10)2nd US Circuit Court of Appeals- If the system we have set up can't do even simple jurisprudence then the country really is over. This week, in a two to one ruling, Tom Brady's conviction for ball deflation was let stand even though there isn't a shred of scientific proof that it even happened, not to mention the fact that as overly deflated balls will travel less far due to physics, and the Pats played pretty bad in the first half with said balls, only to crush the Colts in the second half with properly inflated balls, there is no legal reason to let this stand. One judge, Denny Chin, may be the worst judge in the country as apparently Dipshit is too fucking stupid to know how to read as he claimed there was "overwhelming evidence" something had happened, meaning he only read the awful Wells Report and ignored every single other piece of evidence that the League erred in their punishment (which was way harsher than even League rules suggested as this was the equivalent of using Stickum on a ball which has a $8000 fine), as well as countless scientific studies that showed the Wells Report was garbage. It would be the equivalent of reading one article about how global warming is not happening and deciding that was all you needed to read to make up your mind. I get it. You hate the Pats. And they did cheat in the past. But not here. The evidence does not support that hypothesis. Stop the witch hunt already. I hope he wins on appeal because this ruling sucked.
9)Beyonce- I had no problem with Beyonce marrying Jay-Z, like some did. I liked her half time performance at the Super Bowl over the really shitty band Coldplay. I didn't even mind her video portraying herself as a Black Militant that got White America's panties in a bunch. But her latest video is too far even for me. One thing I abhor more than anything else is the sanctification of horrible people. Scalia was a dick and for most of America to pretend otherwise is a slap in the face of all of those he hurt. Listening to people prattle on as to what a great legal mind he was makes me wants to puke. He was an evil man who thank God is rotting in his grave. I danced when I heard he went away. The black community is also doing this in it's reverence for Trayvon Martin and Mike Brown, both of whose mom's appear in the video along side pictures of their dead kids. Had they used Sandra Bland's mom or Tamir Rice's or Freddy Grey's, that would be fine as those people got killed mostly due to no fault of their own. Martin and Brown were racist pigs who deserved what they got. They were not heroes. They tried to kill someone and got put down for it. End of story. Hands up, don't shoot was a myth. Trayvon Martin was on top of Zimmerman and slamming his head into the pavement. They were not innocent. Stop pretending otherwise. Of all the black people to pick from killed by cops why these two losers?
8)Liz Warren- How dare I put Liz Warren on this list, some of you are most likely saying. What has she done to deserve this? She's the best. And I would wholeheartedly agree. And that is why she is on here. Had she run for President as so many of us wanted her to, she would almost certainly be the front runner, giving us the first female president nominee so that gets rid of Hillary and with the passion and ideas of Bernie that the rest of us like. It's would have been the best of both worlds and no way would the GOP even had a chance. I firmly believe she would have done real good for this country. Instead we have a choice between a bowl of puke and a toilet filled with poo. Awesome. Our future is limited. Had Warren run we might have actually had a chance.
7)Jessica Alba- Her Honest Co is anything but as yet another lawsuit, it's third in as many months, this time claiming the actress' health company is a sham and it's baby formula is under attack for being everything it says it is, but really isn't. Organic my ass apparently. This follows similar lawsuits about other products which said contained none of the ingredients that it actually did. Oops. How DIShonest is this company? If you are buying products from this company that now includes detergent that has all the chemicals it says it doesn't, a sunscreen that acted like baking oil and now baby food that is not organic, you are an idiot and deserve whatever ailment you get. I wonder how companies stay in business and then I read the next story and shake my head sadly.
6)Chiptole- The Mexican eatery took a massive dive this last quarter as profits dropped by 30%. That's a lot. It's also not 100% meaning some of you assholes are still eating there? WHY? Now while they haven't killed anyone as of yet, they certainly have caused thousands to shit their pants with alarming regularity. South Park once made a joke about this brand years ago where Cartman had to buy a product, called Chiptolaway, to keep himself from shitting himself bloody after eating at Chiptole. The rest of the gang couldn't figure out why he just didn't stop eating there. Exactly? Why take a chance with a product that has a long history of making people sick and just NOT eat there. There are plenty of other Mexican restaurants, Taco Bell not one of them, and go eat there. Q'Doba is awesome and has yet to poison anyone and there are countless other places that serve food that won't make you live on a toilet for three days. Stop eating here.
