Apparently this fucking midget moron doesn't know when to leave the party. Trump thew him under the bus this week and he still didn't take the hint to quit. Sessions' actions this week are making me have murderous thoughts towards him, and I don't even feel that way about Trump. The Attorney General position has a long line of terrible candidates but it looks like we have finally hit rock bottom with this absolute idiot who is starting to enact policies that literally no one wants, not even majorities of his own party. Let's see those runner ups in yet another sad, sad week for democracy.
10)Chiptole- Who in the BLUE FUCK still eats HERE? I mean have we sunk so far into stupidity that society no longer has the ability to avoid obvious harmful situations. Apparently not because this chain is still being frequented by people who have no food standards or desire to live past Tuesday whatsoever. This week we had two incidents that make me question this country's reasoning ability. One was in Sterling, VA where for the 3097th time, 100's of people got violently ill. AGAIN. Can this country not remember what happened five minutes ago? That has proven true as millions voted for Republicans in 2008 after they destroyed the economy and are track to do the exact same thing now. Norovirus was the culprit probably because this country lacks sick days so assholes show up and infect more which in this case sent their stock plummeting. Then, just to rub salt in the wound, diners at a Dallas franchise got rained on by falling rats from the ceiling. YUCK! If you eat here still, you are most likley a Trump supporter, fucking mentally challenged or, even more likely, both.
9)American Heart Association- Trust is gone in this country and it's douchebags like this group and a news media that is incapable of reporting it have soured society toward education in general. Almost 60% of Republicans now view higher education as a waste of time. Much like black people causing a lot of their own troubles, college students here got the rest of in trouble by acting like spoiled children having a tantrum. But all of this is making us more racist, more tribal and eventually, more dead. Science is supposed to be the big equalizer but here we have yet another organization telling us "facts" that aren't. The AHA came out again today against fat in things like meat and butter, saying it causes heart disease. There's only one problem with this: it's total bullshit. We've known since the 1950's what causes heart disease and it isn't fat, it's sugar. But because the AHA is obviously taking some sort of bribe from the sugar industry (which they have been doing for decades and provably so in the past), we get "science" but is in reality, disinformation posing as science. Give NO money to this group as their priorities are not what they say they are. Feel free to look this up for yourselves as well. You will be stunned by the results.
8)Noah's Ark Exhibit- Speaking of bullshit, Ken Ham tried to pull a fast one, Donald Trump style, on the town of Williamstown, Kentucky when they slapped a fifty cent tax on every ticket sold for safety needs to the totally made up story of Noah that this dick thinks actually happened. Instead of just going along with what would have been a loss of near nothing considering tickets cost a whopping forty dollars, he instead decided to not pay it by declaring the property "religious territory" when he sold the land to a non-profit for a dollar, and one in which he has control over. After patting himself on the back, the state retaliated by revoking his favored status for taxes and starting next month, will begin losing as much as eighteen million dollars a year in taxes they now HAVE to pay. Considering this place is hanging by a thread right now as attendance wasn't as high as he expected, it may go belly up soon. God is quick these days to make those pay who deserve it, isn't he? Trump certainly looks to be in his crosshairs.
7)Devin Nunes- I FUCKING HATE, HATE, HATE THIS MAN!!!!. Besides being an obvious Trump toady, he's also a partisan sleaze. Douchebag had to step away from the House Intelligence Committee he chairs after being caught red handed passing information to Trump, which is the guy he was supposed to be investigating. Now, he, all on his own, sent out subpoenas to various former Obama officials for some bullshit "unmasking" charge which I never understood exactly what he was looking for. Any so called unmasking was done by people who had the authority to do so and never leaked this info to anyone who didn't have clearance to see it. There has never been one iota of evidence otherwise and zero proof the media was ever informed about this illegally. But, true to his Trump toady status, he did this to put pressure on the whole "Obama was a crook too," bull. This hit a wall this week when his Senate Republican counterpart Richard Burr publicly came out against this as a witch hunt wholly invented by Nunes. Ouch! According to Burr, no laws were broken and this whole thing is a waste of time. Just like I said months ago.
6)Celebrity Outrage- Famous people need to know when to shut the FUCK up. Two talented actors I really like both stuck their noses into something they shouldn't have and I lost a lot of respect for both. Hot on the heels of two actors I plan on avoiding like the plague, Daniel Day Kim and Grace Park for their recent racial tirade of bullshit, come John Boyega and Rachel Evan Wood, who have damaged their standing as well. Boyega went off about the lack of black roles on Game of Thrones, somehow missing the fact the Dragon Queen's interpreter is black, as are most of the army of the Unsullied, including their leader. Now it is true the families are white and so what. Not everything has to be about black people. We don't bitch when their are no white people on Blackish or the Carmichael show for an episode or even as a main character because we have better things to do than worry about garbage like that. Woods was even worse. After Kevin Smith shared a story about Ben Affleck saying he felt like a real actor after having to kiss a guy and that it was rough. Wood went off on him, ignoring the fact this was from more than twenty years ago, and then had the audacity to say "try getting raped on camera." Not the same at all unless you ACTUALLY got raped in the scene which I highly doubt. He had to actually kiss another guy, which as a hetero man, doesn't sound all that appealing. She went on to say kissing women is no better and on that front she would be right as the same dynamics should apply to straight women. But Jesus, Hollywood, lighten the fuck up.
