screamed about safe spaces, went after journalists who dared to have an alternate opinion, and made even the most milquetoast name a problem. This is what happens when everyone gets a trophy, no one is taught to be better, and everyone develops PTSD when someone calls them a bad name. Time to grow up people. Especially Oberlin College and their food snit. Be glad you have food to eat unlike places in Africa.

1)Martin Shkreli- I, and million of others, clapped their hands with joy when this douchebag of the year got perp walked for fraud, conspiracy and other charges that could land him 20 years in prison. Before that, he was a failed hedge fund manager, thus the crimes, and a Pharmaceutical investor who was buying patents to drugs and jacking up the cost astronomically high. He may have literally killed people. But he wasn't alone in this and exposed how big companies like Pfizer and Merck have done the exact same thing, just not as obvious. They are certainly pissed at him and is probably why is facing charges rather than being ignored like the others. If you shine a spotlight in something the powers that be don't want you to, you will be taken care of. It's one of the reasons Donald Trump better be careful. So congratulation Martin Shkreli you are indeed douchebag of the year.

PREDICTIONS FOR 2016: WHAT FRESH HELL AWAITS US?

Let's all admit 2015 was not great for a lot of reasons. Many you will see tomorrow in my annual Douchebag of the Year column which I am still compiling. Our economy continued to suck despite everyone's assurances otherwise. Our presidential candidates are almost all old, stupid or both with little hope for any of them accomplishing anything. Our Congress is filled with greedy bastards more interested in fueling even more money to corporate interests than ever before while slashing pay, benefits and jobs for the rest of us. To say things look bleak would be an understatement. So what does 2016 bring for us? More of the same and then some I am afraid. Let's see what predictions I think will happen next year, some funny, some not.

I predict Bill Cosby, Martin Shkreli and George Zimmerman will all form a new super-group called AWA (Assholes With Attitude) and will burn up the charts with songs like "I Like Em Still," "Fuck Sick People," and "My Gun, My Lover." They will disband quickly after their first tour after Cosby drugs and rapes Shkreli's mom, Shkreli steals all the band's money and Zimmerman "accidently" shoots Bill Cosby.

I predict Trump will be the Republican nominee and the mass media's heads will explode in horror/delight.

I predict Hillary will be the Democratic nominee after Millennials oversleep and miss the primaries completely.

I predict a Hillary/Trump match-up will make most of this country dry heave constantly.

I predict Hillary wins when every rich person and corporation funds Hillary instead of Trump, who loses everyone but old white men votes in a landlslide unseen since Mondale versus Reagan. Anyone who doesn't think the Clinton war machine will not decimate Trump is deluding themselves.

I predict the Supreme Court will make epic rulings devolving this country to utter serfdom and failure. Congress will of course, applaud them for their sanity, making everyone else crazy in response.

I predict lots more innocent people, mostly black, will die at the hands of a psycho cop.

I predict most will get away with it.

I predict BLM will change things in places like Chicago.

I predict BLM will get run out on a rail if they continue to block airport access and shopping in places like Minnesota. Is the police station too far to protest in front of?

I predict the Republicans will continue to pursue polices that 90% of the country is opposed to.

I predict the Democrats will continue to do absolutely nothing that even alters the status quo.

I predict Americans will get very, very mad over the inaction taking place.

I predict a massive stock market crash when everyone runs out of money, higher interest rates stop the corporations from buying back as much as their own stock to stay afloat (Caterpillar I am looking at you) thus decreasing values, and consumers stop buying in mass numbers which will all be blamed on the weather, whatever it happens to be doing that week. It was raining. It was snowing. It was too hot, or too cold. We are too broke. That's the problem.

I predict 90% of the new shows that appear on network TV this spring don't last until May. Because of censorship issues, most shows would rather be on HBO or basic cable than NBC. They get last pick which explains how bad some of these shows are lately. They certainly need a better set of sitcoms which have all but disappeared lately.

I predict Captain America: Civil War will be awesome.

I predict TMNT 2 will not be awesome or even watchable.

I predict they studios will announce remakes of Jumanji, the Magnificent Seven, Scarface, The Blob, Ghostbusters, Frankenstein and Jaws. Only the last one is fake.

I predict most of those remakes bomb in the box office. I do have high hopes for Ghostbusters though just because of the cast. Leslie Jones is hysterical.

I predict some idiot terrorist will do something so heinous, a furious world will retaliate violently against all Muslims in response.

I predict Kanye West and his big assed wife will continue to be annoying as hell.

I predict the news will spend days on some trivial matter that no one cares about while important news goes unreported. See above for what that trivial matter will likely be about.

I predict someone will get offended by the word "offended" and demand it no longer be used because of sensibilities to the easily disturbed.

I predict climate change will continue to fry us like an egg as no one cares or notices not on a coastline.

I predict that I will keep writing this column and I hope that you all out there continue to read and like what I have to say, even if it's vulgar and offensive.


Happy New Year everyone.

WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2016: FILM AND TV SOARS!

If you are interested in entertainment, 2016 is going to be a fantastic year. We have Batman Vs Superman, Deadpool, Captain America: Civil War, X-men: Apocalypse, Now You See Me 2, The Secret Life of Pets, Ghostbusters, Star Trek Beyond, Suicide Squad, Dr. Strange, Jack Reacher 2, Fantastic Beasts, Rouge One, and that's just the ones I am aware of.

There are certain to be others that will blow me away, especially low budget ones that fly under the radar until word of mouth catches up. Ex Machina was one such rare treat this year and It Follows to a lesser extent as that one bordered on dull sometimes with an ending I figured out five minutes into the film. But it was creepy. I want a scary horror film for once, something I don't think I've seen in a theater since The Descent. Unfortunately, there doesn't appear to be any on the horizon so my comic book geek self will have to deal with the glut of superhero movies that all sound or look good.

Deadpool, Dr. Strange and Captain America have me giddy as I am a Marvel fan over DC. However, Suicide Squad looks great and say what you want, I really like Ben Affleck and am curious to see how he does with Batman. He's a better actor than most people give him credit for.

TV will continue to rule/suck depending on what is on. Heroes reborn bit the dust bin again this past year and has me worried about the upcoming X-files return, another series which died a painful death in it's final, really awful last season. At least Scully and Mulder are back which is the only reason I am going to give a chance to this show written by a hack, Chris Carter, who hasn't had even a smidgen of success with any other show since. The final episode of the X-Files was one of the worst series enders ever. Hard to bounce back from that, but I will see, with hopes so low a guy laying on a skateboard couldn't limbo under it.

Legends of Tomorrow can't get here fast enough. This show is going to rock and I am so hoping for a second season so Constantine may join. Angel From Hell shows promise. Lucifer will piss of the religious so it has that going for it. American Crime Story lets America relive the OJ Simpson trial. Game of Thrones and Deadliest Catch will be back soon. Preacher looks awesome. Luke Cage, who already is in the awesome Jessica Jones, returns. Westworld is back.

2016 for entertainment looks great. Too bad the rest of the world won't be.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK:MATT BEVIN!

This is what happens when you don't vote. This week, not one, but two GOP Governors got into some hot water with their actions that seriously question their competency. As bad as Democrats are, and they do indeed suck hard, they do not constantly keep doing things that fuck over the poorest people in our society while cheering on others to revel in their suffering. What is wrong with this country? Let's see those runner ups.

10)Donkey Cartel- The worst rap named person ever died this week after an ill advised shooting at a NC mall involving a fight between gang rivals, which of course had to include guns because America is filled with pussies who can't fight without them. His real name was Daquan Antonio Westbrook, 18, and was a failed rapper who had already been in and out of prison several times before dying stupidly. His rap album has a picture of him in an orange jumpsuit flashing gang signs. Clever. An off duty policeman killed him when this idiot starting firing into crowds of people during the Holiday rush. Past offenses for Donkey induced shooting a 12 year old in the leg and a recent charge of assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill. Yet somehow, this ass is free to walk the streets so some other innocent guy has to sit there for a pot charge. This is why the War on Drugs is moronic but I am glad this fuckwad is dead, hopefully before having a slew of bastard kids.

