Thursday, December 31, 2015

DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR 2015: MARTIN SHKRELI!

No one epitomized everything that is wrong with this country than the most hated man in America: Martin Shkreli. He was a combination of Big Pharma, greed, our heath care system, and millennials, all wrapped up in that stupid smile you so wanted to slap off his face. There was no single person I wanted to see get his comeuppance more than this ass, and there were a surprising amount of that late this year. As Blackadder once said "My God is quick these days." Let's see those runner ups.

10)MSM- Wow does our media suck. There were so many missed stories about terror attacks in countries like Nigeria, Lebanon and Yemen, you would have thought they were told to NOT report it. The debates have been worse than usual, mostly thanks to inane debate questions and a complete lack of follow up when candidates blatantly lie to the camera. Brian Williams tells one lie after another and gets demoted to basic cable for it, while everyone else does the same and gets a pat on the back. Fox is biased, MSNBC is corrupt and CNN is incompetent. Can we please get a real news channel? Please? The worst was Rolling Stone for filing a rape story that never happened and had they done even the slightest bit of research, would have seen it was crap. People lives were ruined by this. Do better. Much better.

9)BLM and Racism- It has been a mixed bag for this group who for every smart thing they do like protest in Chicago or Baltimore, then they turn around and go after Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton and other political figures that are their best hope for change. Meanwhile, they let the GOP sail right by. Not smart. They should read the epitaph of OWS who did the exact same thing to their own peril. If you block highways, stores and airports, all you are going to do is piss people off. If you stage constant protests outside of the mayor's office or police station, you are much more likely to get support for your cause. And for the record, saying Black Lives Matter comes across to white society as ONLY black lives matter. The reality is, white people are also being killed by cops, it's just not getting as much press and see above as to why. We are all in this together so stop making just about you.

8)The Police- It has not been a good year for the boys in blue. Every time they do something nice, some douche cop has to go and kill an unarmed man, usually black. Baltimore killed Freddie Grey in custody and they still couldn't get a conviction. Oddly, there were bigger riots over it happening than the verdict. Chicago has gone off the rails executing black people with impunity. They delayed a video for a year that showed one cop executing a black guy for no reason which already cost the Chief of police his job and may take down the mayor and AG as well, which it should. Then just the other day, trigger happy dicks shot and killed a 19 year old black man with mental issues and his 55 year old female neighbor. Needless to say, people were pissed. But two specific cops make the top list of douchebag here. The first, Eric Casebolt, the cop who decided a Captain Kirk shoulder roll would be really cool as he took down a 15 year old black girl at a pool party. This was a source of endless hilarity, especially after he got fired. But no one was worse than "hero" cop, Joe Gliniewitz, who staged an elaborate suicide to cover up a really sleazy life. Not only was he embezzling from a charity he ran, but was also having multiple affairs, including one with his son's wife, which may have been arranged as part of a military scam as well. He was also a notorious drunk and possible rapist. What a guy. His wife and son are also facing charges for helping in the scams. I hope they get life.

7)Deflategate and the NFL- This has been a banner year for mock scandals. Pretty much everything thrown at Hillary was nonsense, the press invented scandals wherever they could, but this was garbage from the start. Brady got thrown under the bus by jealous owners pissed they couldn't beat the Patriots ever so they threw a snit fit, which continued even after they were cleared of any wrong doing by a judge. The odd part is that even when other teams cheated, like Buffalo did by playing music when the Pats had the ball, this was never addressed. The refs this season have been the worst ever, due to retirement by many which left too many newbies to blow call after call. Peyton Manning has been slammed by Al Jazzera for taking steroids, which he denies, the person who made the claim denies, and seem to have zero proof overwise, yet they ran the story anyway. Way to go MSM again. The worst of the bunch was Roger Godell who seems to have no idea what he is doing anymore. He screwed over Pats owner Robert Kraft, who gave a scathing rebuttal to his former friend, who then even after losing, filed an appeal which stats say has less than a 1% chance of success. Someone replace this ass with someone who knows what he is doing.

