The GOP had a meltdown this week, as the smarter of those running for President quit, while the rest embarrassed themselves almost to a man. I can't think of single Republican running who didn't. That is quite a feat. Democrats didn't do much better as one quit, one lied her ass off (and got called on it by everyone) and the other better be President because the rest of the morons will kill is all. Let's see those runner ups in a messed up week.
10)Corporations- The true leaders of the world passed a symbolic TPP this week, as it still has to be ratified by each individual country. If it passes here, America will cease to be. Corporate fascism will be our new way of life, which is why this next Presidency is so important. I cannot stress how bad this pact is and I read all 6000 pages of it when it came out. Some companies are showing how greedy they are, and are destroying themselves in the process. Uber cut it's payment plan for employees, I mean independent contractors, for the third time, now paying less to the drivers while increasing the share they take as well. Fuck Uber. Yahoo had a meltdown this week as their CEO, Marissa Mayer, pilots a sinking ship. Yahoo CEO's of past demonstrate fully how overpaid and incompetent these, ahem, yahoos, were. Mayer tried to start a web channel, like Hulu, but forgot to actually have any programming on it except the fading Community which literally no one watched anymore. When it failed, it cost them $43 million. This is a drop in the bucket to the series of mistakes this company has done previous to her tenure, such as turning down multi-billion buyout deals for ridiculous amounts of money and for some inane reason, turned down chances to buy both Google AND Facebook before they became the giants they are today. Yahoo is doing so badly, 42% of employees will be out of work by the end of the year. Those higher ups however will walk away with multi million dollar severance plans while everyone else gets squat. How is that fair? And lastly there is Dunkin Donuts which posted a rare 4th quarter loss, which they blamed on McDonald's all new, all day breakfast plan and I blame on the fact their shitty donuts suck hard now. I've been eating these donuts since I was a tot and they have changed for the worse over the past few years. More corporate cost cutting as the donuts are frozen and delivered now with a pittance of choices and a dollop of filling, so fuck off comes to mind. I can go to my local supermarket and get fresh made donuts for half the price. That's what's killing your profits. Corporations are using us. Wise up America.
9)Gloria Steinem- I am not a fan of this troll. When she was on Bill Maher this week I fast forwarded right through her because I knew she was going to say something that would make me angry. As I discovered later, I was right. She claimed the only reason young women were voting for Bernie was because of the fact that so many young boys were. Oh gag me with a spoon. HHHUUURRRRLLLL! For a person allegedly looking after women's rights, this was one sexist statement against them. So young women only think with their genitals and can't be trusted to make rational decisions? What kind of fucked up feminist are you? Women should be treated as equals with men in almost all ways and who they vote for is definitely one of them. Feminism is a philosophy that thinks that women are SUPERIOR to men, which they aren't. Neither are men and we should all act accordingly. Telling this dumb bitch to shut the hell up is a good start.
8)North Korea/Turkey- These two countries are apparently having a contest over who can end the world first. Oddly enough, Turkey's misadventures are even worse than the reclusive North Korea, if you can believe it. Korea sent up a rocket, allegedly to put a satellite in orbit, but most likely a test of their ICBM system. Needless to say, everyone panicked about it, but is reality, this is small potatoes compared to the media black out on what is going on on the Turkish/Syrian border. According to Russia, Turkey and Saudi Arabia are massing troops for an invasion against Assad and might engage with Russian forces as well. WTF? Have these two countries lost their mind? Expect WW3 if this goes down.
7)Zika Virus and the Media- This story is yet another booga booga story by the MSM with little facts to support it. Why is this little known disease suddenly so virulent and everywhere? Because it isn't. The AP reports are factually wrong, understating the amounts of US cases while making it also seem that all of Brazil is infected with only six confirmed cases of microcelephaly (otherwise known as pinheads to the crass). Then, the AP reports wrongly that there are 2500 cases of microcelephaly in the US (which even the CDC acknowledges are not all from the Zika virus, as there are other reasons for this defect) but is actually 25,000 according to peer reviewed studies. How did they get that number that wrong? 80% of people who have the Zika virus will experience no symptoms from it. This is isn't even the common cold which is far worse. Can we please stop hyping every last stupid disease that rears it's ugly head no matter how inconsequential it is? A pregnant woman in the slums of Brazil has a greater chance of being eaten by monkeys than getting the Zika virus, as the stats do prove. Enough with the hype. There have been six whole confirmed cases of the Zika virus causing a birth defect in Brazil. Six! Until that number sees a lot more zeros, I have other things to worry about.
6)Martin Skrelli- This dick has been on this list so many times, I no longer have to look up how to spell his idiotic last night. This cock is such a giant pain in the ass, he did something few before him have had the ability to do. Through the sheer dickness he exudes, the hatred that he brings out in the people, he did the fantastic in not only uniting both democrats and Republicans in a congressional panel His Royal Fuckwad was speaking at, he actually single handedly made Congress look good in comparison, thus a few point rise upward in their record low opinion polls. He refused to answer questions about him raising prices into the stratosphere for life saving drugs, invoking the Fifth, while either smirking or looking bored, pissing everyone off. I swear the congress people in that room were ready to sing Kumbaya with each other after it was over. It's like as if Justin Bieber was the devil and you just got out of a concert he made you attend. If he wanted to look even more like a dangerous psycho, he couldn't have succeeded better. Congrats, douche.