9)Jim Webb- After getting 0% of the Democratic vote, this loon has peeked back up to insult Hillary Clinton and threaten an independent bid. This is fine with me because his views mirror closer to the right side and will siphon more votes from the GOP contender than the left. Why can some people never go away?

8)Peyton Manning- While it is still too early to throw stones at the quarterback great, past experiences suggest there may be something here. Allegations about him using human growth hormone have surfaced along with a bunch of other athletes including Mike Tyson. Denials mean nothing now since Bill Cosby, Josh Duggar, Jared Fogel and one nut wonder, Lance Armstrong have all tainted that by lying through their teeth until it came clear that they had indeed done what they were accused of. There may be nothing here, but unfortunately, chances are they all cheated which makes them worse than Brady and the Patriots, not that many of you out there will see that and still invent awful memes about Deflategate.

7)Madonna- In what can only be described as the worst parenting skill ever, Madonna actually sued her 15 year old son so he would come home and spend the holidays with her, rather than her ex Guy Ritchie in the UK. He's 15 not three, Madonna. He has free will and if he doesn't want to spend Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever weird ritual you celebrate in December, he doesn't have to. Suing him seems a sure fire way to never see him again. Even after a judge ruled he had to return, Ritchie and his son said "make me," which is unlikely to get anyone to extradite over this. This woman is deranged.

6)Steve Harvey- I love Steve Harvey. I think he is funny, quick witted and one of the best hosts of Family Feud ever. However, reading is not his strong suit as demonstrated by his disastrous one week hosting of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? in which he mangled words so badly it merited a riotous SNL sketch. This time, he may have misread a cure card or the card was misprinted, but either way, Harvey announced the WRONG winner at the Miss Universe Pageant which is pretty bad as you now have to ruin some poor girl's life when you say Oops! I still love you Harvey but there are some ruthless memes out there that I will have to share because of this.

5)Lakeisha Holloway- This 24 year old homeless woman decided she wanted a roof over her head for the rest of her life and thought the best way to do that was run a bunch of people over her car, killing one and injuring almost 40 others. Oh, and she had her three year old in the back that she will now never see again. Cops have ruled out terrorism, but not mental illness, which seems rather cut and dried. Tell me again how keeping guns out of the hands of lunatics will keep us safe?

4)Chipotle- Anyone eating here is literally taking their lives in their own hands. Another E-coli outbreak, this time down south, has hobbled more people. It also turns out that this has been going on for some time with past outbreaks over the years sickening over a thousand people now. How are they still in business? What idiot eats food from this place? Go to Q'Doba for some of the best tacos I have ever had and e-coli free. This business needs to go bye byes.

3)Oberlin College Students- You have officially crossed the Rubicon if I can no longer distinguish between satire and reality. This story was it. In it, people of all races were incensed over food or lack thereof at Oberlin college dining halls. Not that the food was bad, as it usually is, but that it was prepared in ways that were "culturally unacceptable." The Japanese bitched about the sushi. The Vietnamese complained about how their Bahn Mi sandwich was made, unaware of the irony that this was being served at all, let alone correctly. Black people complained about the lack of fried chicken, claiming it was racist not to have that on the menu. My favorite was the Chinese whining about the General Tso's chicken being culturally hurtful as they used the wrong sauce, somehow oblivious to the fact that that dish is American born. The younger generation is too stupid to live. If this is our future, I'd like to get off this ride sooner than later.

2)Susanne Martinez- The Governor of NM was recently caught being drunk in public while admonishing the police who came to some party at a posh hotel where her guests were being louder than she was, a true feat, while doing douchebag things like throw bottles from the balcony down below where people were walking. The whole thing was also caught on audio tape. She repeatedly demanded to know who filed the complaint against her, which the police wisely said no to. Right after this, Republican Sec. of State Dianna Duran was being booked for embezzlement to fund a gambling addiction. Because of this, and other allegations of this witch using her political clout to get what she wants, at least three FBI probes are being investigated against her. This once rising star was now fallen to Earth, like most GOP hopefuls.

1)Matt Bevin- No one was worse than this asshole, Teatard schmuck who is now Governor of Kentucky because democrats didn't vote and just fucked a sizable portion of that state's population right in the ass. First, he reversed his predecessor's ruling and now 140,000 former felons cannot vote, a fact that should be unconstitutional. Once you've served your time, you should be allowed to vote. Period. Then he removed clerks names from marriage licenses so douchebags like Kim Davis can stop bitching 24/7 about how God hates gays. He has also said he will repeal Medicaid expansion for the state, which would put millions of people back on the street with no access to health care, even though seven in ten residents there want and/or need it. Once again, who cares about the public when big business is all that matters. So way to go Kentucky voters for putting this dick into office. Remember that come 2016. Congratulations Matt Bevin you are indeed douchebag of the week.

This will be the last douchebag column for 2015. Read my year end round up of the worst of the year this Thursday. Hope everyone had a good holiday. The above idiots sure didn't.

THE ANNUAL WARMONGER SINGALONG: HELLO AND GOODBYE!

To the tune of Hello by Adele, not that 99% of you didn't already figure that out.

Hello, it's me,
I'm lost inside a world of pure insanity.
Trump's in the lead,
God, why?
Cause the rest of these idiots running can really make you cry.

Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dehydrating cause water ain't where it used to be.
But now,
the GOP,
wants us all to believe climate change is one giant fantasy.

There's a problem, with us,
and millions of idiots.

Hello, from the left side.
I must have told you a thousand times,
that your religious nonsense,
has no business on
political discourse
and I hate your guts.

Hello, from the left side.
The right hates gays far and wide,
and abortion,
is a personal choice,
that is none of yours, so butt out
and I hate your guts evermore.

Hello, it's the right,
I am so sick of PC pussies that I really want to fight.
I hope
they go to hell,
where they get served donkey ass and pig balls till their stomach swells.

It's no secret,
That all of us are running out of time.

Hello, from the right side
Hillary's a demon with a huge behind,
She is awful,
and lies all the time,
and we will do whatever we can
to make her lose.

Hello, from the right side,
Let me scream about Benghazi for the millionth time.
And Obamacare,
let's not forget that
and repeal it again,
as we hate it's guts evermore.

Oh, Evermore
Oh, Evermore
Oh, Evermore

Hello, from the normal side,
you guys are crazy left and right wise,
How did we
get to be this
sad and stupid,
and pathetic all at the same time.

Hello from the sane side,
stop acting like children playing in high tide
you'll kill us all,
trying to save your sorry hides,
as we all drown
because of you, goodbye.

BEST AND WORST TV OF 2015

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. In TV's defense, unlike feature films, there was a lot to like about this past season. Films not so much as there were a few that rocked, a lot that were okay and even more that sucked moose balls. But scripted TV is at record highs with over 400 programs to choose from across a plethora of formats. It is quite impossible to watch them all so if your favorite is not on here, chances are I didn't watch it because I have to sleep at some point. That is not to say there were not some stinkers this year as well, which did indeed stink like fish left out on a hot day. Let's see what I thought swam and what sank like a stone.

BEST OF TV 2015

10)Family Guy- A spectacular season for the aging show, especially one of the latest episode which had Peter accidentally shooting Cleveland's son, resulting on claims of racism by angry mobs, as well as Cleveland, toward Peter who is definitely not racist. The best part is when Cleveland takes responsibility for shooting his own son, resulting in the press and mob dispersing quickly as black on black crime is "not news." That's funny. And, unfortunately, true.

9)Fargo- Unlike True Detective (which we will see later on the next part), Fargo's second season was a riot filled with great performances from people like Bookem Woodbine, fat Matt Damon look alike, Jesse Plemons and the always awesome, Jeffrey Donovan. Taking place in 1979, we see young Molly, the cop from the first season now a nine year old girl, and her father who is a cop investigating a mob showdown leading to a bloody finale. A chance death caused by two locals start a mob war that kills almost everyone involved. The fact it was very funny too tells you how much a line they had to walk and succeded.

