Sunday, July 9, 2017

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: CHRIS CHRISTIE!

Trump did his usual round of toddler antics this week and that still couldn't beat the sheer arrogance of Chris Christie who proved once again this country is filled with spineless jellyfish who refuse to act out for fear of retribution. None of that will matter if we're all dead because the politicians from both sides seem to want it that way. Why people haven't surrounded the Governor's mansion by now and demanding his head is beyond me? Pictures of this bloated whale on a private beach of his own doing was as close to a "let them eat cake" moment I have ever heard, yer nothing but crickets from Idiot America. What is to going to take our zombified public to wake the fuck up? Let's see those runner ups for a country rapidly running out of time.
Image result for chris christie beach cartoons
10)PTSD diagnoses- There have been fascinating studies done these past ten years talking about the over diagnosis of PTSD. I have noticed WAY to many people being "affected" by this because they were in a minor car accident, gave birth or got yelled at. Having studied this disorder for years to explain why some get it and some don't (I should have it and don't. Why? What makes me different from others who have experienced TRUE trauma?), I noticed far too many being told they too had PTSD for something as stupid as their TV show got cancelled as Amanda Byrne said and not the fact she has other far more serious mental problems. So either mankind is even weaker than I thought, or psychiatrists have been misdiagnosing PTSD for some time now. I know which I think is more likely and once again Big Pharma raises its ugly head, as they are the real reason for the increase so they can sell more drugs, which have indeed been on the rise for the past ten years. Yeah, no correlation there. PTSD only happens to people in true life or death situations. If this hasn't happened to you, you don't have PTSD no matter what your quack doctor says.

9)Films of 2017- We stand at the halfway mark for the year for films and North America has said in one loud voice that so far, they suck and showed real talent at making some of the worst movies in some time. For all the flack that superhero movies get, here's is one absolute fact: they are also the only films that seem to have workable screenplays. Almost everything else has been garbage and soon to be regulated to the bargain DVD bin. There have been so many films that tanked: the Mummy, Pirates, Transformers, Live by Night, The Great Wall, every single comedy released this year with CHIPS being one of the worst films I have seen in some time, King Arthur, Ghost in the Shell, Monster Trucks, Power Rangers, and Life. That's a lot of suckage. The main problem with almost all of these are the screenplays are terrible, Without that you have nothing. You'd think Hollywood would have learned that lesson by now. So complain about superhero movies all you want. At least they're well written and produced, well Marvel anyway. However, Wonder Woman was awesome.
Image result for chris christie beach cartoons
8)Hobby Lobby- The Christian crafts store proves my point about how the more religious you are, the more likely you are to be a horrible person. This week, the company got caught red handed stealing biblical items from Iraq, most likely for pieces in their new biblical museum opening soon in DC, and fined three million for their troubles. How is it if you are a corporation you can kill someone and get off but try it as an individual with less than a few hundred million and watch your ass get thrown in jail? Apparently these fuckers are too stupid too read because I am fairly certain that the Ten Commandments have things like don't steal, don't lie, and don't envy things. This sounds like they broke all three. So birth control, which is mentioned never in the Bible, is from the devil but stealing, something explicitly forbidden, is fine. You people are dicks. Fuck you and anyone still shopping at this hellhole.

7)Louise Mensch- You had your time as a conspiracy theorist but guess what, that time is over. The former British PM and now anti-Trump blogger has made some outlandish theories as of late such as Orrin Hatch being prepared for being sworn in as President and a grand jury being convened for RICO charges. So far, neither appears to be true. Neither has just about anything this woman has written in her blog this year other than a few items some time back earning her the little goodwill she could muster. But since then, she was whiffed far worse than me and most are looking at her site as nothing more than bluster. Reporters should never use anonymous sources as their only source of info. You never know where their true loyalties lie.