6)Random douchebags- This year brought three new faces and one old one to the forefront, most of whom got served before the year's end. George Zinmerman faced new charges this year for assault, which were dropped, got shot at by some other loon with a gun, painted weird pictures of things like the Confederate Flag and tweeted pictures of Trayvon Martin's dead body. Still waiting for fate to catch up to him. Three others were not so lucky. Who can forget Dr. Walter Palmer who shot Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe, and had to go into hiding because of it. The good news is that big game hunters are going to have a harder time getting their pelts back into this country who have banned them now. Then there was Ethan Couch, the Affluneza teen who skated away from justice with the novel idea that he was too spoiled and rich to know right from wrong. Well after a video surfaced of him at a party with alcohol, which is against his probation, he and his mom fled to Mexico, where they were caught almost immediately as they never got rid of their cell phones. He faces 120 days in prison. She faces up to ten years. Good luck with the Affluenza defense again. The worst of the bunch was Bill Cosby who solidified his role as America's biggest serial rapist. Over fifty woman came forward this year to accuse him of rape, which he not only denied, but sued eight of them for defamation. Ouch. But this ass was put in his place just this week when he was arrested for a 2004 rape on a lesbian. Chances are good many of the women from his past will show up to testify against him. Way to ruin your legacy.

5)Religious Extremists- There were a lot of these this past year. Here at home we had lunatic shooter Robert Dear who killed four at Planned Parenthood, Kim Davis and Mike Huckabee holding a rally that looked like a bad Hee Haw sketch, and Josh Dugger got caught fondling his siblings, having lots of extra martial affairs and possibly even beating up a porn star/hooker. Good times guys. Then we had the Muslim lunatics like the Charlie Hebdo shooting, the Paris Massacre and the San Bernadino shooters just to name a few. These guys are allegedly trying to start the final war which is odd as if that happens, Muslims genocide is inevitable. The biggest ass in all of this is Turkish leader Erdogan who shot down a Russian plan, just because he wanted to, and as NATO members, got us one step closer to all out nuclear war. Countries like Saudi Arabia and Turkey are fanning the flames of hatred, using proxy armies to get what they want, just like Hamas and Hezbollah are and the whole world may erupt because of this. We are dangerous close to an extinction event and these assholes are clamoring for it.

4)Democrats- This has not been a stellar year for anyone in politics. Obama has tried to sell us the TPP, which is nothing more than a corporate takeover of America. Hillary is still lying about everything. Know that just like Obama, if she gets into office, all her campaign promises will disappear. Other than Bernie Sanders, no one wanted to run against her, including Joe Biden. This is not good news for democracy where this side has too few candidates and the other side has too many. The worst of the bunch is Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a harpy of a woman who could only come out of swamp state like Florida. She lost democrats the election in 2014 by giving up on it before it even started, helped sell the odious TPP to the rest of electorate and is now trying to give Hillary the nomination by scheduling debates when no one will watch. I hate this woman.

3)Republicans- These guys were on fire this year with stupid shit. Mitch McConnell played politics with 9/11 first responders health. Tom Cotton wrote a letter to Iran that should have got him arrested for treason. Former Governor, John Rowland, went back to jail for working on a political junket which he is barred from doing. That one made me happier than most as he single handedly destroyed the movie business in that state and cost me my career in that industry. Pretty much everyone running for President has been a failure. Carly Fiorina and Ben Carson are idiots that flared out once the rest of the country figured that out. Ted Cruz is the most loathed man in politics yet second in the race. Jeb Bush is all but done as he cannot string a single sentence together. John McCain joined Lindsey Graham in their insane desire to bomb Russia. But no one has been a bigger douchebag than Donald Trump. He has insulted women, Mexicans, Muslims and most everyone else, yet still has a commanding lead. His opponents are why this happening as they are somehow worse.

2)Millennials- This group was very close to the top for their outrageous position on things all across the country. They complained about racism even if none existed. They complained about sexism when none existed. They complained about food, not quality but how it was served, somehow unaware that there is no rule book when food is concerned, just is it good or not. Who gives a crap how your General Tso's chicken was prepared? If you are in college and the food doesn't make you wish you were at Taco Bell, consider yourself lucky. These spoiled brats screamed about safe spaces, went after journalists who dared to have an alternate opinion, and made even the most milquetoast name a problem. This is what happens when everyone gets a trophy, no one is taught to be better, and everyone develops PTSD when someone calls them a bad name. Time to grow up people. Especially Oberlin College and their food snit. Be glad you have food to eat unlike places in Africa.

1)Martin Shkreli- I, and million of others, clapped their hands with joy when this douchebag of the year got perp walked for fraud, conspiracy and other charges that could land him 20 years in prison. Before that, he was a failed hedge fund manager, thus the crimes, and a Pharmaceutical investor who was buying patents to drugs and jacking up the cost astronomically high. He may have literally killed people. But he wasn't alone in this and exposed how big companies like Pfizer and Merck have done the exact same thing, just not as obvious. They are certainly pissed at him and is probably why is facing charges rather than being ignored like the others. If you shine a spotlight in something the powers that be don't want you to, you will be taken care of. It's one of the reasons Donald Trump better be careful. So congratulation Martin Shkreli you are indeed douchebag of the year.


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