8)Inside Amy Schumer- This girl had a great year with a hit movie, Trainwreck, a comedy special on HBO, and this show which was the best sketch comedy show of the year (sorry SNL but your star is fading). The "too old to fuck" sketch with Tina Fey and Julie Louis Dreyfus was fantastic as was the half hour spoof of 12 Angry Men where they debated whether Amy was hot enough for TV which won them some awards, which they should have. This woman is not only hot, she's on fire. I look forward to more from her.

7)John Oliver- No fake news show made me laugh harder or think more than Oliver's show, Last Week Tonight. It exposed every hypocrisy out there, spending a lot of time on FIFA, which proved to be one of the most corrupt organizations on Earth. Oliver as the British outsider is pitch perfect in his outrage and his key phrase, "I swear that this is true," never fails to amaze that it is indeed true and almost always shockingly unbelievable. The Daily Show missed out big losing Oliver because while Trevor Noah has done a great job taking over for Jon Steward, Oliver was the heir apparent.

6)Marvel Agent's of Shield- I was on of the few who actually liked this first season and didn't complain like a little girl about the lack of super powers on the show. Well, that is no longer a thing as there are several character that DO have super powers now, the show's writing is still as sharp as ever, and damn if they don't know how to end a season or a midpoint. Last season saw Gemma sucked into a rock that not only has been resolved, but added a new threat as well, and a really interesting one at that. I cannot wait for this show to come back.

5)Walking Dead- Again, I do not care what the whiners had to say about Glenn's "death," I thought this season was really excellent. The first few episodes were so intense I had to drink during it to calm down. There were some narrative flaws, such as the easy way to avoid zombies that no one seems to do except on rare occasions, and a terrible mid season ending episode where both of Jessie's kids deserved to die (I am still hearing mom, Mom, MOM reverberate in my ears), the rest was series gold. Another show I am looking forward to in February.

4)Big Bang Theory- After a rough start with some lame episodes involving Leonard admitting kissing another girl right before he and Penny were getting married seemed contrived, ill advised, and worst of all, not funny, the break up and rekindling of Amy and Sheldon have been comic gold. The two sleeping together for the first time was worth the wait as the rest of the guys went to Star Wars. Hysterical.

3)Daredevil- The show that made me get Netflix streaming was an action packed thrill fest that had great character development, some of the best fight scenes on TV, and a great use of the superhero that was far superior to the still not as bad as you have heard Ben Affleck one. The spin-off Electra was far, far worse. Even the villain, Kingpin, was given a background that made him sympathetic even when he was killing anyone who got in his way. Kudos for that.

2)The Muppets- Yet another show that a lot of people hated, I loved every minute of. Not one episode has gone by where I didn't laugh out loud like when Scooter went flying off the gold cart, the Swedish Chef doing Karaoke, or Gonzo wanting to relive his daredevil days. Much was made about Piggy and Kermit's break up but I found gave the show a lot of heart. It's getting a make over when it returns and I fear the sanitized version may make the show unpalatable to everyone. Here's hoping it is still funny.

1)Ash VS the Evil Dead- My favorite show of the year hands down as Bruce Campbell returns as the aging Lothario Ash, who after stupidly letting the evil out again from the Necronomicon, teams up with two work mates to fight evil all over again. Lucy Lawless has been in a few of the episodes as some one NOT human who also wants the book for reasons yet unknown. Funny, gross and very reminiscent of the films, STARZ had done the impossible and made this work without being derivative or contrived. Thank God this has been renewed for another season because this show needs to go on until Ash is a pile of bones himself. Long live Ash and the deadites.

Honorable Mentions- Dr. Who, Arrow, The Flash, Scorpion, The Nightly Show, The Daily Show, Bill Maher, Supernatural, Brooklyn 99, Mr. Robot, Undateable, @ Midnight, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Elementary, Hawaii 5-0, Fresh Off the Boat, Last Man on Earth, South Park.


WORST OF TV 2015


10)The Slap- You know a show is going to suck when you can't watch the previews without laughing and it's not a comedy. Some bratty kid gets slapped by someone not the kid's parents and all hell breaks loose I guess, as I never saw one second of this show and it was cancelled soon after. Those that did said they sympathized with the guy slapping the kid as he was so out of control to oblivious parents, many said they would have done the same. I'd like to slap whoever thought this was agood idea for a show.

9)Wicked City- Wicked bad rating doomed this show three weeks after it aired. It was something about a serial killer in the 80's, and the only thing that died was the producer's dreams of a mansion in the LA hills from this debacle. In a season where many shows were left to die on their own, this one was one of the few to get axed quick.

8)American Horror Story- What happened here guys? This was the first season that spun off the rails with vampires, ghosts, a haunted hotel and nothing making a lick of sense. Lady Gaga was the one bright spot doing what she could with a boring character that, like everyone else in this show, no one cared about. The worst was Chloe Sevigny, who looked drugged every time she showed up and whose character was so stupid and badly written, I've been looking forward to her death which still hasn't happened. Next season better be WAY better than this drek.

7)Heroes Reborn- Stillborn maybe, this disaster came from a series most of us were glad was gone. The final season ended poorly, and this latest take on it was all over the place, with terrible writing and the same plot failures that doomed it the first time. I made it three episodes in before realizing that everything I hated about this show was still there. Please just stop with this show. No one cares.

6)Minority Report- Based on the movie of the same name, this show died a painful death and at least that one had Tom Cruise and Stephen Speilberg. This one had two leads that looked like they would rather be on any other show, CGI effects that appeared to be done on a laptop, and plot lines that was nothing more than procedural of the week with a little sci-fi thrown in. This would have been more agreeable on Sy-Fy where crap like 12 Monkeys and Helix have some life (both were terrible, just not enough to make this list). This show was one of the first that wasn't exactly cancelled, but was not renewed past the initial episodes either. It will not be missed.

5)SNL- I have been watching SNL since 1975 when I was just a tot, but one who much like today, didn't like going to bed early. There have been ups and downs but this year is just plain frustrating. There is a lot of talent to draw from, minus Kyle Mooney and Beck Bennet whom I have begun to hate, yet the writing is so sub par that many episodes are just painful to watch. One of the funniest women alive is Amy Schumer and her appearance was godawful. How do you make her NOT funny? The women are kicking it right now, led by Leslie Jones, Cecily Strong and Kate McKinnon, who are funny in almost every sketch they do even if the material sucks. The men need to step it up, particularly the news desk which is still not jelling right, with far better work. Maybe it's time to fire everyone and start anew. Almost the entire female cast will go on to bigger and better things. Kyle Mooney could get a new job at Staples. He is making me miss Melanie Hutsell.

4)Best Time Ever- I hate variety shows. They used to be great but for some time now they have become the bane of my existence. The last good one was Viva Variety which ran on Comedy Central back in the 90's with now famous stars, Tom Lennon, Kathy Kinney Silver and Michael Ian Black as Euro-trash hosts to a show that successfully combined music, comedy and stunt work into a viable program. NPH tried to replicate those kind of shows with this wild misfire that I barely got through the first episode. Stop doing these. They suck.

3)Under the Dome- What started off as an interesting take on the Stephen King novel devolved into a combination Matrix/Days of Our Lives plotline that was so uninteresting I tuned out before it ended. Aliens? Really? This was one of my favorite books and had they stuck to the original plans to make this a miniseries, rather than episodic programs, it might have worked. Instead they dragged it out, changed key parts that made the plot soggy, and came up with a truly awful ending. Once people started going in and out of the Dome, I lost interest. And according to the ratings, so did everyone else.

2) True Detective- While I wasn't as enamored with the first season as some, it was still a decent show. This one, which was a whole new take and missing the director who went on to did features, sucked from minute one. The characters were all interchangeable, the plot was incomprehensible, and starred two box office disasters Vince Vaughn and Colin Farrell, who also managed to sink this show as well. If this comes back, it will need a huge rush of adrenaline to make up for this abortion.

1)Knock Knock- Lasting all of two episodes, this terrible game show had Ryan Seacrest showing up at people homes live and getting them to compete for prizes. It's actually even more boring than it sounds. When a cannon was used to blast money up in the air while people fought each other for handfuls of it, it seemed not too far from the Hunger Games. This was one show that thankfully America said NO to and deservedly so.