5)Democrats- These guys are just so good at losing. They have yet to come up with a powerful message like Single Payer and legal weed, so instead have just gone to infighting and no clear path forward. Unfortunately, this lack of action has caused their fund raising to dry up because they lack any political will at this point. The Republicans pay a lot of attention to their base. The Democrats ignore theirs. Which has been more successful? When Shillary picked Vampire Kaine for VP, the democratic lost their one last chance to show progressives they meant something. Trump picked Pence and solidified his base. Hillary's pick killed hers. Last month, their fundraising hit record lows, not helped by the fact they spent 22 million on a surefire ineffective campaign in Georgia where they lost again. Any changes after that? Nope. These guys are going to need a miracle to keep this country from sliding into total fascism. Their inaction is so Wiemar Republic-like it's not even funny and we all know what came after those fools. We better get some far better people running in the primaries because these assholes are going to kill us all.
4)The police- I will say this for the cheap seats who are not listening: THE POLICE ARE NOT HERE TO HELP YOU! They are here to enforce the status quo by any means possible. Calling any of these assholes at this point is to ask to die. Never call 9/11 unless it is a last resort. This week, we say multiple examples of this fact. The biggest was a white woman assassinated by a cop in Minnesota. I was pleased to see some black people force the issue, something in a previous column I chastised them for so go you guys and I apologize for asking where were the protests. They did come and forced out the police chief, who stayed on vacation as all this was going on, and has severely weakened the mayor whose calls for ouster are growing louder. The fact that transparency in this case of a black, Muslim cop shooting a white woman has been non-existent to such an extent that a cover-up seems to be going on. The officer in question has yet to be interviewed (WTF?) and the story is full of holes. This story isn't going away as there are way too many questions. And then there is the city of Baltimore whose entire police department should be investigated, and/or fired or put into prison. If Sessions wasn't such a fucking asshole, this would have already happened. Instead, crickets. First off, camera video plainly shows one cop planting evidence to frame a suspect. Oops. In another, two cops pled guilty this week to racketeering charges for armed robberies , fraud and other crimes they did while working as police. This is the same police department that killed Freddy Grey and got away with it. Visit Baltimore carefully because the cops there cannot be trusted.
3)Mitch McConnell- What an ass. After his health care bill died, douchebag said he is STILL holding a vote in Tuesday. As to what that vote will be is anyone's guess. Will it be repeal? That is unlikely to get even 40 votes of tried. Replace? If Paul and Collins are still fuck no's to even bring the bill up, even without anyone else, the bill will die as McCain won't be present for that vote. It's further complicated by the senate parliamentarian who ruled that half of the current health care bill is not possible to be part of the budget reconciliation process, meaning much of the worst parts would need sixty votes and that is not happening. He could vote to overrule that with a simple majority,but that would break the legislative filibuster if done and could lead to turmoil if implemented, not to mention, both sides have a solid majority against doing something like this, so that also seems an unlikely path. The most likely scenario is he will idiotically put this up for a vote, it will die, and the Democrats will weaponize this against them come 2018. Those that don't vote will get primaried. It's bad news either way if this comes up for a vote. The best bet is to let this thing die quietly and talk with the other side about fixing what they can. Whether that will happen or not remains to be seen.
2)Trump- What a dick. He had quite the shakeup this week after two of his senior legal time either quit or was fired, along with Sean Spicer who quit over the hiring of a new press secretary, Anthony Scaramucci, "the mooch," who he felt was not a good choice. So far, he hasn't done that great, confirming on occasion things the Trump administration would like to forget or obfuscate. The best was when he told a reporter he was talking with Trump about pardons which Trump has all but denied, even while tweeting about it. He has asked about pardons including pardoning himself which will never fly. No judge can preside over his own trial. And while Trump can pardon anyone, that does not apply to state charges which would almost certainly be filed in such a case. Getting a pardon is considered to be an admission of guilty in a court of law so accepting one could still wind you behind bars. This man is guilty, maybe even of treason, and let us hope evidence exists to prove it. If he tries to hide it by figuring out a way to fire Mueller, this country will burn.
1)Jeff Session- Every time I see this fucking Keebler elf I want to burn his goddamned tree to the ground. I have never wanted someone gone as much as this dick. Like the rest of the GOP, he is doing real damage to this country and will result in hundreds of thousands of deaths and millions locked away again. Word is he is going after weed, legal and medical, which is certain to start a civil war of does. This is my pledge and a red line. If you go after medical pot, and millions suffer as result, an angry mob will come for you and your family. If you want to see what real pitchforks and torches looks like go after something over 90% of this country supports. The outcry against this will be beyond deafening, and I would seriously worry for his safety. But wait, he's not done yet. He's also instructed the county's authorities that going back to the confiscation of money and goods from people never convicted for a crime is a great idea. Sessions also went to replace mandatory minimums for non violent drug crimes,which is sure to clog up our courts and prisons once again. Jeff Sessions is a stain on society and if he keeps doing what he is doing that is a stain that is going to be removed legal or not when society stands up and says ENOUGH! We are getting dangerous close to a point when arms against the government is no longer a theory but an inevitability. I told you what would happen if you chose Trump and it's all coming true. Read previous columns for proof. I said that black people better like prison and having cops kill them with impunity which is exactly what happened. You should have showed up and voted for the bitter grandma cause Uncle Trump is molesting us all. Hopefully, Sessions alleged dealings with the Russians will lead to his firing or impeachment. Trump doesn't trust him anymore. Why should we? So congratulations Jeff Sessions for being one giant asshole and indeed douchebag of the week.