5)Iowa Caucuses- This was a giant clusterfuck on a epic scale. The GOP side went Cruz heavy, making Trump gracious for a second and a half, before he went super mental and talked about cheating and what not. Only, he wasn't all that wrong as Cruz pulled some dirty tricks by calling constituents to let them know that Ben Carson was leaving the race, but who was actually flying home to Florida for a change of clothes ( I cannot believe that is true, even if it is). Carson may have lost a lot of votes that way and Cruz gained them instead. On the Democratic side, instead of just voting any person with the most votes wins, the Iowa people have decided to make it the most confusing, idiotic, and I will use this word again, CLUSTERFUCK, that I cannot believe that this is how it is done. I would have been less surprised if they sacrificed chickens and had the bones tell them who to vote for. People stood around a room and moved about in some weird, zombie like fashion to indicate who they would vote and then the scream at each other about why their candidate should win, convincing others to leave or join them. That is insane. That needs to go and let's go by high vote wins. Everything was so confused and poorly organized that the real winner will never be known. Some votes appear to have been changed, all in Hillary's favor go figure, meaning dirty politics is already at play. Vote Bernie 2016. It's our last chance to save this country before things get violent.
4)Hillary Clinton- She did not have the greatest week. She did okay at the debate, better on foreign policy than domestic, but the fact that was she was on the defensive for the first contentious hour does not bode well as many tune out after the first hour. She got tripped up bad on the question about her releasing her Goldman Sachs speeches and I saw fear in her face before she came up with a dance around answer. Those speeches are her krytonite. We need to find them before she secures the nomination and the other side digs them up. It would be her death knell. Better she lost now, so President Ted Cruz doesn't become a reality. The press is all over this and it's not going to go away now, just like Mitt Romney's taxes followed him to his demise. If they think you have something to hide, the press will not let it go, ever. She is in a real bind over this and Chelsea might be thinking the same when she recently called her mom's opponent, "President" Bernie Sanders. Freudian slip maybe?
3)Chris Christie- While this fat blowhard is busy raping my eardrums at the latest debate, he was also selling out the people of NJ to suffer the same fate as Flint, Michigan. Against everyone's wishes, Tub a Goo decided to privatize the state water supply, because God forbid the government run anything. This stands to reason that prices will increase, service will drop, and any day now, they will be drinking toxic crap that the self policing industry has no interest in stopping less their profits dry up. Thank God he is running way behind in the Presidential race because this guy sucks.
2)Jeb Bush- Speaking of sucking, Jeb had a bad week. His mommy had to come out to save him in NH where he is clearly not going to win. As a close neighbor, I can tell you, the ads are none stop and a lot of them are for Jeb. As someone paid to look at the polls, I can clearly tell you that he would have had better support of he just dumped the money in the street instead. They are not working. Even worse, at a recent rally, he had a big speech moment that when it stopped, no one realized it. There was a truly awkward moment of silence followed by Jeb pleading with them to clap. It was just sad. And so is he, in every way.
1)The Republican debate- As clusterfucky as the Iowa Caucasus were, it paled in comparison to the total disaster that was the debate last night. It started badly and went downhill from there. Before the night even started, there was an odd pile up backstage as Ben Carson missed his cue to come out and just stood there waiting for it to repeat, which it didn't. Cruz and Bush clipped by, but then Trump stood and waited with him, while John Kasich's name was not mentioned at all, even though he was there for the debate. It was beyond awkward. Then the questions came which were the usual drivel I have come to expect from the media. Can you guys ask anything different other than taxes and foreign policy? Please? Even worse, the candidates answered the questions perhaps as badly as you can answer a question. Everyone suffered a poor night with Bush looking bewildered and lost, Cruz his snarky, nasty self, and Trump was lost in the din. He had the best night by just not saying the epic crap that everyone else was. Sometimes sticking to talking points work. But not for poor Mark Rubio. But before I lay into him, let's mention Kusich and Carson if no other reason than that they, along with uninvited harpy Fiorina, are doomed after Tuesday. They certainly made zero effect at the debate as Carson mentioned every single time. We get it. But you're still going to lose. Rubio and Christie went at it last night and both did real damage to each other. Christie got the best barbs in against Rubio, basically equating him with a damaged robot who couldn't say anything different, who then inexplicably did just that many times over the night when he kept trying to insult Obama, but instead came off like a compliment half the time. It was a terrible performance at a clutch time. It may doom his candidacy. Christie, while accurately calling out Rubio, also came across like the big bully blowhard which he is. But what the hell happened to Rubio? He malfunctioned on the wrong night, and while it may not be as bad as Rick Perry's oops moment, or even Hillary's new upcoming Goldman Sachs scandal (trust me it's coming if she doesn't release the transcripts), this will hurt. And it was totally preventable. So congratulations Republican Party for an epically bad debate filled with lies and half truths and especially for Marco Rubio for being a robotic douche. You are all indeed douchebags of the week.