Dishonorable Mentions- Blackish (still racist), Code Black, anything with a Kardashian, anything on NBC with the word Chicago in it, Stalker, Agent X, Rosewood, Life in Pieces, Blood and Oil, any of the debates, Helix, 12 Monkeys.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: MARTIN SHKRELI!

Some day's it is a pleasure to wake up, turn on the news and feel all is right with world. With all that sucks and blows in society, it is refreshing to see someone as douchey as Martin Shkreli getting arrested for running a Ponzi Scheme, perp walk and all. Let's see those runner ups in another shortened week.

10)Koch Brothers- These assholes are set to pump $900 million, or just shy of a billion, to get a Republican in office, unless it's Donald Trump and then do not be surprised if they switch to Hillary, as she would be far less damaging to the status quo than Trump may be. Since the arrival of Citizen's United, corporate power is on the rise and with it, the dark specter of fascism. We face a lot of uncertainty over how long we have before this new form of government becomes unstoppable.

9)Phillip Chism- The budding psychopath was just 14 when he raped and killed his teacher in a MA school two years ago. While incarcerated, he tried to strangle another female worker. His lawyers pleaded that he was insane but videos and eyewitness testimony say he knew what he was doing and is beyond dangerous. Because of Supreme Court rulings, he can neither be put to death nor given life without parole. That is dangerous as this guy can never leave prison as he is far too evil and now faces a possibility where parole may let him out again. This dick should be dead by tomorrow if common sense was available.

8)LA School System- What a bunch of pussies. This week an obvious hoax terrorist plan was announced online and these idiots panicked and closed the whole school system. The threat was so stupid and beyond belief I cannot comprehend any rational person falling for it. In it, a bullied teen said he and a gang of others had joined ISIS and were going to attack using pipe bombs and guns and many schools would be affected. Then they misspelled Allah which should have been a big clue some idiot teen wrote this who didn't want to go to school that day. To cover his tracks I guess, he sent another to NYC, who immediately didn't believe it and went about their day. Stop falling for this every time because it makes us look weak. Grow a pair and go about your day. If something like this were to happen, there would be dead Muslims knee deep across this country the next day.

7)Bill Cosby- Can this man sink any lower? This week this rapist dick actually sued seven of the women suing him for, wait for it, defamation of character. So he's mad because he raped them and then they had the tenacity to report it? That takes balls. See you on my douchebag of the year list in two weeks, mother fucker.

6)Melissa Perry Harris- What does it take for a person to get fired off of MSNBC? This week, this black racist hit bottom when she started arguing with Tea Party activist/former TV star, Janine Turner, which turned into a new low over who could out-stupid the other. It began with Harris claiming Star Wars was racist because Darth Vader was black, with a black man's voice but when his helmet came off, he was white. She does know the color black is associated with evil (because we fear the dark) and white with good (Light good), regardless of race. Sorry the genetic lottery picked that skin tone for you but understand just because life made the colors of good and evil that way, it doesn't mean we look at black people as all evil or all white people as all good. This column has people of all colors and creeds on it. Turner went on to challenge the assumption, not always using accurate terms, but far better than Harris which may be the first time in history a Tea Party supporter had better facts than an alleged reporter. This woman needs to go.

5)Debbie Wasserman Schultz- Speaking of liberal women I truly loathe, Schultz is coming under fire for her debate schedule that basically buries the next two debates in time slots that even the most die hard viewers, like me, won't be watching as I have better things to do on a Saturday night than listen to three hours of drivel which the MSM will spin in whatever direction they feel like. She screwed up the last election by giving up on it before it even started and now is trying to give us Hillary with no debate on it before hand. Like Harris, this bitch needs to go.

4)Ethan Couch- The Afflunza Kid, fresh of his being captured on video drinking at a beer pong game, and being in violation of his parole because of this, is now missing, having not been to see his probation officer all week. Oddly, the latter part is much more serious than the video and an arrest warrant has been issued for his capture. His mother is also missing and many have feared they have left the country. What a family of dicks. If he gets arrested again, he faces real time behind bars. Now that is a reality show I'd watch.

3)MSM- After the debacle that was this past Tuesday's debate, the media outlets all blew themselves on national TV, telling each other what a great job they did, regardless of the fact that the questions sucked, the followup was nonexistent, and basically it was like listening to Charlie's Brown's parents talk for two and a half hours. By the time it got to closing statement, I had already tuned out. This debate was awful, half of the people shouldn't have even been up there according to their own standards they had set out, and can we please stop having a kiddie table debate as none of those people have any reasonable chance of a single state win let alone the nomination. Start questioning the candidates and calling them on it when they lie or say something dumb which is almost always. When Fiorina started naming off generals that Obama "fired" she named one that quit to run the CIA, one who left in disgrace and another who quit six years before Obama was even President. No one at CNN noticed. Figures.

2)Republicans- What a trainwreck this past week has been. They have a budget deal that looks likely to pass which is a compromise which must taste like ashes to the Tea Party faithful. Compromise, they say, YUCK! In exchange for oil now being sold world wide, democrats got the 9/11 responders bill, some environmental deals and other left wing goodies. Then there was the debate which made all of them look like runner ups for the next election. Half of them said they'd bomb Russia if Putin looked at them funny, a third wants to deport anyone who isn't white, and all of them have economic ideas that would ruin this country. AGAIN! Does no one remember what happened when Bush and the rest of the country was run by Republicans? The economy crashed! And some of you out there want it again. Christie is a blowhard. Fiorina is unfit to run a Dunkin Donuts. Carson appears to be in a coma. Cruz is certifiable. Rubio is the establishment player running in the wring cycle for that. Jeb cannot speak in complete sentences. Leaving Trump at the top of the heap as the rest are so unpalatable. How bad does that make everyone else?

1)Martin Shkreli- The Big Pharma CEO just found out that when the world needs a scapegoat, picking the douchiest one is best. He was arrested this morning on several counts of conspiracy to commit fraud, and fraud, and now faces 20 years behind bars. I couldn't be happier. So the dick who raised two drugs that people need to live to astronomical levels may lose everything. That's funny. His past shows how he made a lot of money in just two years out of college by shorting the system, screwing people out of money and basically behaving like a non-killer psychopath. He once made money short selling a pharmaceutical company while making sure the drugs they had never saw the marketplace, netting him a lot of money with a situation he created. His whole life is filled with awful things he has done and now fate has caught up to him. I laughed myself back to sleep after finding this out this morning. So congratulations Shkreli, you are indeed douchebag of the week and a real contender for douchebag of the year. Right now the police, Republicans and Bill Cosby are also in the hunt. Be back next week for another abbreviated week due to holiday commitments.

WORST. DEBATE. EVER. WHY LAST NIGHT WAS POINTLESS TO EVERYONE NOT A DEMOCRAT!

Holy God, I don't know how many more of these I can take. The winners were Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders who both were most likely doing cartwheels over the possibility of beating any of these idiots in a landslide next year. The losers were people like myself who sat through the entire debacle wondering how in the hell anyone could support any of these idiots with a straight face. Here is a break down of the entire debate:

Donald Trump- I will build a wall, get rid of the Muslims, bring back slavery and make white people great again.

Ted Cruz- I will carpet bomb the enemy but do it in a civilized way. And Russia if I feel like it.

Marco Rubio- I will remain calm, cool and collective which explains why my poll numbers have gone nowhere because obviously Republicans are addicted to chaos.

Ben Carson- I will end North Korea by depriving them of oil. Oh, we don't give oil to them? Nevermind.

Carly Fiorina- I will continue to defy explanation as to why I am even here. Oh and don't forget I ran HP into the ground and will also attack Russia at the drop of a hat.

Jeb Bush- I will continue to come across as weak, whinny and incapable of speaking in complete sentences.

Chris Christie- I too will bomb Russia back to the Stone Age if they so much as look at me funny or tell one, just one, fat joke at my expense.

John Kasich- Not to sound like a broken record, but I too will end Russia my first day in office. And Republicans need to stop harping at one another. Unless their Russian that is.

Rand Paul- I can't believe I'm losing to these guys.