5)The economy- Our economy is failing and fast. Growth for last quarter was .5% and you can bet money that number will drop in revisions that always seems to occur when no one is paying attention. Housing sales are declining, yet prices continue to rise as are rents. The funny part is that wages are not keeping up anywhere near even the low rate of inflation the government lies to us about. As a result, more and more people are getting squeezed and we can see that as no one is buying anything anymore. Inventory is skyrocketing and with it, job layoffs which are occurring already. Businesses are losing money, especially energy corporations, banks, tech and retail. That's pretty much everything. Yet the stock market keeps going up. It's all going to go tits up. Let us just hope it waits until after the election because I don't want to have to move to Canada.
4)John Kasich- This man has lost and is just going through the motions at this point. He also seems to have a tapeworm because he is eating his way across the country. Everytime I see him, he is pilling something into his face. And not just like a sandwich or something but a table filled with nummies. It's like he's auditioning for another season of Man V Food. I expect him to get his own Food Channel show after all of this is over. Call it Kasich Eats Everything.
3)Ted Cruz- Another loser in waiting, dumbass decided to rev up his dying career with an announcement that Carly Fiorina will be his running mate. Great job picking someone even less popular than you. It would be like Dick Cheney picking Charles Manson as his running mate. Not that it matters as a contested convention looks less and less likely but the Establishment is going to have a fit with Trump as their spokesperson. The RNC is still going to have a fight on it's hands and do not be surprised to see several people running on both sides of the aisle as independents. Not that they can win, but they may play spoiler to someone. It didn't help this week that Cruz also didn't know what a basketball hoop was, calling it a ring. In Indiana. Sigh.
2)Donald Trump- I have to admit, he had a better week that most. He even went so far as to admit a very liberal policy toward bathrooms and trans-gendered people that made the religious right furious. It was also the correct answer. Cruz jumped on it called Trump a liberal, which he is. It's also why so many are flocking to him because the far right has fewer members than any other group in the country. They just scream the loudest. With people voting for him in droves, it is also likely he will be the GOP candidate for President. And there in lies a huge problem. First, demographics and the fact that Hillary will cheat like there is no tomorrow spell disaster for the party. 70% of women find him abhorrent, blacks and Latinos will sooner vote for David Duke than him, and Millennials would rather spend the week with their parents than see him in the White House. There is also the distinct possibility that like Hillary, he may be facing a trial, as the lawsuit against his Trump University is going through and that could land him on the stand. I expect him to settle long before that happens though. The GOP is DOA.
1)Primaries and the MSM- I have noticed exit poll disparity the likes of which I have never seen. In any other country, these results would call into question the fairness of elections and would require a do over. Elections in places like Uruguay, Serbia, and Ukraine have been thrown out because exit polls were so far off from the total. In the US, we fix the exit poll data to match the results. Edison Research and CNN are both guilty of poll fixing and I can prove it in any court of law. They are both altering final totals by adding in fictional people, calling it an "adjustment," even though there is no scientific reason to do this. In places like Arizona, already the face of a lawsuit brought by various people, the exit polls were off by 33 points. That is impossible. Anything over three is suspect and double digits is a red flag. 33 points is a skyscraper on fire with the words "I'm Cheating" on the side. So if this is something we all can see, where in the blue fuck is our media? 33 points is a sure sign of cheating. Yet not one outlet in the nation has said boo about it. That is telling. It means our media cannot be trusted anymore to tell us anything of any importance. Their allegiance is to themselves and the rich. If you are getting your news solely from Big Media, you are an idiot. This election has already been decided. Bet money Hillary will be the next president and win in a landslide, Big Business wants things to run better and they can't with obstructionist Republicans in office. So now the Democrats get the big stick and will use social justice to get what they want, which will still rape us silly as abortion rights and gay people get protected. It's still not worth it because in the end we all wind up as slaves. So congratulations to the MSM for letting us get fucked and for the primaries for proving it. You are all douchebag of the week.
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