6)Grace Park and Daniel Day Kim- These two fine actors got caught in identity politics this week and may have just ruined their careers as a result. Thinking they were stars of the show and not second tier actors, which they were, both left the show after not being given money parity with the two leads, McGarret and Dano. Even though they would have received huge raises, because it wasn't what the other two were getting, they walked and then had the audacity to say publicly it was because they were Asian. Fuck no it wasn't. That's how the business is modeled. If every show had to pay parity to an entire cast, they would go bankrupt overnight. It is not economically feasible. It's crap like this that makes white America lose their minds over. In the past, when actors do this, they get blacklisted and never work again. Considering neither has any jobs lined up yet, they find themselves not getting anything like they used to and certainly not the pay they would want. Everything is not always about race. Christ this nation needs to wake the fuck up.
Image result for chris christie beach cartoons
5)EU migrants- More lefty nonsense that is destroying the planet. Both Stephen Hawkins and Bill Gates this week noted that Europe CANNOT keep letting in migrants fleeing not war torn countries but just poverty as it will overwhelm the system. Most of these "refugees" are not that at all but economic migrants looking for a better life and, usually, free stuff not available at home. If this keeps up, civil war is inevitable there as the people from these nations are eventually going to rise up and murder them. It is unsustainable. I know it sucks when you have to throw babies back to the horrific country they came from but that is the only way to keep your nation from imploding. Sooner than later, Europe is going to start armed borders and navy patrols to send people back to where they came from. Or, they can watch Europe become overwhelmingly Muslim. Which do you think is more likely?
Image result for chris christie beach cartoons
4)Clay Higgins- The Representative from Louisiana stepped in it hard this week when he idiotically decided to tape himself wandering through Auschwitz.  Nothing says "stoic Silence," like a video tour by a racist congressperson. Needless to say, the Internet and Jews everywhere were horrified and rightfully so. This is a place where millions died and this guy acted like it was some sort of fucking infomercial. He apologized soon after. At least he wasn't my friend's dad who while there asked the guide where the gift shop was because he wanted to buy some lampshades. They were unamused.

3)North Korea- These guys are rocketing us (no pun intended) towards a world war. It has become painfully clear that as much as everyone doesn't want a war with them, there is seems to be little wiggle room not to have that be the outcome. All the pundits declare peace as the only avenue but then stumble as they admit the nation is unlikely now to give up its' arsenal. So we need peace but only after they get nukes? Yeah, that won't end the planet. If they get nukes, chances are high they will blackmail the Earth with them. Pay us money or we launch. End sanctions or we invade South Korea. This could destabilize the planet as these actions are unlikely to succeed. If that is the case, then war is inevitable and the longer we wait, the more people are going to die. War is coming. Bet on it. And because morons like Bush the Lesser and fuckwads like John Bolton killed the peace process during their tenure, the whole world may now end. So for all you idiots asking how long am I going to blame Bush for the stupid shit he did I will remind you that actions presidents took more than a hundred years ago are still affecting us today. Bush was just the final straw for this nation that now looks unlikely to survive more than at best a few more years. You voted for these idiots America. Now you'll get to see what karma looks like in the form of a giant mushroom cloud right outside your front door.

2)Trump- This dick was so out of place at the G20 summit. World leaders are laughing at him, seeing him for the fool the rest of this country couldn't. Hillary may have been an evil corporate bitch, but she wasn't a total idiot either. You elected a guy who whose brain power could be measured in single digits. I love how he thought we would all believe him when he said everyone there was asking about John Podesta and why he didn't turn over the DNC server to the CIA. First off, no one was talking about that there. North Korea, migrants and the economy all came up way before that. Two, Podesta and the DNC are separate things as he has no power to hand over things he would never had access to. Third, the CIA has nothing to do with any of this. Trump also met with Putin in which we are being told drastically different things as to how to all unfolded. Trump says he pressed him on Russian hacking for a long time. Putin says he says he didn't do it and Trump accepted that. I believe Putin a lot more than Trump and as we have no way of knowing what occurred as there were very few people in the room, are going to have to accept that. Trump is dirty. It's only a matter of time before we find out how dirty.
Image result for chris christie beach cartoons
1)Chris Christie- This fat bastard was caught lounging on a private beach, caused by his shutting down all the parks right before the 4th of July due to budget problems. At first he denied ever being out on the beach, but when pictures surfaced outing him as a liar, his response was he didn't actually get any sun because he had a hat on. Are you fucking kidding me?  And then instead of apologizing, he told NJ residents to take a flying leap as he's governor and can do whatever he likes. If they don't like it, he said, they can run for governor and get all the perks that way.  How is an angry mob not actively seeking his head right now? He told the people of his state, that he was elected to run, that they can fuck themselves and there is nothing they can do about it. Apparently he was right, because those angry mobs never came, proving my point that this nation is going to slide into oblivion because no one wants to rock the boat. I do, in this column, every week. And I may a price for it one day. But at least I am trying to inform of you as to what is actually going on and not sticking my head in the sand as way too many of you do. Chris Christie should be outed from office for his arrogance and the fact that he's could care less what happens to the people of NJ is shameful. As his political career is over, rumor is he's thinking about getting into sports talk radio. I can only hope call after call is him getting called horrible things. Congratulations, you human pig, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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