That was pretty much the sum on last night for those smart enough not to watch this drivel. CNN self congratulated themselves for a job well done, even though the questions were terrible, a lot aimed at dethroning Trump rather than explaining actual policy. The first hour was nothing more than the same question about ISIS recycled a dozen different ways with half of the candidates explaining how they would start WW3 which is about as terrible a presidential policy as I can imagine.

The worst part was focus groups LOVED it. They thought Cruz and Christie were awesome in their responses, somehow forgetting that Russia has more nukes than us and we would both be radioactive dust in minutes should a real war start because of these idiots. Have we become so blase towards war, as it has barely affected us for decades, that we fail to understand that we could still lose?

Cruz may have given out classified info last night when discussing the government's questionable data gathering systems, which is being looked into by Congress as we speak. There are also similiar birth questions, ala Obama, that may or may not have merit depending on how accurate some of the "facts" about the case are. Does his mother have a Delaware birth certificate? Did both his parents renounce US citizenship to become Canadian and reverse that again four years later, and if so, does that qualify as "natural born?" Hey you guys started this crap with Obama even after it was long debunked so fair is fair.

The clear losers last night were Fiorina, Bush and Carson, not to mention CNN for their awful questions. Fiorina faded into the background and every time she tried to insert herself into the conversation, the moderators quickly cut her off, which is one of the few positive things I would say about them. She said she would spank Russia if they got too big for their britches, a policy agreed on by half of those on stage and should be grounds for dismissal for the running. This bitch needs to go.
 
Hugh Hewitt is an idiot who asked several terrible questions and was rightfully booed a few times. Blitzer is a fool 24/7 anyway so no surprise there. The worst were the video questions that came from Idiot America and had the weight and presence of piece of belly button lint. Was there really no better questions than the three or four used that were somehow worse than anything Blitzer or Hewitt asked all night? I am sick of fairness and non-objectivity when Republicans stay stupid shit all night and then hear what a great debate it was after from a fawning press. Somewhere, Edward R. Murrow is puking his guts out.

Carson coughed and hacked his way through the debate so much I thought I was watching a commercial for throat lozenges. His sleepy demeanor is wearing thin, his past, most of which is a lie, has come back to haunt him and his knowledge of foreign matters is worse than most house pets. He fumbled on North Korea, had no opinion on immigration and seemed lost most of the night. He's done.

The hands down worst was Jeb Bush, who despite some pundits declaring what a great night he had, just lost the race. Focus groups HATED him, calling him desperate and weak, especially when he went after Trump which flopped almost every time. When Trump backhanded him with the fact that Trump is at 42% and Bush is at 3%, you could practically see teeth flying out of his mouth the blow was so hard. He got no favors here and chances are good that he is all over now. The fact that he is a mushmouth who can't go one sentence without a garbled response makes me questions if his mother didn't drink alcohol like a lush for all her children's pregnancies. That is one inbred family apparently.

The democratic debate is one Saturday. Chances are good, even I won't be watching as I have better things to do on a weekend night before Christmas than see a repeat of this tragedy. Clinton will lie and say 9/11 147 times. Bernie will remind us that this country sucks. Martin O'Malley will struggle with people trying to remember who he is. Then the media will tell us Hillary won regardless of whether she did or didn't. The primaries can't come soon enough.

WHY ALMOST ALL OF THE GOP PRESIDENTAL CANDIDATES SUCK!

Here we sit on the verge of another Presidential debate, one that could be the worst yet as Wolf Blitzer is the moderator and Ted Cruz inexplicably is on the rise. What is wrong with this country to see that man as President? Why pick someone hated across the political spectrum? How do you think the rest of the world will treat us with that moron in office?

Republicans have officially lost their minds. This past week we saw Mitch McConnell hold up the 9/11 first responders bill for political reasons and pass an anti-health care bill which would cause insurance premiums to skyrocket in price, eliminate subsidies and effectively destroy health care for everyone once and for all. Their plan is NO plan, yet some of you out there are happily voting for these retards with gay abandon. Let's take a closer look at the people some of you are thinking would be a great leader of the free world.

Donald Trump- For all the insane nonsense this guy has been spouting about stopping all Muslims from coming to this country, a lot of what he says makes sense. He truthfully called Turkey and Saudi Arabia out for funding ISIS, which they are. He has rightfully pointed out our vetting system is crap as we somehow lack the ability to verify addresses and cannot even look at social media pages. We spy on everyone rather than look at those that might be willing to cause us harm, which then gets lost in a sea of useless information. Say what you like about Donald Trump, he is the only one running for President on the GOP side who isn't either completely nuts or a bought and paid for politician. He's also only one of two that has any chance of winning. There is also the strong possibility he runs as a third party candidate if he loses the nomination, all but guaranteeing the democrats win again in 2016.

Ted Cruz- Where to start with this ass? He has zero people skills. He is hated on both sides of the aisle. His solution to anything seems to be nuke em back to the Stone Age. Cruz is a thorn in the side of the GOP as unlike Trump, if he gets the nod, there is a 100% chance he loses in a landslide. People will show up in droves to vote against him. Trump does have some cross aisle appeal, regardless of what that media keeps telling you, even though much like most of the candidates, chances are good he will still lose. Much like the midterm elections, this one is not shaping up well for the GOP. With Cruz at the top, it's a disaster.
 
Ben Carson- Carson went to the Middle East to bolster his non-existent foreign policy and faded from prominence in the meantime. His numbers have plummeted as even the strongest supporter said he doesn't have what it takes to be President. which he doesn't. Carson is a brilliant neurosurgeon. He is not even a plausible politician. Much like Herman Cain in 2012, his days are over as a candidate. Much like Trump, he has threatened a third party run. Good luck with that.

Marco Rubio- The only person running who has the best chance of winning still is stuck in the mid range numbers. He's young, articulate and Hispanic, as well as full of terrible Republican ideas that GOP voters love for some retarded reasons. Yet he seems to be incapable of getting out of fourth/fifth place. Is it because he doesn't come across as a insane lunatic that voters have shied away from? More likely it is the GOP voter who has had it with establishment Republicans who have been promised things will get better for decades and nothing ever has. You would think democratic voters would get the same message and dump Hillary, but no.

Chris Christie- The fat man from NJ has been rising in the polls, now placing second in NH regardless of the fact that he has run his state into the ground, has demonstrated a tenacity to punish his foes regardless of legal matters, and a temperament better suited for a major league baseball umpire than President. He's still better than Ted Cruz.

John Kasich- I am stunned he's still running after his last dismal debate performance. It's all of nothing after tomorrow night.

Jeb Bush- Will Farrel said it best this past weekend when acting as Jeb's brother George he commented that who would have seen plot twist that he was the smarter one. Jeb has blown through $50 million dollars in ads, most of which are in my area which run non-stop, while seeing his numbers actually tick lower. Time is running out in his campaign that after tomorrow might be game over.

Carly Fiorina- She was actually arguing on CNN this past week that the proven edited Planned Parenthood videos weren't, even though the guy who made them said they were. This level of delusion is just sad and unworthy of her even running for President at this point. As her numbers have fallen off the map, I am stunned she is even on the main stage still.

Rand Paul- This will be his last hurrah before exiting the race. His hopes are lower than Jeb's.

The remaining four in the kids debate are just fooling themselves and should be following Bobby Jindal out the door. We'll see how this all turns out when I return on Wednesday will full coverage over what should be an interesting debate. Considering how little I care about the democrat one on Saturday, it is doubtful I will even watch it. Hillary will lie and scream about 9/11, Bernie will speak the truth and be ignored and O'Malley will fight for the VP spot. The media will then declare Hillary the winner and I will die a little more inside. 

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: MITCH MCCONNELL!

I know many of you out there are wondering why Donald Trump isn't at the top of the heap this week and he would have been had the sleepy turtle in Congress hadn't urinated all over 9/11 first responders in a purely political move that is literally killing them. This guy is a dick. I have Christmas shopping to do this weekend and a big project due Monday so here is an abbreviated week. Let's see those runner ups.

