Sunday, October 28, 2012

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: REPUBLICANS. ALL REPUBLICANS.

If there was one word I would use to describe the week the GOP and their supporters had, I would use this one: Meltdown. It was a terrible week for them with one self inflicted wound after the other. It was hilarious. Let's see those runner ups.

1) Italy- This week, seven seismologists were found guilty of manslaughter for failing to warn the Italian government about an earthquake that killed 308 people in 2009. WTF? Are you kidding me? The only plus to this story is that it's refreshing to see rampant stupidity somewhere not in the US for once. Someone should explain to the Italian criminal system that seismology is not an exact science and NO ONE on the planet has a reliable way to measure severity. Hawaii got a tsunami warning today from an earthquake off the Canadian coast which turned out to be nothing. Using the logic of the Italian court system, every business that had to shut down could sue for damages from the "faulty" warning, which of course, will never happen here, no matter how backward thinking a lot of us are. This is a warning for us all that mankind on a world wide scale are somehow devolving back into witch hunts and flat earth mentality. Way to inspire your children into a career in science Italy.

2)Eric Hartsburg- This idiot tattooed a copy of the Romney insignia onto his face for $15,000. Not surprisingly, people who see the tattoo hurl insults at him. Shocker. He plan to auction space on his forehead next. I have a suggestion: DUMBASS.

3) Hurricane Sandy- This "Frankenstorm" is barreling toward the east coast with devastating possibilities for everyone involved. The Jersey Shore is going to get pummelled so I would suggest that the cast from the same titled show go down to the beach for a closer look. Trust me, it's fine. And don't forget your future serial killer to take with you, Snookie. Romney must be spitting nails over this which has not only stopped any campaign stops in places like Ohio, Virginia, NC and Florida (all states he has to win), but also knocked his messaging off the nightly news as well as giving the President a time to shine when they have been in damage control all week. I am starting to wonder of God has a sense of humor after all as this is the SECOND hurricane to hurt the GOP in the last few months.

4)People who think weather modification is real- This week, I have heard from some like Alex Jones and Rush Limbaugh that the hurricane coming has been engineered by the democrats to destroy Romney's chances at winning. There is no part of that statement that is true. First, if we had weather modification technology, wouldn't we be using it places like Texas where the drought has gone on for years now? Or to steer hurricanes AWAY from the country? A story has been circulating about a couple who were taken to an army base and told that a major storm would be approaching the coast in a few weeks and to prepare. There are so many holes in this story that it's not worth my time explaining it. Accept the story as bunk and let's move on. Weather modification is not real.

5)Hamas- In an apparently suicidal attempt to end all life on the planet, the Muslim nutbags known as Hamas have been firing a steady stream of rockets from the Gaza Strip this week. Worse, they have taken steady aim at the nuclear plant at Dimona. If by some miracle they not only hit it but damage it to such an extent that a nuclear accident occurs, what do they think Israel's response would be? I am guessing they will flatten the Gaza strip and possibly nuke Syria, Lebanon and Iran back to the stone age. These fuckwads are going to get us all killed. Somalia has indirectly declared war on Israel after a missile plant for Iran was bombed this week. Israel responded by chuckling to themselves and double dog daring them to do anything. What are they panning as a response? Catapults?

6)Yoselyn Ortega- This horrible person allegedly stabbed the two children she was babysitting in NYC this week and then herself in the neck. The mom returned with her other child to come across this awful scene. Ortega survived her self inflicted wound. Other than some rumors of psychological issues, no one had any idea she was mentally ill or even capable of this terrible tragedy. Oddly enough though, there are some odd anomalies with this story that do bear looking at. The father of the two kids is a media executive at CNBC. One hour after the attack, a story about a lawsuit seeking $43 trillion against the major banks disappeared from their website with no explanation as to why. Coincidence?  This follows on the heels of a banker in Europe who was assassinated this week. Are they connected? More on this tomorrow as I do more research on this developing story.

7)All Republicans- If you are thinking about voting for any GOP candidate at this point, there is something wrong with you. After what can only be described as one of the worst week's for any presidential candidate ever, how can any reasonable person look at almost any person running under the Republican banner and think, "they have my best interests at heart?" Let's start with Monday with Romney's dismal performance at the debate which killed his momentum and gives Obama the edge to win the election now. Any pollster worth his weight can see the tide turning against him, and regardless of a random poll here or there, the average polls show a distinct movement toward Obama. If Romney's debate performance was the worst thing that happened this week, he wouldn't be in such sorry shape. Sadly for him, it was not to be.

First, he got Donald Trump announcing a HUGE bombshell that would derail the President and sweep Romney into victory. Instead, we got more birther type nonsense about PT Trump offering $5 million to the president's charity if his choice if he coughs up his college records and passport info. Nevermind the fact that Romney faces similar actions for not releasing his tax returns like EVERY presidential candidate has done for decades, but no president has ever released his college records willingly, nor should they. The media laughed at Trump and for once it wasn't because of the dead animal on his head. Trump was also fired that same day from Trump Place condos for mismanagement of the building. That's funny.

Later that day, Sarah Palin strode foreword and announced in a clear voice that she is racist and damn it, people better realize it. She actually used the words "shuck and jive" to describe Obama's response in Benghazi, which is one step below calling him "nigger" to his face. I can't understand why the GOP is having such a hard time getting the black vote can you?

Not to be outdone, Richard Mourdock, the GOP incumbent in Indiana, then goes on a grand stupidity tour in which he announces that any woman who is raped and gets pregnant should accept is as God's will. Really? How well do you think that will play with women voters? I am being told that hate it with the passion of a thousand suns. Worse, one of the only ads Romney has done for a Senatorial candidate is Mourdock for which he has not only stood behind but has refused to take down the ad because there is no better ad campaign then Mitt's smiling puss next to a name now synonymous with Todd Akin. Way to go dude. Mourdock went from a sure win to struggling in the polls.

But wait, there's more. The Romney campaign advisor and resident nutbag, John Sununu, went on Pierce Morgan and said Colin Powell is endorsing Obama because he is black. When asked to clarify, Sununu put on a Klan outfit and danced around a burning cross. Okay that last part didn't happen but it might as well have considering how badly he did clarify his statement leaving him no wiggle room to get out of it.

As if all that wasn't enough, we ended the week with John Rick, Mitt Romney and Meatloaf singing "America the Beautiful." What could go wrong with that you ask? Watch the video and it looks like Meatloaf is having a conniption fit during the rendition, singing off key and basically looking like a loon. Not the photo op you had hoped, eh Romney?

Why is anyone still voting for these people? One of my friends said he was still up in the air because of Obama getting rid of guns. When I explained that that simply has NOT happened, I asked him where he heard it from. Of course, it was from his idiot stepdad who no doubt got it from the even more worthless NRA. Any regular reader knows I am to the right of the NRA when it comes to gun control and even I wouldn't give a wooden nickel to this partisan outfit. The NRA doesn't care about gun laws. They care about getting Republicans in office, which by the way, have been even worse for gun laws than the democrats have been. I will remind everyone that George Bush did more to insert new gun laws than Obama ever has, including the 2004 assault weapons ban. Funny, I don't remember the NRA attacking Bush for that bit of legislation. And the Obama administration did nothing to fight against the loosening of hand gun laws in Chicago and DC. Obama is not going after your guns. The GOP is and, because too many out there believe whatever bullshit comes their way (weather modification nuts, I am looking at you), we have a much closer election than it should be. So congratulation to the Republican voters out there who are WAY to stupid to live at this point, you are indeed douchebag of the week.

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