10)Robert Dear- The other religious shooter from the past few weeks got his day in court and, oh boy, did he not disappoint. Removing all doubt about his motives and mental state, Dear interrupted the court 16 times, screaming out things like, "I did it for the babies, and "You wouldn't believe all the blood I saw in there," even though he never made it out of the lobby area. Ted Cruz said recently he was going to nominate this guy to the Supreme Court if he wins. "I like the cut of his jib," he was quoted as saying at a combination anti-Planned Parenthood rally and reunion of the St. John's Home for the Criminally Insane. We can all see this guy is NOT a transgender, liberal no matter how much Cruz wishes it would be.

9)Ted Cruz- Word from the GOP establishment is the two worst people who could win right now are Cruz and Trump. They feel both will lose, and lose badly, in a general election and they are probably right. Cruz, oddly enough, may do worse as he will NOT look to tone down his rhetoric and could give the Democrats control of the Senate and even the House. Trump has some cross-party appeal. Cruz has none. Plus, he is widely HATED in Congress as even his own party finds him arrogant and insufferable. His former college roommate has come forward to say he would rather see ANYONE president than Cruz, including a random lottery. That's says lots. He is rising in the polls, but I still think he's a long shot.

8)Golden Globe nods- Another year, another round of crappy nominations. Can we all admit that some shows like Homeland and Dowton Abbey are nowhere near as good as several years ago? And how in the hell is the Martian a comedy? While there were some surprises like Mad Max for best drama, a lot of them were the same old same old we have been seeing for decades now. Can we please nominate someone else other than the exact same people every year? You might as well as run a rerun and who would know the difference.

7)Chipotle- These guys are in real trouble as their stock continues to slide along with the profits. A string of e-coli through the country was the first shoe, followed by an attack of the norovirus in Boston that sickened over a hundred and twenty people. This is why we need sick days people. Because Chipotle doesn't have sick days, they may be headed the way of the DC-10 which had a similiar path to extinction. Even thought they were the safest plane at the time, three unrelated incidents in a short time doomed them. If anything goes wrong at any Chipotle anywhere, it may be game over for them. Who exactly is still eating anything from them?

6)MSM- All week we saw the modern media trip over themselves for no apparent reason. They hammered on Trump, blatantly lying in some cases. On a CNN focus group, one person said the reason Trump was ahead is the media lies. Ironically, the woman was outed as a Republican plant who works for the GOP in NH so way to go CNN for figuring that out before you went on air. They also showed a free for all in the home of the San Bernadino shooters that bordered on parody when the landlord opened it for them. The MSM is calling Trump's plan to ban Muslims as anti-American and illegal when in fact both Carter and FDR barred Iranians for the former and Japanese, Germans and Italians for the latter during their tenure. The Immigration and National Act of 1952 gives legal precedent to ban any foreign nation or religion from entering the country. Japan does it all the time with Muslims, allowing none to immigrate and frowning upon the religion in general. In all of Tokyo, there is one imam and less than 100,000 followers in the entire nation. Try practicing Christianity in Saudi Arabia to see how they handle it. If a President decided to ban Muslims from coming here, he can regardless what or what you are hearing.

5)Obama's Oval Office Speech- What the hell was that? In exchange for knocking all my shows off by twenty minutes, I had to listen to President Dumbass tell me stuff that either wasn't true or was failing miserably. He gave no new way of defeating ISIS, actually arguing the steps he was taking were working even though no rational person anywhere agrees, including the military. Then, he went off on guns, as if that was the big problem here, and then talked about how all Muslims are not bad as the TV screams about yet another attack somewhere by Muslim extremists. Easily one of the worst oval office speeches that said nothing new and just regurgitated the usual brand of crap most of us are tired of. This is why Trump is rising in the polls because Obama seemed to have missed the part where Muslim extremists are killing us across the planet and political correctness may have helped this latest attack when people were afraid to report their neighbors for fear of being labeled racist. You can't have it both ways Obama. They are a threat yes, and that should be addressed as well as warning the knuckle heads out there not to target every Muslim. I know you're half out the door but for God's sake be a freaking leader for once.

4)San Bernadino Conspiracy Theories- Some people have way too much time on their hands. Fresh off the latest round of crap from Sandy Hook truthers who are pissed that the latest book claiming the whole thing was hoax (it wasn't!) is banned from Amazon. Good, as the book excerpts I have read are easily dismissed nonsense. There is plenty of evidence there were no crisis actors and the school was fully functioning at the time as transcripts of local PTA meetings there are available on line. Now we have people claiming that early reports of three shooters and that they were white is evidence of a cover-up and not the reality that eyewitnesses are the least reliable form of proof there is. This WAS a terrorist attack as all the evidence points that way. This is not a false flag. Grow up.

3)Turkey/Russia spat- This situation is getting worse with each passing day. Unbelievably, British planes were given the okay to shoot down Russian planes if so necessary. Yeah, that won't start WW3 or anything. Turkey and Russia are still going at it with diplomacy between the two all but dead. Turkey has invaded into Northern Iraq, pissing the Iraqis off, under the guise of fighting ISIS but may be after oil fields in the North near Mosul. Russia is bombing the Turkish border, infuriating the Turks more. This is one bullet away from nuclear disaster.

2)Donald Trump- He's getting a lot of heat for his anti-Muslim actions, but reality is his base loves this. I do not agree that holding a whole religion responsible for the actions of some is a good idea but I also do not disagree on him that our vetting process sucks. Dumber things he said this week include stopping the Internet, as if that is a thing that is possible, and preventing US Muslims from returning home, which would be unconstitutional, which have done nothing to dent his poll numbers. The fact that the rest of the GOP is even dumber may be why.

1)Mitch McConnell- This week, in a solely political move,  he removed the 9/11 liability fund from a transportation bill because democrats refused to give him some big break for oil companies. As a result, all the brave men and women who tried to clean up after 9/11 and are now sick because our government lied about the air quality, will lose the health insurance subsidies they were getting, helping them pay for expensive treatments, that the US is responsible for. This is an abomination and a slap in the face to those that did nothing but try to help. John Stewart has tried to get some press about this but as always, they were too busy storming through the terrorist's home in vain hopes of finding some clue the FBI missed. They may be incompetent but no one is THAT stupid. McConnell should be impeached for being a traitor if this language isn't put back in immediately and anyone who actually voted for this ass should take a long hard look in the mirror because you are a dick too. So congratulations McConnell and his supporters you are indeed douchebag of the week.

WHY TRUMP IS BOTH RIGHT AND WRONG ABOUT MUSLIMS PLUS PUTIN'S NUKE THREAT TO THE ISLAMIC WORLD!

As a writer and a person with a love for political humor, Trump has been a gold mine. Last night, Trevor Noah called Trump "the white ISIS" and Larry Wilmore's actors in Trump themed sketches kept walking off set in a hilariously staged protest telling Trump to go fuck himself. I agree. His postulating that all Muslims are horrific people is bigoted and sad. However, he is also not wrong that we have to be doing a better job screening those coming here after the debacle that seems to have been the visa system that allowed the San Bernadino female shooter here. Even a rudimentary look at her should have disqualified her visa, especially as the address she gave was fake, which can be uncovered in seconds using a damned computer. But instead, we have idiots on the left telling us how safe allowing Syrian refugees in knowing full well their visa system is broken.

Looking up past presidents and immigration, I discovered that Jimmy Carter stopped all Iranians coming here during his tenure, allowed only under extreme conditions, like medical or humanitarian reasons. JIMMY CARTER! No one jumped down Carter's throat for that, so why is now different? And while I believe a market ban on Muslims is a bad idea, having a far more stringent visa system seems highly appropriate and necessary. Once again we have two sides talking past one another with no one actually listening to the other anymore. This is how societies die.

Obama didn't help with his utterly worthless speech the other night. He spent most of the time talking about guns, like that was the big takeaway from this, and not going after innocent Muslims for revenge, which is important. But, he seems to have left out the part that it is this "don't be racist" crap that led to people NOT reporting problems they saw next door to the California terrorists for that exact fear of being labeled racist. Sorry Mr. President, you can't have it both ways. We HAVE to profile Muslims at this point the same way we should be profiling young black men for robberies and old white men for fucking up the planet. If we were, that information haystack you cannot sort through would be much smaller and effective.

Likewise, where was the part of the speech aimed at American Muslims? Fayook's father saw signs of extremism in his son and did nothing as did several other family members. It is behavior like that that has to change, lest blowhard's like Trump get even more popular. We need Muslims to rat out their insane brethren for their own survival. Understand that if one Muslims kills the right person, say Donald Trump for example as he's painted a huge target on himself now, how do you think his followers are going to respond? If you guessed in an unrelenting orgy of death and destruction, you would be right.

It should be noted that for all the brouhaha the right is heaping on Trump, many have said equally stupid things. Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz said only Christian refugees should be let in and then showed no idea how to prove that in real world talk. Ben Carson dismissed the idea of a Muslim President, which let's face it, isn't likely to happen any time soon unless you believe Obama is a secret one, which is highly unlikely. Although, I admit it would be hysterical if after he left office he told everybody he really was a Muslim born in Kenya and there was nothing anyone could do about it now.

The press isn't much better lately with this cowardly notion that objectivity is better than being Edward R.Murrow and failing to call people out on either side of the aisle for saying idiotic crap. Liberals are showing that exact same anger as the right when many on Twitter called for the death of Trump, which is not cool even if he is a dumbass.Wesley Clark, a once time Democratic presidential candidate, said internment for Muslims may be in the cards earlier this year and is in fact being discussed behind closed doors for activation of REX 84. How come this isn't brought up by our fading fast MSM?

Trump has engaged a large portion of the country, some whom may never have voted before to voice their anger in the same way that Hitler and others like him came to power. The facts state that if more attacks happen, Trump may indeed win everything. If we start having intelligent conversations about this and stop more attacks in the process, Trump may win the nomination and stall hard in the general election. It is too soon to say which will happen.

Meanwhile, Putin just threatened ISIS with nukes saying that while he would never want to use nuclear weapons on them, the option does exist. This could also be seen as a thinly veiled threat to the West, who still seem addicted to the idea of getting rid of Assad as coalition forces may have  bombed Syrian government positions recently. Oops. There is growing evidence that all of this is over oil, where the West wants a pipeline for countries like Qatar and Saudi Arabia and Assad would rather deal with Iran and Russia. If we just got off of oil already, this problem would be moot.

Russia has also gotten a hold of the black box from the downed plane that they say will show for a fact they never were in Turkish territory. No matter what the results, I am sure the Turks will cry about them tampering with the data, true or not. The row between them is getting worse with Turkey recently ousting Russian journalists from the country and Russia telling them they seriously thought about a military option after their plane was shot down but decided not to as they didn't want to be seen as bloodthirsty demons and have to kill a lot of Turkish people.

One of their papers, Pravda, outlines their strategy, should war happen. In it, they describe a first strike nuclear attack on all government and military targets in Turkey. Another one uses conventional weapons to decimate the country. Both scenarios suggest the West will not get involved, nor NATO, lest an all out nuclear war ensue and that is something that could go either way. If we do nothing, NATO dies with it. If we do something, we all die together. Neither option is that good but I do wonder how much we want to defend Turkey at the expense of the planet. Erdogan is an insane leader and thank God someone like him has no nukes. It is unlikely the Russians would attack with nukes first but depending on his it plays out, may use them eventually.

We are facing some dark days ahead of us with a looming economic collapse, all out war and a Trump presidency. I don't know which of those is worst.

WHAT THE FALLOUT FROM THE SAN BERNADINO SHOOTING MEANS FOR ALL OF US!

Democrats and Republicans are all going after one another over who to blame over the shooting rampage by two ISIS sympathizers. Democrats have, of course, gone after guns while Republicans echo their desire to have one armed regardless of mental status. Both arguments suck and as a result, once again nothing will change.

Obama gave a speech from the Oval Office last night, only his third since President, and said nothing of any importance or relevance. Shocker. We can all plainly see that what our idiot President is doing is NOT working, yet all I heard was "stay the course." Are you fucking kidding me at this point? There was nothing of any real hope that this man has the slightest grasp as to what we are up against and his ignorance is going to get a lot of people killed.

A Fox News analysis pundit, Ralph Peters, called Obama a "total pussy," and he's not wrong. I liked just about everything about Jimmy Carter except his pacifism which set the stage for problems we are sill facing today, which is why I consider him one of the worst presidents ever. One of the reasons George W Bush was THE worst president ever was he was also a baby who refused to use overwhelming force against any of the countries we attacked, even if we wrong for attacking at least one of them, thus leading to all the problems we have today. War should only be used as a last result, but if you do use it, knock your opponent into next week and stop worrying about civilian casualties. In today's day and age, it is impossible to not kill civilians, especially when women and children are being used as soldiers.

If we want to win against ISIS, who several on the Republican side are rightfully comparing to fights against fascism, we had better be prepared to fight this as an actual war and not the skirmish crap we have been doing ever since WW2. Start bombing all ISIS controlled areas and turn them and everyone in it to dust. If we kill 10,000 for every one they do, they won't have much fight in them for too long as they will all be dead. We have to start leaning hard on countries like Turkey and Saudi Arabia to modernize or face economic issues. Most importantly, we have to get off of oil which with today's tech is not that far fetched of we really want to do it. A side benefit will be helping the environment that even Exxon Mobil noted in a recent report that said if the Republicans get their way the Earth could heat 7-12 degrees by the end of the century and then, their business will be bankrupt because most of the people will be gone. When oil companies are starting to catch on over the right wingers, you know the world has turned upside down.

The biggest take away from this is something I have been telling people for months now: there is no safe vetting process to protect us from vengeful idiots. The female shooter's background should have raised numerous red flags, including her alleged attending of the infamous Red Mosque in Pakistan that preaches hateful shit and should have been bombed out of existence years ago. And before you remind me that Pakistan has nukes, there is no reason special forces couldn't get in, blow the place up and make it look like locals did it. That is how you attack things like this without tanks and planes and plausible deniability. If the people get caught, you Mission Impossible them and deny any ties to the US. The main thing is to do so you do not get caught and it could be possible, especially if you use Middle Eastern looking soldiers.

Now intelligence has also surfaced that ISIS has been using the refugee plan to get into the US or other countries, a not so far fetched idea as that is exactly what happened here. The democrats bent over backwards to tell us that there was no way the highly vetted refugee program would ever allow terrorists in and then find one used an equally complicated fiancee visa to get into here with little vetting due to budget issues. A spokesperson said as much the other day. Yet, allowing Syrian and other Muslim refugees in are still on the books. This is a recipe for disaster.

The Republicans should likewise be ashamed of themselves for shooting down background checks for all as well as unbelievably one that would not allow anyone on the no fly list from getting guns. Then they turned around and gutted Obamacare, Planned Parenthood funding and took money away from mental health services. Outrageous.

The polls show Bernie gaining, Hillary slaughtering most in the general election (as well as Bernie) while the Republicans set themselves up for yet another Presidential loss. Even when the democrats do something stupid, as their defense of the refugee program and insistence that ISIS is not a problem, the Republicans do something even dumber.

ISIS has been trying to get WMDs and has outlined a plan for world domination. This is the kind of ideology that cannot be tolerated and peaceful methods would take a generation to take hold. Our only option at this point is to treat ISIS like a cancer and destroy it once and for all. We can't follow Obama's lead to nowhere because that way is a sure fire path to a much bigger problem and perhaps, billions dead. ISIS is a problem, Muslims are NOT peaceful (neither are Christians or Jews or any other religion) and we have start looking at this factually and not through liberal rose colored glasses. Make no mistake that this IS a clash of civilizations as Muslim and Christian, even Western, ideals are not compatible. In the end, I'll pick the one that only targets gays and abortion clinics and once the Muslims have gone the way of the dinosaur, we can go after them next. Now mind you, I am not advocating violence against anyone, just a statement of fact over how the world is going to go. If we continue down this path, it is only a matter of time that out inaction leads to thousands or much more, dead. And after that happens, genocide will be the flavor of the day for both sides.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: RELIGION

Eons ago when I went to college, I wrote a paper saying the two most likely ways the world would end was either by religion or economics and damn if both aren't competing head to head over which is going to happen. Economic reality suggest a strong possibility that sometime next year, earlier than later, our economy may implode. The sad part is due to a literal explosion of Islamic attacks worldwide, most of which you are not hearing about, things may get even worse much sooner than that. And it's not just Islam but Christianity that is making people stupid as well with dangerous fools supporting people like Cruz and Carson because of evangelicals who should be classified as mentally ill at this point. In the last week, we had two shooters who killed people due to religious beliefs that are not true. Maybe it's time we end religion altogether and start a new society devoid of out dated beliefs that fly in the face of reason. But as history shows, that won't happen without a lot of dead bodies. Let's see those runner ups.

10)Ethan Couch- Affluenza boy is back after escaping prison due to the rich being able to literally get away with murder in this country. For those who do not remember, he was 16 and drunk when he plowed into another car and killed four people. He then got off by claiming that because he grew up rich, he didn't understand consequences like everyone else. And it worked. However, as part of his probation, he was prohibited from drinking again and was consequently caught on video playing beer pong by someone who probably hated his guts and with good reason. Maybe now he can go to prison where the rest of us would have wound up in.

9)Don Blankenship- The CEO of Massey Energy was found guilty this week in a case involving the deaths of 29 miners in unsafe conditions. And what did he get for this heinous crime? A guilty verdict on a misdemeanor count that at worst will get him one year in prison. WTF? For this, the Labor Department is happy? Please! Here we have yet another case where the rich get away with murdering people and receives a slap on the wrist. If I went out and killed 29 people, the best I could hope for is life without parole. Wake up America and realize what kind of second class citizens we have become. Stop bitching about "white privilege" which doesn't exist unless you have money too. I would like you all to remember that OJ bought his freedom the same way. The court system sees only one color: green.

8)Jabari Dean, Clive Higgins and Kayla Simone McKelvey- Here we have cases of "black privilege" and racism that are just a smidgen of what happened this week in the black community. First we have Jabari Dean who was arrested for making a terrorist threat at the University of Chicago when he said he'd kill 16 white people for every bullet Laquand McDonald was shot with. Then, for some asinine reason, got sent back to house arrest from Federal Prison and a judge ordered the school he'd just threatened to take him back. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Must be nice to be black because a white guy would be facing hate crime charges, which ONLY apply to white people, years in prison and certain explusion. Meanwhile, this dick is worried about future job prospects. Fuck him. And then we have McKelvey who did much the same, sending in a fake death threats to Black Lives Matter supporters on Twitter at Kean College in NJ and making it look like white people were responsible. She faces a single count of creating false alarms. Yeah, that will teach her. Lastly we have Clive Higgins, a now former CT cop was charged this week with allegedly faking a racist letter he "found" in his mailbox. In it, the letter said thing like the KKK was coming for him, white power ruled and he didn't belong in the department all on official police stationary with letterhead. Unfortunately, his story soon fell apart and an additional officer was let go as well, who Higgins said told him to write the letter in the first place. So bitch all you want but black people are every bit as racist as everyone else.

7)Garry McCarthy- On the flip side, one of the people who helped cover up the murder of Laquand McDonald was fired this week in a vain attempt for Rohm Emmanuel to keep his job. McCarthy was the Chief of Police who was brought in to clean up one of the most corrupt departments in the country. Shocker, he failed. Even worse, recently released police reports show at least five officers lied about what happened that night and every one of them should not only be fired but brought up an charges as well. The Chicago Police Department cannot be trusted and until real change happens that is not going to change.

6)James Deen- The now former porn star got a Bill Cosby awakening when at least six porn co-stars accused him of abuse and rape. Here was a guy with cross over appeal, who even appeared in the not as bad as you would have thought The Canyons, with Lindsey Lohan, when this just ended his career. Studios have all dropped him and criminal charges may be pending in some cases. It has raised issues of consent of porn shoots and gives the struggling industry another black eye.

5)John McCain and Lindsay Graham- These two numnuts have started to actually suggest going up against Russia in some sort of lethal death wish that only they have. They do know Russia has even more nuclear weapons than us right? Thank God, Obama won versus this ass or we'd be all eating nuclear dust by now. Anyone suggesting attacking Russia is not fit to be anywhere near politics and Lindsay Graham wonders why he is near the bottom of the barrel. Go away you Southern fop.

4)Hillary Clinton- A top Jeb donor said he'd vote for Hillary over Trump any day which is what the establishment will do what they can to crush him. She didn't help her cause any this week when she repeated the long ridiculed call of 9/11 when talking about Wall Street for a second time. She does know America hated that response right? Sanders is going up according to Reuters which has a five day poll that shows a 15 point gain against Hillary. I would also like to point out that Obama was only one point off of where Bernie is at the same time period and look how that turned out.

3)Liberals and Guns- Because of the spate of shootings we have had lately, it was inevitable that gun control would raise it's ugly head. Now in some cases I think making it harder to get a gun is fine and background checks should be the norm. But banning guns altogether as some on the left want is as dumb as saying you want deport 11 million illegals. It is quite simply never going to happen. But much like Trump and his fantasies, we keep hearing about nonsense stats, like 355 mass shootings this year when the actual number is 12 and how getting rid of guns which make us safer. Just today, several people got stabbed in London by a terrorist, their condition unknown but said to be serious. In China last year, a man with a knife killed 35 people. In England, knife attacks have risen 4000% since their gun ban. People will always want to kill one another and guns are just one facet of that. I just wish the left would understand that too.

2)Republicans, Guns, and Obamacare- Not to be outdone on the stupid scale, Republicans killed a bill that would have strengthened back ground checks, which 90% of the public want, including most gun owners, as well as a bill that would have prevented people on the no fly list from getting weapons. That last one is just stupid. What possible reason do you have for that? They say it's to prevent people who might be accidentally on it. All three of them. Great. Then they went and passed yet another anti-Obamacare bill that would increase everyone's costs ten fold by getting rid of subsidies, mandatory acceptance, Planned Parenthood funds and, my favorite, cuts money to mental health clinics which is what they keep bitching about as underfunded! It faces a thankful Obama veto but understand GOPers, this is what you are voting for: the end of America as you know it when our economic and health care system fall apart once and for all. These guys suck.

1)Religion- I have officially had it with religion. Last week, we had a Christian nut bag shoot up a Planned Parenthood over a long discredited idea that they were engaging in selling illegal body parts. This week, two well off Muslims, one US born, shot up a Christmas Party at the male shooter's office, killing 14 and injuring dozens of others. These two were self radicalized idiots who epitomize everything people hate about Muslims. The fact that the wife was allowed in after a vetting process shows how unreliable said process really is. Here, the far right has a now proven point. The Germans are accusing Saudi Arabia of being part of the problem, which they are, because their Wahhabi faith is dangerous and needs to be put down. The end result is the genocide coming for Muslims. It was reported today that ISIS is seeking weapons of mass destruction to use somewhere in Europe, most likely England for retaliation for their upscaled bombing campaign against them. The first attack that kills thousands will result in people killing Muslims on a massive scale wherever they may be throughout the Western world. There will be nothing governments will be able to do to stop this as the murder rate will be overwhelming and deadly, with hundreds of thousands who will mobilize against them. The best bet will be for countries like America to activate Rex 84 and use interment camps to stop the slaughter. It was reported today that the Pentagon is actively looking at this kind of scenarios that they say may be imminent. This is a warning for all Muslims worldwide, if you know of someone who is hell bent on carrying out a terrorist threat, stop them by any means necessary. It may be as simple as one nutter killing an important figure up to a WMD attack that will end the Middle East and everyone connected to it. Your lives are in great danger. Give up religion, especially Islam, which just like Christianity, is NOT a religion of peace, but one of violence, death and destruction. All Religion needs to go and let's walk into the sunlight of reason together. But that won't happen as too many of you out there will never hear the truth, holding your fingers in your ears screaming LALALA at the top of your lungs. These people need to die and will if things go south quick. I just don't want to see it. So congratulation religious fools, you may end this world once and for all and are indeed douchebags of the week.